https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js ETA: your Friday news blast.3000 people did not die in the two hurricanes that hit Puerto Rico. When I left the Island, AFTER the storm had hit, they had anywhere from 6 to 18 deaths. As time went by it did not go up by much. Then, a long time later, they started to report really large numbers, like 3000…
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 13, 2018
“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.”
― Oscar Wilde
A question for your Monday, kittens: do you go through phases in your pop culture consumption? I ask because I’m trying to read as close to 100 books as I can this year and after a strong start, a couple of months ago I just sort of trailed off a bit. I must have been in a podcast kind of mood because the vast majority of my media, entertainment as well as information, has come through audio rather than books for a good couple of months. This is weird, because I LOVE to read.
So, I’m making a concentrated attempt at finishing some of the items on my library list, and I’m looking for recommendations.
I’ve recently finished, “The Power,” by Naomi Alderman, “Fantasyland: How American Went Haywire,” by Kurt Andersen, and “Norse Mythology,” by Neil Gaiman. I’ve been working on, “White Trash: the 400 Year Untold History of Class in America,” by Nancy Isenberg which should be required reading for anyone who ever wants to open their mouth on class or race in America in public. I am also counting down the days to a couple of new romances by Tessa Dare and Lisa Kleypas, who are two of my favorite writers in the genre.
Basically, I read everything. Give me a list of what you’ve loved and why in the comments. Has a particular genre tickled your fancy? I read a few political books earlier this year but have largely taken a break from them because…the news. I am particularly interested in more philosophy or economics if anyone has suggestions, but I also accept trashy bodice rippers, ground breaking YA, and trippy science fiction!
“Create your own style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.”
― Anna Wintour
Quick question, those of you kittens interested in fashion, beauty and style: which bloggers and channels have you followed for years, and why? I’ve unfollowed a lot of style blogs over the years–not because I don’t like or want to support them as a medium, but because I’ve gradually found so many of them to be less and less interesting or unique. In fact, in retrospect, I think I have tended to unsubscribe in batches when I just get bored of certain sites. I saw too much repetition, too much similarity of content, and too many overlapping aesthetics. Instagram and other social media have compounded the problem, both in the fashion and beauty spaces and (off the back of a chat with Katarina), I’ve been thinking about this lately in the wake of last month’s Week of Outfits project.
Frankly, I miss the “old” style blogs of about a decade ago. The ones where (mostly) women and girls crafted unique and instantly recognizable fashion senses, sometimes with a lot of money but often without. I never begrudged them the odd PR gift or contract because I trusted them to blend the items they received for free into the style they had taken the time to publicly develop, curate and share.
Of COURSE there are still people out there creating beautiful images and good writing around style and beauty, but I’m surprised by how few writers and videographers I follow now than what I used to. There are plenty of stylish (mostly) women out there who do really good and thoughtful writing about style but the rise of monetization and blogger-directed PR has complicated the kind of writing I see. The beauty space is sort of notorious for this. You can tell exactly when the PR machine has kicked in for a new launch because quite suddenly every single blogger and YouTuber will produce content raving about a product or line at exactly the same time, usually using very similar language. NARS just launched a new mascara and every beauty blogger and their photographer boyfriend seems to have ended up in Ibiza for the press party. I don’t necessarily begrudge them their good fortune either…but I’m not going to watch a dozen vlogs of the same event featuring the same people and rave reviews of a product they couldn’t possibly have road tested.
In some ways this new reality isn’t massively different from the magazine model, but I think that blogs and magazines are different platforms in key ways and that has always informed the kind of coverage they did. For a long time, editors were seen as arbiters not just of good taste and style, but also good judgement and trusted recommendations. PR has obviously affected this too and it is increasingly easy to either see or at least make informed guesses about how PR money is influencing coverage.
I get it, it was always sort of inevitable that a full blown business model would emerge around “influencers,” and as I’ve said I don’t really fault the women who are able to make livings off of it. Good for them! I sure as hell don’t think I could do it! But I still miss that era of internet writing and visual display all the same.
Audrey a la Mode – writes about and films content on “slow fashion” and thoughtful shopping. Because her style is fairly classic, she is able to really demonstrate the value of second hand shopping and building an intentional wardrobe. A lot of her outfits are straight from Town and Country at any point in the last 50 years, but her content has always struck me as very authentic and genuine.
Where Did You Get That – equally enthusiastic about vintage and ready to wear, her enthusiasm for shopping and style is infectious and, because she makes a point to mix old and new pieces and buy what she loves, she has cultivated her own aesthetic. She loves clothes and it shows.
Sea of Shoes – one of the OG style bloggers who is famously eclectic in her tastes, mixing couture and eBay finds.
The Anna Edit – a British beauty blogger who has since branched out into a lot of style and lifestyle content, but one I’ve followed for a long time. She’s another example of a blogger who has maintained what feels like a very authentic and consistent voice, which I like, and she also writes thoughtfully on mindful consumerism and how she makes certain business choices.
The Frugality – Alex is another British blogger who I’ve met and briefly got some work experience overlap with in my freelance days at Red Magazine. These days she a full time freelance stylist and writer, who blogs about style but also the London home she and her husband are renovating together with a newborn in tow.
I clearly have certain “types” when it comes to the women I follow. I am interested in self-aware and authentic women who like what they like without excuses, and are intelligent and intentional about their lives and respective styles. I am interested in women who have something to show or say, and not just sell.
So again, who do you follow in the “style and beauty” world, and why? What about their content speaks to you? Let’s chat in the comments.
“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.”
– Audrey Hepburn
Its not terribly exciting, but one of the things I really like is “doing nothing” with Jeff. We both work hard and long hours during the week and make it a priority to spend the weekends mostly together. Of course we’ll occasionally meet up with friends or run errands (Jeff goes golfing with the guys, I will meet up with friends for brunch or coffee, and so on), but most weekends will find us at home doing un-glamorous grown up things like laundry and cleaning the house.
Often, and especially during the cooler months, we may spend whole weekends at home and barely leave the apartment. This is by no means an every weekend kind of thing, but during particularly busy seasons or after a grueling week, by mutual consent, we’ll decide to do as little as we can reasonably get away with. We call these “Slow Days,” and they have a very specific formula.
Pajamas and exercise clothing feature heavily. Actual exercise is optional.
Podcasts. It’s a bit of a family tradition but we normally listen to NPR classic “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me” together while we cook breakfast. Breakfasts are either roasted potatoes with eggs and avocados, or french toast. Almost without fail.
Naps may be involved.
We’ll play video games. Jeff is much more of a gamer than me, but there are some that I like and do play regularly. We may also play board or card games.
We’ll read. I normally have at least one book and audiobook going at any given point, and Jeff will catch up on news. We are both political junkies, but we take Slow Days to catch up on a lot of the news that we might have missed in the sturm und drang of the day to day media churn.
We will normally do a few chores to help justify our extreme laziness, but we usually do them together.
I’ll normally indulge in some skincare and slather a mask on my face. If I’m feeling particularly energetic I’ll groom my brows, wax my upper lip (let’s be real), and
At some point, because I’m hyper, I’ll get a bit bored and probably tidy something up or run a small errand. This is when my spice rack gets organized, or my pile of clothes that need to be taken to the dry cleaner gets separated from items for the regular wash.
Quite often, we’ll go hours not speaking to one another, even if we’re in the house together. Not in an unhealthy sense, but in a companionable silence sort of way that I’ve really come to value over the years. At the end of the day, there’s only a few people who I feel able to be “alone” with, without trying to be funny, clever, engaging, or “switched on” in some way. These people are my best friends (shout out to X. with whom I spent many a summer vacation day reading in silence–the stuff lasting teenage friendships are made of!) and my husband.
When you give yourself permission to have a slow day, what does it look like and does it involve anyone else?
“Two things only the people anxiously desire — bread and circuses.”
– Juvenal
Unpopular hot take: nothing in political news that happened this week is exactly revelatory. President Trump is exactly the same in private as he is in public–which is what interviews, background statements, and his own Twitter feed have been telling us since day one. A lot of people are willing to complain about him, but only anonymously, and few are willing to do anything that actually holds him to account. This is the new status quo.
Here’s a batch of weekend reading for you, my lovelies. It’s not all bad political news, I promise.
Another book about the Trump White House dropped this week and unfortunately (for him) this one’s by an author that a lot of D.C. takes pretty seriously. He’s also got receipts.
Hideous, but not surprising. I’m immensely sorry to say.
Equally horrific and unsurprising at this point.
Mix me the perfect green, someone.
Somebody check on Sandra Bullock and George Clooney real quick.
A compelling longform piece about, ah, enhancements.
I have been pondering lately on the reality that an entire industry exists to put people in financial thrall to the government, making the government quite a tidy profit. The more I think about this, the angrier it makes me.
I genuinely teared up reading about this news story this past week. Cultural heritage is human legacy and it’s irreplaceable.
Okay, I put it off for a bit and tried to get some fun content in…but we’ve got to talk about it. Even by the absolutely topsy turvy standards of the times, this op ed was astounding. And the theorizing commenced immediately. Lots of theorizing. It’s fun to speculate (I mean, as “fun” as the public debate over whether your democratically elected leader is in fact 1) unfit for office and 2) is actually being managed by a shadowy cabal–either of these options being bad for said democracy in some way or another–can be) but my possibly unpopular take is that this op ed feels self serving and cowardly instead of brave: either sign your name to your opinions and quit like a principled public servant, or protect and serve an administration you genuinely support. To do anything other is to be complicit in destabilizing the country. These background style interviews and exposes are of decreasing value to us as citizens. Go on the record if you feel the situation is really so dire, or shut up.
Another option is that this is signalling to supporters of the policies, if not the man, to stay the course. Which also feels like cowardly way to go about governing a country.
Finally, here’s a piece arguing in favor of Anonymous, positing the like-minded civil servants are really all we have between us and bad leadership. A cynical if ruthlessly cleared view of a government based on the honor system and how we cope with the reality that no one is playing by the rules right now.
This piece is both about Tucker Carlson, and not. Either way, it’s good.
I have been following the Judge Kavanaugh hearings but only in small briefs from trusted news sources. I’m too angry to take in more than curt, factual summaries and at time of closing on this post, the story is moving too quickly for me to link anything. Between grandstanding politicians, leaked documents, and protests, I have no idea how this story is going to end…but I’m going to guess with a partisan confirming vote. No links, only gnashes of teeth.
Here at least is an op ed I can get behind.
Beauty YouTube drama, explained.
This is a statement. The risks for a campaign like this are not small for any business, but you have to admit it got people talking. I love it.
“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
Quick question, kittens, what do you automate or outsource? I subscribe to news and podcasts which are automatically downloaded to my devices daily. Books, video, and music can be delivered or streamed to me with a click. I can order a bunch of items or goods to my house instantly, and subscription services are a nice and growing industry. Much like google, Amazon is practically a verb now.
I like many aspects of modern urban life which have allowed me to automate or outsource things that previously required much more effort or time. Like many women, I’m time poor and married to an equally time poor man, so it’s worth it to me to pay for certain things to be automated on our behalf. As we’ve matured in our lives and careers, we’ve gotten better about budgeting for things that we are content to pay for rather than do ourselves. I’m deeply aware that this is a privileged experience and I don’t take that lightly, but I don’t hesitate to use them when they meet my needs. Some things I’ve automated…
Grocery deliveries. Once a week a box of produce arrives on our doorstep. It’s brilliant! Occasionally I amend my standing order to include things like dairy or special items for specific recipes, but as a rule it’s just a weekly delivery of seasonal vegetables and fruit in reasonable amounts for two people to munch through in a single week. This has helped cut down on the amount of food shopping I have to do dramatically, as well as the amount we physically have to carry when we do shop (as central Londoners without a car). It’s also helped reduce a lot of food waste, which is also something I’d like to be better about, as well as increasing our intake of vegetables.
Coffee delivery. We subscribe to a couple of companies that send us coffee throughout the month. Not only is this one less thing to have to pick up at the store, it fulfills our need for snobbery by constantly rotating the tastes and flavors we are exposed to, and allows us to try and funnel our money towards companies with transparency in their agricultural and labor practices.
If I had more money I would absolutely look into regular cleaning services as well. Not weekly, but perhaps quarterly to help maintain our home. I don’t want or need help in managing day to day mess, but it would absolutely be worth it to me to have professional help in the frenzy of seasonal cleaning when I’m looking to really dig into corners, scrub grout and defrost/broil appliances to get them scoured clean.
I wrote a post three years ago about the financial realities of dog and/or childcare and my views on this haven’t changed. If we have children, we intend to employ help for this too.
However, there are some automated services that I think are actively bad ideas. Clothing and beauty subscription services are popular these days, but do not represent sensible consumption in my opinion. Other novelty subscription services will deliver things like petcare or pop culture items to your door monthly, meaning that users often end up buying things they don’t need and never would have purchased normally and in greater quantities over the course of, say, a year. Some people subscribe to media platforms and never use them–why?!
I suppose in the end, what you value is where you end up investing money. I have friends who subscribe to meal services, wine deliveries, monthly deliveries of household goods (something I may seriously get into at some point to further reduce my shopping), various services and providers (including laundry apps!), and any number of things. One woman I know schedules two blowouts a week for her hair and economizes elsewhere to justify it. Some people do their own bookkeeping and taxes, some hire accountants.
What, if anything have you outsourced to other people or providers, and why?
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
― Epictetus
The other weekend, Jeff and I were doing our monthly bills round up when we noticed some charges on a card that neither of us recognized. We’re pretty sure this card was “skimmed,” as it’s not the first time we’ve had a security issue with the bank in question. It’s a solvable problem but we were angry and frustrated by it. This was over the bank holiday and we were considering a bit of a madcap city break for some quality time. The money in the budget for this? Compromised by these false charges. Ugh.
Jeff got on the phone to the bank immediately and we’ve done the necessary paperwork to resolve it, but it was a shock and annoyance all the same. We’re probably going to close this account after two cases of lax security from the same provider in a year. 2018 is already too fraught for this kind of stress!
However it was a good moment to review our household budget and goals. I’ve started a new contract and Jeff earned a promotion this past summer, so we had some modest growth in our take home pay and we hadn’t really considered how to use it. Our one purchase for the house was made and I’m on some personal spending challenges already, but we knew we had gotten a bit lax with items like eating out or travel costs around the city. Take into account the ever fluctuating exchange rate between dollars and pounds (thanks, Brexit, you slow moving mess), which has more of an impact on our monthly finances than you may think, and you can see why expat life and banking can be a bother on a good day, to say nothing of an obnoxious one. We decided we wanted to try and add another $300 to our debt/savings plan. Which also would have been doable had not our card been compromised. Ugh again. Anyway, we’ve set up some minor self goals to help achieve this in spite of other people’s criminality and it was a nice way to look ahead to the upcoming season in terms of money and plans.
Moral of the story: always check your bank statements, kittens. Some jerk may have prevented your planned trip to Bath.
“Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions.”
―
Happy September, darlings! Both Jeff and I have to work this weekend, but I have put together an extra long batch of weekend reading to tide you over until regular posting resumes…unless I desperately need to procrastinate and decide to bang out a few hundred random words.
Here are you links, tell me what you’re up to in the comments!
In the “This Should Have Been a Bigger Story,” portion of the weekly links, the President tweeted conspiracy theories from The Daily Caller as fact and the FBI had to go on record to correct the statement. Reporting by The Atlantic also outed (yet another) white nationalist who has subsequently retired, and I shan’t link to that because fuck that ideology.
The political news is once again, almost all bad. This take from Crooked Media on the confluence of courtsis a bit drastic…but a lot of it feels plausible and correct to me.
Senator John McCain passed away after his public battle with brain cancer. The internet was immediately swarming with hot takes on his status as a great man, a “great man,” and as a failed great man–think a person can be all of these things and more at once. I disagreed with much of his politics, but I sincerely admired many things about him and considered him an Elder Statesman of his party in the best sense of the term. We need elder statesmen, they carry institutional knowledge and perspective, as well as the ability to work towards pragmatic compromise–something our Congress seems to be systematically dismantling. With his passing, I have no idea who can step into the role he held in the way that he held it. His parting statements are worthy of a read and consideration, and it’s impossible not to read a rebuke in them of our current political landscape right across the spectrum.
We have a gun violence problem. We have a toxic masculinity problem. Our society has combined the two into a epidemic of violence against women. It’s everywhere. It crosses age and class and race and ideology.
We need to talk about whether or not Serena Williams’ catsuit violates…anything?
And I’m sure, seeing as we handled the crisis in the Mediterranean so well, that there will be no social, racial, or economic backlash to this in the Americas.
This thread was a wild, wild ride…
The global water crisis is already here.
Lawfare has a thoughtful take on the strangeness of the office of the American presidency in determining what may or may not be law.
J. Crew is trying to win us back–written from the male perspective!
A democrat and a republican face off in Texas…
I wrote about Sharp Objects as one of my monthly favorites this past week, but there is so much more I wish I could say about this series if only I could string the words together better. One of my favorite summary pieces on the finale came from Vulture and is well worth a shout out. Obviously don’t read unless you’ve watched the series or don’t mind some serious spoilers, but if you have, enjoy diving into the editing, music, and deep dive thoughts. The last line absolutely floored me.
This is maddening. Republicans released a list as a mobilizing scare tactic, documenting all of the things that Democrats may investigate if voted into power. Read more cynically, this is a list of a lot of things that, as the ruling party THEY should be investigating. But of course they can’t, because so many of them have tied their political fortunes to a capricious president who has given them a lot of bad PR and a tax cut that made a lot of donors happy, but rings pretty hollow to the populist base they have embraced.
Oh my. Hard not to read some of this story as a blatant demand for a pardon, or else.
I really liked this piece at Man Repeller at the social media driven shift in our culture to reactions–or rather, how we perform reactivity and outrage for wider consumption, and how that drives our culture progress (or lack thereof).
Again, this new friendship of ours seems to be going super well...
He’s not even being subtle at this point.
Is anyone surprised by this? Anyone? Bueller?
Also, is anyone surprised by this leak?
In lighter news, the Fug Girls put together an edit of fall floral frocks…and I might be into florals suddenly? Who am I any more?!
AMEN, REBECCA TRAISTER. These men are mostly still free, still wealthy, and still influential. They are fine. They are better off than almost all of the rest of us. Six months in the wilderness does not a consequence make and they do not deserve special treatment. In my workplace, if a colleague harassed me, he would come under review at the very lease (depending on the severity). If he assaulted me, he would lose his job. Celebrities and powerful men do not deserve differently. Boys, bye. Roxanne Gay also has thoughts worth reading.
In religion news, another child sex abuse scandal is rocking the Catholic church. Aside from the absolute horror and extent of these stories, which are grim, there are political implications for the church as internal factions try to use these crises to different ends. This episode of The Daily which delves into the topic is worth your time.
What is the role of the magazine editor now?
This story is scary as fuck. Anyone who claims the privilege of a passport needs to thoughtfully consider the implications because if birthright citizenship can be taken away or doubted for one group, it can be taken away from anyone. Due process applies to all of us or it applies to none of us.
A profile I did not realize I needed!
An insider looks upon his work and has opinions.
This to me does a much better job of summarizing my thoughts on performative patriotism (which I’ve written about before) and what is worth our time, attention, and outrage as a society: clean water and working municipal sysems may be a better indicator of freedom than any number of other measures.
Some days you’re the cat, some days you’re the bag.
And finally…
To state the obvious, denying federal workers a pay raise because you’ve lavished a trillion dollars of tax cuts on corporations and the wealthy, creating massive new deficits, is beyond outrageous.
— David Axelrod (@davidaxelrod) August 30, 2018
“August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time.”
― Sylvia Plath
Another month down and it’s time to share a few things I loved this month. This August was heavy on the video front when it comes to pop culture, from stand along shows to absolutely brilliant series, to thoughtful content creators. As I’ve mentioned, I’m not reading as much as previous months, but I am nearly caught up on podcasts, which is truly saying something!
I’m surprised at the mix of dark and light topics this month, and also at the overtly feminine and female topics that have grabbed my attention. From pop culture to personal stories, I was clearly all over the place, but there are a few narrative similarities if one wants to dig into my psyche a bit.
What have you loved or discovered this month? Share your favorite stuff in the comments; I’m curious as always.
I finally got around to watching this Netflix “comedy” special, and it’s just as powerful as people said it was. It’s less comedy than it is a cry for help and a battle cry at the same time by a brilliant woman who Has Had Enough. In her monologue, Hannah Gadsby debates breaking up with comedy for her own growth and mental health and takes an unexpected turn about halfway through her set, choosing to tell her truth with radical honesty. It’s not a happy story, but it feels deeply, deeply important in the current cultural moment as we grapple with identity and divisions and what knits us all together. And she’s also very funny! Definitely give this one an hour of your time if you haven’t yet, you will be moved.
It’s a bit embarrassing how much of a good £5 well spent this was, but I picked up a French style, woven string market bag at a vintage shop simply because I thought it would be an easier thing to carry around in my work bag and use to do smaller shopping trips several times a week. And do you know what? I was right! Because both Jeff and I have had rougher work schedules lately, we have only been able to do big shopping trips at the weekend. This means we are likely to run out of stuff mid week and resort to other, less frugal eating choices when laziness rears its ugly head. Having something relatively small and weightless, and more expandable than your average mass marketed tote, has been ridiculously useful. It’s such a weird pick for something to love for the month, but I really do.
Guys, this show is dark. Unbelievably dark. It’s also incredibly well-crafted, superbly acted, gorgeously shot, and almost ridiculously well-edited. It’s almost absurd how good it is. This is a limited series from HBO, adapted from Gillian Flynn’s novel of the same name. She’s the dark and twisty mind that brought us Gone Girl and her preferred themes of toxic relationships, the dark side of the female experience, and the damage people can do to one another and themselves are on full display. I imagine watching this may be a gendered experience because there are certain lines and shots that absolutely knock me sideways and don’t quite land on Jeff in the same way, but he’s equally obsessed. This is a show about female rage, female generational violence, female evil–it leans into tropes and stereotypes and then twists them, or takes them to dark conclusions. Mother love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, the societal pressures to look pretty and not be a bother can be lethal, and pristine packaging can hide some pretty devastating rot.
Amy Adams does some of her best acting in the role of a journalist who returns to her hometown to cover the murder of two young girls. As she investigates, her backstory is revealed through masterful editing cuts that flit back and forth from the present to the past and weaves the narrative together and a deliberately haunting way. I personally find many aspects of the story deeply triggering and difficult to watch, but it’s so amazingly done that I can’t stop watching. I wish that limited series were more popular in the US as a medium; when they are well done, they can be film masterpieces in their own right. Hopefully this project inspires more in the future.
I’m still working on using up my goal lipsticks this summer, so this month Rosehip by Bite got a lot of love in aid of that target. But it’s also a beautiful, bright coral shade that’s perfect for hot weather and wears beautifully on the lips. At time of writing this is set to be the third Bite lipstick I finish off this year and were it not for the fact that I need to use up even more before I’m allowed repurchase (plus the fact that I’m now on austerity shopping measures), I’d buy another one of this shade in a heartbeat. [ETA, I finished it!]
I’m not sure how I discovered this YouTuber but I have really been enjoying her video and blog content. While we don’t have exactly the same style, she has such a lovely aesthetic and is clearly so thoughtful about the kind of writing and filming she does in her own instantly recognizable way. She blogs on overlapping style interests of mine, including second hand and vintage shopping, slow fashion, and thoughtful consumerism.
“I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick.”
– Audrey Hepburn
Big news, team, I’ve finished another full sized lip product this month. This is my third this year so far and means I’m two for three in my 13 by Halloween panning challenge. Progress!
I’ve said it before, and others have said it with far more eloquence, but we live in an age of conspicuous beauty consumption and it’s fascinating to watch whole media and production industries shift to accelerate our spending habits. But there is much less interrogation of the perish-ability of beauty items and how long it takes to use some of them. It took me months of almost single-product usage to use up these lipsticks…and I own at least two dozen lip products. The sheer time it will take me to use these items is daunting.
In fact I can hand on heart say that I own years worth of makeup… and I don’t feel great about that. Earlier this year I made an inventory of all the beauty products I own and how much they cost to purchase. I still can’t share the number because even now I’m shocked by it. However, quantifying what I owned was a real wake up call and has helped me set (and mostly keep) spending challenges, and has motivated me to take more pleasure in using items than hoarding or collecting them.
Similar to clothing, I definitely went through a period in my young adulthood of not really knowing who I was (aesthetically speaking) or what face or image I wanted to portray to the world. I tried on a lot of looks, hoping to find myself in the mirror. I bought items that editors and bloggers recommended, shopped for the kind of girl I thought I wanted to be (rather than who I actually was), and frankly indulged in retail therapy. It was an expensive and frankly wasteful process to go through, and I recognize my own privilege in being able to afford it, but I’m grateful to have had the experience of learning a bit more about myself through the mirror of…well, my bathroom mirror. I’ve learned a lot.
I’ve learned that I don’t care if everyone and their dog loves it, I don’t like NARS’ iconic blush shade, “Orgasm.” It has glitter in it, and that’s not my jam. I’ve learned that blue based red lipstick may make my teeth look whiter, but too bad. I loved orangey reds and if given the choices will always reach for the latter–and should probably therefore stop buying the former. I’ve learned that I don’t know how or care to contour my face; I am not a Kardashian. I’ve learned that I may love the idea of colorful eyeliners and pencils but I will not wear them and they are a waste of money.
I’ve learned that 90% of any successful and cohesive aesthetic as an adult woman seems to be confidence. I’m sure in retrospect that literally no one on earth besides me was paying significant attention to how my face looked on any given day, and that most of the angst and insecurity I felt was emotional energy spent that I’ll never get back. I’ve also learned that because almost know one cares about my face as much as me, I may as well have fun from time to time and actually wear colorful makeup or lipstick and enjoy the hell out of it rather than allow it to languish on a shelf due to timidity.
I’ve learned that no amount of product or pigment will compensate for poor health or self care. Good skin, an exercised body, and healthy food may not be as bold as red lipstick, but I will feel ten times better in them than any amount of the latter. A balanced emotional state and tended to mental health is not notably glamorous but it is infinitely better for my wallet. And I’ve learned that before I am allowed to buy anything, I must do the months worth of work to use what I have first. It’s been a mindset shift that has stretched into almost every area of my life as a capitalist consumer.
Beauty has taught me a lot, and I think that’s why I like to write about it and read about it as much as I do. It’s an interesting glimpse into an inner life with a very shallow surface and very deep through lines.
Small Dog Syndrome 