Weekend Weeks

“They want us to turn on our neighbors and it will never happen.”

It was a rough week here in the UK, as I’m sure international readers may imagine. The company I’m contracting with is tangentially but significantly affected by security changes throughout the world so work was a bit full on this week and London was operating at a heightened state of vigilance. Nothing but praise for first responders and the Manchester community who showed up to support their city, refused to tolerate malicious commentary based on prejudice, and general came together in ways that might have made me tear up a bit. Oh, and humor. The Brits responded with humor.

The American president leaked I mean mentioned in casual conversation the location of nuclear subs, put forward a budget that is (in my opinion) aggressively hostile to poor and disenfranchised citizens whilst potentially seriously ******* with NATO’s ability to function, and quite literally cost a dear friend of my her job–in case you thought it had to pass through Congress before having any effect. He also received the Pope’s treatise on climate change. Boy I hope they included the Cliff Notes.

Meanwhile, I’m happy in the knowledge that human beings are fantastic.

Here are you links for the weekend, kittens, and hope you find some joy in it. Stories and sharing in the comments, please!


Here, have some balm for the soul.

Fellow yanks, let me translate this British for you: they are pissed at us right now.

Not subjected to high levels of editorial scrutiny, huh? You don’t say. (I don’t have time to delve into why this whole conspiracy theory story and the people promoting it are garbage, but there I stand. In case you were wondering.)


Enough with the depression, let’s have some fun for a bit! This bot is doing the lord’s work.

Guy, GUYS! The internet did something good!

Also, GET HYPE. 

Loved this piece in Bazaar. It’s fine, good, and healthy to want a loving partner and committed partnerships–and voicing your support for feminism and feminist causes is NOT a barrier to that. I have a kind of great partner who proves that point. False dichotomies are lazy and unhelpful–and dare I say, tools of the patriarchy. Meanwhile a partner who abuses you, limits your choices, is unwilling to find family-specific and personal compromises on all aspects of home and family life, or is otherwise a jerk to you for having opinions IS a barrier to a healthy, happy, and productive life.

Here’s an instagram feed to make your day more pretty.

This story is altogether too common, but I’m thrilled her account is getting recognized and is being taken seriously.

You decide, ducklings: how important are these pineapple earrings to my happiness?

It’s going to be a summer of TV for me, between Game of Thrones, The Handmaid’s Tale, American Gods, and a list of other pop culture To Dos. But I’m also committed to finishing up my audiobook goal and getting my Goodreads year end report looking impressive.

Album of the week: True Care, by James Vincent McMorrow

Weekend Links: Good. Lord.

“You’re not to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”
― Malcolm X, By Any Means Necessary

Reading the news this week has been one long continuous headdesk. After claiming that Secretary Clinton couldn’t be trusted with classified information, President Trump…simply divulged classified information to an adversarial power. Once again he also threw his entire messaging team under the bus, after they’d gone out of their way to discredit the early claims of the leaked story, by not only confirming that this actually happened, but that he was perfectly within his rights to do so.

Let’s be clear. Of course the president CAN do and say a lot of things, but that doesn’t make it a good idea much less sound policy. I would like to politely posit that had 44 or alt-45 discussed classified information of any kind with a generally-deemed hostile government, some of you reading this would be foaming with fury right now. Add in any of the extracurricular details and I’d fear for some of your blood pressure levels. I’ve written before that I don’t believe many Americans understand how much of our government’s functionality is not codified in law so much as respected through precedent. This is a textbook example of this theory.

Editor’s note: I typed that above bit on Tuesday. By Thursday…look, I tried to summarize, but here:

Then this was Friday. I’m tired, kittens, here are your links. I’m sure we’ll check in with MORE breaking news again before the end of this weekend. Good bleeding lord.

This thread. It is life.

But, here. Have a palate cleanser before we continue.


Interesting editorial on the difference between conservativism and what the author calls “anti-anti-Trumpism,” or the desire to see liberal positions mocked and trolled more than genuinely pushing for conservative political principles in action. I don’t agree with everything here, but I do see enough of this general attitude to take it as anecdotally true. And if we’re all more concerned with poking the “other” in the eye than actually arguing our own cause or beliefs, then we are well and truly ******.

Longbourne is for sale and it has a secret Nazi past.

This is a couple months old but the Attenbourough-inspired take on Fashion Week made me howl.

If the state of our government weren’t at stake, I could feel some sympathy for a seemingly lonely, narcissistic old fool. Unfortunately, he’s the supposed leader of the free world and I have expectations of him.

Fully intend to buy one of these at some point. Specifically this one. (Editors note: totally bought it.)

Let’s go shopping! (h/t Caitlin Kelly)

Damn it, I’ve missed out.

The Dutch king has a secret life, and it’s kind of great.

Album of the week: Compassion, by Forrest Swords

Weekend Links: Trumpster Fire

“Above all, I would teach him to tell the truth. Truth-telling, I have found, is the key to responsible citizenship. The thousands of criminals I have seen in 40 years of law enforcement have had one thing in common: Every single one was a liar.”
– J. Edgar Hoover

The news is shifting hourly at this point but at time of typing, the President of the United States fired the head of the FBI this week–ostensibly for his poor handling of the Clinton email saga but more probably because he refused to pledge personal loyalty to the president and was seeking to continue the investigation into the connections of then-candidate Trump’s election campaign to foreign nationals with an agenda of disrupting/influencing the election.


People were hiding in–excuse me, among–bushes, Ms. Conway reappeared after being lost to the world for several weeks, the memes are writing themselves at this point.

Most recently, the president has tweeted (a phrase I am sick to the teeth of reading much less typing) veiled threats towards the now-former FBI head, sort-of-threatening to to reveal supposed recordings of conversations…that are unlikely to have taken place in the first instance–though watch this space. It it 2017, after all. Meanwhile his own statements of the timeline which lead to his decision to fire Mr. Comey have blatantly contradicted that of his supporting team. Meaning that he’s an idiot or a liar. Again.

Super cool.

Time for independent review and investigation. Like, now.

Here are you links, kittens. Let’s have a robust conversation in the comments, and share anything worth spreading below.

First and foremost, Melissa MacCarthy is hosting SNL tonight. She is READY and I am THRILLED.

I have never seen an episode of this show or any of its spinoffs, I buy none of their hawked products, I do not engage. But this piece on the Kardashians was an interesting read nonetheless.

The dissection of J. Crew’s slide continues, but I’m guilty of still reading the think pieces.

Hold the damn phone, Glossier is making sunscreen now! Behold!


PSA: there is a podcast called Medieval History for Fun and Profit, and its first episode is all about medieval sex. Go forth and enjoy, kittens!

Girl gangs forever.

Beloved childhood book characters, narrated by P.G. Wodehouse. They did everything but slap a “SDS Clickbait” banner across this thing.

This week in Mormon news, the LDS church announced it was ending a century-long partnership with Boy Scouts of America. A very interesting development since the scouting program has effectively functioned as the learning and development organization for boys in the church for years. Girls have their own achievement and goal-based organizations, which don’t have an equivalent level of parity or recognition outside of the church structure. It will be interesting to see what the Church puts in place for young men, another outside organization or an internally created one.

Album of the week: Blond, by Frank Ocean

The Lakes District

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
– William Wordsworth

I’ve been saying it forever, but I mean it: we do not go on enough vacations. Here in the UK, in addition to national holidays, I have about 25 days off a year as part of a typical contract–ditto Jeff. We are piss poor at using them.

We blame American work habits and norms. To this day I cringe whenever I submit a time off request, as if what I’m doing is somehow shameful or looks lazy. Over the past nearly four years that we’ve lived here, we’ve been so bad at taking holidays that Jeff has been able to sell back a few every year to get a bit of extra money…but last year we hit the limit of that and so much of his time off allocations have piled up that we have to either “use it or lose it.”

We are awful at holidays…but we are getting better.

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This shop knows holiday hours!

For the April long Bank Holiday weekend, feeling absolutely stir crazy and needing to get out of the city, I booked us a few days in the Lakes District in Cumbria. Initially I had grand ambitions of trying to organize a quick mini break to Europe, but the onboarding as part of a new short term contract quickly took over most of my life and energy and before I knew it, the Bank Holiday was upon us. Jeff was deep in the bowels of tax season and working 12+ hour days meaning that while he too needed a holiday badly, I needed to plan this one. A quick burst of research and reservation making, et voila!

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The Lakes District has an abundance of natural beauty and has been a popular visiting spot since the Edwardian period. In spite of being an admittedly tourist spot, it remains charming. There is a thriving but tidy local economy that makes getting around the cluster of lakes and villages that makes up the area easy and affordable, and a blend of indoor amenities like shops, B&Bs and restarants to supplement the outdoor nature of the holiday spot. It’s a famous hiking district with peaks and hills for the adventurous/fit, with lots of woodland walking trails for the more moderate/lazy. We took advantage of both the outdoors and food–copious amounts of tea were drunk and more than one excellent meal eaten in between boat rides across Lake Windemere, multi hour hikes along shorelines, walks through the villages where some of Britain’s most famous poets lived and wrote, and general meandering.

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The fresh air, long walks, good food (we ate so much local cheese, guys), and time away from the city. It was exactly what we needed.

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So. Much. Cheese.
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And gingerbread.

In case you are interested, we stayed at Mylne Bridge House which is a charming B&B run by a married couple who serve an absolutely scrumptious breakfast! You’re about five minutes from the high street of Windemere and a half hour leisurely walk from Bowness-on-Windemere on the lake itself. Highly recommended!

Friendships in Adulthood

“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

15 years ago I met a girl in an airport bathroom (a story that I wish I could say was more scandalous than this auspicious beginning implies). We were on our way to a week long political youth conference in DC and New York, along the lines of model U.N. but I maintain cooler, that turned out to be a great time and we stayed in touch afterwards. A decade and a half later, we are still in touch and make time to see each other whenever our travels take us into one another’s orbit. She’s come to London a couple of times in the last three years, including this past weekend, when she arranged a fab dinner party to introduce Jeff and I to two other couples as well as the guy she’s dating. No surprise, we loved them all.

It got me thinking about friendships, specifically friendship in adulthood.

We absconded with her and her gentleman friend for the better part of an entire day during their visit. Much cheese was consumed!

Growing up military brat, there was always a fluid nature to many friendships. Depending on where I lived I was surrounded with and went to school with other brats and, given the nature of the work, it was likely that one of our parents would be shipped across the country or the world in less than two years from the time we met. As a result, I and many brats I know tend to be able to make friends very quickly. We are more likely and able to progress through the phases of friendship quickly–we need to! The emotional intimacy and sustaining fun of friendship is a requirement of life, but we didn’t always have time to spend years and years cultivating relationships. We tended to single out the people we would get along with quickly, join forces quickly, and stay bonded until divided by circumstance.

On the flip side, when a friendship was broken up by a government directed move, it was often the case that it simply came to a successful end and didn’t continue. There has been an uptick in thinking and writing in recent years about “friendship breakups” but I’ve not really experienced this phenomenon in a negative way. Most of the friendships I’ve had that ended came to a natural and organic close as a chapter in life (shorter than most civilians due to the nature of our parents work) ended. I grew up partially before the internet and finished university before mobile phones became the pocket sized universes of information they are now, so this undoubtedly contributed to friendships winding down too. In an age of Whatsapp I imagine things are different now; they certainly are for my siblings–my 11 years younger than me sister seems to be operating in a totally different world than I did. I dread to think of the disconnect if Jeff and I have kids!

I don’t want to suggest that I grew up with a “disposable” attitude towards people, because that’s not accurate. But I am used to the idea that not all relationships are supposed to be or need to be permanent. Sometimes you need certain people at certain times (and vice versa), the need ends, and you both move on positively.

In adulthood, however, without the crucible of adolescence, school, sports teams, or other social tools made to get people together into groups, I don’t find as many opportunities to forge new friendships. I’ve stumbled into a few incredibly rewarding ones through blogging (hi, Caitlin!), work, and travel, but it’s a rarer thing now. It takes more work and effort than it did in a Department of Defense high school scene, and of course these days I have a partner, a full time job, errands to run. So do they! Adulthood is busy, and it can be hard to find the time to grown and nurture new friendships. On the plus side there are now more tools than ever to stay in touch with the people I already have in my life–it’s a rare week that doesn’t include a transatlantic call of some type. In my childhood, that would have been an expensive and complicated thing, these days it’s the touch of a button.

Alternatively, I have a handful of friends that I made years ago that were and remain the vital relationships of my life. My two best friends I made in middle school and, scattered as we are, I plan on them being in my Girl Squad until the day I die. One has asked me to be the executor of her will, she’s also been slated as godmother to any hypothetical children since before Jeff and I got married–before you ask, he’s 100% onboard. He refers to X. as his sister-in-law because he knows she is family to me and has been since I was 12 years old. Katarina is my other squad captain. We are the guardians of one another’s secrets, mutual cheerleaders, and constructive critics. We’ve been reading each others’ writing for the better part of two decades and one of the proudest friend moments of my life was being asked to be a first reader of the manuscript that landed her an agent. I am a ridiculously fortunate woman.

But I still appreciate the opportunity to meet new people and check in with pals who may only flit in and out of my city once every few years. We may not talk every day or even every month, but we bonded for a reason and can find a lot of joy in circling back to one another.


Weekend Links: Live and Let Tutu

“In science it often happens that scientists say, ‘You know that’s a really good argument; my position is mistaken,’ and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn’t happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.”
― Carl Sagan

This week, the president wondered aloud why we couldn’t have “worked things out” and avoided the American Civil War (slavery, dude. Other satellite issues, yes, but almost entirely slavery). Then Republicans, after years saying that Obamacare was passed too hastily and without proper review–passed a new health care bill in under an hour of debate, without hearings, without a CBO score, which most experts and professionals (including the vast majority of the medical field) don’t support. K. Bette Davis acts out my feelings for us.

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Here are your links, kittens, because good stuff happened and needs to be shouted out too.

The literal meaning behind the names of US states.

Get busy reading or get busy dying! h/t to the always superb and hilarious Planes, Trains, and Plantagenets 

Print is not dead, peeps.

This uptick started when I was working at a police department in the US myself and was being monitored as a threat. I find it terrifying and, in my opinion, baffling to see organizations like this effectively create what they purport to be defending against: rogue teams who pick and choose which laws they think should apply to them, act (or at least plot) wildly outside or against governments, and believe that violence is an acceptable way to achieve their political and social aims. We have a word for this: terrorists.

Humans of Wyoming, you beautiful bastards came through in spades! Props to the supporting humans of the internet. Toxic masculinity needs to go.

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Childbirth is still dangerous, but people are doing great things to make it less so.

Good lord. The scary part is I can completely recognize so many of the impulses and urges here (I’ve given in to myself more than once), and I can see where this trend and problem is coming from. Separately, I love it when Racked does longform.

The Oatmeal knocks it out of the park again.

Stand down, citizens.

The kids are alright.

Album of the week: What Now, by Sylvan Esso


Five Things I Loved in April

“We don’t need to have just one favorite. We keep adding favorites.”
― Lloyd Alexander

Samurai Jack, Season 5. This is one of my favorite cartoons of all time, and a wonderfully stylish one at that. The series went off the air several years ago, but the creators have revived it and injected some new life into the series while still remaining very faithful to the aesthetic and style of their original series. I’m loving it. The network punked viewers on April 1 by dropping a new episode of Rick and Morty instead of the anticipated Jack episode, for which I magnanimously forgive the creators as I love Dan Harmon’s wacky romp through cosmic nihilism deeply, but I’ve been eating all the other episodes up with a spoon.

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It Cosmetics CC Cream. I’ve been road testing this formula all month and I’ve been highly impressed with the coverage and the fact that it lasts on my face all day where many foundations wear off (particularly around my jawline). It doesn’t have as wide color a range as any modern line should, but in terms of payoff, it’s beats far more expensive products I’ve tried.

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Agatha Christie’s Poirot. Hardly a new favorite, but I’ve been rewatching old episodes this month and reliving the genius that is David Suchet. Sometimes it can be a real pleasure to rediscover and indulge in trusted pop culture stand bys.

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Bite Prismatic Pearl Creme Lip Gloss. I picked up these this past month and while I could wear them as casual toppers on more temperate lipstick shades, I confess that I prefer to wear them at the weekends in full metallic force. Inspiration: Mad Max.

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The Ordinary by Deciem. I’m currently testing this current media darling of a skincare brand and I have to say, I get some of the hype! I want to finish my full test period before reviewing all the products I picked up (most of them for under £10 each), but thus far I have some very good things to say. Deciem also recently announced a serum-style foundation that immediately incurred a massive waitlist so it will be a while before I can test that myself, but I fully intent to. A brick and mortar store appears to be coming to the Covent Garden area in the near future as well, so keep an eye out for more talk about this brand in the future from me.

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