Category: Humor

The End of “Money Month”

“Being happy isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you have.”
– Carrie Fisher

It’s the end of Money Month and so here’s a bit of an overall update for those who have been playing along. Writing about money and consumption has been a really helpful exercise for me in trying to consciously change or update my habits. In some cases I was surprised at the personal insights I explored, in others, I only confirmed my existing suspicions about my financial choices.

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image via Death to the Stock Photo

What have we done?

As a broad status report, our student loan debt is down from nearly $100k initially to less than $16k. Huzzah!

I’ve written a new household budget that I’ll be sticking to (and reporting back on periodically, as it ticks off a 101/1001 goal).

I kicked off another personal shopping ban, one month of three down!

I reinstated my monthly cash budget and stuck to it. In fact, I took it a step further and consolidated all the spare cash and coins in the house to start using our loose change instead of letting it accumulate. As a result, I didn’t once withdraw cash from an ATM this month.

I ticked off another 101/1001 goal by documenting my spending daily, and I learned quite a bit about my casual spending and how it adds up.

Where do we go from here?

Two more months of a personal spending freeze before another self evaluation.

In February I’m going to try and avoid eating out once to tick off another 101/1001 and save in the area where a lot of my discretionary money has gone.

In March I’m going to try and limit my grocery spending to £40 a week, which will require some more planning than usual.

No entertainment spending for two months as well. Instead of going to the theatre or movies etc., I’m going to put that money towards outstanding credit card balances.

Develop a family monthly credit card payment plan. Some months we’ve paid large payments, others just the minimum. I’d like to set monthly target as part of the larger goal to pay them off entirely in the foreseeable future. With our student loans in hand and a sustainable path forward on them, credit is the area of my financial life I want to tackle next.

Incorporate regular donations to causes I care about. Setting aside the personal if this month has taught me anything it’s that this is not a time in which to stay stay silent.

What I’ve learned:

I still believe I’m not bad with money, but what I’ve discovered I am is unregimented and that needs to change.

Specificity is everything. Limits or targets that I can monitor and track helps tremendously, while having a lofty or vague sort of goal is useless to me. I’m not a vision board girl, I’m a list girl!

Breaking down my financial goals into even smaller increments than I used to also helps me achieve larger aims. Sometimes even monthly goals are too vague for me or too easy to forget–or talk myself out of! Weekly goals, on the other hand, are a lot easier for me to keep at the top of my priority list. I’m amending a lot of my habits around this insight, not just financial ones.

What’s a financial goal you’ll be working on this year? How will you be tracking it? 

Five Things I Loved in January

“I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.”
― Oscar Wilde

2017 is off to a rocky political start but there are small pleasures still to be enjoyed and we at SDS believe in signal boosting the good things in life, no matter how small. Here’s a rundown of the media, beauty, and little luxuries that kept me healthy and functional this month. Share yours in the comments!

 

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Hot water bottle. Our new apartment is lovely but the insulation is not the best, plus we tend to keep the temperature lower for both money and environmental factors. Why else were lovely jumpers invented? At any rate, I tend to get cold at night partially because Jeff claims he overheats when he cuddles me too long (side eye) and partially because I have poor circulation in my feet. In looking for some kind of seasonal solution to this most wintery of problems, I noted that retro looking hot water bottles are everywhere in Britain in a way that I don’t remember seeing in the States. I always thought that hot water bottle were old school and a bit silly but eventually I decided to spring for one on Amazon (in late December, so it doesn’t violate my shopping ban). Kittens, I repent. I grovel. I abase myself for my ignorance. This thing is incredible.

 

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Pestle & Mortar. I have been test driving this beauty brand since December and it has been a good decision. A small company and based in Ireland, they ship worldwide and meticulously detail what goes into their small but impactful line. I’ve been using this serum and their nighttime retinol oil everyday this month and to say that it has been doing good things for my face would be an understatement! I gave the sample of their moisturizer included in my order a go and liked it so I will likely make that my next test drive when my current moisturizer runs out.

 

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Everlasting Mini Liquid Lipstick Set, by Kat Von D. This was a Black Friday indulgence that I’ve been testing out ever since and it gets rave reviews from me. Very uncharacteristically I’ve been reaching for non-red lips this winter so far and this mostly cool toned set of colors has been scratching some kind of beauty itch. Excellent staying power and opaque pigmentation, with modern vamp colors–what more could a girl want?

 

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tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush, in Seduce. Yep, another beauty pick, sue me. I’ve been having a bit of a neutrals moment lately (very out of character again, what is happening?!) and this blush is another of my Black Friday buys that I’ve been wearing almost exclusively ever since. The screenshot doesn’t really capture its tone accurately; I might have to throw another pic up on Instagram to show how it looks in the pan so keep an eye out there. tarte expanded their line of blushes last year to include more neutral tones–previously they were known for the pigmented, bright colors of their blush so this was a bit of a departure for them–and the formula is just ace.

 

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To Walk Invisible, by the BBC. This period drama about the lives of the Brontes is not entirely unlike their works in some ways: quiet in places, slow, and intense in spite of (or perhaps because of) both. This film encompasses the last few years of their brother Bramwell’s life, when his descent into alcoholism and their father’s illness put their prospects for support as Victorian women into sharp relief. Their resolve is to try and publish their work, and the rest is well documented history. The moment that hit me most was when their manuscripts are returned from yet another publisher, and they immediately pull out their list of targets for the next one to contact. There’s a lesson in that.

 

Weekend Links

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

Okay, I’m just going to say it. Every single friend, family member, or acquaintance who threw that “literally vs. seriously” line about President Trump at me, telling me that he would never actually try to accomplish any of his campaign promises, needs to step forward and explain a few things now. Because I and others took him both literally and seriously. My greatest concern was the President Trump would do the things he ran on, that he would carry out his threats. That he meant it. One single week into this presidency and thus far, that seems to be precisely what he’s trying to do. And so again, every single person who tried to tell me that, “Oh he doesn’t mean an actual wall,” or that “He doesn’t literally mean a Muslim ban,” or any of his other statements: help me understand your thinking on his actions now given that you must be just as surprised as anyone that he’s actually pushing forward on these platforms. Or please just admit that he did mean it…and that you may have voted for him because you wanted him to mean it too. Then we can probably have some more effective conversations about moving forward as a body politic.

There, rant done for this weekend. Here your links, heavy on the politics, but with a few less pressing items for your consideration. Because beauty and humor are going to keep us fueled as we debate whether the leader of the free world is an Orwellian nightmare, or an absurd five year old. And plan accordingly.

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One of the things I’m trying to do these days is educating myself more about the work of Black feminists and intersectional work. Here’s a primer that was shared following last week’s march.

This. If you are a woman who is happy, autonomous, and feel largely personally fulfilled and secure…you are the beneficiary of generations of women and work who came before you. Congratulations. Seriously! I’m thrilled! But understand that you are not necessarily the norm, in the US or elsewhere.

Bless.

God, the pettiness is just incredible. It’s not enough to strong arm your Press Secretary into blatantly lying and pushing debunked claims on the public, you need the Park Service to try and validate your ego?

In related news, and to paraphrase someone being clever on the internet, none of the dystopian literature I’ve read prepared for the resistance to start with Parks Service, but I’m here for it!

And finally, a firm reminder that if you participated in the marches and have causes that you care about: stay involved! Anger without action is useless.

Self care for the resistance.

The Women March has proclaimed a program of 10 actions in 100 days that everyday citizens can participate in, learn more here.

Public broadcasting is near and dear to my heart. To arms (or at least donations), citizens!

I’m on a shopping ban and have no intention of breaking it, but do admit to some casual flirting with this jumper. For obvious reasons.

Foxes + art = happy C. (h/t to Katarina)

Options!

Body positivity and self love queen Lizzo dropped a new video from her Coconut Oil project, one of my favorite albums of last year. Go forth and be blessed.

Want. All of them.

Album of the week: Culture, by Migos

Spending Diary Vol. 4

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
-Seneca

After getting a bit sloppy last week, I decided to buckle down and organize more this week. I’m still adjusting to a new schedule and some of my anxiety habits are trying to creep in to muck with things like sleep and morning routines, but progress is being made. Again, food took up a lot of spend, but I feel like I have a much better handle on it this week, and was able to use food prep leftovers better.

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Sunday
I wasn’t feeling well after the march on Saturday so we had a slow day. We went to our local brunch joint, did a decent amount of grocery shopping (heavy on the cheap items like pasta), and then I did some packaging prep for leftovers to take to work tomorrow, plus some portioned green smoothie ingredients in freezer bags.
Brunch: £32.80
Groceries: £44.00
Amazon Prime (a monthly recurring cost): £6.25

Monday
Vexation! I packed both snacks and a lunch and was feeling smug…until the office microwave gave up the ghost spectacularly. Alas that my lunch was soup. I had to buy some food, but forewarned is forearmed, and I prepped salad mixes for future meals this week so as not to rely on the kitchen.
Travel card renewal: £33.00
Lunch: £9.60

Tuesday
Much better behaved today, except for one indulgence…
Coffee (cash): £2.90. Bad, C.!

Wednesday
Lunch with a friend in from out of town: £21.00

Thursday
My sleep had been out of wack for several days now (for no readily apparent reason besides groundless anxiety, which is annoying) and I came home feeling like I’d been smacked with a chair and very much not up for cooking. Indian takeaway order it is, planned to account for multiple meals.
Lunch (cash): £4.20
Snack (cash): £1.60
Dinner: £24.80

Friday
Breakfast (cash): £4.70

Saturday
Solo brunch, Jeff was catching up with some of his buddies and I took myself, a bunch of podcasts, and a book off to a local joint to munch and catch up on my reading. It was delightful!
Brunch: £16.40

Total: £201.25

Thursday Poll: Wants v. Needs

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
― Jackie Mason

Let’s have moment of radical honesty together. Following an earlier post, and in the interest of full disclosure, here’s a by-no-means comprehensive list of things I don’t have and shamelessly want. Some are silly, some are serious, some I clearly don’t need, but if money were no object, these were the things that first sprang to mind:

All debt paid off in an instant

A suddenly, fully furnished apartment

A new pair of high waisted jeans that don’t have holes in the knees

Always more lipstick

Over-the-knee boots

A fully outfitted kitchen

Multiple media subscriptions

A realistic path towards owning property

A TV

Houseplants

An iPad to make work on the go easier

A spa day

Gucci loafers (second hand of course)

A cleaning service

An immediately available annual travel budget

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Literally everything I took with me for a long weekend abroad once. 

But were I not on a shopping ban and suddenly had more spending money for the month, what would I get tomorrow if I had to prioritize? I gave myself a mental exercise and actually thought about this for a while: what do I feel like I actually need right now? I consulted my running lists of personal and home good wants before writing another list down:

A larger monthly payment towards student loans/credit cards. Eliminating these suckers would not just free up income, but reduce a lingering background stressor, and allow us to start saving more.

A monthly contribution towards NPR and PBS, given the current political climate. I classify this as a need, because I am very seriously feeling a need to contribute time and money to the causes I care about moving forward. Talk is cheap!

A stock pot for the purposes of more winter soups and the ability to make larger quantities of food during meal prep.

A new and better quality duvet for our bed. Winter ain’t coming any more, it’s here!

Possibly the unwripped jeans…but I have other trousers to wear so then again, probably not!

And…that’s it. I’m serious. What I want and what feel I need have next to no overlap at the moment. I have a place to live, means to get around, pretty hood health overall, and the ability to buy food. I’m up to date on my health appointments, a huge amount of quality media is available to me either free of charge or relatively cheap, and clothes on my back. Everything else would be nice to have but I’m either working towards it, I can get by with what I’ve got in the meantime, or I frankly don’t need it.

Which leads me to conclude, in spite of a good overall sense of how much I spend, I’ve underestimated how much of my life I’ve framed in terms of “wants.” It’s very easy to want things, it takes discipline to determine actual needs. And I’ve clearly been less disciplined than I’d like to admit.

If you made a list of needs, what would be the top three right now? What about what you want–and remember, this is a judgement free zone! 

Quick Check In

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
― Henry David Thoreau

In my 101/1001 list I have a number of goals that seem to fall into themes, and picking an overarching theme (“Money”) to write about publicly and focus on personally for a month has been a great way to jump start my creative energy towards some personal development. I’m on track to tick off a lot of these individual goals in January. Plus, it’s been fun! I’ve enjoyed putting together a series of posts on a single topic over a month tremendously. I’m thinking of trying to do this or similar projects often throughout year.

And so, SDS Nation, lend me your thoughts in the comments and let me know what you’ve liked about this project, didn’t like, or want to see more of moving forward on this and other topics. Health, style, more adventures in finance, what would you like to read and talk about here?

Money Lessons (and Others Learned) from 2016

“We become aware of the void as we fill it.”
― Antonio Porchia

Full disclaimer, this post is going to come across somewhat grim at times, but stick with me here. 2016 was one of our biggest earning years ever, but it also had some decent setbacks in it as well and reflecting over some lessons learned, I’m realizing why financial planning and accountability were such an important topic for me to focus on at the start of the new year: I’m starting to plan bigger.

For a long time the goals we were working towards had a specific timeline and time frame–graduating high school, graduating university, getting a first job, etc.. Our biggest goals were moving to London and start careers there, which we’ve done and are proud of, but even that was achievable in a specific (relatively short) time. Nothing on the future list is really short term any more. We’re thinking about the next thirty to forty years of our working lives, the pros and cons of buying property, whether or not we’re going to try to have kids, if we want to retire in this country or somewhere else…the big stuff.

Even though most people are already working on their Big Plans in some way, 2017 feels like a year where we’re starting to be much more intentional about it. And therefore, some of the biggest lessons learned from last year have been…

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Sh*t happens. From our landlady deciding to sell our relatively cheap apartment to deaths in the family, financial curveballs were thrown. We’re fortunate that we’re young, able to work, willing to work hard, and making enough to cope with hiccups. But being able to cope is not the same thing as assuming from the outset that hiccups and curveballs are coming and being prepared.

Sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off and sometimes plans fall through. Not to throw shade on parents, teachers, and any number of self-help gurus, but I no longer believe in the simple, “work hard and everything will work out” line. Not that this means I’m allowed to throw in any towels, the onus is still very much on me to put my all into everything I choose to do. But what I’ve learned is that sometimes, no matter how much work you put into something, it simply will not go the way you want. Projects fail, jobs don’t work out the way you hoped, people disappoint you, freelance gigs fall through, pitches die on the slushpile.

Related to this point, setbacks and failures are not critical. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m getting older and more wise, or just more practical, but failing at things no longer affects me the way it did in my school years and early 20s. Time was that a rejected pitch would sucker punch my confidence in a bad way. These days with experience and the wisdom of veteran friends, I know that an ignored pitch is not a crisis so much as a typical Tuesday.

That being said, what working hard and working through those typical Tuesdays does ensure is that opportunities keep coming. And even though some of those opportunities end in the slushpile, lots and lots and lots of other don’t! The successes come intermixed, not unadulterated.

Being busy is not being successful. If you are working round the clock and not any better off for it (in terms of your paycheck, health, balance, ambition, or growth) then what you’re experiencing is not success. It’s a quick route to burnout, which is no good because…

There typically is no big payoff, life just goes on. One of the most interesting aspects of the adult world for me was that it doesn’t stop. There is no summer vacation or end of term, there is no finish line or final project. There is no break until retirement, and for my generation even that is up in the air. Meaning that financial plans, career aspirations, skill development, and goals need to have a longer term view than they used to. See opening paragraph.

Being able to afford an indulgent night out with friends, a good apartment, the ability to go visit family in a crisis…those are small, everyday, but important victories that matter and mean we’re mostly on the right track.

Discussion time in the comments. What big lessons, financial or otherwise, did you take out of last year?

Weekend Links: The OK Ladies Now Let’s Get in Formation Edition

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

In case you missed it, the Womens March on Washington (and sister marches around the world, including the one I participated in in London) might have made some records. The coverage is still coming in and it’s amazing to see — more amazing to have participated in. You can see some my images here, but this is a story worth following and watching. To say nothing of joining in. Welcome to the Grab Back.

Oh yeah, and the US has a new president who doesn’t seem to be “pivoting” from his campaign persona in any way. Shock, surprise. I watched his inauguration because I’m a citizen and think it’s important to support the process of free government. The new First Lady looked absolutely lovely, and I thought it was gracious and correct for Secretary Clinton to show up in spite of how awful I expect it felt. The speech was Orwellian, but bang on from the tone of his campaign. The next day I laced up my shoes and hit the streets to make it clear that he was not elected with a mandate and I will be supporting the issues that I care about with my time, my money, and my voice. Because again, I think it’s important to support the process of free government. This is how it works.

Here are your links, kittens. Tell me what you got up to this weekend.

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I found this piece at Politico a very timely read. It opines that President Trump’s hostility towards the press may be a blessing in disguise. If the traditional lines of communication between the administration and the media are clipped, the press can and should (this writer argues) fan out to the myriad unofficial lines instead and take up the opportunity to do more and more extensive investigative reporting.

Also, what did the administration do on Day 2? Malign the press in the face of documented facts and figures, and talk a lot about himself in his “reach out” to the CIA.

Don’t let anyone say the Women’s March doesn’t matter. 2.9 million participants is not a “tantrum.”

An interesting piece on the physical logistics of changing over an administration.

An important reminder about some of the realities of race and privilege, especially when it comes to assembly. I for one, know I can do better and I intend to.

This SNL from Asiz Ansari was great and nicely nuanced against hysteria. We’ll be fine and the people ultimately set the tone for change, and if yesterday is any indication…

Shut up and take my money.

A bit more fashion levity and some street style.

STOP. I swear every time I read an article like this, my heart breaks a little. I know there are more important immediate issues, such as the civilian lives in the crosshairs right now, but this hateful and deliberate dismantling of human history is also hideous

Album of the week: Radiohead, A Moon Shaped Pool

Spending Diary, Vol. 3

“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
― Françoise Sagan

This was a good week personally but a bit sloppy financially. I started a great new gig contract, and worked towards an amazing opportunity with a magazine that hopefully will pan out soon. Fingers crossed! I had another big (planned) purchase this week and so planned to use the results of my kitchen audit to keep grocery shopping to a minimum in order to use food items we already had in the house as the basis of most of our at home meals.

A little planning goes a long way for me and disruptions to my schedule, even welcome ones like starting a new client contract, can throw me off. I did a decent amount of meal prep, but wasn’t as organized overall as I should have been and so even though I cooked plenty, I didn’t pre-package as I should have. Getting out the door in the morning therefore involved a couple of extra steps, which were all too easy to discard. And now that I’m in a client office all day and coming home later, my willpower to be productive in the evening has been a bit…lacking.  I ended up using over a quarter of my monthly cash allowance on food on the go–definitely one of my Achilles heels.

Therefore this weekend we’re both of us doing some shopping and prep together to do better next week! But first, I’m eating doughnuts following the Womens March in London.

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Sunday
We were naughty and decided to grab Indian takeaway, but in order to justify it, we switched up our normal order to ensure we each got at least three meals each out of our spend, which took care of several dinners this week.
Food: £30.00

Monday
Months ago I signed up for early access to Hamilton tickets, which is opening in London at the end of this year, and buying opened up today. Our show date is months and months away, so there’s no quick emotional payoff, but I managed to score non-nosebleed seats for a fairly reasonable price!
Travel card renewal: £33.00
Hamilton tickets: £115.00
Coffee (cash): £2.75
Quick grocery run (cash): £6.00

Tuesday
Alas for an absent mind and a need for toiletries. We’d made it as long as we could using up our travel sized contact solution bottle, but had run out and so a Boots run was needed.
Coffee (because I left mine at on the counter leaving the house, cash): £2.90
Contact solution and facial cleansing wipes: £14.30

Wednesday
This was the first of a stretch of days where I really failed to get my ducks in a row.
Coffee again (cash): £2.90
Lunch (cash): £9.60

Thursday
I got a better start to the day but had to do another Boots run when we realized we were out of yet more things in the bathroom, like cotton buds.
Boots run for toiletries: £18.50
Lunch: £4.20

Friday
Breakfast (cash): £4.80
Lunch: £4.20
Snack: £.80
Pharmacy shop for, ahem, feminine articles: £3.50
Date night: £23.00

Saturday
Doughnuts to recharge after the Womens March in London: £30.00

Total: £301.25