Category: Humor

Humor

In Praise of Saying **** It

There’s a lot of motivational talk going around (which the New York Times tackled here) and while I myself am guilty of being a bit of a goal setter and productivity freak, I’d like to argue the other side of the coin for a change…

YOU KNOW, SEEING AS HOW THE WORLD HAS COME TO A SCREECHING AND WEIRD HALT, OR SOMETHING.

You are under no obligation to pick up a new hobby, become a professional baker, cook every meal from scratch, exercise everyday, or finish your To Do list. This goes double if you have children or other dependents for which you are responsible. A pandemic is not a reason to “up your game” or “maximize your output.” If you’re hyper or looking to channel your anxiety or feelings in a healthy way, that’s one thing, but if you are allowing yourself to spiral down into self-recrimination and flagellation, stop.

Let the kids watch movies all day. Eat cookies for dinner. Binge a trashy show for fun. Reread a comic you’ve read a million times already. Log off if you’re done with work for the day and leave the dishes in the sink tonight. Moderation in all things, kittens, and that means optimization too.

In the long haul ahead of most of us, saying “**** it” every once in a while is a perfectly acceptable option on the spectrum of choices.

 

Humor

April Moodboard

This month, we’re indoors. We’re dressing comfortably (but not sloppily – unless that’s your thing, in which case GO FORTH. I support you!). We’re caffeinating to our eyeballs. We’re baking and cooking and propagating our houseplants to grown an indoor jungle.

I don’t care how basic any of this makes me, it’s all soothing. The last weeks of March were a riot of activity and, as I’ve previously blogged, I’m very worried that this month will hit a lot of people (including myself) harder as the slowdown really starts to impact people beyond the frontline. To be clear, the frontline are all the worker across all the sectors and industries who have mobilized against this – everything from doctors and nurses to truck drivers and grocery store workers. All of them are rightfully deserving of applause (and ALSO living wages, healthcare, benefits and unions where they don’t already exist). They deserve more than claps in a time of crisis, they deserve support and respite in peace and prosperity.

And, given that this is the month that the more fortunate privileged will start to feel a bite, we may have a chance to work and vote for it. As obnoxious as it is, it’s often when the privileged feel or are affected that the changes and causes long championed by others begin to grow roots. People will be furloughed or made redundant, businesses will have to rethink ways of working not just in the immediate future but perhaps permanently. We can be annoyed or petulant about this, or we can USE IT.

So rest up, kittens. Do the work you have and start thinking about the work and life you also want to have. If you’re lucky, you have a window to take steps in that direction. If you’re moral, you’ll think about how to smooth the way for those who find it more difficult.

Season of renewal indeed.

Favorites, Humor

Five Things I Loved In March

Well hey, kittens. If ever there was a time to swap some pop culture or lifestyle suggestions, this is it. Here are the things that got me through March and please please PLEASE send me your favorites because let’s face lots of us have some time to kill!

 

 

Granado Nail Polish, in Rita

This was a cheap pickup in Paris from a pharmacy. I find it hard to find the RIGHT shade of true red nail polish – it either skews too pink or blue – but this is it. A vibrant red that perfectly straddles the blue/yellow undertone divide. It also has excellent staying power and nearly lasted a week on me without chipping – unheard of!

Castlevania, on Netflix

I came to this property completely new, I had no experience of the games it was based on or the fandom. But I enjoyed this series immensely! Don’t be misled by it’s animation status, it’s definitely adult themed in terms of violence and sex, but if that doesn’t put you off – enjoy! The voice acting talent is phenomenal and the characters are wonderfully portrayed – even and perhaps especially the bad ones. And refreshing in the fantasy genre, there are all kinds of female characters including breathtakingly competent and powerful ones. Even MORE refreshingly, it isn’t a subject of discussion within the show so much as it’s a matter of fact. If after the disappointment of Game of Thrones (yes, I’m still bitter) and the fun of The Witcher you’re craving a new fun/dark/sexy/funny fantasy, I recommend.

Utopia for Realists, Rutger Bregman

If anything comes out of this horrible series of circumstances in the world right now, it might be a willingness to experiment and push back on what we have too long declared “the way things are.” At least, I’m choosing to be optimistic. From taxation to civic mindedness to investment in the arts…society isn’t a business and for the love of god, let’s stop trying to run it as one. This is a short book, summarizing research and experiments run on a number of topics, and explains the historical progression of ideas and ideologies. Well worth a read, whatever your political persuasion.

 

Burberry Lip Velvet lipstick in Military Red

Ah March, the month of remote working and multiple video conference calls. We may be fully dressed, we may be in yoga pants, but we’re all visible from the neck up. The lipstick I’ve been reaching for to cope is this glorious, vibrant red (which coincidentally pairs beautiful with my nail polish recommendation). Already feeling a bit run down or sloppy? I cannot recommend a red lip enough.

 

In Our Time, BBC podcast

Let famed historian Melvyn Bragg and guests dive deeply into a topic for in an hour or less. Whether profound philosophy, scientific discovery, Roman poetry, or gamechangers of history, it’s an excellent podcast to plug in while cooking, working, or just taking a break.

Goals, Humor

The Year of Back to Basics: March

Hi there. Coronavirus has consumed everything, and yet this month was still an okay one all things considered, for working towards goals.

Money

Yes, we spent money this month, but it was to go to Paris with my best friend and we regret nothing. We got a bargain on an AirBnB listing and spent a long weekend with one of my favorite people in the world and her significant other, whom we both like tremendously. It may not be a kosher thing to celebrate right now, but I’m intensely grateful we had an international jaunt, no matter how short, before the coronavirus really got off the ground and isolation guidance kicked in.

We ate good food, drank good wine, stopped by French pharmacies, and generally wandered the city. It was a tonic! I picked up two pieces of treasure this trip, a bottle of perfume exclusive (for now) to France and a mint condition collector’s piece from my favorite costume jewelry shop! It was more expensive than I was planning to spend, but I think we can all agree that this was worth the coin. X. is a lover and connoisseur of perfume and took me to several boutique shops while the boys drank cocktails at the Hemingway bar in the Ritz. All in all, a perfect long weekend!

And since then, we are holed up in our apartment, leaving only to go to our local grocery store or when I get stir crazy and need to be taken for a walk like a hyperactive terrier. Healthy? No. Good for the wallet? To an astonishing degree. We’re doing one meal a week where we get “take out” from our local independent restaurants to try and our bit for businesses that we know are struggling, but otherwise our only spending has been to replace groceries and toiletries.

 

Relationships

Text chains and Facetime calls with friends and family, lots of cuddles with my husband, and lots of communication wherever possible right now. Therapy sessions continue online, which I appreciate more than I can say. Given social distancing, I’m grateful for what I’ve got!

 

Basic bitch

We ate our bodyweight in carbs and wine in Paris. The first week of quarantine, we were the textbook definition of naughty: we ate what we wanted and snacked incessantly. The second week we made a conscious decision to exercise daily, eat real food, limit snacking and other health related priorities. Our day-to-day lives have shrunk dramatically in terms of space and scale but we’re trying to manage it as best we can.

 

Elsewhere

Ticked off one reading goal.

Paid off another credit card!

Read a bunch of Agatha Christie in aid of another reading goal. Murder!

Continued to bake and listen to albums.

Started a couple of goals related to keeping up a good mood and prioritizing gratitude. What better time to start than a pandemic!

Blogging every day (another goal, and also a sanity saver)

 

Humor

Sunday Check In

Gather round, ducklings, I want to give you all a (digital) hug.

How has your week been? I’ve been working 12-16 hour days again trying to corral and distribute information of all stripes across my stakeholders and workforce as humans and businesses alike struggled to understand the implications of government announcements last week and industry realities this week.

It’s been mental but weirdly satisfying to have so much TO DO, because I know, in the spectrum of possibilities, this thing is likely to last for a lot longer than most people realize. There are follow up waves of illness, potential mutations, economic disparities that mean people and countries will get help at different times, and the ripple effects of those timelines will spread outward for a long time. If some of the possibilities are correct, there is a potential down period coming where the initial frenzy of immediate practical response will come to an end and we all transition to a new, weird “normal” that consists for many in waiting this thing out. And the last thing my brain and I need is not enough to do right now.

As always, books and cooking are helping to keep me sane (Jeff’s drug of choice is video games), and the London weather has been behaving beautifully this week which has also been a delight. I’m acutely aware of my good fortune and hoping you are keeping well too.

Let’s chat about our weeks in the comments. Here, have another hug!

 

Humor, Links, Office, Politics, Pop Culture

Weekend Links: Quarantine Week Two

Hi there, kittens. Here’s you weekly batch of goodness, take some time to rest today if you can. Let’s all meet back here tomorrow for a proper catch up, eh? Love you all, truly.

Respect the bean!

How NOT to be an ass in the time of COVID-19.

Beware wildlife #fakenews.

Surely these people have assistants who will take their phones away!

Here’s a way to “go outside” even if you’re not able to at the moment – responsible social distancing, people!

At a loss of what to cook? Bon Appetit is here to help.

OH LOOK, MORE PROOF THAT WE CAN HAVE AN EFFECT IF WE PUT OUR MINDS TO IT. I’ll be the first to admit that the petri dish is not exactly ideal, but as a forced experiment it is telling.

“For me, the idea that my role in this situation largely consists of staying home as much as possible seems on its face to be egregiously fortunate…And more than simply being a luxury, it’s more than that: It’s a duty.”

In case you’re in need of a disco-y bop, Childish Gambino has got you.

SOLIDARITY.

More solidarity. This is going to get worse before it gets better.

As for the rest of you, stop doing brand adjustments and start paying people living wages with sick benefits.

The left gets accused (sometimes rightly) of virtue signalling, but we need to have a real investigation into the defiance signalling of the right. Whether it’s guns, anti-science or any other thing, the fact that we have allowed one of these things (an over abundance of caution or self righteousness to the point of ridiculousness) to be seen as equivalent evil to its counterpart (an overabundance of contempt to the point of public endangerment) is ludicrous. One of these things is annoying. The other is dangerous.

We stan a maximalist queen.

Never have we all been so obsessed with hand sanitizer, and Vanity Fair knows what #content we want right now.

How do we just lose stuff like this, part five million of a continuing series… (ETA: part five million and one)

Ah yes, Leyendecker and his impossibly beautiful men. We heteros aren’t immune.

I would very much like to be a part of this trend.

Meanwhile, in Britain…

Family, Friends, Humor, News

Friday Talk: How Are You Socializing?

We’re all having to get creative here, and I’m honestly looking for ideas because – while I’m used to my best friends and family being scattered across continents, and the truth is that Jeff and I already tended to be homebodies at the weekend – I’m feeling the emotional pinch of our flat’s four walls. I enjoy my interactions with my coworkers, who are all lovely and interesting people, and I have a habit of striking up conversations with random people throughout my day. In a queue, at the shop, asking to pet people’s dogs in parks… While this is not terribly British, it is terribly American and I find the accent breaks down cultural barriers, especially when attempting to be friendly.

So, if you’re like me and happen to like people…how are your socializing? Facetime? Instagram? Skype calls? Have you set up any new ways to connect with your nearest and dearest? Got any good ideas?

Humor

Small Gratitudes

In retrospect, thank goodness.

Thank goodness I prioritized addressing some of my persistent health issues – not least of all mental.

Thank goodness I spent the last couple of years fixated on money and budgeting, deliberating practicing self-denial and flexing my emotional discipline muscles.

Thank goodness that we can say that we have anything we could reasonably need to make a house comfortable and liveable, without practical wants.

Thank goodness I already started goals that got us spending more time in the kitchen and making an effort to cook.

Thank god I started therapy.

There’s a huge amount in privilege in all of this that I am not blind to in anyway – I know exactly how lucky I am. But staring down the barrel of uncertainty and more question marks than anything, I’m very glad that I’ve had the ability to make these choices and practice these emotional skills and habits.

Share: what’s something in the recent past that’s helping you right now, in this moment? It doesn’t matter how profound or trivial.

Humor

An incomplete list of things I will 100% buy if this thing lasts as long as it’s projected to

A few things that my fevered brain has suggested to me – assuming I live and don’t get laid off (insert image of me breathing into a paper bag because we live in the upside down:

A pet. Without fail.

A piano (or weighted keyboard at least)

A better desk chair

A better desk (?)

A month’s supply of wine to go with my very formerly-mormon food storage!

Approximately 17 more houseplants. They will all be named.

Another pet

A rice cooker

Better flatware

I dunno…maybe a lamp for the living room? Does that wall need a little something?

A fancy headset for work calls

Fancy headphones for everyday life

More houseplants, why not?

Another pet. I’m a cat lady now. Hi!

Cuticle cutters

A shoe organizer

A bougie leather bench

I think we need a pasta ladle…

The fanciest olive oil I can find

An Audible subscription

Totally unnecessary antique porcelain and glassware

A a piece of taxidermy

A blanket/robe hybrid

New sheets

Another pet

 

Guys, I kid, I kid, because literally all I can think about right now are worst case scenarios and I’m spiraling today. You?

Friends, Humor

Sunday Check In

Hi dolls, how are we feeling?

Yesterday I burned off some frantic energy but cleaning and reorganizing our entire kitchen. We’re using our storage and counter space to better effect, enabling the cooking and baking that we’ve been doing – and reducing clutter which triggers stress in me. We made it to the store and actually got what we needed and thus far are keeping the house from being a disaster zone.

This week I’m focusing more on health. It was “fun” the first week to indulge in stress carbs and sugar pretty nonstop…but that’s not going to be helpful moving forward. Home exercise and walks, when possible and safe, are the new normal, and for the love of god people, we need to eat fruit and veg. The last thing we need is scurvy!

How are you preparing for the coming week? What do you need support or help with?