Category: Humor

Friday Links (Big Plans Edition)

“The life of the professional writer – like that of any freelance, whether she be a plumber or a podiatrist – is predicated on willpower. Without it there simply wouldn’t be any remuneration, period.”
– Will Self

Another big week on the freelancing front, kittens. I got a position as a part time volunteer on the marketing staff of a museum (supporting cultural heritage and gaining new skills, win win!), I’m building some long term plans that are getting me more excited about finances than I’ve been in a while, I’m working on some fun and challenging projects that are stretching me in new ways, and I might have the opportunity to become a contributor to some really stellar platforms. Last evening I went to a networking event that I’ll talk about more later this weekend, and met some really impressive people including other current and wannabe freelancers, and I’ve found some new publications to approach.

In other news, we had a misadventure with banking and British bureaucracy, we worked out an extension deal with our landlady so we have a place to live for another year (clutches self a little to think that six months have already flown by), next weekend we’re going to Paris, and I’m looking forward to a steady stream of friends and visitors starting in April that already making me giddy with excitement.

That’s me. Tell me what you’re up to this weekend in the comments and link to anything else of note that the minion coterie should be made aware of!

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Someday I’ll add “lady adventurer” to my list of accomplishments. In the the meantime, Stylist rounded up some of the ones you should know about.

My sister-in-law is a mother of two and a living with Cystic Fibrosis. Her health has had peaks and troughs but she is a tireless campaigner for CF research, here’s a chance to learn more about her goal for this year and support her.

I cannot be the only online writer who has had a learning curve in making/using images for their blog/site, right? Here’s a handy tool for the similarly bemused.

In New York City and in need of a cry? Tumblr has you covered.

18th century gear we need to bring back!

How valuable is Twitter for you? I mean literally?

Most downloaded books by state – and I think we can all just breathe a sigh of relief that certain tomes (cough 50 Shades of Grey cough) have had their moment and moved on. Mostly. It is being turned into a film. Drat.

Oh holy hell, this is how society ends, people! When we start outsourcing even basic affection!

I really appreciated the feedback I got on my post about the #BanBossy campaign, and clearly the conversation around it is continuing. Here’s a good critical piece from Elle about whether this effort accomplishes meaningful change or not that’s worth the read. I deal in words, I think changing language absolutely matters, but it’s true that just changing words doesn’t accomplish legal or legislative changes that need to happen.

You guys, this caused major marital discontent last night – but what else can you expect when asked to choose between Doc Brown and Dr. Frazier Crane?!

Great news for American Public Libraries!

Oh, I see. The key to having a stunningly decorated home is to Know A Guy.

This Past Sunday, Pt. 2: Every Other Market Imaginable

“Your own exploration therefore has to be personalized; you’re doing it for yourself, increasing your own store of particular knowledge, walking your own eccentric version of the city. ”
― Geoff Nicholson, The Lost Art of Walking

I initially went to Spitalfields thinking it was just one new area to explore for a morning before finding something else to do. I’m thrilled to admit how wrong I was.
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It turned out to be a several hour wander through East London since the Spitalfields Market, it turns out, rather bled into the Brick Lane Market. Which in turn fed into some other markets, which sort of carried over into bric-a-brac stalls lining whole streets, which wended their way through impromptu sales that merchants and shop owners threw up to take advantage of the crowds.
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In the the end I basically threaded my way through official and unofficial markets – selling everything from some of the choicest garments on the planet to piles of rusting bike parts – all the way from Spitalfields to Columbia Road before finally hopping on the Overground and heading home late in the afternoon.
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The smells of every kind of cuisine and street food blended into live music from buskers and performers. There were stunning and interesting things to explore around every corner. Even most grumpy of winter-weary Brits were awash with goodwill everywhere I went.
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It was the perfect first weekend of Spring.
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This Past Sunday, Pt. 1: Spitalfields Market

“Pray don’t talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous.”
― Oscar Wilde

I chatted to my little sister this past weekend, who informed me that due to snow and bad weather she’d only had one day of school in the past week. No questions about it, winter in the US has been brutal this year. Here in Britain it’s been one of the mildest winters in recent memory (and the wettest, witness the flooding that’s engulfed huge stretches of the country). It hasn’t been bitterly cold or particularly inconvenient in any way, but it has been cloudy and gray. January was dismal. February definitely had more clear days but it was still a bit chilly.

Well, I’m sorry to my sister and anybody else currently snowed it, but I’m thrilled to announce that Spring has arrived in Europe!

Both Saturday and Sunday were gorgeous, bright, warm days that would have been criminal to stay indoors for. On Saturday we met up with Adam for brunch in Shoreditch and then walked the length of Regent’s Canal to Islington where we paced the main streets and wandered into side ones. It’s a testament to how little sun I’ve had in the past three months that in spite of the sunscreen I put on, I still ended up with a sort of tingling, prickling sensation in my skin as it made radiation’s re-acquaintance and even SPF 40 didn’t stop the tops of my cheeks from turning ever-so-slightly pink.

Sunday Jeff had to study for an upcoming exam but I took one look out the window, threw on jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed a camera and headed off to Spitalfields Market. Everyone else eventually had the same idea and by early afternoon I was surrounded by crowds, but I’m not going to begrudge anybody a bit of sunlight. (Summer in Britain is particularly hilarious because on any given nice day, the parks and benches are crammed with people on their lunch breaks who have stripped off half their clothes and are just trying to get some Vitamin D.)

Welcome to a market that has been operating since the 17th century! Today there are substantial food and vintage goods sections but the majority of stalls I saw were run by independent artists and designers selling their creations directly to the public. Of which I highly approve!

I expect the weather will get gray and rainy again here soon, this is London after all, but if the weekends stay like this, I’ll have no complaints.

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So say we all, random shop sign!

Come Creep, er, Peep Into Windows With Me

“Decline is also a form of voluptuousness, just like growth.”
― Iwan Goll

Yesterday  in Spitalfields I ran into the most gloriously dilapidated house. Welcome to 4 Princelet Street!

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Delightful, isn’t it? Spitalfields has an amazing history deeply tied with religious minority immigration and the textile industries. This is one of a row of houses dating to the 18th century where silk merchants and designers largely lived, an industry brought to the area by French Huguenots. Irish linen workers also made this area their home. Later the area drew large Jewish populations (there is also an old synagogue, somewhat hidden on the street that was left disused for many years, but is preserved in a fragile state, that I hope to visit. It’s only open a few days a year to protect the site from wear and tear). Then – like every other area in London – in the 19th century it turned into a horrible rookery and slum. One of the Jack the Ripper murders took place just around the corner, all of his victims were actually from the area, and it was also one of the areas photographed for Jack London’s 1902 book, The People of the Abyss, which not only exposed the plight of London’s urban poor through a popular and successful author of the time, but allowed photography to visually capture the miserable state of one of London’s worst districts.

Now of course the area is home to that thriving market and is fairly trendy, but I like that the architecture of the surrounding areas is intact from time past. Most of the homes and period shops I passed still retain their half shutters and indoor wooden window blinds that fold out from the walls, there are doors still marked for “Tradesmen,” and Edwardian and Victorian era doorbells and knockers abound.

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This crumbling toy in the window is what first caught my eye. I immediately pressed my nose up to the panes and even more glorious decay was revealed.

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The blue and white tiling in the fireplace and the rickety stairs just get me. You can’t see it but there’s also an early 20th century light switch in the wall. Apparently this house is used largely for filming (no surprise there) but has been left mostly untouched and the architecture is all original. From the Georgians to now, elements of design have been added without the history being too taken away.

Here’s another post with more artistic shots of the interiors, and here’s a youtube video (the internet, I tell you, ask and you shall receive!) I found of a film maker who got access to the house for a project and decided to take an impromptu tour.

Friday Links

“Friday’s a free day. A woman’s day.”
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods 

It’s Friday. I’m busy with copywriting. Here are your links, some serious but mostly Springy and lighthearted because the weather outside is gorgeous and I’m going to Paris in two weeks – more on that later, eh? Let me know what you’re up to in the comments!

First and foremost, tomorrow is International Women’s Day. And here’s why it’s important:

IWD

Caitlin Kelly nails it in this post  on tips for creative success. Print this sucker out and refer to it often, I have and am.

I may be a nomad but if I had to choose a state, I’m a Virginia girl all the way. And Virginians love hospitality pineapples. It’s not unusual to see the fruit as a major decor piece around the holidays, a motif I absolutely plan on adopting if and when Jeff and I start doing more dignified and grown up entertaining. (Side note, I have long been irrationally tempted to order this customized pineapple motif stationery for team Woodland correspondence.)

I’m a big fan of lots of J. Crew’s beauty looks, this year’s is no exception. I’m a bright lip kind of woman. And handily enough, J. Crew has shared the look breakdown.

Nooo! He can’t retire!

Calling all knitters. Also, headline of the week.

Runner up for headline of the week, because who am I to stand in the way of Renaissance and cat-related progress?

Gorgeous ethnographic photography project.

An increasing number of people I know are backing off of and away from online presences. Have you ever considered this? Do you think you could (or should) do it in the world today? Stylist Magazine lays out the process.

The luxury market is a fascinating thing to watch, and recently it’s gotten a bit more out of control (which is saying something). The Wall Street Journal breaks it down.

A bit more affordable an alternative – this adorably customizable bag. Maybe it’s because we’re going to Paris this month and I’ve got travel on the brain, but I think this would be great for summer. I’ll take one with the fox and the martini logo, please.

I’ve been working towards a major blog redesign for a while now, it’s still not an immediate thing (largely due to the, ahem, financial realities of freelancing) but it’s definitely on the To Do list for 2014. For anyone out there who is considering a similar move, let me direct you to Bethany at Love Grows Design. Not only does she have a really gorgeous portfolio, but her blog is full of posts to help you think more constructively about the process, instead of wandering around in a dither. Lots of her posts have already helped me start formulating ideas. When I can afford it (and I’ve already started saving up) she’s definitely at the top of my list of people I hope to work with.

London Snapshot

“In this world . . .

It’s Heaven when:
The French are chefs
The British are police
The Germans are engineers
The Swiss are bankers
And the Italians are lovers

It’s Hell when:
The English are chefs
The Germans are police
The French are engineers
The Swiss are lovers
And the Italians are bankers.”
― Hidekaz Himaruya

I worked for five years at a police department on a university campus somewhat renowned for the ugliness of most of its architecture. Alternatively, here is the police office of Hyde Park. Brace yourself, Brandie and Sav. You might cry. I nearly did.

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Girls Night (At the Savoy. No Biggie)

“Well I really am not going to be imprisoned in the suburbs for dining in the west-end!”
– Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Jeff is working in Peterborough again this month which means after a long day of typing away at my desk, I’m responsible for keeping myself entertained. Luckily I have the internet…to make friends.

I’m part of several groups that have personal, practical, journalistic, and academic interests in feminist movements and initiatives in religious cultures and communities. Through these groups I’ve met a whole host of fascinating, hilarious, scarily smart ladies whom I’ve been lucky enough to become friends with over the years. Two such ladies currently live in London, so naturally we decided to have a hang out. One is an academic and author who works for the Princes School for Traditional Arts the other is a graduate student from my alma mater currently the resident TA for a study abroad program, and working on her thesis. And then there’s me. Professional scribbler.

I procured theatre tickets, another made a reservation, one thing led to another and the next thing you know we were sitting down to dinner at the Savoy like a proper bunch of 1920s and 30s celebrated smart types.

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The Savoy was the first high luxury hotel in Britain in the 19th century, featuring such innovations as running heated water and electricity, and remained the dernier cri of good living. It’s still a byword for class (and a bit of snobbery) and a luxurious time. Frequented by film stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood, royals and their various entourages of coutiers and mistresses, sports stars, and artists, not a few favorites of mine have bedded down here. Alas it has had some challenges. A few years ago the hotel closed for a major refit and redecoration, one of the restaurants lost one of its Michelin stars, and business has been tricky in times of austerity. Nevertheless, it was the Savoy – of course we were going to go if we got the chance!

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We were served by a marvelously sardonic and sly witted waiter. We weren’t drinking (which surprised him, since the wine and cocktail list is legendary) but he seemed delighted when we ordered mocktails instead because they presented a challenge. Lisa  in particular won him by asking for a non-alcoholic surprise from the bartender. He returned with a gorgeous drink whipped up especially for her smelling of fruits and rosewater and named, on the spot when we asked for one, “an Unexpected Pleasure.”

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Don’t mind the turtle face, I’m just having a taste of Lisa’s drink. And it was delicious (we were promiscuous with our beverages, sharing sips and straws and probably horrifying the waiters). Clearly we had a great time!

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Soups and sauces were poured out onto delicious dishes, crumbs were scraped away with solid silver utensils built just for that purpose, and the bread basket was kept filled with piping hot offerings. We shared foods and deserts without any thought of propriety, swapped deserts and petit fours with one another, compared work and life stories, and debated deeply for two hours before hustling to the theatre.

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I walked home across the Thames absolutely cocooned in contentedness.

(Rose had the good sense to bring a proper camera so better photos can be seen on her blog here if you want better close ups of the food. Which you do, trust me.)

Home Office

“I come to the office each morning and stay for long hours doing what has to be done to the best of my ability. And when you’ve done the best you can, you can’t do any better.”
― Harry S. Truman

Today is a bit of a frantic day at work for me kittens, following two incredibly late nights in a row – the Oscars and a much needed girls night out while Jeff is in Peterborough. But my pace, chipper as it’s making me, got me thinking about workspaces, so let’s talk them today. Step into my office.

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It’s not fancy, but it’s a world of difference from where we started, which is in turn a world of difference from the floor, which is in turn a world of difference from a kitchen table in a parent’s house. That cork board is probably the best and most important small amount purchase I’ve made in months, and it’s a mass of lists. I keep a running one of the jobs and work I’ve applied for with updates for successes and failures, short editorial calendars for certain projects, individual pitches with the current state of the submission and follow up process, notes to self about publications and sites I’ve heard about and want to investigate, even grocery lists.

I’ve been accused of too many notebooks (blasphemy! There’s no such thing), but aside from my major planner I’ve got one for project notes, one specifically for professional pitch ideas and interview notes, and one for my creative stuff. Plus scratch paper for the lists I’m so fond of.

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There’s fun stuff too. I don’t hoard things typically, but since we’ve arrived I’ve saved tickets from shows and events that have blown me away, Coriolanus and The Drowned Man have places of honor. Aside from pictures of friends and family (all but one removed to protect their privacy, but please do admire one of my two handsome brothers!), I keep photos from magazines that I like to give me something pretty to look at. Clearly my true inner style is ball gowns paired with sweatshirts – can’t say I’m surprised. Comfortable and inappropriately dramatic.

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That other picture is of a Russian socialite and couture maven/designer named Ulyana Sergeenko – frequently photographed bedecked in turbans, bright lips, and emeralds, so of course she plays the role of a muse!  I keep most of my lipsticks and glosses in a used candle holder; easy to hand since I wear it daily, even sitting at my desk. My colored pens and markers, essential for keeping track of different clients and projects I store in Victorian marmalade jar – reclaimed from a period rubbish dump, cleaned up and sold by an enthusiast at Portobello Road, who really deserves his own post because he was a delight!

The other essentials: iPod for podcast listening, business cards (which I always keep on hand, just in case), and takeaway menus to favorite local places. For the nights when making dinner straight up isn’t happening.

Not pictured: the pile of mail, random receipts, whatever lotion or hand cream I’m currently using to keep my skin from coming off in chunks, and a plastic tray that sits on the windowsill and usually contains a dumping of breath mints, thumb tacks, my address book, and keys. Do not believe for one second that things are always this tidy!

And that’s where I work most days! Work from home types, freelancers, and other writer friends, weigh in. What does your typical workspace look like? I’m nosy and want to know.

Oscar Review 2014

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
– Oscar Wilde

Ho boy, this is going to be a nicely divisive year, I can feel the comments section rumbling already! All in all, I’m quite pleased, there have been a couple of seasons of this now-annual event where I have found the frocks nice but boring, this year I feel we have something to talk about.

Major trends included statement necklaces (which I approve), lots of pale shades on pale girls (which I generally don’t), navy everywhere (which I’m fine with, it’s my kind of neutral) and pregnancy (which I’m too smart to have an opinion about here). J Law had the good sense to get her tumbling over and done with before the ceremony this year, Anne Hathaway has a comeback for all the haters obsessed with her bosom from last year, and we’re not even going to talk about Pharrell’s shorts.

If there was an overarching theme I noticed, I’d say there were some very definite nods to Old Hollywood glamor that I really loved. There were capes and vintage silhouettes and straight up call backs to iconic films and screen sirens. On the whole, I loved it. Dramatic and interesting are a lot more desirable to me than pretty and safe…usually. Sometimes things can go wrong. And with that, let’s delve deep into opininating.

Friends, minions, countrymen, lend me your thoughts!

THE GOOD

Lupita Nyong'o Prada

Lupita Nyong’o in Prada. Gorgeous frock on a gorgeous woman who has been nailing it on the style front all season. She’s an actress who masterfully harnessed the ability to stay in the public eye via her clothing early, professionally smart and stylistically successful. That blue sings on her and the whole thing moved beautifully. And I’m going to catch hell for this but as much as I think this look stuns, I have to admit I preferred the red caped gown she busted out at the Academy Awards.

Anne Hathaway Gucci

Anne Hathaway in Gucci. Speaking of smart! Remember the craziness last year when this woman was campaigning hard for an Oscar (not helped by a rather juvenile, breathy, “It came true!” when she got the thing) and everybody turned on her in the most ridiculous way for it? How her pink dress with unfortunate frontal puckering inspired instant twitter accounts and memes? Yeah, Anne Hathaway kindly invites the haters to eat it. This dress clearly calls back to last year’s in style and shape, but this time she’s literally darkened up and armored herself. Clever, clever stylist behind this one. Though I’m braced for minion pushback on this one, I stand firm that this dress was a deliberate Do Over and I say, go for it!

Cate Blanchett Giorgio Armani

C., you ridiculously contrary creature, I hear you exclaim, you hate pale women in pale shades. Well there’s always an exception, ducklings. Her name is Cate Blanchett, she is wearing Armani and she is stunning so you all will just have to deal with my hypocrisy.

Olivia Wilde Valentino

There were many bumps out and about, Olivia Wilde’s in Valentino was the best. Apart from looking wonderfully classy that gown has pockets. An instant win in my book.

Emma Watson Vera Wang

Emma Watson in Vera Wang. This is where my bias comes out because that 90’s looking t-shirt ballgown hybrid thing she’s got on that actually looks comfortable? I would totally wear that. [Editor’s note, I initially typed the designer in as “Vera Want.” If that isn’t subliminal messaging I don’t know what is.]

Chrissy Teigen Monique Lhuillier

Chrissy Teigen in Monique Lhuillier. …Look, let’s just ignore everything from the neck up, okay? There’s no justifying it so let’s pretend, just put your thumb over the screen for a second. Now look! A bold print on the Oscars Red Carpet!

THE OKAY

Oh here we go…this is where the pushback comes.

Amy Adams Gucci

Amy Adams in Gucci. This look was praised to the sky but to me it falls under the boring but safe in a big way. The navy blue is a perfect shade for her but the getup lacked some oomph for my taste. It’s also very similar to Jennifer Lawrence’s gown. Speaking of!

Jennifer Lawrence Dior

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior. She loses some points for the hair and makeup styling, and doing the down-the-back necklace thing (which I liked the first time, admittedly) two years in a row but the red (in a sea of muted blushes, darker but muted tones) won me over. To be fair, the photo is not at all doing the color justice here. On screen that gown was a gorgeous, sizzling red. Minions who can find me that exact shade of it in lipstick form will be promoted to an exalted state in my someday empire.

Viola Davis Escada

Viola Davis in Escada. She’s worn emerald green before (and for good reason!), and I love her hair and makeup, but the dress is a bit too shiny and oddly fitted.

Idina Menzel Vera Wang

Idina Menzel in Vera Wang. The dress is pretty (but safe, for a Broadway diva at least), the diamonds are to die for. But the face is washed out, the hair is bland, and the lips need color pretty badly.

Charlize Theron Dior

WHY? Why must Charlize Theron insist on wearing Dior gowns that do freakish things to her breasts?! This is going for Sargent’s Portrait of Madame X but the unfinishedness of the straps bothers me.

Kristen Bell Roberto Cavalli

Kristen Bell in Roberto Cavalli. Okay, but pale girl in a pale frock syndrome strikes again. She looks utterly washed out to me.

Elsa Pataky Elie Saab

Elsa Pataky in Elie Saab. Look, the woman is heavily pregnant with twins and she still showed up smiling and in heels. All I’m going to say is that I didn’t like it on her.

THE BAD

Sally Hawkins Valentino

Sally Hawkins in Valentino. This is one big helping of Too Much. Perhaps this would have worked better if styled differently or worn by someone else, but as it is it’s a pale shade on a pale girl with messy looking hair and too much detailing.

Alfre Woodard Badgley Mischka

Alfre Woodard in Badgley Mischka. No favors done to anyone’s chest region here.

Julie Delpy Jenny packham

Julie Deply in Jenny Packham. Cleopatra by way of the 1960s. This could have been ranked higher, but I think the hair styling tipped it over into frumpy for me.

Kerry Washington Jason Wu

Holding down the bump category for the Bad is Kerry Washington in Jason Wu. I anticipate pushback here too, but I don’t love this shade on her and think she looks just a bit too rumpled. The overall effect is of us catching her in nothing but a (admittedly luxurious) bedsheet, but not in a good way I find.

Julia Roberts Givenchy

Julia Roberts, no! A dress that looks like those droopy shirtwaists from the turn of the last century combined with a doily in mourning and a peplum too? This Givenchy doesn’t work for me at all.

Gabourey Sidibe Theia

Gabourey Sidibe in Theia. Too much everything.

Anna Kendrick J. Mendel

Anna Kendrick in J. Mendel. I sighed. From the back it looked like it could have been worn by that fabulously vamp fringe character from Singing in the Rain…then she turned around to reveal clunky shoes, awkward pleated layers, unattractive cutouts with unattractive netting, sheer panels, and sideboob. I dislike those elements on their own, put them together and I cringe. Easily my pick for worst of the night (Liza Minnelli is exempted because she is Liza Minnelli).

FAVORITE ACCESSORY

Karen O Camilla Staerk

Bring me that clutch immediately!

FAVORITE LOOK OF THE NIGHT

Sari Mercer

Sari Mercer. The hair, the lip color, the complexion, the diamonds, that gown. Do me a favor, everyone, and from now on let’s all mutually agree that I look like this 100% of the time, alright?

Now, it’s your turn. Come to the comments and decry my taste!

A Saturday Escapade

“And marbled clouds go scudding by
The many-steepled London sky.”
― John Betjeman

London kicked off March (seriously, March already?!) in fine style with a gorgeous day. We were lazy getting up and about this morning but about lunchtime I turned to Jeff and told him I had a craving for a burger. Never a man to disoblige (or turn down beef), we headed to a perennial favorite BRGR CO and indulged.

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The weather was a balmy 45 degrees, which is practically summer in our corner of Europe. In honor of the temperature, we wore t-shirts and ordered milkshakes. Then, one craving satisfied, we decided to soak in the Vitamin D and the city as well and went on an epic wander starting in Covent Garden and ending in Kensington. Jeff suggested Hyde Park and I wanted to show him where I lived when a student here.

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Hyde Park was a glorious, green expanse.

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Dogs were out everywhere and we crossed paths with many a kid atop their pony.

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London has a bad weather reputation, some of it earned, but let me tell you when it gets it right, London gets it right!

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Buds are shoving their way up and out of the soil and tips of trees, daffodils and crocuses are blooming turbulently, and the birds were singing.  With respect, Game of Thrones, Spring is coming!

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We passed Queen Victoria’s (in my opinion hideous) Neo-Gothic memorial to Prince Albert, and just down the path a ways and across the street, there it was:

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My Kensington stomping grounds! Jeff stood still for a second with this mouth slightly ajar, glanced over his shoulder to where Hyde Park sat a mere 50ft away from the front door, and pronounced me an all my educational cohorts, “Spoiled.” Can’t say he’s wrong, though I will say I much prefer living in our flat south of the river. It might be less rarified than Kensington, but small as it is, it’s about a thousand times more comfortable and a hell of a lot less snobby an area.

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We finished up with an amble up Exhibition Road, which turned into a short foray into the V&A (where I do not spend nearly enough time) before heading home.