Family, Humor, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XV (Better Late Than Never)

“Pretend it’s the weekend…we could pretend it all the time.”
– Jack Johnson

And I shall stay here.  While I can.

I just got back in town, ducklings, after visiting Gio at his university.  We were celebrating his successes, meeting the girlfriend, and generally goofing off.  Which is how Fridays should be spent, offices are dreadful places on a Spring afternoon. This Sunday I’ve also got a new nephew’s christening.  Family is fabulous, if a bit hectic.  Come Sunday evening I shall be tired.

But as always, I’ve found some fun things for you, well beloved minions, to kick off your weekends.

The best-dressed protest I’ve ever seen.

Speaking of fashion, it’s not only Ascot that brings out the wonky headgear.  Behold the evolution of Kentucky Derby hats.

I am an unabashed Whovian and Sherlock lover.  The fact that J. gets to see them months before they debut in the US drove our marriage to the brink (not true, but there was a great deal of disgruntlement on my side and malicious glee on his.  He’s very good at not giving up any, “Spoilers!”).  Here’s a NPR interview with the evil genius behind both revitalization of older brands, Steven Moffat.  Also, Sherlock resumes this Sunday on PBS, all minions are required to report for viewing duties.  There will be a quiz.

The rest of the (Western) world, as understood by the rest of the world.

Chocolate.  Do you really need any more information?

Newt Gingrich is (finally…dear heavens, finally) gone.  Luckily for us, he’s just as ridiculous and easy to mock now as he was campaigning.   Mind you read the sidebar carefully.

My godfamily always throws fabulous parties (GS in particular is famous for her “bars” – hot chocolate bars, drinks bars, and her latest triumph, lemonade bars) and Trixie and Drill’s couples shower was no different.  The presents were lovely, Trixie has excellent taste, and unfortunately now I have a strange urge to redecorate everything.  Luckily poverty prevents me.  Here’s a fabulous online shop specializing in housewares and unusual plants.  I’m particularly loving this reclaimed wine barrel cheese tray, and want to defy nature by putting these all over the house.  Weddings are dangerous, kittens!

I’m not a huge sports fan.  Naturally I root for my alma mater’s teams, and I have my English and stateside football teams (which I’m not mentioning, since I don’t want to drive any of you away/to drink, football being next to religion for some of you), but other than that, meh.  The only use I have for professional American Football is Superbowl parties, and much to J.’s annoyance, basketball doesn’t do anything for me.  But even I could get firmly behind this story.

Clever kitty.

Creeper kitty.

No plans of spawning for a few years yet, but many of my friends have cranked out bundles of joy recently, and a couple have found really nifty things for bringing up baby.  Here’s a fun tool, and here’s a lovely shop for the mums out there.

The weekly sheep.  I know they’re cultural or whatever… but rodeos (and frankly most of the American West) baffle me.

Speaking of mums, Mother’s Day is coming up.  Does anyone have any creative ideas?

Humor, Office, Secretary, Work

Office Food Chain

“If you have a job without any aggravations, you don’t have a job. ”
~ Malcolm S. Forbes

Things that make me sigh:

When an officer stands at the copy machine for several minutes staring at it before turning to me.
“C., it says open drawer one and add more paper.  Why isn’t it printing?”
“Because you need to add more paper.”
“Ok.”
He stands and looks at me for a long moment before I realize what he’s really asking.  At which point I have to leave the dozen files on my desk, the background check, and the wage changes, to walk ten feet to a cabinet labeled, “Paper,” and put a few handfuls of paper into drawer number one.

Things that make me raise an eyebrow.

Said officer watching me do the whole spiel before saying, “Well, that was easy.”

No kidding.

Humor, Life, Work

Tuesday Trials

“You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.”
– A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Upstairs neighbors have a pipe burst.

Spent lunch hour (and then some) cleaning up the damage of said pipe burst.

Now have to stay after work tonight to make up for the time spent cleaning up said damage.

Car needs a hose repair.

Did an hour of zumba and an hour of spinning last night – therefore can’t walk properly.

Scrambling to get all work assignments done (despite burst pipe) because I’m going out of town to visit my brother this weekend (which of course isn’t a trial at all, but in the light of other recent events is now significantly more complicated).

Still have to wrap a present for a couples shower tonight for Drill and Trixie, and pick up an ordered veggie platter.

And to top off today’s police news: bee swarm descends on campus – chaos ensues.

Because this day isn't weird enough.
Friends, Humor, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XIV (Style and Substance)

“Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.”
~ Joseph Addison

So, the lesson this week is that if you’re having a bad day, speak up!  After I confessed to feeling low, Jane stopped by to see me with a funny card and bunch of flowers, Peregrine wrote me the best BFF email in history, Scarlett regaled me with tales of hilarity from her internship to boost my mood, and a lovely neighbor invited me over for dinner and some girl time.  The moral of this week: complain*.  Stiff upper lips out, quivering lips in!

*Actually, the moral of this week is surround yourself with Good People and even your worst days can be alleviated rather spectacularly.

Here are your weekend links, kittens.  I’m spending mine doing yoga, brunching with Jane, and reading friend-recommended books.  How about you guys?

Nope.  I’ve puzzled it over and over and I still can’t get it.

I want to go to there: Flavorwire runs down its list of the 25 most beautiful public libraries (bibliophiles: check out the university and private library lists as well).

So remember that project from a while back that changed the various depictions of Venus to something more current in terms of body type appreciation?  Here’s another lesson in it: Pinup-up girls before and after.  Even Vargas girls don’t look like Vargas girls.

I’ve spent hours on this site planning the future presents I could make, if only I weren’t so poor.  Alas!

I am firmly of the opinion that Theodore Roosevelt was the most bad A of American presidents.  This is cause for some debate, Andrew Jackson has quite a number of devotees and to be fair he was pretty intense, but he was also an insufferable jerk, so I don’t like him as much.  Not that Ted wasn’t without his faults, but I’m far more impressed with the turn of the century style big game hunting, the Rough Riders, social reform, the national parks, and this tiny little event.  Hardcore history, kittens!

I’ve been to several of these, but I want to make it to all of them.  In the meantime, J. is on assignment to visit so we can all live vicariously through him in the meantime.

Some fun City Hall weddings are style profiled on Refinery 29.  Lovely!  I had the whole shebang type of wedding and loved every minute of it, but I do like some of the smaller, non-traditional varieties.  Basically, I like parties of every size and shape.

The weekly sheep.  A stupid tradition continues, and this particular sheep expresses his opinion about it.

Humor, Office, Work

Sense of Humor Restored

“A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.”
~ Coco Chanel

Sitting at my desk, I asked one of the officers to review a background check I was running for him.  As I reached for the file I was suddenly arrested by a sound of heavy sniffing behind me.  Puzzled, I turned around and found him with an embarrassed look on his face.
“Sorry,” he said, “I just caught of a whiff of your perfume.  It smells really nice.”
I felt my eyebrows lifting.  “Ah.  Thank you.  But-”
“That was more than a little awkward, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Let’s never speak of this again,” he said firmly.
“Sorry, I fully intend to tell the ladies, which pretty much guarantees you’ll be hearing about this for a couple of weeks at least.”
“Damn it.”

Yes, awkward, but really funny if you know the man, and not nearly on the creep scale of this guy.

*For the record, she-minions, Chanel.  The classics (apparently) never go out of style.

Humor, Life

I Am a Dandelion (or, Indulge Me In Some Existentialism)

“In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Today, feeling sick, stressed, tired, and lonely, I went to the Oracle, otherwise known as Peregrine (fourteen years and she hasn’t steered me wrong once).  Taking her advice, after I left work I went into the mountains to be alone for a bit, to think and emote.

It was invigorating to get angry about being separated from my husband – up to this point I’ve tried very hard to put up a good front and be cheerful about the whole thing, but anyone whose ever done it will tell you it’s exhausting.  Thinking about job hunting, the economy, and the singular ability for the firm we want most to hear from to stretch the hiring process into more than half a year, I felt a flood of fear and anxiety.  Thinking about my two bedroom flat empty but for me (Margot having moved to her place of soon to be wedded bliss), and all my friends  who now like scattered along the Eastern seaboard while I’m stuck in the West, I indulged in feeling very lonely and left behind.  Reviewing my life plans and realizing how little I’ve accomplished compared to what I wanted to by this point, a clutch of panic squeezed me.  Thinking of what I’ve accomplished and gained instead, gratitude put in a welcome appearance.  A host of other slices of me put in cameo roles too – shame, jealousy, disdain, longing, hope, happiness, and a whole lot of frustration.

About an hour later, feeling very worn out (and if I’m truthful, a bit peckish), I made it home.  My problems weren’t smaller or easier to deal with, much less completely gone, but on the way I drove by a small grassy area completely overtaken with dandelions, and looking at them I suddenly felt better.

My patch.

I love dandelions.  I know I’m not supposed to, no one is.  I’m supposed to hate how unkempt they look, how neglectful.  I’m supposed to be irritated at how hard they are to kill and how annoying they are at making more of themselves.  I am supposed to find them messy, irritating, and ugly.

But I don’t.  I love them for all those reasons.  I love their cheerful, almost vulgar indestructibility.  They are garish splotches of disorder on what should be nothing but velvety green grass.  They spring up between concrete cracks, fed on nothing but sand and discarded cigarette butts.  They are glorious, golden middle fingers to perfect lawns, anal groundskeepers, and people who think life should always look pretty and grass should be no more than an inch tall.

I feel like a dandelion.

I am messy and irritating.  I don’t really belong where I currently live, I would rather some huge unseen hand pluck me up tomorrow and with one massive puff blow me somewhere else (preferably right to J.’s front door in London).  I don’t think that life is easy or neat, even when you are doing the right or good thing.  I am tough, perky, and pesky.  And, let’s face it, I truly love messing with people’s well ordered lives.

I am a dandelion.  And dandelions have enough gumption to make it through bad days.

Humor, Life, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XIII (Short and Sweet)

“I have a stag weekend coming up and I have said I’m not doing anything more than a few drinks.  I won’t have it.  I will go home and watch Antiques Roadshow.”
– Martin Freeman

Still a bit out of it. Normalcy will restore itself eventually.

Equilibrium slowly restoring, kitten, but still not functioning at full capacity, so with that in mind, here’s your links.  I can’t quite be bothered to be exceptionally clever today.  Give me the weekend and it’s usual copious amounts of PBS and we’ll see what I can stir up for you.

Animals who are extremely disappointed in you.

The always hyperbolic and usually inappropriate Cracked.com takes on The Hunger Games.

Meet Henri, the existential French cat, your new favorite feline.

Rules of a Gentleman.  Preach.

This offends me.  I suspect J. would die a happy man.  Our marriage is a strange animal.

Summer brings out the WASP ancestry in me and I begin to crave preppy things.  Like these.

My old school mate does it again.  Now that J. is back in London (and let’s not talk about it too much, the wound is pretty raw) I can go back to my mostly vegetarian eating habits.  To be clear I’m not anti-meat, pro-vegan, or any you-must-live-this-way-or-forever-be-deemed-a-heathen sorts of philosophies.  I just like the financial, culinary, and caloric break of not needing to eat meat everyday.  J. may have acclimated himself to salads and vegetables living with me, but heaven help you if that’s all you feed him!

Um…people?  I don’t think this is the way… Let me rephrase: stopitstopitstopit!

Fascinating look at our ever evolving relationship to social media, the importance of being along, and difference between that and being lonely.  An equally fascinating interview with the author.

The weekly sheep.

Humor, Husband, Travel

The Proverbial Straw

“The camel has a single hump,
The dromedary two;
Or else the other way around,
I’m never sure, are you?”
– Ogden Nash

I put J. on a plane yesterday morning, and it was horrible.  Somehow the first six months of this project were awful but doable, but the prospect of the last three months somehow feels unbearable all of a sudden.

I was determined to get him off to London with a stiff upper lip, lots of support, the usual sort of thing…and then on Tuesday night we went to Target to pick up a few last minute things for him.  We walked into the store and I froze like I’d slammed into a brick wall.  The whole thing had apparently undergone a massive renovation in under a week.  Every single department had been shifted around, the layout had been completely changed, and I couldn’t find anything.

And I can carry a lot of damned straw.

And apparently that was enough to trigger the randomest of neurotic collapses. Minor existential crises, a husband leaving the country, and work concerns and ambitions piling up I could handle.  But screw up my local Target and that poor camel of legend is done for.

J. held back howls of laughter as I marched through the store muttering, “What is this doing here?  Who’s idea was this?  This is all wrong!”
“Look,” he said, trying not to snicker, “now you’ll have to come back and explore it.  It’ll make for a fun shopping trip.”
“I am never coming back here,” I vowed.
“Why not?”
Because…because…”  I looked around trying to put a name to the problem before settling on, “Because someone moved my cheese!”

After making it home, having a cute cuddle and a quick cry, I felt better.  But only marginally.  After dropping him off at the airport I was so out of it I missed my exit and had to go on a bit of a highway adventure to get back on track.  Two days later, I still feel like the cosmos have moved my cheese.  My equilibrium is off, kittens, and I’m struggling trying to get it back.

Basically, I’m sad and having a bad day.

Humor, Life

Getting On With It, And Other Concerns

“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.”
~ Charlie McCarthy

Ducklings?  Come, sit by me and let’s have a semi-serious musing together, alright?

Ponder with me.

Do you ever get bored?  That is a ridiculous question, and I’m aware of it, but I’m honestly curious.  I ask because when scrolling through the list of incredible and incredibly talented friends that make up my address book, I am struck at how many of them look at their accomplishments and feel an overwhelming sense of “whatever.”  Multiple friends and acquaintances, whose experiences and opportunities I genuinely envy and admire, have recently expressed how unimpressed with or apathetic they are towards those things I’d kill to have right now.

It makes me feel better, because I feel as if my life is incredibly unimpressive (at least of late), and apparently I’m in good company.  But it doesn’t stop the feelings of apathy, boredom, listlessness, and (occasionally) resentment from cropping up.

It certainly affects my writing.  From time to time I try to figure out just what exactly I’m doing with this blog.  It started as a way to just get me to write when I was getting lazy, it morphed into a way to share the funny stories of my workplace and served as a place for me to comment snidely but fondly on the tiny slice of humanity I am privileged to observe so closely.  I like this little blog of mine, I have no intention of abandoning it, but on it’s journey that so closely mirrors my own, it’s a bit stale and lacking focus.  Not entirely unlike myself.

We’re coming up on another major life shift in the near future (the end of schooling for both parties in my marriage) and with all life shifts one has to sit down and figure out, “What the hell do I do now?”  It’s cliche and trite, but it’s not a trivial question.  For the first time in years I’m getting the chance to really make some decisions about the direction I want my/our life to go… and I’m discovering that my ability to be proactive, my gumption, and my basic major-life-shift skills have all atrophied somewhat.

I’ve gotten complacent.  I’ve not been a major actor in my own life (or so it feels) in a long time.  I am faced with trying something new and for the first time I feel so incredibly daunted.  I’ve hopped continents during major terrorist threats and made it through earthquakes and typhoons with less trepidation!  I’m desperate for change, growth, new opportunity, but a little worried that I’m not as capable of handling it as I once was.

Then of course, every once in a while reason reasserts itself and says, “C., you of all people know that, will you, nill you, life goes on.  And you also know that whether or not you choose to worry about, you will have no choice but to just get on with it.  And, finally, you know that you generally land on your feet.  This philosophizing of yours is fun, but hardly necessary.”

My subconscious never lets me wallow.  It’s useful, but annoying.

So, minions, do you find yourself getting bored?  Complacent?  Underwhelmed?  Ready for a change?  And what do you do if you still have to wait a while to shake things up (even if the wait is only a couple of months)?  More importantly, how do you jumpstart your own lives after letting things coast for a while?

Humor, Life, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XII (Extra wordy this week)

“It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?”
― Amy Neftzger

Have my lectures really sunk in? I may have accidentially put myself out of work...

Another day, another seemingly crime free week on campus.

I’m starting to feel badly, ducklings, I used to have all sorts of tales of human silliness for you, but the well has run dry the last few months.  I don’t know if that means I’ve finally reached the point of saturation where even truly heinous examples of Darwinism at work are so commonplace that I don’t even register them…or if it’s time to find a new topic.  I suspect the latter.

We’ll make that Monday’s post, in the meantime, look at the shiny things I found for you to play with this weekend!  Don’t put them in your mouth, you don’t know where they’ve been.

J. is a huge Muppet fan (this may be the grossest understatement of the century).  I am too, but my love is as peanuts compared to his.  I have never seen him turn into a shrieking little boy but for once, in the Smithsonian Museum of American History looking at a case filled with Henson’s original creations.  But I digress.  In addition to the Muppets proper, we were both raised on Sesame Street and have fond memories of the monsters who rehearsed the ABC’s with us.  Grover was my favorite, but Elmo seems to be the universal beloved.  You’d never guess how the man behind him came to be – which is why anyone who loved the red furry beast should check out the documentary Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey.  J. and I watched it the other night and I admit my eyes watered.  (We watched it on Independent Lens, and although it’s not available on the website yet, it may be soon.  Otherwise, Netflix this sucker!)

Here, more fun and pretty baubles for you to look at.  I am particularly coveting this bag.  Minions should remember my birthday is fast approaching… ahem!

I hoarded books from a young age, and even as a kid I remember loving some books for no other reason than their illustrations.  Here are some of the most beloved children’s book illustrators according to flavorwire.    Gustave Doré,  and Ivan Bilibin are illustrators whose work I remember from my childhood, though I had no idea who they were then.  Virginia Frances Sterret is someone I need to look into more.

This is a link originally passed on to me by Peregrine, who always manages to find some of the best articles out there.  I’ve been having more than usually strong wander lust twitches lately (it’s been made exponentially worse with J. in London, I’ve planned all sorts of imaginary weekend getaways!), and I’ll add walking across Provence to the list.

The great change is…not upon me for several years yet…but lately my skin has been going through a mid-20’s change.  Suddenly blemishes have been turning up where there never were before – not even during puberty!  This has been obnoxious as I’ve always been rather fond of my good skin, it’s the pride of my dermatologist, but as always there are cures.  I’ve discovered this.  It’s fantastic.

Tumblr find of the week.  The best part?  She submitted one of her own! (Edited to add: like all good things, as soon as I find it, it goes away.  I have the same effect on certain brands and cuts of work trousers.  Alas!  Luckily Facebook is helping keep this glorious thing alive.)

Never would do it.  Gotta respect it.

Study up, ladies, miscommunication kills relationships.

Oh dear.  Oh dear.  I have a sudden, almost uncontrollable urge to take this on my next international flight.  Oh dear…

Ha!  Anything done “in the Flemish style” is going to be fun!

The weekly sheep.