“I wore dresses all the time. I like to wear dresses.”
– Willard Scott
Anyone else hitting up this awesomeness next week? Better believe I am! My sister-in-law is getting married in a month and I still don’t have a dress to wear. My beloved Shabby Apple is going to be selling their fab frocks at the Riverwoods this weekend at discount. If I don’t score this for the upcoming nuptials (which look, by the way, to be the social event of the season!) it won’t be my fault!
“Ah, Venice!”
– Casanova
Venice, who if you did not know, is a rather awesome crafter, recently launched a blog and Etsy shop to share her jewelry creations. Go check them out at once! I’m particularly digging her vintage-y looking post earrings, and fantastic charm necklaces (the Lovebirds Necklace is my current favorite and I’d totally buy these green lovelies if I didn’t already own three pairs of emerald and one pair of peridot earrings already). She also does exchangeable watch bands to match any outfit, and best of all she does custom orders!
You’d pay twice as much for these pretties at stores and no two are alike so you’ll never have a “That wench is wearing my outfit!” moment.
Another reason to follow her blog? She finds other great Etsy sites and artists to pass along and highlight and she’s always doing giveaways and who doesn’t like shiny, free stuff? Valentines Day bonus at her Etsy shop going on now, run don’t walk!
Occasionally J. teases that I’m a snob, and I can’t really get offended by it because it’s sort of true. For example…
I always prefer quality to quantity when it comes to buying things, I’d rather spend more on something that will last me longer than less on something that will fall apart or go out of fashion in the near future. I’m a bit of a stickler for grammar (I spent a good hour last night proof-reading the group project J. and co. has been working on all term and it practically bled red ink by the time I was done. The whole time I was muttering things like, “Double spaces between sentences, I don’t care what Twitter culture says!” and “Passive voice, be gone!” Suddenly I have an insight into the power trip that can be editing, being a writer by comparison seems very tame).
I think women should wear nice gloves in cold weather, and that fashion might change but style is eternal, so stock up on the classics. Feminist though I may be, I think a man should be taught from a young age to open doors and pull out chairs, if for no other reason than it reflects well on his mother. I, very snobbishly, turn up my nose at ostentatious (read: ugly) houses and think that people who buy things just for the sake of buying them and showing off are sad, sad individuals.
I also think that people should adhere to dress codes, both those printed on invitations and those coming from conventional wisdom (I am especially irritated by people who show up to wedding receptions in jeans and will judge you for doing so). Pearls always work, and unless something designed by Harry Winston is required for an extremely special occasion, simple diamond studs are all you need. Less is more. Politeness is important and anyone who says otherwise is just justifying their own bad behavior.
This is not to say I don’t have lapses, some of them grievous, from this creed (see above quote). But I maintain that they are eternal truths to be abided by. I also have a snobbish habit of calling people “peasants” when they’re doing something foolish, weird, or distasteful. In my defense, I picked that up from my most lady-like friend Marie!
So, knowing that I am a bit of a snob…what do you think my opinion of Walmart is? To boil it down, any place capable of producing a website like this should be avoided at all costs. However, situations do arise in which Walmart must be braved and one befell us last night.
Whilst setting up J. and my collective Christmas present to ourselves (more on that later. Suffice it to say, I am a very awesome wife), we both were struck with fits of paranoia: me for the physical safety of our fabulous presents, being a klutz with an awful propensity for knocking things over, and J. for the general safety of everything we own, as our deadbolt lock is a pretty pathetic lump of warped metal. And so, seeing as the nearest home improvement store was closed and the next closest store was Walmart and it was nearly 10pm already, off we went for locks, screws, and nylon.
During our 20 minute sojourn one (full-grown) man let out a five second belch from the next aisle that reverberated throughout the framing and mounting section. One university-age boy sauntered in wearing what I think was a nylon head-to-toe jumpsuit covered with a tree motif (which I would have assumed was for hunting if it were not for the vivid coloring – not hunter colors, by the way). Another boy strolled past wearing tie-dye cut off short shorts and extremely bad facial hair. I saw some spoiled fruit, one mullet, and one girl with pants drooping so low as to, er, let it all hang out.
Yep, I’m a snob. And I will not be going back to Walmart again for some time.
“The Christmas season has come to mean the period that the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants.”
– John Andrew Holmes
Black Friday is not really something I participate in, I’ll occasionally venture out (closer to noon than midnight) but it’s no different for me than any other weekend shopping except the people are ruder and all have a look of unmasked panic flitting across their faces.
But. This year J. and I were tipped off early to Amazon.com’s sales. BIG mistake!
– Five DVDs
-Eight books
– 80% of my inbox is shipping emails from Amazon
– Two packages received already
– One sore clicker finger
– Fourteen other books “Saved To Buy Later”
– Six squeals of excitement while clicking through site
– Nine heart-rending decision about what to buy and not buy
– Four times I’ve checked my shipping status since breakfast
“Holidays – have no pity.”
– Eugenio Montale
Wednesday – I had work, J. didn’t have school. Bitter. I spent the afternoon making party favors for the department Christmas party and curling ribbon until my fingers were numb.
Thursday – Meet up with Fairy, Brando, Drill, Trixie, and others at that bastion of Americana, Chuck-a-Rama for cheap, easy food that we don’t have to clean up after. Then back to godparents’ house for a rousing game of Rummikub and phone call from parents.
Friday – C. goes shopping (although NOT at 3am like the intrepid GS and GBIL…she waits until 10 and then hits the GAP and a couple unnamed stores for Christmas shopping). Then she and J. group with everyone again to go to a movie.
Saturday – runs errands and finishes off the evening with The Football Game in which her team beats their hated rivals. At some point during the celebrations, C. smacks her leg against the bleachers and obtains a nasty black and blue mark that she doesn’t notice until the next morning, so high is she from the euphoria.
Sunday – sleep in.
Holidays, as nice as they are, have one horrible symptom: the reality check at the end. Four days free of work means that all the industrious little habits one has get unceremoniously kicked out the window and waking up Monday morning is a chore. I barely got in a shower before we had to dash out the door and didn’t have time to wash my hair. Not the best way to kick off the busiest time of the year, at work and otherwise!
“AUGH!!!!!!!”
-C.
Unbelievable! J. Crew was having a sale on shirts (which I needed a couple more of for winter to give my few work sweaters a break) and the skirt I was lusting after was also miraculously on sale as well. PLUS I had a $50 gift certificate that I got from my health insurance company for completing a bunch of health challenges they do throughout the year so I could afford them. Obviously I had to take advantage, n’est pas?
Not as easy as it first appeared! This sale closed at midnight over the weekend and I (ridiculous creature that I am) of course forgot the gift certificate in my work desk. Which meant a late night weekend gallop to the office, fetchingly attired in an old shirt, flannel pajama pants, mad hair, thick socks, and heeled shoes because they were the closest thing to hand as I rushed out the door. Accompianied by J.’s fond head shakes and sighs of, “You’re a nuggins.” His “adorable” nickname for me when I’m doing something particularly silly (I’m not so fond of it).
But apart from the slight craziness I exhibited, all was well! I ordered my things happily and went to bed at peace.
This morning I woke up to a shiny online coupon in my inbox advertising 20% off one’s total order. Which means had I waited 24 hours (and was psychic), I could have gotten my order for over half off.
Snarl.
“Come on, you heifer! What does not kill us makes us hotter!”
-Legally Blonde, The Musical
After two months out of commission, I am back at the gym with Venice. And I mean it this time. Why? Because Ven has imposed the mother of all weight loss incentives: no shopping until we hit our target weights.
This means no new cardies, boots, hats, tights, trousers, jackets, NOTHING. And Fall is upon us, THE season for the best and cutest of clothes. You want to see a pair of wannabe recessionistas whip it into shape? Dangle their credit cards in front of them while they huff and puff on a treadmill.
“You need to get up.”
“No!”
“Yes. You need to make money to support your rock’n’roll lifestyle.”
“I don’t have a rock’n’roll lifestyle!”
-J. and C.
We have a trip to England to pay for, school is starting and with it the flood of ridiculously expensive books to be bought, and food must be paid for I suppose. But fall is coming and that means so are fall lines! Venice doesn’t help by calling me at work to tell me that Express is having a sale on their work shirts (two for the price of one! That’s an investment, right?), and neither does my beloved Shabby Apple by debuting new fabulous dresses and accessories! My Lust List expands exponentially, rather than relative to my wallet (lovely thing though it is) and the only thing that keeps me safe is an iron will combined with absolute horror towards credit card debt commercials! I therefore bring you:
Small Dog’s List of Things She Wants But Cannot Have
And in the category of accessories, considering that I’m living in a fantasy land, I’m also rather smitten with this little item (above headband). More bohemian than my normal tastes, but I want it just the same. Oh, come on. Like you’ve never wanted something you couldn’t have?
“Look for the woman in the dress; if there is no woman, there is no dress.”
-Coco Chanel
It never fails. Whenever I recommit to frugality (and, though I don’t mind spending money, I already do live well within my limits) I remember something I need to buy, find a place that tempts me to dump money into it, or go shopping with Venice. Usually some combination of the three.
Last night was the third option. I told the girls I asked to be bridesmaids long ago that I want them to pick out a dress they liked, that flattered them, and that they could wear again…I had no idea it would mean frantic searching and agony on their part, I thought I was doing something nice! Venice and I went on the hunt for bridesmaids dresses, and since we live in wedding central, we reasoned, surely there must be something. Two hours later we had encountered monstrosity after monstrosity (long, hunter’s orange, chiffon with a BOW! I didn’t know they actually were legally able to sell something that ugly!) and I could tell she was getting frustrated enough to chew nails! David’s Bridal was explored and discarded, some pretty dresses but ridiculously priced and the alterations would cost a separate fortune. Other bridal shops were the same, the dresses in varying degrees of loath-ability. We’re about the same height (aka short) and let me tell you, no one makes pretty petite bridesmaids dresses. In fact, I’d say that very few people make pretty petite clothing for women in their early twenties period, but that’s an entirely different rant for another day. As if finding a nice bridesmaids dress wasn’t a chore to begin with, finding one in a “specialty size” was pretty near impossible, we continue to be confounded by our height (or lack thereof).
Finally we through in the towel (after we had both stopped into Anchor Blue for flip flops because we both needed a pair, were still both in our work heels, and dying) and slumped home in defeat. Then! At 10 o’clock she called (ironic, since we now live two doors down from one another) and I hurried over to see this marvelous site: Shabby Apple. Another friend had introduced me to it months ago but the memory of it was long gone. It’s a small business run out of Salt Lake City, UT and they sell nothing but fabulous dresses! She found one she really liked (it’s so classy, and not something vile that one tosses in the back of a closet never to be seen again) so we ordered it and we’re now a step closer to being done with this whole parade!
…of course, there were repercussions…I’ve had next to nothing to do at work today so I spent the day cruising the website, having to physically restrain myself from whipping out the credit card! I’m currently drooling over a few and debating which to buy first when I’m no longer out of my I’m-getting-married-and-have-better-things-to-spend-my-money-on hell. …that and today I’m buying a pair of stunning emerald earrings to wear on the big day. A girl can’t have everything. At least not all at once.
For your horror/viewing pleasure you may check out the following. I can’t belive so many people are this cruel to their friends!
Small Dog Syndrome 