“There is no Latin word for tea? Upon my soul, if I had known that I would have let the vulgar stuff alone.”
– Hilaire Belloc
Remember when Marie got engaged the Great Bridesmaid Dress Affair that followed? Well the dresses have been chosen and they are to die for (check them out here). And then think of that metallic green monstrosity with the horrid bow on the bum that your sister/university roommate/friend/sister-in-law made you don and weep. Having friends with excellent taste is a great comfort.
Now, with dates set, gown ordered, and food presumably taken care of, it falls on us, the bridesmaids, to throw the most fabulous fête ever conceived by man. This is going to be so grand and event that it’s taking three of us, coordinating from three separate states to get it going.
And what else would it be, than a traditional English Tea Party, dragged into the 21st century? I’m in charge of food and sundry other tasks (as I’m currently the only one in the same state as the bride).
And, as Marie reads this blog, the following information will be have to be somewhat censored. The menu will include (nothing to see here) and (move along) and of course (nuh-uh). The decorations will be done all in (bleep) and (sound effect from Deadliest Catch), isn’t that gorgeous? The girls and I have come up with a fantastic (lalalalala!) so we can (ahem) and Marie can enjoy the (sshhnnkk! Message for you, sir!).
“Ah, here it is. Here’s our theme. Here’s our answer. Pink. I want dresses made up in this pink. Babs, take this to Kaiser Delmont. I want shoes and stockings in this color. Laura, everything goes pink. I want the whole issue pink. I want the whole country pink! Lettie, take an editorial, ‘To the women of America-” No, make it, ‘To the women everywhere.’ Banish the black, burn the blue, and bury the beige.” – Funny Face, 1957
Suddenly the shoe is on the other foot and I’m the one bridesmaid dress shopping. And again, Shabby Apple (which has just launched their new bridesmaid line!) may save my butt, it depends on whether Marie will be having all us girls in the same outfit or just the same color.
And what color could that possibly be for the bride who loves argyle, pearls, knee-socks, and perfect hair? Pink of course!
I wish I wasn’t so technologically hopeless, I’d post pictures of the dresses I’ve found so far, but here are the links.
“Would you like to be one of my bridesmaids?”
“I’d be honored!”
“Bridesmaid…bridesmatron…? What are you?”
“I’m not loving matron.”
“How about attendant?”
“Yes, that sounds appropriately royal! I’d be honored to be your attendant!”
– Marie and C.
Marie announced her engagement publically a couple of days ago, I got the good news early and bounced around enthusiastically in my parking lot (so as not to become the Stompingtons to my downstairs neighbors). Then I emailed my mother and told her to ship over as many bridal magazines from the UK that she could get her hands on. Marie tried a few months ago to steal the ones I trucked home with me to use for my own wedding, the minx. I was thrilled to be able to send off for some of her own!
Then yesterday Hennessy texted me to say that we get to start making wedding plans for her as well. And she walked in today with what I can only guess is a small, sparkly country on her left hand. None of us in the office got any work done between 9 and 10 this morning. Congratulations, Hennessy! It’s a stunner!
Surprisingly, I’ve found I get lots more enthusiastic over my friends weddings than I did my own and I always love being included, whether it’s agonizing over flower arrangements, or being in the wedding party. I love seeing my friends happy and will cheerfully bend over backwards for them.
Also, I am deeply aware that the only reason my own wedding came together so well was because of the tireless effort and indefatigable support of this fantastic network of friends. Daae offered endless tips from her days working for a wedding planner, Catriona helped me stuff envelopes for hours on end, Venice went dress shopping and helped me check out the venue, Peregrine flew cross-country to be a part of the event and drove hither and yon with Snickers to pick up flowers, Fairy housed my parents and siblings and attended every single party associated with the wedding from the bridal shower to the reception, Marie supplied food, drink, and blotting papers throughout the day in spite of not feeling up to snuff…the sucess of the whole day is a tribute to lots and lots of people doing me and J. a great many favors.
“Look for the woman in the dress; if there is no woman, there is no dress.”
It never fails. Whenever I recommit to frugality (and, though I don’t mind spending money, I already do live well within my limits) I remember something I need to buy, find a place that tempts me to dump money into it, or go shopping with Venice. Usually some combination of the three.
Last night was the third option. I told the girls I asked to be bridesmaids long ago that I want them to pick out a dress they liked, that flattered them, and that they could wear again…I had no idea it would mean frantic searching and agony on their part, I thought I was doing something nice! Venice and I went on the hunt for bridesmaids dresses, and since we live in wedding central, we reasoned, surely there must be something. Two hours later we had encountered monstrosity after monstrosity (long, hunter’s orange, chiffon with a BOW! I didn’t know they actually were legally able to sell something that ugly!) and I could tell she was getting frustrated enough to chew nails! David’s Bridal was explored and discarded, some pretty dresses but ridiculously priced and the alterations would cost a separate fortune. Other bridal shops were the same, the dresses in varying degrees of loath-ability. We’re about the same height (aka short) and let me tell you, no one makes pretty petite bridesmaids dresses. In fact, I’d say that very few people make pretty petite clothing for women in their early twenties period, but that’s an entirely different rant for another day. As if finding a nice bridesmaids dress wasn’t a chore to begin with, finding one in a “specialty size” was pretty near impossible, we continue to be confounded by our height (or lack thereof).
Finally we through in the towel (after we had both stopped into Anchor Blue for flip flops because we both needed a pair, were still both in our work heels, and dying) and slumped home in defeat. Then! At 10 o’clock she called (ironic, since we now live two doors down from one another) and I hurried over to see this marvelous site: Shabby Apple. Another friend had introduced me to it months ago but the memory of it was long gone. It’s a small business run out of Salt Lake City, UT and they sell nothing but fabulous dresses! She found one she really liked (it’s so classy, and not something vile that one tosses in the back of a closet never to be seen again) so we ordered it and we’re now a step closer to being done with this whole parade!
…of course, there were repercussions…I’ve had next to nothing to do at work today so I spent the day cruising the website, having to physically restrain myself from whipping out the credit card! I’m currently drooling over a few and debating which to buy first when I’m no longer out of my I’m-getting-married-and-have-better-things-to-spend-my-money-on hell. …that and today I’m buying a pair of stunning emerald earrings to wear on the big day. A girl can’t have everything. At least not all at once.
For your horror/viewing pleasure you may check out the following. I can’t belive so many people are this cruel to their friends!