Weekend Links

“Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had this week off on holiday, which is good news because I start the new gig tomorrow. Having some time to rest and recalibrate has been enormously welcome. I spent a couple of days just catching up on sleep, housework, the September issues, news, and friends, then I hit the road and spent a couple of days taking meetings and catching up with fellow freelance types and friends because it’s back to the hustle, kids.

Here are your links, time to gear up for the week!

Source: Buzzfeed News
#girlboss              Source: Buzzfeed News

Oh, good grief

In better news, we all “got this.” I also have the gif saved for future reference.

I’ve been in a bit of a workaholic phase lately and I’m working now to recover from that mindset as I dive into a new job that I’m committed to, but trying to have a better, smarter life balance over all. Caitlin sent me some light reading on the topic.

Hilary Clinton’s merch is on point. I require this notebook, for one.

So, horses are X-Men?

Friend and fellow expat Caitlin (in China) wrote a great post about her shifting relationship with stuff.

These are amazing and I think I need to stock up immediately. Wouldn’t they make fabulous gifts?!

Spot of murder anyone?

I swear, there’s a decent argument that social media is killing the internet

So much want. (h/t Caitlin again)

More expat thoughts from another former expat chum.

Food Find: Hawker House

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
― Orson Welles

We happened across Street Feast entirely by accident–specifically we saw a ton of (I assume) event goers decked out in 1940s dress with a military theme apparently heading into a venue once. Then I did some googling out of curiosity. Then I discovered the conglomerate of street food venues scattered throughout the city, one of which was nicely near our apartment. Meet Hawker House!

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In winter the food is indoors and heat lamps keep people cozy, in summer the party moves outside to food trucks.

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Burgers, brisket, tacos, barbecue, Korean food, deserts, Pizza, and mixed grill all mingle happily.

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Hello brisket, my old friend. You have been missed.

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Lipstick Pilgrimage

“All my life I’ve pursued the perfect red.”
—Diana Vreeland

One of the highlights of my trip to New York was the day X and I spent out and about indulging in some beauty therapy of the old school variety: cosmetics. Custom ones at that!

For some context, apart from sharing what is now pushing two decades of inside jokes, adoptive family titles that we take very seriously, university experiences, spiritual journeys, unexpected career paths, and any number of binding overlaps, we also share an unholy love of lipstick. It is a rare text or email chain that does not include a close up image captioned with the make and model of whatever shade we happen to be wearing that day. So obviously, in planning our NYC itinerary, there was one spot we had to go: the Bite Beauty Lip Lab.

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X was in need of a true coral color, I was on the hunt for the perfect blend of berry and fuchsia. Both of us wanted a highly editorial gray/greige shade that we decided to double up on because if you can’t do a custom best friend lippie than what is the point of life, I ask you? X prebooked our appointed (required) and Jeff bowed out to go hang with a university flatmate currently getting a masters at Columbia…and to do some shoe shopping.

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It’s a thing of beauty to be able to mix your own shades and amazing to see the Bite team whip up your requests expertly. I had a bad moment of doubt or two when a seemingly odd color was dropped into my swirling mash of pigment but inevitably it was precisely what the concoction needed. Shut up and let the pros work, C..

The Bite team are fantastically enthusiastically patient, mixing and tweaking and allowing customers apparently unlimited time to stare at their lips in the mirror and waffle on whether you need to go a touch warmer, cooler, redder, bluer, or whatever. It’s a good thing this place is 1) not entirely cheap, and 2) in another country otherwise the amount of my money it would otherwise suck down would be dire indeed.

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It’s not just the colors that are fun, it’s that you can customize everything from the texture to the scent using oils. I went for a creamy semi-gloss for my purple shade, and X and I decided on a matte finish with a unusual mix of oils for our scent to keep it weird, gorgeous, and unique

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If you’re still on the hunt for the perfect red (or gray, or green, or goodness knows what shade) it’s absolutely worth a visit. Plus the tiny thrill of being asked where you got your lipstick and being able to respond that it’s a creation singular to you is not to be discounted. Couture we cannot have, custom we can!

Weekend Links

“The basis of optimism is sheer terror.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

A day early kittens because I’ve got stuff to be getting on with this weekend. I’m on holiday mode this week before I start the new gig, which of course means there’s a lot to do–up to and including blogging more. So here are your links and share your weekend adventures in the comments!

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The photos from this Into The Gloss Top Shelfie are everything.

Friend of the Blog Caitlin gets honest in a personal while professionally minded post.

Friend of the Blog Teri also writes poignantly about a deeply personal loss.

Damn it!

Ah yes, those ugly, undesirable suffragettes. Ironically some of these same kinds of ideas and imagery were thrown around about myself and much better women than I who suggested wearing trousers to church would be appropriate…and the rest, as they say is very well documented history.

Instagram feed of the week: this collection of secondhand and vintage labels!

POTUS for the win.

Where were you for Cargogate 2016? (The author’s follow up to the original story is amazing, who knew the passion people felt for this piece of kit!)

This girl. Just give her the gold, man…

Speaking of, who caught the Rio 2016 Olympic Games opening ceremony? If not, the BBC is here for you.

And finally, so much news this year has been of the Sick, Sad World variety (to quote Kid Fury), so I admit fully to tearing up a bit to see this. Am I a sucker for the social theatre of sport? Sure. Did I need this moment of human optimism? Absolutely.

Weekend Links

“Oh, it’s delightful to have ambitions. I’m so glad I have such a lot. And there never seems to be any end to them– that’s the best of it. Just as soon as you attain to one ambition you see another one glittering higher up still. It does make life so interesting.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Hi kittens! It’s been a hectic couple of weeks and I have much to catch you up on, besides (hopefully) continuing the new and improved posting schedule.

To sum up, just before my holiday I got a very interesting and compelling new job offer as a marketing consultant…and I decided to take it. I handed in my month’s notice, which was very graciously accepted, and right now my major work priorities are to get as many projects successfully wrapped as I can to make my handover as smooth a transition as I can. It’s taking a lot of energy and frankly much of the good and relaxation of my break has gone straight out the window, but I’m nervously excited for this new opportunity. Full post about that coming up soon, I’m sure!

In the meantime, share any big news worth spreading of your own in the comments and enjoy your links. Monday ho!

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This week’s Not a Drill!

Mormon feminist humor warning but if that’s your thing, I died laughing because they picked the “argument” that literally makes me tear my hair out! I’ll share mine if you share yours.

And speaking of dying, what doesn’t David Attenborough make better?

Headline of the week.

In case you didn’t hear First Lady Michelle Obama’s thematically powerful, rhetorically excellent, and resounding speech this week, now is the time.

Gripping viewing.

Here. If this doesn’t make you hope for the human race, nothing will.

Anyone else tired of hearing how various women sound criticized or critiqued constantly? Not what they are saying, but the actual way all 3.5 billion of our voices sound, apparently? Me too. Though I now long for someone to label me an improbissima fema.

Big announcement from SDS fave brand Bite Beauty!

I have unintentionally started a system similar to the “bullet journal,” which I am suddenly seeing absolutely everywhere. But after reading this summary piece on Buzzfeed, my To Do system could clearly do with an upgrade!

And finally, my stress has had an uptick since I got back from holiday (obviously) and so my poor nails–long victims of nibbling or picking in times of bad stress management–have taken a beating. I’ve slapped on my first coat of polish in weeks to help repair damages (I’m more likely to notice if I’m messing up something pretty) and am trying to gather some inspiration to stay strong.

 

So, we went to NYC

‘The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere elsewhere have to be, in some sense, kidding.”
– John Updike

Since we had previous travel plans (understandably) disrupted, we decided to go to New York instead–theoretically in honor of my 30th birthday, but in fact mostly because I just really, really wanted to visit my best friend and surrogate older sister. It was a three day jaunt that was over too soon, but was very much needed.

X lives in the Upper East Side with two hilarious cats that provided the majority of our at-home entertainment (I now want a cat in spite of a mild allergy) and generously provided our base of operations. The goal was to see the “real” New York as both Jeff and I had only ever seen the moderately touristy bits and what fun is that?

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In fact, the only moderately touristy thing we did was the Met, due largely to our shared love of museums. Everything else was wandering the city with a native guide, a girls’ day whilst Jeff met up with an old university flatmate, dinner with a good friend and her husband, an unholy binge of a Sephora excursion, second hand shopping, and more food.

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My favorite girl in front of one of my favorite paintings.

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It’s hard to be away from friends and family. On our recent trip to Utah a friend asked what I missed most about the States and without any hesitation my response was, “My people. Friends.” Growing up as we did, I think my family and I are used to the notion of kin being distant and, while not being easy, it’s certainly manageable. I don’t feel particularly distant from them or their affection, which sounds odd but by which I mean I feel very secure in those relationships. I have a harder time with the fact that my best friends live in massively different time zones and small things like phone calls require pretty significant coordination. My friendships really feed me and keep me balanced–shout out to Katarina who gave me one of the most useful external party insights to my character I’ve ever received recently–and while I have close, close friends here in London, I miss the girls with whom I literally came of age. Over and over again.

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I also forgot what unrelenting sunlight felt like, as a side note. New York was blazing!

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Reader, I ate it. What, you ask? Everything.

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The benefit of having a local guide is that you get a first hand introduction to the best eats. Apparently Midtown Bagels East is something of an institution which I can enthusiastically endorse as a reputation earned. According to X, the queue at the weekend is ridiculous. We, savvy tourists that we were, went on a weekday.

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She also has the best recommendations for the weird and wacky shops for planning your next gallery wall.

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One of my favorite excursions was to the justly famous Bite Lip Lab where we were able to make custom lipsticks. A pair of self-proclaimed lippy fanatics, this was closer to a pilgrimage, really. Pricey. Worth it. Expect a full post on this in its own right.

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To be honest, before this trip, I didn’t really “get” New York. I have never romanticized it the way a lot of people do (hell, I didn’t even romanticize London so much as I just knew in my bones it was where I wanted to live), and I’ve always rather thought it was overhyped. Well, I still might not love it as much as London, but I finally get some of the appeal. It’s fast, it’s awake, and it’s almost a minor world in its own right in terms of what you can see and do. I have no idea if we’ll get to “try it out” someday as a home or a regular haunt, but I’m far more open to the idea now.

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X lives close to Central Park (her life is a trial, truly) and we took full advantage–prior to it being overrun by Pokemon Go enthusiasts. The view was…not bad.

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We ended our visit in Brooklyn at the pizza joint reputed to be Beyonce’s favorite. It’s like she’s known me for 17 years, or something.

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Pretty sure we’ll be back.

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Weekend Links

“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.”
― Elbert Hubbard

Hi ducklings, sorry for the radio silence but we’ve been on much needed holiday in the states visiting Jeff’s family. It was a holiday without major agenda aside from playing games with family, shopping, and eating (so much eating…). And thus we are now home and back on both diets and general austerity.

Here are your links, share anything you found interesting in the comments!

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The background and history of a photo that will likely turn out to be an icon.

In spite of the recent political chaos and turmoil, Larry remains on duty.

Turkey, Bangladesh, Paris…Nice

Cosmic perspective in short story form.

Obviously, the Fug Girls are doing the lord’s work with this retrospective.

A look into Beyonce’s Formation tour wardrobe, about which I know you will be just as fascinated as I was, right?!

To the moon!

And who volunteers to come thrift shopping with me for one of these?

Wonder Woman trailer, this is not a drill!

30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years

“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”
― Robert Frost

Be kind.

But…be your own first line of defense. If something is bad for you–a person, a habit, a situation, too much sugar–learn to say “no…”

Because “no” is a complete sentence.

It’s fine not to have a five year plan.

It’s okay to ask for help.

Mistakes do not a failed project, career, or life make. Messing up is inevitable and a lot less soul-destroying than anxiety often makes it appear.

It’s really nice to be liked, but not everyone is going to like you. That’s okay. Find the ones who do like you that you like back and hang out regularly.

Likewise, figure out whose good opinion truly matters to you and whose doesn’t. Prioritize accordingly.

Style matters and it’s occasionally okay to focus on the superficial. Make up is fun!

I am allowed to change my mind about desires and goals. So are other people for that matter.

Working hard is not the same thing as working smart and the former is a straight, fast shot to burnout if sustained too long…

Meaning that vacations are important. Take them. Don’t be such an puritanically-descended American. 

Ambition is not unattractive in people in general and women in particular. People who think it is have their own issues to work through.

No one is required to justify their emotions to me, nor I to anyone else. Emotions are real and true to the person experiencing them and just because I cannot see what someone else is going through, that doesn’t unmake its reality to that person.

Fear, intimidation, or lack of experience are inadequate reasons to avoid trying new things.

Being appreciated is not the same thing as being valued.

Stereotypes are useless; I like Louboutins and medieval history. Everyone else is just as fractal.

There is no “one right way” to do anything and people who claim there is generally have a lot of secondary agendas. The job, expectations, family set up, priorities, or working style of another person will not work for me and mine. If I want to demand respect and space for how I choose to live, I must in turn give the exact same courtesy to absolutely everyone else. Like unto stereotypes, judgement of how other people choose to make it work is pretty useless.

Intentions matter vitally. Where harm is not intended but caused, be generous whenever possible (again remembering rule 2).

I am not required to suck up unpleasant circumstances or experiences, particularly where there is no eventual benefit to be had.

Some circumstances require speaking up, others shutting up.

Anger is a tool to power you to and through an action, it should not be a permanent state. If it is, it’s time to change something big in your life.

In most situations, the worst thing that can happen is that someone will tell me, “No.” This, while not usually welcome, is far from the end of the world, and is also insufficient reason to give up.

Never, ever cede your will, or conscience to another person or group. Ever.

Self care is not selfish.

Relationships, whether personal or professional, are the most important things at the end of the day. Ensure the ones that matter and bring you the most value and joy are cultivated.

It’s easy to want, it’s harder but more important to establish needs.

Opportunities are not a blink-and-you’ve-missed-it phenomenon, they show up constantly. It’s learning to identify them and which ones to take that’s the challenge.

Anyone or anything that asks you to make yourself smaller, quieter, or more convenient to them does not have your best interest at heart.

And finally, my motto, life is not an either/or kind of situation. One path now does not preclude other paths later.

 

 

 

Everything Old is New Again

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, ‘Do trousers matter?'”
“The mood will pass, sir.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

This gentleman is a fabulous steampunk Cossack pirate, and I buy clothes from him.

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I do not buy too many new clothing items these days. Exceptions are things like work clothes; I am in the process of building a small arsenal of work dresses and investing in high quality tailoring with the aim of building a capsule work wardrobe. But other than that, I have not bought new clothes in a long time and have instead bought things almost entirely vintage or second hand. There are a few reasons for this.

First, I’ve mentioned before what an impact reading this book made on me. Even though it was now several years ago, it has had a lasting effect on my shopping habits. More stuff, cheaply made is not good for anyone. Not the planet, not the below-minimally-paid garment workers of the world, not me. Too much bad stuff is suffocating society and the clothing industry is a major culprit.

You might not think it to watch my social media feed, but my closet has actually gotten significantly smaller over recent years as I’ve winnowed out cheap clothes and bought fewer but better pieces. Learning to be more intentional about my spending habits has been one of the primary mental shifts I experienced transitioning out of university, into work, then into freelancing, and finally into my current role. Even though what I buy is now more expensive per capita, I’m getting significantly more wears out of each item, replace them less frequently, and buy better quality in the first instance. More money but less shopping overall, and a surprising amount of money saved as a result.

Second, I love vintage clothing. Not the head-to-toe look that only someone like the incomparable Dita Von Teese can pull off, but individual, well made, well cared for pieces that will never go out of style. It’s how I bought an excellent British tweed jacket, for instance, that I will probably own for the rest of my life.

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But shopping vintage or second hand also has a secondary benefit to overall quality: you are much, much less likely to see someone on the street wearing the same thing as you. In a society where fast, cheap fashion is everywhere and the same handful of retailers provide a huge majority of clothing to the general population, wearing something different can set you apart. It can also help you find amazingly fun items that really speak to your personality or sense of fun. The Cossack pirate sold me a vintage kimono that functioned as menswear in its original form, but now is my “opera coat” or going out jacket. Occasionally, on the advice of the Great and Good Caitlin, I flip it inside out to show off the hand painted panel. Why not?

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I did not buy this leopard print fur jacket, but that’s strictly due to reasons of poverty.

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I tried to be a good little Londoner and wear mostly black for a long time (and still occasionally do go monochrome for convenience and/or laziness), but eventually gave up. I love color and personality in my clothes too much and always need a punch of something on my person. Second hand or vintage shopping allows me to hunt for things like this that would cost me my firstborn child or a kidney to buy new. And because I no longer buy clothing on a whim; rather I spend time hunting for things that I really want, that really fit, and that I genuinely love. I spent a year trying to find a Sukajan jacket with a fun design (this one is actually reversible–two jackets for the price of one!) that actually fit me before finally forking out any money for one.

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The third reason to not buy new clothes ties to my second. Because my industry is so image conscious, the clothing that people wear telegraphs messages constantly. The best sales agents I have ever seen can take one look at a man and accurately estimate his income based on his watch or shoes. They can make a pretty decent guess about a woman’s industry and even educational background by her accessories. It’s scary how much people can tell at a glance of you.

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When I say I’ve been investing in a work wardrobe, I mean it literally. Some brands or items or even stylistic looks carry a certain cache that I in turn want to tap into when presenting to external companies or meeting with clients. I want to be in control of the messages my appearance puts out about me or whoever I happen to representing at the time. “Power bag” or “power heels” aren’t buzzwords, I have been treated very and noticeably differently based on which shoes I have chosen to wear to client or investor meetings. It may sound frivolous, but it’s anything but. Buying secondhand allows me to spend less on items of clothing that would otherwise be utterly beyond my price range, but are very real tools in my trade. Living in a city like London where fashion flows constantly, pre-owned doesn’t even necessarily mean used! Last winter I snagged a gorgeous Miu Miu coat in a beautiful wool (incredibly warm) with an embellished collar and spiked belt (again, why not!) that still had the tags of its original purchase on it.

Having bought clothing almost exclusively second hand for years now, I don’t really see myself going back to buying new except in a handful of instances. Not only are the perks of saving money and finding wholly unique items too good to give up, I genuinely enjoy the hunt for bargains or stellar finds. It makes getting dressed more fun and gives me a story to tell with nearly everything I put on. I’ll take it over cheap fast fashion any day.

Beyonslay

You might have seen this interaction elsewhere…

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But in case my reaction wasn’t clear, I had very clear and distinct feelings about the opportunity to see the Formation tour. Call it a partial anniversary present, but the boy came through. Please don’t expect any decent writing about this experience, best summed up as a “spiritual” one, this is basically just a photodump of and semi-prayer to the gorgeousness that is Our Lady Bey.

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One of us was more excited about this than the other…but he can get down to “Single Ladies” and “Diva” with the best of them, never fear.

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Flawless. Both a song and a statement of fact.

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Very much part and parcel of the experience, all the bow downs for her much and rightly lauded dance team who earn every inch of their physiques. Their choreography and execution is the textbook definition of “on point.”  I’ve loved Beyonce for a long time and her reputation is one of a consummate professional and performer, but this was the first time I’d seen her live and therefore my first opportunity to evaluate that rep. It stands up.

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Getting in formation, obviously.

From her set pieces, to singing, to choreography, to filmography, to her lighting and filming, the whole set up was a production meant to be seen by everyone in the stadium no matter where you were seated or standing. Of course she must have some of the best event support and design in the industry, but the level of coordination and preparation it must take to develop the concept, execute it, and move it around the world with hours or days between shows makes even my organizational-geek brain melt a bit. Also, I suddenly feel that my closet is insufficiently sequined and studded…

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I believe this following statement to be true.

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The whole show was great fun, but the finale was a powerhouse set of anthems that left me hoarse; I regret nothing.

To summarize: the Queen still reigns.

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