Category: Friends

Friends, Humor, Movies

To the Secret Lab!

“Wait, was this woman scary beyond all reason?”
“Oh yeah!”
– The Emperor’s New Groove

Freshman year I had a roommate, Georgie, who was awesome wrapped around a slice of fabulous.  She wrote a show our entire dorm performed, had all sorts of scholarships, and the good fairy had blessed her with a wittiness of the lung-busting-laughing variety.  We’ve kept in touch as best we can, she married now with a little boy and we live nowhere near one another.

She had a theory, one which in my life experience has yet to be disproved, that read thus: any incident may be summed up or perfectly accompanied by a quote from the Emperor’s New Groove.  Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon?
Bad makeup day?  “Llama face!”
Crisis of conscience?  “My shoulder angel.”
Someone invading your personal space?  “No touchy!”
So mad you can’t function?  “I gotta go wash something.”

Invariably handy!

Yesterday Hennessy and I took a break and wandered over to the campus book store on the hunt for calendars (oh the thrilling life of a secretary!).  While making our way back we came across her.

The woman was stretched like taffy, extremely long and freakishly thin.  Her face was almost pentagonal, her cheek bones jutting out sharply on each side.  She’d obviously had “work done” because her skin was stretched taunt over her visage in a way that does not appear in nature, her skull looked a size too small beneath it.  She was dressed in something long, tight, and purple.  She was accompanied by a large hulking man.

Hennessy and I made it past her without comment but when we were safely out of hearing, she turned to me and said one word.  “Yzma.”

I leaked an unflattering snort as I tried to keep from laughing.
“Living proof that dinosaurs roamed the earth,” I gasped.
“What is keeping this woman together?” Hennessy returned immediately.

Georgie’s theory is still holding strong.

Friends, Humor, Office

Best Dressed

“If you go to a costume party at your boss’s house, wouldn’t you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss’s wife? Trust me, it’s not.”
– Jack Handy

Costume time!

One fifties girl, a teacher/maiden aunt, two babies, Spiderman, and Liz Lemmon.
An Identity Crisis (note: HAHAHAHA!)
A costume from Pakistan, Identity Crisis (again, because I think it's hilarious), and yours truly as Joan Holloway!

So far we have also seen, two Avatar people (the blue ones), one Lord Voldemort, and several Waldos (as “Where’s…”).  Also a green plastic army guy, a BP oil spill, and the entire Monty Python crew.

And, speaking of clothes, the winner of our giveaway is…

Amanda who said her favorite thing about herself was: “my skin tone. I’m extremely white, but I’ve got enough on my mom’s olive hues to pull off pretty much any hair color. And changing up the hair is fun stuff.”

Congratulations Amanda!  I’ll be contacting you to ship your prize to you!

Friends, Humor, Life, Weekend

Small Dog Takes You ‘Round the Internets

“Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others are not; and that the two kinds are mostly oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.”
– Christopher Morely

Truthfully, my loves, nothing interesting has happened since the Anti-Harassment Seminar.  I’ve been wracking my brains for something to entertain you with but, alas, I’m coming up short.  Accept, instead, this humble offering of some of the things Google Reader has saved my sanity with this stupidly dull Friday afternoon.  Enjoy!

Fabulous friend Lauren – who writes a blog about buying and updating a “little farmhouse in the big city, which you should totally be reading – writes a post about water for Blog Action Day

Bobby Pin Blog – vintage style prettiness

Dress, Design, Decor – just what it sounds like

Fabulous friend Janssen reviews everything worth reading and occasionally expands your world with recipes, stories, and even photos of her completely lovable little daughter.

Need to chuckle?  Check out the sometimes silly, sometimes chic headgear of those crazy Aussies going to the races.

Do you love history?!  And I’m assuming you do, since we’re friends.  It would be a shame to lose you…anyway, check out The History Blog – with a new story everyday about something from the past being dragged into the present.  Estate sales at Chatsworth, shipwrecks being raised, or (recently) a lost Vivaldi manuscript turning up in Scotland.

Do you love medieval history?  Or at least funny tales, quips, and snarky tales of saints and sinners complete with Monty Python-esqe commentary and improbably illuminated manuscripts?  Read here.

Get thee to a nunnery!  Here’s a blog written by the sisters of a Stateside convent that will make you feel that the contemplative life might me more busy than you could handle.

Noble Pig – one of the best food blogs I’ve ever found, I inevitably start drooling on my keyboard whenever they post a new recipe.

And finally!   Every once and a while something comes into your life, usually through the efforts of a very good friend, that you had no idea existed but now that you do, you can’t live without:

My father used to retreat to his armchair sometimes and read Calvin and Hobbes comics by himself.  And within minutes this quiet but incessant giggle would be heard tiptoeing its way round the house.  It makes my mother and I crack up every time we hear it.  And, ladies and gentlemen, I have found my personal equivelent (although for me, it’s more like side splitting, lung busting bouts of uproarious laughter that must make the neighbors hate me).  Behold!  Hyperbole And A Half!

Have a lovely weekend, piglets!

Family, Friends, Humor, Life

In Which C. Debates the Wisdom of Copying Sav’s Awesomness

“You can watch this while I find someone who will perform a marriage ceremony between a crazed fan and a celebrity teen hostage. To the Internet!”
– The Fairly Odd Parents

Savvy just did something which, considered in light of current societal attitudes and the fact that a movie title The Social Network was just released, is quite brave.  She deleted her Facebook.  Apparently it took hours of dogged, single-minded determination and clicking, but she did it.

 

"Honestly, C., had you no life at all?!" "I'm SORRY!"

 

I confess, I’ve toyed with the idea myself.  Truthfully, the hours I’ve spent on that ridiculous thing will shame me when we’re all dead and get to watch the Big Movie of our lives.

However, I have a qualm.  Surprisingly I do use Facebook for its original intent: to keep track of people.  Having trucked over the world, keeping in touch with people can be a chore.  It’s the same reason why I’ve never changed my Hotmail address: I got it when I was 12 or 13 and across the years have given it out to friends/contacts/employers in multiple countries.  It’s the only way I keep in touch with a whole army of correspondents, I couldn’t do something so stupid as to change it simply because Gmail is en vogue (yes, yes, and better, yes I heard you).

Frankly, though, as the years have gone by, I’ve winnowed down my own social network quite a bit.  Scarlett, Peregrine, Jane, and Venice are far off, but I still communicate with them regularly.  Margot, Marie, Tink, and Angel, though busy, are still nearby.  The majority of people I see everyday… I see everyday: Hennessy, Wise, Susie, Sav, and Vodka, as well as the traffic clerks.  I regularly bump into Sadie on campus and we often get together with my whole godfamily to play, usually at least once a month.  And now that my parents live on the same continent as I do, keeping in touch with them has never been easier.

So…what do I really use Facebook for?

Honestly, the occasional glimpse into long gone friends’ lives (once every six months), to keep in touch with Gio as he heads off into his first year of adventure at university (daily), and to play stupid games (also daily, shamefully). In other words, with very few exceptions, nothing really valuable.

I don’t know if I have the moral fortitude to completely go cold turkey as the indomitable Sav did…but I am thinking that I really need to start weaning myself off it.

 

And how many of these behaviors/tendencies have you displayed recently?

 

Make your voices heard, minions!  Have you ever rethought your relationship with your techie relationships?  How many people would simply vanish from your life if you ditched Facebook, Twitter, and whatever bastard cousin of theirs has popped up recently?  And would you miss these people if they melted away?  How much of your life would disappear, and how much of it would you get back if you tuned out?  Weigh in.

Family, Friends, Humor, Life, Work

TGIF, etc.

“There aren’t enough days in the weekend.”
– Rod Schmidt

Today I realized that, what with the insane week I’ve had at work/home/any other plane of existence that temporarily escapes me, I could not – for the life of me – remember whether or not I’d paid our October rent!  On my lunch break I scampered over to our flat’s managers.  She answered the door in her pajamas with scary hair and a sick-to-her-stomach looking face.  Turns out, she’s pregnant and was having a miserably week to – and apparently so were a lot of other people living in our building because she waived the $15 late fee, citing life.

Excellent.

Also!  Today was the first day I’ve worn a coat to work.  It’s Fall!  It’s my sister-in-law’s birthday so we’re going to her house this evening for cake.  Tomorrow I get to play with Fairy and GS (whom I haven’t seen in weeks) for a lovely Ladies Only Afternoon.  Last night I wore my chenille house slippers and made my first real cup of tea in a long time (with a teapot, as it was intended to be).  J. is playing with the guys tonight so I think I will make a steaming pot of corn chowder and watch a movie.

The week’s almost over, poodles!  Chins up!

Friends, Humor, Marriage, Wedding

Le Reception!

“When the bride is one with her lover, who cares about the wedding party?”
– Kabir

I left work at 12 on Thursday to head an hour north to Marie’s home to set up for the reception.  I didn’t get home until nearly midnight.  It was quite the event!

The single other bridesmaid I actually knew (who is an absolute darling!). And yes, she is a foot taller than me.

Sadly I’m afraid I didn’t really get on with the other bridesmaids and attendants.  Nothing malicious, you understand!  It’s just that not a lot can trump shared history and the other girls had heaps of it.  I did overhear one girl say that she had known Marie longer than me and should have been a bridesmaid instead, which sort of was a downer, but one I didn’t take too seriously as there was probably some truth to that.  They’d all grown up together in the same neighborhood, lived together for years at school, etc.  By comparison I was a babe in arms, as far as Marie’s friendship was concerned!  But then again, she asked me (hurrah!) and I was resolved to be the best damned bridesmaid the world has ever seen.

Pretty!

So, after a couple awkward failed attempts to join conversations about people I didn’t know, I contented myself with jumping up and down on lantern stakes to drive them into the turf, setting up tables, hanging garlands, whipping up massive gauzy decorations, organizing boys for heavy lifting, carting gifts about, and arranging flowers – all of which suited me perfectly.

There a few mishaps, the boys recruited by the groom (severely underestimating the amount of work that needed to be done) didn’t show up as early as we would have liked.  And that darling other bridesmaid up there?  Well, we sort of had to construct her dress from the pieces of two or three other dresses.  What you can’t tell in that picture is that it is fearfully and wonderfully made – the safety pins colored with sharpies, the cinching, the half dozen people draping fabric and wrapping ribbon – it was quite the project!  But it was a great joke because it turned out so well, no one but those involved were the wiser.

In fact, everything turned out gorgeously, we were thrilled.  And more importantly, so was the glowing bride!

*Hopefully I’ll be able to get more pictures of the day from Marie when she gets back from her honeymoon.  Congratulations, love!

Friends, Humor, Wedding

Marie’s Shower

“Is there anything better than drunken sailor bowling?”
– Shower Guest

As it was a tea party, her Majesty arrived arrived in grand style with the latest in fashionable hat-wear:

The guests were entertained with all manner of wit, games, and conversation (how’s this for a coincidence!  One of the guests was a girl who I knew at five years old and met in Germany.  She’s now living in the States and pregnant with her second child…small world, n’est pas?):

And the food was the height of luxury, each item accompanied with a quote specific to the food it graced.  My favorite: “Cheese is milk’s leap towards immortality.”

Family, Friends, Humor, Life, Weekend

Ducklings, I Haven’t Forgotten You…

“I’ve got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom.”
-Thomas Carlyle

This past week/weekend:

-Marie had a bridal shower, reception, wedding, and luncheon (Wed., Thurs., and Friday respectively)
-We had our school’s Football season opener (and won!)
-Labor Day, several hours of which I spent throwing nieces and nephews around on a trampoline
-I bought food for the first time in over a week
-Ate a full meal…which seemed like the first time in over a week
-I didn’t sleep more than five hours a night, and apparently started grinding my teeth in my sleep (according to J.)
-Fall showed up.  Seriously.  I turned around and there it was with sweaters, boots, and temperatures plummeting thirty degrees.  Unlike most people I know, I’m thrilled because Fall is my favorite season
-Had a perma-migraine

Weddings, even fabulous ones like Marie's, can have unforeseen consequences.

So instead of updating you as was clearly my duty and your right, my loves, I spent last night in flannel pajama pants, dosed with pain killers, and watching Emma – not sharing pictures from the wedding.  Every once and a while I lurched to the kitchen for sustenance, but only at moments of near death.  Apologies, but I really wasn’t fit for anything else.

I’ll get them up today, I promise.  And I’ll never neglect you like that again.

Friends, Humor, Wedding

The Queen of Hearts…

“There is no use trying,” said Alice, “one cannot believe impossible things.”
“I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.  “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day.  Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!”
– Lewis Carroll

Marie’s shower is tonight!  I’ve been up late two days baking and Hennessy wonderfully let me shop on her Costco card yesterday to procure sundry necessities.  Trying to figure out the menu and organize it within budget and time (that lived up to my grandiose schemes for my friend, she isn’t named after Marie Antoinette for nothing!) was difficult, and at one point I despaired and thought it impossible…

But then I found these, and I knew it was going to the social event of the season!

Queen of Hearts, indeed!
Food, Friends, Fun, Humor, Wedding

Tea. Party. (No, not that kind!)

“There is no Latin word for tea?  Upon my soul, if I had known that I would have let the vulgar stuff alone.”
– Hilaire Belloc

Remember when Marie got engaged the Great Bridesmaid Dress Affair that followed?  Well the dresses have been chosen and they are to die for (check them out here).  And then think of that metallic green monstrosity with the horrid bow on the bum that your sister/university roommate/friend/sister-in-law made you don and weep.  Having friends with excellent taste is a great comfort.

Now, with dates set, gown ordered, and food presumably taken care of, it falls on us, the bridesmaids, to throw the most fabulous fête ever conceived by man.  This is going to be so grand and event that it’s taking three of us, coordinating from three separate states to get it going.

And what else would it be, than a traditional English Tea Party, dragged into the 21st century?  I’m in charge of food and sundry other tasks (as I’m currently the only one in the same state as the bride).

And, as Marie reads this blog, the following information will be have to be somewhat censored.  The menu will include (nothing to see here) and (move along) and of course (nuh-uh).  The decorations will be done all in (bleep) and (sound effect from Deadliest Catch), isn’t that gorgeous?  The girls and I have come up with a fantastic (lalalalala!) so we can (ahem) and Marie can enjoy the (sshhnnkk!  Message for you, sir!).

Aren't we informative?

Doesn’t it sound fabulous?