Category: Fashion

I Miss Style Blogs

“Create your own style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.” 
― Anna Wintour

Quick question, those of you kittens interested in fashion, beauty and style: which bloggers and channels have you followed for years, and why? I’ve unfollowed a lot of style blogs over the years–not because I don’t like or want to support them as a medium, but because I’ve gradually found so many of them to be less and less interesting or unique. In fact, in retrospect, I think I have tended to unsubscribe in batches when I just get bored of certain sites. I saw too much repetition, too much similarity of content, and too many overlapping aesthetics. Instagram and other social media have compounded the problem, both in the fashion and beauty spaces and (off the back of a chat with Katarina), I’ve been thinking about this lately in the wake of last month’s Week of Outfits project.

Frankly, I miss the “old” style blogs of about a decade ago. The ones where (mostly) women and girls crafted unique and instantly recognizable fashion senses, sometimes with a lot of money but often without. I never begrudged them the odd PR gift or contract because I trusted them to blend the items they received for free into the style they had taken the time to publicly develop, curate and share.

Of COURSE there are still people out there creating beautiful images and good writing around style and beauty, but I’m surprised by how few writers and videographers I follow now than what I used to. There are plenty of stylish (mostly) women out there who do really good and thoughtful writing about style but the rise of monetization and blogger-directed PR has complicated the kind of writing I see. The beauty space is sort of notorious for this. You can tell exactly when the PR machine has kicked in for a new launch because quite suddenly every single blogger and YouTuber will produce content raving about a product or line at exactly the same time, usually using very similar language. NARS just launched a new mascara and every beauty blogger and their photographer boyfriend seems to have ended up in Ibiza for the press party. I don’t necessarily begrudge them their good fortune either…but I’m not going to watch a dozen vlogs of the same event featuring the same people and rave reviews of a product they couldn’t possibly have road tested.

In some ways this new reality isn’t massively different from the magazine model, but I think that blogs and magazines are different platforms in key ways and that has always informed the kind of coverage they did. For a long time, editors were seen as arbiters not just of good taste and style, but also good judgement and trusted recommendations. PR has obviously affected this too and it is increasingly easy to either see or at least make informed guesses about how PR money is influencing coverage.

I get it, it was always sort of inevitable that a full blown business model would emerge around “influencers,” and as I’ve said I don’t really fault the women who are able to make livings off of it. Good for them! I sure as hell don’t think I could do it! But I still miss that era of internet writing and visual display all the same.

A few writers and YouTubers I still follow these days include…

Audrey a la Mode – writes about and films content on “slow fashion” and thoughtful shopping. Because her style is fairly classic, she is able to really demonstrate the value of second hand shopping and building an intentional wardrobe. A lot of her outfits are straight from Town and Country at any point in the last 50 years, but her content has always struck me as very authentic and genuine.

Where Did You Get That – equally enthusiastic about vintage and ready to wear, her enthusiasm for shopping and style is infectious and, because she makes a point to mix old and new pieces and buy what she loves, she has cultivated her own aesthetic. She loves clothes and it shows.

Sea of Shoes – one of the OG style bloggers who is famously eclectic in her tastes, mixing couture and eBay finds.

The Anna Edit – a British beauty blogger who has since branched out into a lot of style and lifestyle content, but one I’ve followed for a long time. She’s another example of a blogger who has maintained what feels like a very authentic and consistent voice, which I like, and she also writes thoughtfully on mindful consumerism and how she makes certain business choices.

The Frugality – Alex is another British blogger who I’ve met and briefly got some work experience overlap with in my freelance days at Red Magazine. These days she a full time freelance stylist and writer, who blogs about style but also the London home she and her husband are renovating together with a newborn in tow.

I clearly have certain “types” when it comes to the women I follow. I am interested in self-aware and authentic women who like what they like without excuses, and are intelligent and intentional about their lives and respective styles. I am interested in women who have something to show or say, and not just sell.

So again, who do you follow in the “style and beauty” world, and why? What about their content speaks to you? Let’s chat in the comments.

A Week of Outfits: Saturday

“Black is the hardest color in the world to get right—except for gray…”
– Diana Vreeland

You have Katarina to blame for this project, ducklings, as this was an idea for a 101/1001 goal she suggested and I foolishly added it to the list. I then thought it would be a great way to write about some of my new goals around shopping my closet, avoiding new purchases for the rest of the year, and generally writing more honestly about my consumer habits.

Then, the stupid paranoia hit. I am terrible about having my picture taken (a side effect of that body negativity I wrote about the other day), and go out of my way to avoid being photographed because I always hate how I look in images. I think I’m hoping this project will help me get over that personal hurdle a bit. So I bit the bullet and dressed for the day one Saturday with the intention of kicking off this week-long project. Then, I took a look at my shots from day one and there we were, kicking off with an annoyingly unflattering image, given that I’m feeling pretty good about my my recent health and wellbeing progress of late. Anyway I present you a British day, blazing and gorgeous high summer, and myself, a column of gray and black.

Welcome to a week of outfits from me, your friendly neighborhood Emphatically-Not-A-Style Blogger.

The recent heatwaves have presented a challenge for many Londoners. Speaking for myself and based on the rigorous anecdotal research of my friends and coworkers, I can tell you that it turns out few of us have the wardrobe for this kind of heat. Most of the time, when you want this much sun and high temperatures for a sustained period, we leave the country for them! There is a reason Europe is effectively out to lunch for the month of August, this continent wasn’t built to deal with the heat and many of us flee for cities and countries with the infrastructure to cope or the topography to make the most of Vitamin D.

Dressing for work has been a chore. Almost everything I have that’s appropriate for the office feels too hot or too covered up for the thermostat, while the few summer items I own are almost strictly casual or weekend clothes. Juggling necklines and hemlines while also trying to not sweat through your clothes on an overpacked Tube on your commute is a puzzle. I’ve started taking a bus into central London just to avoid the worst of the crowding on hot days, with its accompanying irritation and smells.

I love cold weather clothing and it’s easily where I’ve invested the most money over the years. But this year I had to dip into my original goal of only purchasing 18 items (since exploded) to pick up some summer appropriate shirts and trousers…because I truly didn’t have enough hot weather options to put together presentable work outfits. I felt a bit silly but there it is.

Weekends I’m better equipped for, as I said.

I’m trying to wear dresses more often in general, so last Saturday I pulled out an old J. Crew jersey dress that I picked up years and years ago. It’s short enough to keep cool but has a crew neck which keeps me more comfortably covered and feels modern and sporty.

I own only two pairs of sunglasses, both of which I bought years ago and spent a bit more money on, on the theory that I’d take better care of nice ones than cheap crap. So far that’s proven a wise move and I’ve had these for nearly five years with nary an accident to report. In the summer I wear these aviators by Tory Burch and in the winter, I have a pair of Jackie O style frames from Ralph Lauren

Accessories are a hodgepodge. The trainers are from Muji, the necklace and bag are both vintage. I’m thinking of doing a whole post just on my collection of vintage and second hand pieces, and some recommendations for finding good deals and steals throughout London, let me know if that would be of any interest or just frivolous and boring.

The hair is straight up laziness personified. On hot weekends I often let my hair air dry rather than putting my head under an unwelcome blast of additional heat from a hair dryer, and the results are either charming and almost-French-girl looking…or scruffy. Today felt scruffy, alas. I slapped on some concealer, mascara and a bit of loose powder, all by Glossier, and a Bite lipstick and called it A Look.

Jeff and I spent the afternoon in Southwark. We wandered around Bermondsey Street and Borough Market before picking up groceries and heading home. And that’s Day One of Outfit week.

Lest any of you think I’m taking this or myself to seriously…

I still have no idea how to take a nice photo. Prepare for a week of ham and cheese, friends!

#NationalLipstickDay

“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.”
– Elizabeth Taylor

Raise your favorite fistful of weaponry high, girls and fabulously unbothered guys, for today we celebrate our adult safety blanket, our liquid courage, the exclamation point we wear on our faces. Today is National Lipstick Day!

The Lipstick Effect

Sometimes I’m so hilariously on-type as a millennial that I have to laugh. I definitely am part of the post-2008 Great Recession generation of adults who graduated into a bit of a financial wasteland and so turned to buying smaller “luxuries” instead of bigger purchases like houses and and cars. Sorry for killing those industries, boomers! The lipstick effect is a real thing and I wonder how much my generational timing has played into my love of it as a product. Would I still love it without the perils of financial instability looming over me? Probably. Would it be a small symbol of disposable income, a measure of control over my appearance when bigger ticket items are utterly beyond my reach, a talisman of bravery against a world in which I felt small and disenfranchised and poor without that backdrop? Likely not. Lipstick as I like to say, is armor.

Scarlet red lips don’t appear in nature but they are almost uniformly agreed to be fabulous. Nude colored lipstick promise a “your lips but better” experience for the more demure. Either way you swing, lipstick is designed to make you feel like you can choose and put on a better version of yourself. Someone bolder, someone more polished, someone who doesn’t care how other people look at her, someone who insists that other people look at her and see what she wants them to see. It is a fundamentally frivolous purchase, a bit of artifice in a plastic or metal tube, but also a delightful and powerful collective fiction.

I love the stories about the importance of beauty to Britain under rationing in World War II. Apparently Hitler was anti cosmetics which was just one of may reasons for British women to eke out that tube of contraband as long as possible. Women were encouraged to keep glamorous (with the usual sexist overtones) but there was a recognition that choosing to look as you wished to, to portray yourself to the world as you wished to be seen or saw yourself at your best, was fundamental to morale. It doesn’t take a war to want to feel that way.

My Love Affair With Lipstick

I was growing into my love for it towards the end of my university years, but it was in young adulthood that the flirtation really blossomed into a love affair. We’ve been very happy together ever since. I own too much, but I wear ever single bullet and tube I buy regularly because I love the whole experience that goes with it. I love shopping for it, testing out shades, seeing how I feel in them, hoarding them like a dragon over my gold, and picking one every day that will make me feel great to wear.

You can’t accidentally fall into lipstick, it is an intentional product. Unless you are supremely gifted, you have to pay attention to apply it correctly, and you often have to “touch it up” throughout the day to keep it looking tidy and at full strength–unless you have mastered the art of not caring whilst still achieving effortless, chic status. In which case, DM me, I have a few questions. Personally, I love whipping out a small mirror in the afternoon for a quick once over. I usually find it reassuring to be reminded that I have a little extra something on my face that feels positive, pretty, and powerful.

It’s become “my thing,” part of my brand, for lack of a better word. At a previous job, a man from another company who I had only met once previously was discussing our meeting to a colleague and forgot my name. He struggled for a moment before describing me as, “The woman, the one with the lipstick.” I was not the only woman in this meeting, nor the only one with lip product on her face. Mine had stood out somehow. Good. I’d chosen it for exactly that purpose and it worked.

I don’t wear lipstick for other people and certainly not for male attention. My husband knows how lipstick makes me feel and he’s not above kissing me while in my full warpaint. He is perfectly able to wipe off any excess; it doesn’t hurt him. He is also wise enough occasionally divert a kiss to my cheek or forehead (or at his most adorable, my nose) while lovingly and teasingly saying, “I don’t want to smudge you.” He gets it. And as for anyone else, I don’t wear it for them; I wear lipstick because I feel better with it on.

Lipstick, like shoes, always fits. It makes an old T-shirt and a comfortable pair of jeans into an “outfit.” It is a pocket sized personality beacon. It is a blatant claiming of space and attention, even and perhaps especially just for yourself.

Lipstick is Armor

I made a friend several years ago who didn’t necessarily share my love of lipstick. She had a minimal beauty style that suited her to the ground and she preferred to wear things that made her complexion the star of the show. She always looked fantastic.

One day over lunch we were swapping stories and tidbits of information, and somehow we got on to the subject of beauty. We complimented one other’s taste (because women loving women is the best) and she asked me about lipstick because she noticed I always wore it. I laughed and gave her a truncated version of this post: how it makes me feel to wear it and how I know it’s just wax and pigment that it somehow, genuinely makes me happier and braver. She got it too.

“You know, I have a lipstick drawer somewhere,” she said after a moment. “I never use the stuff, but I love knowing that it’s there. Just in case. I may need it some day.”

 

A Jacket Interlude

“Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.”
“That’s a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.”
– Miss Congeniality, 2000

Deploying the First Lady is something the Trump administration does rarely but damn effectively. She really is an under utilized resource, and like many others I don’t know if this is down to personal preference or genuine strategic thinking to keep her PR value high.

So, with that in mind,  let’s fight about this jacket. I’m pretty well convinced this is intentional and strategic. Melania Trump, a former model and genuinely well dressed and shod woman, knows how to use fashion. See also, her pussy bow blouse during “Grab ’em by the pussy” week, her choice of stilettos when visiting a flood zone which may or may not have been practical but certainly got people talking, her excellent (and I mean that sincerely) handling of the French president’s state dinner including her style choices, and so on.

There is a reason we watch First Lady fashion and while it’s far from the most important thing to talk about right now, it’s not insignificant or incorrect to talk about it.

The jacket in question.

Is this a signal of disdain to immigrants? Is it a signal of disdain for her own husband and his policies? Is she supporting the administration? Is she trying to embarrass it from inside the house? Is she triggering the media? Is she pandering to the media? It’s aggressively ambiguous and open to interpretation. I’m almost perversely tempted to tip my hat to this EXPERT trolling/attempt to seize control of/disrupt the narrative, and I have no idea what her intentions are.

I wish we could all let go of the silly idea that she’s a beautiful-but-dumb woman trapped in her marriage. She’s long been willing to play second fiddle to her diva partner but she has never, ever struck me as unintelligent. She’s also not lived in Trump world this long without learning how to use its tricks and The Art of the Headfake is a classic Trump move. It’s wild to think that if her husband were half a subtle as she, he might be twice as effective. Dreadful thought.

2018 Oscars Gown Rundown

“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.”
— Rachel Zoe

This was a fairly staid year for the Oscars, which was probably appropriate seeing as how the industry has been rocked by a series of scandals at the highest levels of influence and power. Several of the speeches and acts throughout the night acknowledged the tensions and conversations without our society at the moment, but of course the clothes carried much of the action in their own right.

On the whole I found this a much less boring year style-wise than we have seen recently and there were a lot style themes to enjoy: women warriors, men in color, experimentation in volume (not all of them good…), and in many cases a sense of play. While the results didn’t always work, I’m glad to see more experimentation this year and hope it’s a sign of things to come in fashion and red carpetry in an age of #MeToo, #TimesUp, demands for better and more diverse representation, and diverse stories.

Enough pontificating! Sharpen you claws, my darlings, it’s time to opine on people’s fashion choices!

The Good

Gal Gato does a mix between a flapper and a superhero get up and I love it!

 

 

Screen legend and EGOT winner Rita Moreno chose to wear the gown she wore to the 1962 Oscars where she took home a trophy for West Side Story. There aren’t enough bow downs in the world. She is the very definition of a grand dame!

Mary J. Blige looked sublime in this frock. Apparently she is coming out of a nasty divorce and I can’t help but seen something of armor in her beaded bodice. Amazonian in the best possible way.

 

Jane Fonda in Balmain. Bitch don’t age.

 

Greta Gerwig in Rodarte which brought a much needed sense of lightness and whimsy to a fairly serious red carpet in an introspective season. Rodarte is notoriously difficult as a design house and many of their creations don’t seem to work off the catwalk, but the designers seem to have found a better rhythm lately and this one of the best of their work I’ve seen in a long time. Sunlight in frock form!

 

Danai Guira has been rocking a glorious warrior woman aesthetic for the whole of the Black Panther premier campaign and it has been fabulous to watch. So I think this choice of an almost demure princess-y gown in a highly feminine pink was a smart design move to flip the script of her recent red carpet narrative. It’s a relative “simply” gown but I had to show the Watteau pleats in the back to show how well constructed it is. Those jewels are to die for and the general of the Dora Milaje slipped out with just a touch of warpaint!

 

Lupita Nyong’o, meanwhile, went full glamazon! Her first Oscar gown was a beautiful Armani cloud that was light, ethereal, and dreamlike in its quality. She could not have flipped her own script more. This, much like some of the other styling I saw throughout the night, felt a bit like armor. I can’t help but get the sense that the women of Hollywood came dressed to do battle and, since they literally use clothes as communication for a living, I take that as a sign of things to come. Excellent.

Paz Vega does the correct amount of whacky in Christopher Bu. This could have gone utterly off the riles, but works for me in a weird way because she kept her styling so minimal.

Like I’m not going to show love to either Octavia Spencer or an emerald gown!

 

The Bad

The fun bit!

Maya Rudolph, representing the nation of Gilead…

When bad gowns happen to brilliant actresses… Sally Hawkins brought a very recognizable British nonchalance to the red carpet. It’s a grossly sweeping statement, but I find that there is a difference in how American actors and their international counterparts treat the red carpet. In the US, it’s very literally part of the job of being a star. Negotiations for pieces and the careful, coordinated use of clothing in promoting a film is a real industry making serious money. This isn’t to say that film stars of other nationalities don’t do the same, but I see less intensity from international stars (particularly those with a stag background, as so many of the best British actors have). You get the sense that they just aren’t going to Botox and constrict themselves within an inch of their lives, wear treacherous shoes, or frankly just make more of a fuss than they personally want to for a red carpet. Not even the Oscars. While I’m personally very supportive in theory, the Oscars (for better or worse) have a great deal with how you choose to look or present yourself to the industry and I don’t think this gown was a good choice.

Emily Blunt is harnessed into a Victorian nightgown here. The color and the lace effects look drab and silly. A different color with different accents (leather or metal for instance) would have changed this whole look around.

 

Zendaya is a magnificently beautiful young woman who looks as if she’s been shipwrecked and forced to swath herself in the remains of sails and riggings. Her face looks incredible, but the rest of this is dreadful.

I am an unabashed Emma Stone fan, but this was simply a bad choice for the Oscars. If she wanted to wear a lady tux, she should have gone the Evan Rachel Wood route or something, this getup feels like she couldn’t be bothered to dress up for the event. Since her gown last year was my favorite look of the night, this felt like a let down. A shiny, badly ironed let down.

This is…a lot of look, Taraji P. Henson. Look, far be it from me to shame women for dressing sexily, but I’d suggest either side cutouts, or a dangerous thigh slit. Both feels like too much. The fabric choice, art treatments, and general shape make this look more like a costume to me than couture.

Bad prom dress with an awful hem. Awful.

I adore Saorise Ronan’s acting but this Calvin Klein didn’t work for me at all. But C., you cry, what of Danai Guira’s gown you praised just moments ago! Well, guys, that was better rendered than this. The color choice (with a monochromatic shoe) washes her out badly and her makeup and hair could have been much bolder in contrast to the relative simplicity of the gown. This is case of poor styling making a basic gown bad.

 

 

The Ugly

There is a theme to this category this year and it’s “too much.” Everything that I hated this year was overdesigned, overly weird (and let the record show that there is a good way to do weird on the red carpet), or

Whoopi Goldberg…your team dressed you in a bad curtains or bed sheets and badly rumpled ones at that. Fire them all instantly.

 

St Vincent…what happened to your pants? This is what should be called “pulling a Bjork,” and while I’m all supportive and for more eccentric dressing, this goes well passed that and straight into whacky.

Amatus Sami-Karim makes me sad here because I’d love to see a colorful motif dress just blow the competition away, but this dress feels badly overdesigned in every way. There are too many elements that don’t seem to go together: the pearl studded mesh sleeves that aren’t sheer enough to be sheer or opaque enough to go with the rest of the gown, the train treatment clearly is supposed to be feathers but just looks messy, and the fabric choice looks cheap when I’m sure this thing was bloody expensive. Render this in white matte silk with a more cohesive sleeve treatment, and let that colorful embroidery sing, and this could have been a contender. The hair and makeup, however, are stunning. So is Mahershela Ali, while we’re being honest.

Salma Hayek was done no favors by Gucci, this was bad top to bottom. Seriously, go google some more images of this thing, it’s Not Good. Another case of far too many design elements all competing and clashing with one another and leaving its wearer much the worse off.

 

The Best Dressed

Allison Janey in Reem Acra looking downright, goddamn regal. It reminds me a lot of Lupita Nyongo’s red caped Ralph Lauren at the Golden Globes a couple of years back, which is a compliment all around, I think. The jewels are simple and stunning, the hair and makeup excellent, and the color simply but bold. The sleeves are allowed to do all the talking and they sing.

 

THE BOYS

Do you know what? Let’s hear it for the boys! A lot of men showed up and spoke up about the media year in review, including the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, which is nothing but good. And in more frivolous news, a bunch of them ditched the standard black tux this year and actually did something interesting in their fashion choices. More experimental male fashion! More color! Less heteronormative rigidity!

Daniel Kaluuya does Col. Mustard in the best possible way!

Tom Holland does British tailoring. He looks adorably serious.

Armie Hammer does red velvet. I and a seeming lot of lady Twitter all felt pretty good about this (*waves hand to encompass Mr. Hammer’s entirety) whole situation.

Chadwick Boseman. Long live the king!

Timothee Chalamet actually makes a white tux wearable and not a horrible 80s tribute.

You know what, Adam Rippon? Go for it. Fetishwear on the red carpet and shoes without socks, you let your freak flag fly, sir.

What I Bought This Month

“When you don’t dress like everyone else, you don’t have to think like everyone else.”
― Iris Apfel

As we begin to wind down style month here, as promised, is an account of what I’ve bought since my shopping ban lifted. Though I’m not going to make a formal commitment (my next ban won’t be until next year), I’m going to make this the last round of personal purchases for a long time. Jeff is looking to buy a new suit and possibly a sports coat (his vice of choice), while I want to continue to shop my own closet the way I have been for the past few months. Now that I’ve done a few clear outs and a bit a streamlining to both my wardrobe and my bathroom shelf, I’m more happy than ever with what I already have. My trusty, long running list of items I’d like to buy has had a couple of ticks put in it, and even more items eliminated as I reevaluated my needs. Only three items remains, and in the case of all of them I’m happy to wait a few months before buying them.

And so, what needs and indulgences made the cut? Read on!

Bite Prismatic Pearl Creme Lip Gloss
A pure indulgence that I didn’t need, but wanted a great deal. I was as a magpie drawn to shimmer and I don’t regret it in the slightest!

 photo 2017-04-23 18.00.59_zpsjuoajnap.jpg
Phone photos don’t do these beauties justice. The shimmer is strong!

Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance Palette
My eye makeup stash had a gap I wanted to rectify: lack of color. While I had a few dashes of pigment in my supplementary bits and pieces, my eye shadow collection was overwhelmingly neutral. Since my eyes are green, I knew I wanted something with red and purple tones in it to play up the color, and I’d wanted this palette for a long time. Add a coupon code to the mix, and I snapped it up. And I solemnly swear not to buy any more eyeshadows until I’ve hit pan on what I’ve got.

 photo 2017-04-23 18.01.43_zpsbkorf6kg.jpg
The whole thing was supposedly inspired by the tones found in Renaissance paintings. Which means that from the get go, it had my name written all over it.

A vintage faux fur coat
While Etsy-scanning I stumbled upon a coat designed in the 80s but looked like it was from the 20s and looked like something a flush bootlegger’s girlfriend would swan about in. I required it. Many thanks to Katarina who is coming to visit this summer; I enlisted her aid in conveying it to me when she does and she, darling that she is, agreed. Also, you’ve got a hint as to one of my perpetual style inspirations in the screengrab: Agatha Christie murder mysteries. That Interwar period look gives me life.

 photo File 23-04-2017 18 07 39_zpsewhnx88c.jpg
I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to winter now!

Everlane tops and jumper
Everlane had one of their international shipping promotions and so I picked up some replacement t-shirts (all of my current t-shirts were a couple of years old and stretched or sagging in less than flattering ways). There are few joys quite like fresh cotton, whether new shirts or clean sheets! I also picked up a jumper and a summer top. I’d like to get a couple of their silk tops for work, but am biding my time until another international promotion comes around. I didn’t snap photos of these because, let’s face it, I’m not a style blogger and lack some of the basic skills!

Joy skirt
I’d wanted a mid length skirt for a while. I found one with both pockets and with a designed in a repeating pattern of lipstick tubes. I really don’t feel like I need to explain this any further.

 photo 2017-04-23 18.02.40_zpsz4zuv9rn.jpg
I mean, seriously, come on!

Apart from the personal purchases, the thing I’m really happy we bought this month are two vintage chairs for the house. We bought a very nice couch and bedroom set when we moved to our current apartment and new it would be several months before we could afford to buy anything else in furnishing it. The waiting has been boring and I’m impatient. But at long last we found a beautiful pair in the style we liked and in our price range. It will be another few months before we can buy our next piece, but these beauties will hold me over I think.

 photo 2017-04-22 14.39.50 HDR_zpsktgoik9a.jpg

Use What You’ve Got: The Psychology of Shopping Your Closet

“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.”
― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

Based on an unscientific gathering of stories from my friends, coworkers, and pals, I’m convinced we all have great stuff in our closets that we don’t use. There can be a lot of good reasons not to wear what we’ve got, which is a topic for another day, but today I want to focus on the bad excuses for not using what we already own. Or at least one in particular: the “I bought it special” excuse.

I’m going to push the boat out and just say that if you’re saving unworn items in your closet for “special occasions” (with exceptions of somer event-wear) you’ve wasted your money or let your emotions do your shopping for you. I used to be a particularly bad offender of this and would buy clothing that I wanted to wear…but never got around to wearing because I didn’t think I had the right occasions to do so.

 photo liberty_zps2kzfaupw.jpg

In some cases, I had indeed purchased irrelevant items, which was due to me not really having a handle on what my actual clothing needs were for my then-lifestyle. But in other cases, I’d purchased clothing that could be considered aspirational. It was a bit nicer than my other items, more dressy, a different style, or just out of my current comfort zone. I loved them, but I bought them thinking that I needed to wait for the “right time” to wear some of them, that they were “too good” for my day-to-day casual life, or that wearing them would require some effort. Hilarious since, in retrospect, what I was purchasing five or even ten years ago was fairly cheap all things considered.

I no longer subscribe to this way of thinking at all. Not only is wasteful as a consumer (many of my purchases of yore ended up sold, donated, or given to friends unworn at some point), but I simply don’t see the point in owning something if you don’t wear or use it. You’re missing out on a good deal of easy pleasure and contentment with your wardrobe, and often adding a lurking sense of disappointment, guilt, or sheepishness about owning things you don’t touch.

For example, a couple of years ago I’d saved up to purchase a nice work handbag which I’d researched, considered for a long time, and found an amazing deal on.  I’d bought it specifically to upgrade my professional wardrobe and knew how I wanted to use it with my existing clothes, but for a long time was afraid to take it out of its dustbag. What if it got scratched or smudged? What if I dinged the hardware? What if I scuffed it? I was so nervous about putting any wear and tear on it, that I failed utterly to use it. It sat, reproachfully, in my closet for months before I confronted myself about it.

Of course I would need to care for it more carefully than I would a cheaper item, but eventually I had to acknowledge that any bag, no matter how coddled, was going to show signs of use. That’s what happens with any item, even a well tended one. In the end, I decided I either needed to resell the bag, or actually use it the way I had purchased it to be used. I chose the latter. And then I went through my closet and ruthlessly applied the same rationale to another of other items. That Liberty scarf in the image above was another similar victim of overcaution. Originally bought to celebrate a raise, I had almost never worn it out of worry that I’d damage it in some way. There were at least five other pieces of clothing or accessories that had similar excuses attached to their lack of use.

Far from having nothing to wear–a common complaint uttered when staring mournfully into a wardrobe–I just hadn’t been giving myself permission to wear what I wanted…and already had.

I own fewer items of clothing than I did while at university and my early 20s, but what I own now is of much better quality. More importantly, everything is worn regularly, including my more expensive pieces. I’m willing to occasionally fork out for beautiful vintage or consignment designer pieces, but only if I commit to myself to actually use them. I’m no longer worried about wearing them out–I’ve learned to take better care of my clothing over all, and I’ve come to the healthier mental place of acknowledging that ultimately, as beautiful as they are, they are just things. I get more satisfaction from my treasured pieces by letting them see the light of day than I do from looking at them on a hanger.

Don’t get me wrong, aspirational clothing still has its place (I’ve found the adage of “dressing for the job you want” to be a useful one), but I maintain it is no good to you hanging in a closet. Use it. Your wallet will be grateful and your mirror will be flattering, I promise.

Your turn. Have you every had items languish in your closet? What were your reasons for buying but not wearing? Are there any items which could do with a bit more love?