Tag: Humor

Favorites, Humor

Five Things I Loved in November

“The house was very quiet, and the fog—we are in November now—pressed against the windows like an excluded ghost.” 
― E.M. Forster, Howards End

What a month, darlings. My life has been consumed with work again, but mostly pleasantly, I’m happy to say. I’ve been incredibly busy, but I am enjoying the work a great deal. But goodness, that means this month has gone by fast! We’re looking down the barrel of a two week holiday to the States to see family and I feel woefully unprepared for it in every way. The first half of December is going to be spent frantically preparing for the second half which will be spent frantically trying to cram in as many visits as possible before frantically trying to get back home in time for the new year. The holidays may be my favorite time of year but they are far from restful!

And with all that said, here are the things that have kept me going this month.

Christmas shopping

I LOVE Christmas shopping. I love finding the perfect presents for people, wrapping them, the process of gifting them. I may be behind on my holiday shopping for friends and family, but I am throwing myself into it with gusto now that Jeff’s birthday and Thanksgiving are behind us.

 

Netflix comedy specials

Netflix has picked up the mantle of Comedy Central, and I for one am loving it. As the news had felt progressively worse and worse over the past two years, I’ve been turning to comedy and lighthearted media more than ever. Yes I may have mainlined Sharp Objects, but I also never miss an episode of The Good Place and evangelize hard for media that injects kindness, thoughtfulness, humor, and levity into the world. This month I enjoyed a bunch of stand up specials, especially ones by Trevor Noah (recommended by Jeff) and was reminded of the vital and delightful role wit and satire should play in our lives. Comedy specials also fit my life right now, when I don’t have the time or attention to really enjoy a series the way I want to, but probably have an hour or two to spare here and there. If you’ve been enjoying, share your recommendations to me in the comments! I’ve been enjoying specials by Trevor Noah, Hasan Minhaj, Donald Glover, Allie Wong…huh. While I in no way intended this to be lacking in white dudes, that is definitely an unexpected bonus.

 

My new precious…

LK Bennett boucle jacket

This was a hell of a second hand find this month! Long on my list of items to buy was a boxy style, boucle tweed jacket–the nearer to Chanel the better. I found one at a beloved designer consignment store and, as I had in-store credit to use, the new with tags jacket that retails over £300 cost me just £28. I felt no shame breaking my no buy for this one at all. It’s a beautiful piece of clothing and if I take good care of it, it should last me for years and years to come.

 

Mac lipstick in Chili

I’ve favorited this item before but I have a goal to use up the bullet before the end of the year and have been wearing it most days in aid of that–with only the rare flirtations with darker, berry tones in honor of the season. This warm, brownish red is absolutely perfect for the fall and someday I will absolutely buy this shade again. However, I first have to get through the other items in my collection. In the meantime, it is only right and proper to salute those who have done good service in the lipstick wars!

 

Lip balm

Tis the season to moisturize everything. I used up two two tubes this month, not start to finish but it’s still a notable consumption pattern for me. One was the Glossier balmdotcom in coconut, which may be the first coconut scented or flavored item I’ve ever not actively hated. While this stuff is basically glorified Vaseline, it gets the job done in the season of wind chap. The other was DHC Lip Cream, which bears the strange honor of being the fastest I’ve ever used up in my life while I’m still not sure I like it. X. recommended it to me and because it came in a two pack, I’m going to continue to use it and see if my opinion on it forms more fully. Meanwhile, the comments are open to your best balm recommendations. Help a girl winterize her face!

Humor

Little Pleasures

“I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.” 
― Oscar Wilde

After two weeks of heightened stress at work and needing to be on high alert for days at a time, I’m hoping for a slower and more sustainable few days. We had a delightful weekend celebrating Jeff’s birthday and in the midst of a truly great meal, I got to thinking about “everyday pleasures” that help ground me.

While I can’t say that Michelin star rated restaurants are a reasonable thing to add to your regime of self care (I wish. I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt that as relaxed as I did in the cab ride home–sated doesn’t begin to cover it), there are a lot of small things that produce an immediate hit of dopamine in my system. A short list includes, but is not limited to…

Clean sheets

Fresh contact lenses

Coffee in bed on the weekend

Calls with friends. A weekly necessity.

Buying fresh flowers or greenery for the house

Soup in cold weather

Begin legitimately able to light holiday scented candles

When a book on your waitlist becomes available at the library

Baths

Watching Jane Austen film adaptations while folding laundry

Snagging the front seat on a double decker London bus

Reading a magazine start to finish in one sitting

A good hair day

Date night with my husband, whether at said Michelin star restaurant, or on the couch with Netflix

 

What are the small things that recharge you?

 

Humor, Links, News, Politics, Pop Culture

Weekend Links

“But there is always a November space after the leaves have fallen when she felt it was almost indecent to intrude on the woods…for their glory terrestrial had departed and their glory celestial of spirit and purity and whiteness had not yet come upon them.” 
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Windy Poplars

Happy weekend, ducklings, we made it through another week.

This week was bonkers in the world of work as I’ve had to work on some of the most high-profile stuff I’ve ever done that wasn’t consumer facing…I loved it. It was stressful and fast-paced, but I enjoyed the opportunity a lot. Now, however, all I want to do is sleep and stave off the migraine attack that’s threatening to strike after a week of all too much coffee and not enough healthy food.

Jeff’s birthday was this week so we’re celebrating that this weekend, and starting to plan for the holidays which kick off next week with Thanksgiving. I cannot believe how quickly November is rushing by.

Here is a nice batch of links to get you through the weekend, share what you enjoyed in the comments!

Relevant to my…well, not interests so much as poor habits.

Answering a political question I have never thought to ask: what happens to all that campaign merch?!

I really loved this piece about charm–a highly underrated thing in this day and age.

This piece is a couple of weeks old, but is still worth a read. What does it say that some of the leading tech and platform developers work hard to limit their own children’s access to the things they helped to build?

Move fast and break democracy. (I am the millionth person to make this joke, by the way.) Joking aside, I think we’ve proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Facebook may not be an evil organisation, but it’s far too powerful for what it is and it’s a mistake to not consider its lasting implications and impact which have had a global scale. No organization is blameless or perfect, but why does a company this ubiquitous, rich and powerful keep getting to screw up on the scale it does without consequences?

Surprising literally no one at this point.

What a wild ride!

Big headline, great profile.

Alex Trebrek is a figure of my childhood and I loved this profile piece.

An interesting piece at Politico about how Republican gerrymandering works…for a party system that no longer exists in the post-2016 world. For better or worse they have a new party leader who has promised new policies and commitments that no Republican would have espoused a decade ago. 2018 has shown how that may cost them future elected positions.

This week in Mormon News, a podcast recommendation and a bit of background reading from the incomparable C. Jane Kendrick. A link to the episode of This American Life in question can be found in her post. She sums up many of my feminist struggles with a patriarchal faith masterfully, “My problem is with the system…it is the power dynamics that I refuse. I refuse men in power and authority over women. I don’t care where it comes from. I refuse it… I believe you could put in a thousand checks to this system, you could go and sit with your child through every interview, you could teach your daughters to be the most feminist, but this system–designed to cultivate absolute obedience–will always seep in.”

This piece by The Cut feels like a good follow up to that. It’s hard, but necessary to read.

Also relevant, this piece by Monica Lewinsky for Vanity Fair. “If you want to know what power looks like, watch a man safely, even smugly, do interviews for decades, without ever worrying whether he will be asked the questions he doesn’t want to answer.”

PUNK’D.

This week in misogynistic nonsense…

Lady Washington is all, “Who the **** is Carol, George?!” But seriously, this thread is amazing.

Copy/paste will kill us all.

Yeah…this feels correct…

It’s the Lester Holt/James Comey thing all over again. Nothing is new and neither is the lack of robust response.

A sad week for pop culture with two losses: Stan Lee and William Goldman.

Brexit. What a shit show.

Speaks for itself:

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Humor, Money, Shopping, Style

This is the Year I Bought Jewelry

“Big girls need big diamonds.” 
― Elizabeth Taylor

Let’s talk about jewelry, because this is something I thought about this past year. I don’t own a lot. My father gave me a set of pearls for my 16th birthday, and my mother gave me a peridot set for a birthday as well. My wedding jewelry is hands down the nicest jewelry I own; Jeff bought my engagement and wedding rings, and I purchased some earrings myself–which hilariously, I forgot to put in for a good portion of the day. That’s because I’ve never actually been a big jewelry wearer!

Some women are good at accessories, I am not. I often feel very unsure or awkward about wearing them, even though I know objectively that individual items are incredibly stylish or cute. It’s when I try to put them on myself that this becomes an issue! However I’ve become convinced that this is mostly a confidence problem and just because I’m not used to seeing a lot of accessories on myself in the mirror doesn’t mean I look bad in them. Ditto jewelry, whether nice or costume.

So, this was the year I decided to try and figure it out. Similar to my closet, I’ve done several rounds of edits and have ended up donating a lot of my cheap costume jewelry over the past year to really reduce the amount of unused, unloved stuff that was taking up space in my jewelry box, and then I got thoughtful and intentional about the gaps that I saw remaining when it came to my professional or day-to-day style. I’ve bought seven items in total this past year, here’s what they were:

Cheap and cheerful

Over the years I’ve either purchased or received some semi-precious items, but most of what I owned was costume jewelry. This is the year that I cleared out some cheap and fairly crappy items, and sold better quality pieces that I never wore and didn’t suit my style. As a result, what I still own I use more regularly and looks nicer, even if it’s super cheap! I bought a couple of rings for about a £1.50 each, and a silver collar style necklace for about £10 at an antiques market. Antiques shops, markets, and vintage shopping are fantastic ways to get unique items at decent prices. I also bought a pair of chunky gold hoops for a couple of pounds which were very on trend for this past year.

 

Mid-range (for me at least)

One of my 101 in 1001 goals was to buy a right hand ring, which always felt to me like an achievement for a grown woman. I treasure and value every single item I’ve been gifted over the years and the love and affection that they symbolize–I fully intend to gift them in turn to children, friends, or relatives someday in return–but the idea of buying a piece for myself that I had picked out and chosen for myself felt like a good goal to work for. I knew I wanted an antique piece (of course) because it would enable to me to find something that felt unique and not mass produced, and also because there are certain styles I know I love, and because savvy antique shopping can get you good value for money. I’ve been looking for the right ring for a long time and knew I wasn’t going to buy anything that didn’t hit the sweet spot of style and price. I found it at the Bermondsey Antiques Fair and I’m thrilled.

I beatiful bought these vintage pearl earrings which I shouted out in my April favorites and adore.

I also bought a delicate gold chain from a Canada based brand that I love and that does very simple jewelry across price points. It’s so slight that it’s easy to miss, but that’s exactly why I wanted it. It’s hand hammered so the links catch and reflect the light very subtly and helps make even the laziest outfit look a bit more intentional. I also got it in a shorter length so it sits higher around my neck that most chains and therefore allows me to layer it with other pieces–when I can be bothered!

None of these items are what I would call “expensive,” but they took thought and planning that I simply didn’t need for something like a £1.50 ring. In these cases, I used my personal cash budget to pay for them.

 

 

Investment

This was the year I bought a piece of jewelry that cost over £100–but as it was a sort of partial birthday, partial Christmas, and partial career celebration gift, I felt I could justify it. Also, like unto my ring, it was an item that I wanted to buy for myself. I’d long wanted a chunky, gold necklace of some kind and wanted it to feel special or unique in some way. A super vague brief! However, when I discovered this second hand and vintage designer costume jewelry seller, I started stalking her social media and shop extensively until I found the necklace I knew I wanted to get. It’s a costume piece by Chanel from the 1980s and I love it. It’s just a bit too much but I’ve wear it almost every day since buying it and whether it’s a formal work outfit or a t-shirt, it seems to work with almost everything. Another benefit of buying second hand is the ability to work with sellers. In the case of my ring, I haggled and bargained and in the case of my necklace, I agreed a payment plan to spread the costs out over a long period of time. This didn’t make the item less expensive, obviously, but it allowed me to build it into my personal monthly budget plan in a sensible way.

Et voila. That’s how this became the year that I started buying (and wearing!) jewelry properly. I’m absolutely tickled about every single item, none of them were casual purchases (not even the market rings) and all of them feel good. By which I mean, they feel like things that fit my life and style. Some of it’s cheap, some of it’s more expensive. Some of it’s sleek and modern, some of it is a bit over the top. That feels about right.

A lot of what I’ve gotten rid of and pared back over the past two years have been items purchased when I was still figuring out who I was going to be, how that person was going to dress, or even what that person actually liked (as opposed to what she felt like she should like). Similar to my closet, I own fewer pieces overall than I used to, but I actually wear almost every piece of jewelry I do own regularly (some of them every day).

I don’t intend to buy any jewelry for myself in the coming year, I’m happy with what I’ve got…even if I’m not above asking for a nice ten year wedding anniversary present!

Have you ever bought yourself jewelry? How did you select it? What’s the most meaningful piece you own? What about the cheapest? Let’s talk bling in the comments, whether gems or rhinestones!

 

Humor, Links, News, Politics, Pop Culture, Weekend

Weekend Links: 100 Years

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
– In Flanders Fields, John McCrae

Happy Saturday, kittens! What a week this has been…the midterms, the après midterms, the long anticipated catapulting of Mr. Sessions from the ranks of the Trump cabinet–which is not an uniformly good thing, shockingly. Another mass shooting in the US, another flurry of Brexit shenanigans in the UK. It’s all quite a lot to take in and the news that Notorious RGB broke a rib literally caused me to clutch mine in fear.

We are commemorating the centennial of the Armistice in WWI tomorrow, which is a much bigger deal and more solemn occasion here in Europe than in the States; here the scars of the war are still present on the landscape. Britain has been filled with events, exhibitions, memorials, art, commentary, and remembrance services for a year in the lead up to this Remembrance Sunday, which have been deeply moving.

In other words, the world is filled with highminded thoughts and low brow dark humor, as always. And so, I’m bringing you a links post with a nice mix of important and decidedly lighthearted pickings from around the internet this past week to help you thrill with triumph at humanity, or steel yourself to contend against its darker impulses. Whichever you need this weekend.

Through a glass (or the 18th century) darkly.

Hot damn, this stuff makes me happy!

It’s absurd how expensive this dress is…and how much I’m drooling over it!

This piece at The Atlantic, about the economy of human attention, how we spend ours and how it gets hijacked, was an interesting read.

No shit, Sherlock.

This story is everything I love: Tudor history, gore, historic items discovered in attics–it’s perfect.

Shock. Surprise. Whomever could have guessed. /sarcasm

Whoa, slow down, news!

Obviously.

Consent is sexy! 

This was quite an endeavor…and a recap….

One of my favorite up and coming artists gave a beautiful performance on SNL last week if you are so inclined.

What a wild ride of a tale!

We still have not forgotten the Blake Shelton fiasco, People, but this will do nicely to rectifying your shameful lapse.

That’s one hell of a mis-sent invite, trolls. But thanks!

Meditating on this piece this week.

Let me sing you the song of my people.

About that horrific mass shooting, you’d never guess that mental illness and sexism played a role, huh? Just kidding. Also, more horrifically, it transpires that among the survivors are individuals who also survived the Las Vegas mass shooting earlier this year.

We need to talk bout the overabundance of neutrals in the ethical fashion space. My kingdom for a jewel tone…

EVERYONE ELSE WRITING TWEETS AND HEADLINES CAN GO HOME.

Join me in fangirling over Gillian Flynn some more. Rage, complex femininity, difficult characters…this profile has everything. This is relevant mostly because Katarina and I had a fab conversation about authors adapting their work for the screen and we both talked about how much we liked her work in all its iterations.

This one made me laugh aloud. Brilliant!

Scatological American history.

The only post-election reading I heartily recommend.

Consumerism, Goals, Humor, Money

Overcoming the Sunk Cost Fallacy

“All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.” 
― Noam Chomsky

This year I have thrown away or donated literally hundreds of dollars worth of stuff. Wherever possible I have given away and donated things that I don’t want or don’t use. My little sister has benefited from the regular reorganization of my bathroom shelves and closet. I’ve given unloved items to coworkers and friends, and my preferred charity shops have received several drop offs. But stuff has also ended up in the trash where I couldn’t reasonably or ethically unload it.

I sort of cringe to type that, but it’s the truth and I’m continuing to try and be radically transparent about my money choices. Hi, I’m C. and I have (metaphorically) tossed money in the garbage in 2018.

In thinking about what I’ve gotten rid of in the last year in a bit of depth, I realized how much of being able to reduce my possessions and luxuries to a more reasonable level has come from a breakthrough about a concept that is well established in the economics world and drives a surprising amount of consumerism in my opinion. Let me explain…

The Sunk Cost Fallacy

The Sunk Cost Fallacy is an economic and business concept which can be explained in a lot of very complex and intelligent ways but can be boiled down pretty simply: a sunk cost is money that you have either spent or lost and that there is no way to get back. The fallacy part happens when human biology and psychology kicks in. There is some pretty good scientific reporting out there about how, as a species, we are designed to try and maximize our investment of time, energy, or resources. Unfortunately, there is also good scientific reporting to show that we can also be pretty dumb about calculating our return on this investment. Where we have spent time, energy, or resources on a thing, the more we have put into that thing, the less likely we are of being able to walk away from it, even if the results are bad.

Businesses fall prey to this, and so do people. If you’ve ever stayed in a movie theatre watching a film you hated, if you have ever extended a relationship of any kind even as it turned toxic, if you have ever continued to throw money at an idea or business even as the likelihood of your success shrinks, if you have ever kept eating a meal after you are full simply because you’ve paid for it, you have fallen into the SCF. Obviously these things are not at all on the same scale as one another, but the principle is the same.

Once you awaken to the SCF, I mean really awaken to it and its effects in your life rather than just being aware of it as a concept, you start seeing it everywhere. Learning to realize and accept my own SCF thinking when it comes to my spending has been a process for me over the past couple of years. A small, irrational part of me used to try to justify my bad money choices–which I think is a fairly common experience. If I hold on to this item, I may use it some day. It may fit. I may like it more. It may be useful.

I’m facing up to this because, speaking only for my own case, this has been categorically bullshit.

A makeup or skincare item that breaks you out or you hate the look of on your face is no less expensive or more valuable for sitting on your shelves for months because you refuse to either re-home it or throw it away.

A piece of clothing that you never wear or lingers in the closet (possibly with the tags on) did not cost you less because you are holding on it.

An item that doesn’t function the way you need it to will not function better for taking up space in your drawer, and you probably will not use it more over time.

When you buy something, in almost every single case, the damage has been done. The cost of labor, construction, and transportation has already been incurred. Your wallet has taken the hit. And unless you come to your senses and return the item quickly, you are not getting your money back. This is why certain items have ended up in the donation pile or in the bin this past year. I had done the financial damage, the choice was not the best one, and I had to find an intelligent way forward.

Managing your bad money choices.

So, how have I coped with this uncomfortable tally in the past year? A few ways.

I put myself on certain restrictions, and documented them publicly to keep myself honest. I didn’t quite meet my goals, but by writing and talking about them, I am convinced I mitigated damage. Did I spend money on makeup this year, even though I had a goal not to? Yes. Would I have spent more without my goals? Almost assuredly yes. Did I buy more than 18 personal items this year? Yes. Would I have bought more without the mental check of knowing I was making myself publicly accountable for them? Definitely. All told, I spent less than 4% of our disposable income on personal shopping this year and I feel good about, even though in terms of sheer numbers I know I could have used that money better.

I made a little extra money by reselling some items. Did I recoup all money I spent in the first instance? No, but I did get some cash back by reselling items through trusted consignment dealers and listing them online, and I cleared out space in my closet as a result.

Where I couldn’t sell, I donated plenty of items to shops where 100% of the proceeds go to charity. Does it make up for money spent or environmental production costs? Nope. Did it help make anything even a tiny bit better in the world? I like to think so.

I did (actually) practice some delayed gratification. I would like a much more “finished” and decorated home than we have, but I decided to be okay with our fairly spare furniture and blank walls for a while longer. We bought some art for our home for our anniversary this past year and one of my 2019 projects will be spending money on getting things framed. I bought one piece for the front room and I’d like to buy one or two furniture pieces next year if I’m happy with our financial progress as well, but I’m going to play it by ear.

So, what can I take away from a year of trying to be more honest and intentional about what I buy?

 

The only cure for poor spending choices is the discipline of good ones.

That means making budgets and sticking to it.

That means planning your purchases in advance, with thought and intention, and not giving into impulses. Food, travel, clothes, random shit…it all matters.

That means building a wardrobe slowly, intentionally, and thoughtfully.

That means delayed gratification in saving up for big ticket items for your self, home, or family rather than slapping down a credit card.

None of this is groundbreaking or radical stuff, but it is important to reiterate until it becomes gospel to you.

Humor, Links, News, Politics, Pop Culture

Weekend Links: VOTE
“Despotism, which in its nature is fearful, sees the most certain guarantee of its own duration in the isolation of men, and it ordinarily puts all its care into isolating them. There is no vice in the human heart that agrees with it as much as selfishness: a despot readily pardons the governed for not loving him, provided they do not love each other. He does not ask them to aid him in leading the state; it is enough that they do not aspire to direct it themselves. He calls those who aspire to unite their efforts to create common prosperity turbulent and restive spirits, and changing the natural sense of words, he names those who confine themselves narrowly to themselves good citizens.” – Alexis de Tocqueville The US midterms elections are next week and the news is appropriately…hectic. Oprah’s out knocking doors, and Trump is releasing racist ads and whipping up fear over a group of refugees over a thousand miles away. I have appreciated the viral moment from the gubernatorial debate between Mr. DeSantis and Mr. Gillum because I think it encapsulates a much bigger debate, and one I wish we would stop having. Much ink has been been spilled as to whether one person or political or another is racist. I think it is more useful to look at the company they keep. I care less than I used to whether Mr. Trump is personally racist or antisemitic. I know that self-avowed racists and antisemites think he is, or at least will protect them. I vote accordingly. If you’re a US citizen, make sure to cast your ballot this week. If there is one good thing coming out of this administration, it’s heightened engagement in our collective government. Last weekend capped a week of bigoted crimes and violence with an act of horrific antisemitism that took my breath away. Like anti-black racism, I was among the comfortable and stupid who assumed this particular bigotry was on the decline. I have been heartsick and ashamed to realize the shallowness and depths of that ignorance, and to watch it surge back into the mainstream. I do not hold Mr. Trump personally responsible for the acts of other people. I do hold him responsible for elevating nationalism, conspiracy thinking, and bigotry to as “acceptable” by either disregarding or failing to understand the importance of his office. He has deliberately normalized, cheered, and even politically accepted benefit from what it is his duty to denounce and hold at bay. I could extrapolate this to a lot of other party leaders as well who may not hold these views themselves, but are perfectly willing to capitalize on people who do. Too many people have winked or ignored what should not be ignored. Conspiracy theories are not harmless, words have consequences. He’s awful. I’m sorry, but he is. This seems like a good week to recall our first president’s words on and to the Jewish community in our newly formed republic. AGAIN. WORDS MEAN THINGS. I had a kneejerk reaction to this news, but I’m comforted by the knowledge that the actual Constitution cannot be amended by tweet or executive order. I think. Who knows any more. People are trash. (The internet being what it is, quite a lot of information started coming out from the person who really instigated the rumor mongering in the first instance. Mostly that he’s bad at faking stuff.) Surprise surprise, more trash people are potentially involved. Here’s a good summary of this bonkers news piece. An evergreen question: are they (all of the people in this orbit) bad geniuses or just lying, dumb, and lucky? Okay, let’s have a palate cleanser from the political news with this trailer which did not make me tear up in the slightest, no sir. One of the most important-to-me artists and albums. Cliche, maybe, but still true. This is too accurate… Summarizing our current political and cultural world through the lens of Kanye West, professional wrestling, and YouTube drama. Seriously. This piece at Politco offers some cold consolation: many celebrities of alt-right have not been able to ride the coattails of that popularity to true power and many are disillusioned with a president they once championed. These self-aggrandizing (mostly) men have inflamed some of the worst of our nation’s impulses and bigotries and enshrined malignant chauvinism and narcissism as the dominant force in our government…but sorry you lost your book deal! (/sarcasm) Oh, Venice! …This is…a headline… Whoops. A longer piece on exactly how we got…here (waves hands at world in general). Relevant to my London interests! Simone Biles is a badass. An evergreen statement, really, but doubly true this week. This headline! From the FT: we’ve got a waste crisis and we’re out of ways to hide from it or try to make it someone else’s problem. GIRL GANG GOOD NEWS MINUTE: https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Goals, Humor, Money

October Accountability

“Unshined shoes are the end of civilization.”
– Diana Vreeland

It’s that time again, time for some radical accountability in exchange for my beloved cabinet purchase of earlier this year.

It was a good money month. We negotiated with our landlord for reduced rent whilst we deal with the gaping hole in our ceiling, but even before that we met our goal of keeping several hundred additional pounds in the bank for savings and debt payments. We’ve cut way back on discretionary spending on food, and I’ve been mindful about packing and taking lunches to work most days. When I don’t, I’ve switched up my habits and have been spending my cash budget on healthy options at a grocery store rather than a more expensive option. Small habit changes, bit results in our monthly cashflow!

My sanctioned purchases this month were replacement underwear and athletic shoes–acceptable and necessary given that I’d literally worn their predecessors to shreds. Unsexy but true.

I did have a naughty moment and pick up a blazer this month, kittens, but I don’t feel bad about it. A navy blazer was on my shopping list for 2019, and I found a beautiful vintage Aquascutum wool one in a vintage pop up for £45 which is a bargain (literally a tenth of the price I would end up paying for a current season jacket). I also had to replace another pair of work heels this month as I lost another set to the cobblestones of London and the heels were more torn up than a cobbler could deal with. I am not beating myself up about this too much either, as being well-shod is a requirement in this city. Finally I had a gift card that allowed me to pick up a pair of trousers which might be bending the letter of the law, but does not break it. Ha!

And other than that, nada! I had to replace some beauty and hygiene items but I did that with drugstore equivalents and have discovered some major gems. My next empties blog post is going to be a doozy as I’m blazing my way through products lately and slowly finding a few cheaper alternatives to more expensive items, and in some cases verifying that some things really are worth the money. Alas, however, that I cannot replace a few major makeup items until I’ve also used up their like-for-like equivalents already in my stash.

Tell me of your own small victories this past month in the comments, kittens!

Beauty, Favorites, Goals, Humor, Links, Pop Culture, Style

Five Things I Loved in October

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” 
― L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Happy Halloween!

Another month has flown by and 2019 is barreling down on us fast, my piglets! The weather has turned cold recently so I’m adding extra layers to (my side of) the bed, pulling the jumpers out of storage, and suddenly gripped with the all-consuming desire to make soup for two meals a day. This is the best time of year.

That being said, it’s been a rough month for a lot of people I know and the world in general so I wasn’t surprised that in tallying up the things that brought me joy in October, items or pop culture that soothed and comforted kept cropping up. As the winter holidays creep closer with all their attendant joys and stresses, take a moment to do something comforting. It’s good for resilience and good for the soul.

Tell me what you’ve been drawn to this month in the comments!

Salt Fat Acid Heat, on Netflix

Another month, another love affair with a smart food show. In a oversaturated market, Netflix still manages to make some really delightful programming and I continue to eat it up with a spoon–pun intended. The host of Salt Fat Acid Heat, writer and cook Samin Nosrat, takes so much JOY in food and it’s wonderful to watch and participate in that joy with her. I now want to run out and buy her cookbook simply to make some of her recipes while rewatching this show…that’s how much I liked it. (Also, shout out to Tom and Lorenzo for this observation which is 100% correct!)

 

Leather jacket, by & Other Stories

A confession, I got my leather moto style jacket from & Other Stories at least three years ago and loved it, but was so intimidated by it as a piece of clothing that I rarely wore it. I honestly didn’t feel “cool” enough to wear it, such is the power of psychology of fashion and clothing. But over the past couple of years, as I’ve learned not only accept but lean into the styles and clothing I like and not act as though I had to meet some sort of achievement (be it thin-ness, grown up-ness, or wealthiness) to wear them, I have become so much happier. And a result, probably more stylish. I have been wearing the heck out of this leather jacket this year and loving it more and more every time I do. I will be a bit sad when I have to set it aside for a proper winter coat, but at the moment, the weather continues to be perfect for jackets and I continue to be a happy bunny about this fact.

 

Botanics Organic Hydrating Eye Cream

In my quest to discover drugstore or cheaper equivalents to higher end products, I’ve picked up a few bits and pieces from trusty Boots this past month including this eye cream. It’s been a joy. The weather turned chilly this past month and during the colder months my skin requires an extra boost of hydration and I’ve already been layering up additional moisturizing products. Eye cream is a product that incites a lot of feelings in the beauty world, some people swear by it and others consider it so much wasted money. Me personally, I feel that an extra layer of moisture in that area is beneficial and this is a delightful, lightweight cream that absorbs quickly without feeling greasy or disrupting other skincare or makeup items. Highly recommended!

 

 

Chillhop, YouTube

This is such a strange one but work this month has been very busy with a lot of curveballs through I’ve had huge stretches of time where I’ve been in a situation where I needed to do a lot of writing in very loud, crowded, and busy spaces. I needed unfussy, mellow, and pleasant background noise. Jeff has teased me about it all month but this channel has been a lifesaver! There are a million and a half channels like this but so far Chillhop is my favorite, which you can also find on Spotify.

 

Luminous Silk Foundation, by Giorgio Armani

A proper update in my 13 by Halloween challenge is coming shortly, but as a preview–yes! I did finish this foundation to the last drop! What a gorgeous product it is too, I do not remember the last foundation that I finished before it went off, caused skin issues, or was otherwise aggravating. This was (yet another spot on) recommendation from X. who has yet to lead me astray in such matters. The only reason I have not repurchased it is because it is 1) expensive as hell and, 2) I have another foundation I intend to use up before pushing the boat out on another. Per my shopping restrictions I am going to try and find a temporary replacement in the drugstore, but if I give myself any outs at all when it comes to my ban it may be for something as foundational as…well… you get it. That day is a long way off, so in the meantime let me salute a bottle that’s done good service in the wars and which I can heartily recommend for a variety of facial textures and tones.

Health, Humor

How I Cope With My Brain

“Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it—just as we have learned to live with storms.” 
― Paulo Coelho, Manuscrito encontrado em Accra

Yesterday I jotted down some words about my own experience with anxious episodes, today I thought it was worth summarizing the best ways I’ve learned to cope with downturns in my mental health–thankfully non-chronic but still more plentiful than I would wish.

So here is a short list of stuff that I, a completely unqualified non-professional, have found to manage my own brain:

Reading. Whether it’s fiction, nonfiction, or news, reading forces me out of my own head. It’s my experience that good books or journalism silence the id and compel you to hear or view a perspective or narrative not your own. Anxiety and depression (in my personal observation and experience with those whom I love and have seen go through their own battles) narrows the perspective and sensations to the self, usually in painful or harmful ways. When I’m anxious, I cannot escape the vortex of my own thoughts, often circling my sense of self. I find this boring and indulgent. Books are a brilliant antidote.

Exercise. Damn it.

Therapy. A qualified therapist can help identify the things or experiences that trigger or exacerbate mental health challenges, and teach you coping mechanisms for getting through them.

Identifying and safe guarding alone time. Wither it’s an opportunity to work quietly, meditate, take a walk, or just not have the obligation of responding to inputs from society and other people, being alone for designated periods can be deeply healing. I didn’t always appreciate this but do more and more the older I get.

On the flip side, making plenty of time for fun with other people. Too much alone time can backfire and result in isolation or too much time in your own head when a dinner or drink with friends, date with a romantic partner, or even an enjoyable work do can provide the socialization that most of us need to be balanced and healthy. I think that the best definition I can imagine for true emotional balance is a person who can be content and happy both surrounded by people or by themselves, and both are skills that can be learned if you don’t have them naturally.

It’s not a complicated or complex formula, but it combats what I particularly struggle with. If anyone out there deals with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or any other form of mental health challenge, I’d be curious as to what non-medical self care or coping mechanism you use to keep yourself as balanced as you can. My observation is that while there are broad themes to these conditions, the personal experience of them is unique and so have been the recipes for managing them.