Tag: Holidays

Holidays, Humor

Punk’d
“You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.”
– Colette, in New York World-Telegram and Sun, 1961

I’ve only really ever been April Fooled once.  J. convinced me he’d gotten in a car wreck and when the joke played out, he quickly must have realized that he made a major mistake.  I was furious.  Quietly, icily furious.  He sucked up his laughter, groveled appropriately and all was well.

But he hasn’t tried to Fool me ever since.  She who laughs last, and all that.  Been the perpetrator/victim of any memorable pranks?

Holidays, Humor

Lenten. Fast.

“I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.”
– Frank Butler

Anyone engaging in self denial this Spring, or are you throwing yourself into unabashed hedonism and indulgence?  I tried to think of something to give up this year but found myself at a loss.  I’ve already given up junk food, I’ve been too sick to indulge any other bad habits lately, and I swore off shopping long ago with the advent of J.’s grad school decision.  I’m a paragon of virtue these days, kittens.  And let me tell you, it’s dull as tombs!

Ergo, some irreverent humor for you, care of someecards.com.  Psst!  The last one’s my favorite!

History, Holidays, Humor

Happy V-Day, Kittens

“It is plain that men are in charge of making saints.”
– Karen Cushman, Catherine Called Birdy

How to properly celebrate St. Valentine’s Day:

Also, build yourself a cathedral if you can, it adds swagger points.

1) Be a Roman priest during the reign of the Emperor Claudius Gothicus (because that name definitely belongs to a benevolent, wise, un-tyrannical autocrat), perform marriage ceremonies for Christians, get caught, and when on trial foolishly try to convert said unfortunately named emperor.  Survive a terrific beating, stoning, and finally die when guards run out of ideas and behead you.

1a) Or maybe be an early Christian convert who gets martyred (like they tended to do), but be fuzzy on the actual death details (also like they tended to do).

1b) Or finally be an obscure early Christian hermit who, neglecting utterly to conform to the social expectations of the time, failed to be martyred at all.

2) Fade into even more complete obscurity

3) Have Chaucer casually mention the tradition that February 14th is the day that birds choose their mates and forever after be associated with romance and love.

4) Stew for nearly another 700 years and enjoy the romance, kids!

Holidays, Humor, Money

Money Honey

“Guys! Problem! I’m huge, I’m hurting people, and I’m misunderstood!”
“Just like the IRS!”
– The Fairly Odd Parents

Hello, darlings.  Did we all survive the late nights, vicious hangovers, and the guilt of (most likely) already breaking one or two resolutions?  Yes?  Excellent, sounds like you had a great holiday!

We went to a mocktail party at GS and GBIL’s place on New Year’s Eve and spent most of the weekend on the couch recuperating from late nights.  I was unaccountably grouchy, still riding the Birth Control roller coaster, but things look to be improving.  I’m old and tired at 24, pumpkins.

Now that we are emerging from the wreckage of a truly great holiday season, J. and I are taking stock.  Financially speaking this was a rough winter on us because we did Christmas and paid the (exorbitant, outrageous, soul-bleeding) fees for grad school applications all at the same time.  Higher Education is running a racket in this country – pay to apply, pay to get in, pay to register, fees, books, pay to graduate, pay to get copies of transcripts and/or diplomas, woof.  So we paid a small fortune to apply and, once we figure out where we’re going, we get to start the process of taking out loans to finance more school.

Ergo we’re filing taxes the moment that we can, got to build up our reserve again.  The goal is a healthy pile in our savings that we can live off of for the year J. is in his program.  That way we will only spend half of our lives and have to sell just one or two of our children to pay it off.  A good plan, n’est pas?

Family, Friends, Humor, Life

2010, We Hardly Knew Ye

“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.”
– Oprah Winfrey

A decade, dears.  There have been revolutions, wars, natural disasters.  There have been cures for diseases, leaps in technology, triumphs of humanity.  The iPod is approaching its 10th anniversary.  I’m 10 years on since starting high school…where does time go, exactly?

A big decade for me, all things considered.  Lots of good stuff happened, some bad as well but surprisingly little in comparison I find (which belies all my complaining, shhh).  My small galaxy of people had a pretty stellar year too.  Jane had to move three times in one year as she and her husband struggled with the economy, jobs, and life, but now they seem pretty settled (and much closer to me than California!).  Janssen had a lovely little girl.  Wise is about to follow Jannsen’s maternal lead any second now and her husband got a clerkship post that they are thrilled about.  Hennessy got married and bought a house.  Sav is graduating and her husband got into the grad school of his choice – hurray!  Venice moved (which I’m still not over) but it was the right choice for her and Val and they have a bright future ahead.  Peregrine also moved back to DC, has a fabulous job and a very special – but sadly top secret – project she’s working on.  Scarlett is in grad school in New York, dealing with personal demons (aren’t we all?) but doing so with her usual clear-eyed honesty and personal flair.  Angel got a great new job.  Margot is having some truly heinous battles in the teaching craft, but I’ve never seen her more awesome, (which, if you knew her, you would realize is a statement of gargantuan proportions).  Dad retired, Mum got a job teaching at university and they moved to the US to enjoy retirement (by which I mean, Dad flung himself into manual labor to turn a patch of East Coast backwoods into an estate).  Gio graduated high school and is on to uni himself.  Buddy and Snickers started at a new school in a new country and are doing swimmingly.

Next year will find J. graduated and off to grad school, goodness knows where.  Most likely we’ll be moving as all but one of the schools he’s applied to are in different states and/or countries.  2011 will be a year of adventures and I’m thrilled.  It’s been too long since I’ve had one.

Obligatory Goals:
Shop less.
Eat better.
Save more.
Exercise longer.
Love harder.
Complain less.
Anticipate more.

Hope the New Year brings you all the adventures you desire, kittens.  See you on the other side.

Family, Food, Holidays, Humor

Food Coma

Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
~Jim Davis

Hello, darlings.  All alive out there, no major holiday-induced injuries?  Good.  We spent this holiday with J.’s family.  Wrestling with nephews, performing in a small Christmas concert organized by nieces, and eating!

Honestly, I can’t remember eating so much anytime in recent memory.  I struggle with eating enough, I just don’t get hungry very often – much to the confusion of my husband who marvels that I can survive on a diet that’s a fraction of his.  Small amounts of food fill a small body up…usually.

No more pie! Just leave me!

I went completely overboard this weekend!  Cinnamon Pecan French Toast, ham and piles of western potatoes (meaning slathered in sour cream, cheese, and onions), my culinary genius sister-in-law’s baked ziti, and not nearly enough salad.  To say nothing of the goodies that came in stockings.  And the candy scattered all over three houses.  Oh dear.

Which, as you may have guessed, means that the obligatory New Year’s diet starts a bit sooner this year.  The combined forces of Birth Control, laziness, and the all-consuming desire I have to hibernate in winter have turned my physique inside out and that ends today!

Maybe.

Holidays, Humor, Work

The Snow Lay…Not Dinted

“Where the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even…”
– Good King Wenceslas

Dumplings!

That horrid cold is 99.5% vanquished, my Christmas shopping is 99.5% done, and I chopped off…ha!  Only about half of my hair.  I was feeling a change somewhat in advance of the new year so off it went, from mid-back to above my shoulders.

And so, I’m back at work and twiddling my thumbs because campus is vacant and covered in a soft, undisturbed cover of white (which is growing thicker by the hour).  There is very little do at work…and so much to do at home!  I could finish wrapping presents, be baking something, be working out to counteract all said baking.  I could be wrapped up in a blanket sipping tea and watching Christmas movies.  Yikes…on that note, I could do some of the laundry I’ve been avoiding all week…

Holidays, Humor, Movies

Now Available On – VHS?

“Yes!   I bought it!  And I’m not sorry!”
– C.

There are two Christmas films that were highly important to my childhood that have yet to be made into DVDs, and look likely never to be.  They are too old, too somewhat obscure.  Luckily at this festive time of year, as I scour the internet to find presents I invariably trip over treasures.

Most of the performances I’ve seen of The Nutcracker have been fairly typical: by area companies of mediocre to good skill, highly traditional, etc.  I’d have to throw you over to Scarlett for an in depth critique of the various productions and recommendations (living as she does in New York).  But my family has an old VHS sitting quietly on a shelf, taken down but once a year so it lasts longer.  This VHS is Nutcracker, the Motion Picture, and it is my definitive adaptation.  It gets played from time to time on PBS, but that’s not nearly enough for me.

What’s not to love?  Maurice Sendak provided production design!  Patricia Barker danced the role of Clara!  It’s a stunner of a film and required holiday viewing chez Small Dog.  If and when this is finally moved to DVD format, I’ll be the first in line, but in the meantime I found a killer deal for a nearly new copy on amazon.com and practically sprained my fingers in my frenzy to order it.  Everyone should own it, in my opinion, but in the meantime if you’re feeling festive and cheap, you can watch it on Hulu.

My other, more obscure little guilty pleasure is an old live action version of Beatrix Potter’s The Tailor of Gloucester (which I personally believe is one of best Christmas stories).  It stars Ian Holm as the tailor, with Thora Hird as the Mayor’s housekeeper, and even a young (gangly, awkward, with no hint of his future attractiveness) Jude Law.  This is so rare it will run you up to $80 or more…unless you haunt eBay the way I did!  I scored it for $2, and except for some shelfwear on the box, the tape is fine.

There’s no hope of this ever being made into a DVD, it was a made-for-TV production back in the 80’s.  For lack of another term, it was made cheaply.  It’s for young children.  It’s old.  And it’s completely charming and necessary for my household.

Disclaimer: yes I know magic machines exist that can convert VHS to DVDs and there is a very important reason why I haven’t employed them: I’m lazy.  Plus, recall what happened last time I used one?

Holidays, Humor

St. Nicholas Day

“Tradition!”
– Fiddler on the Roof

I have utterly failed!  I completely spaced buy goodies to put in J. and my shoes this morning…

What sort of pathetic excuse for an international am I?!

Anyone else out there celebrate St. Nicholas Day?  Or have any fun traditions for Advent?  Growing up we always put up the family tree on the first Monday in December and left it up until Epiphany.  J.’s family always goes to the zoo on Christmas Eve, this will be my first year tagging along.  Your turn, my little French hens, share!

Try not to imagine this guy dropping down your chimney, eh?
Holidays, Humor, Music

Sing, Choirs of Angels!

“Christmas is more than a time of carols, cards and candy; it is a season of dedication and decision.”
– William Arthur Ward

If you were to open my Christmas Music folder in iTunes, a quick scroll downward would tell you something else about my holiday tastes: apart from being a “purist” I’m also a traditionalist.

You won’t find Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Let it Snow, or White Christmas.

What you will find is The Cambridge Singers, Hereford Cathedral Choir, and a smattering of various monastery choirs.

You will hear Good King Wenceslas, The Cherry Tree Carol, Adeste Fideles, quite a bit of Handel, Angels We Have Heard on High, Quem Pastores Laudevere, and my very favorite The Sussex Carol.

Mum and used to sing Fum Fum Fum, while baking Christmas treats.  The whole clan, if in a silly mood, could try the Hallelujah Chorus, blissfully murdering time and tune.

Like so many other good things, though, even Christmas songs can’t be taken too seriously.  Because, traditionalist I may be, but dour faced pillar of tradition I am not!