Category: Money

Style Isn’t Shallow

“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.”
― Gore Vidal

What do we talk about when we talk about style?

I deliberately chose the theme of “Style” for this month over fashion or beauty because, even though the terms are often used interchangeably, I don’t believe they are perfectly synonymous. When I talk about style, and this is the framework I want to use in discussing it this month, I am talking about the series of choices we make everyday in how we choose to physically present ourselves in public. The manifestations of these choices are what we wear and buy. Sometimes these choices are informed by trends, sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes these choices are intentional, sometimes they are reflexive. But whether you look like you just stepped out of the pages of Vogue, or have built your wardrobe entirely thanks to Goodwill, style is fundamentally personal and individual.

In a very real way, whether we are conscious about it or not (and goodness knows I haven’t always been), the myriad of day to day decisions about what we choose to put on our faces and bodies or in our homes are markers of how we are choosing to spend our resources, attention, and time. Not only that, our physical personal presentations encompass a lot of broad notions, including gender identity, political and social values, and consumerism in general with all its attendant issues.

I think that people who turn their noses up at style and fashion often betray a reverse snobbery that’s dismissive of the very real concerns and issues of consumer culture, an ignorance of how deeply impactful fashion and style are in almost everyone’s day to day lives (regardless of race, income, or any number of factors), and often a casual misogyny against seemingly “shallow” women or prejudice against gender nonconforming men.

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Style–the everyday choices we make–is not shallow. It’s the physical manifestation of both unique identity, and an awful lot of human realities. Hopefully, by framing it in this active way, we’ll find some interesting aspects of style to talk about this month. I’m opening up my closet and bathroom shelf for scrutiny, and hoping to gain a bit of insight into my own choices and habits, as well as learning more about yours in the comments.

 

Your turn, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this month’s topic and on this post. Let me know what the term “style” means to you, and if you agree with my definition or not. Who meets your definition of a stylish person, and how you define your own sense of style?

Style Month

“Fashion changes, but style endures.”
― Coco Chanel

Welcome to Style Month at SDS! Throughout April we’re going to be talking beauty, fashion, makeup, identity, psychology, marketing, and consumerism–because style is anything but a shallow concept.

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I’m hoping to shake things up with some new post formats, a bit of personal writing, and of course to continue to work towards being  smarter, savvier consumer overall. Even though we’re going to be talking about what’s often considered a frivolous topic (false), this very much falls under the yearly theme of: Less But Better when it comes to spending and consuming in general.

Like unto Money Month, I hope you guys will play along, comment, share your own posts and writing on similar topics, and signal boost other content worth sharing. If a book has changed your thoughts on style, share it! If you’ve developed a signature look, let me know how you found it! I hope to tick off a few more of my 101/1001 goals but mostly I’m looking forward to discussing an oddly personal topic in a hopefully broad and interactive way with the minion coterie. I really enjoyed my last month-long project and am hoping you guys enjoy this one just as much.

Budget and Ban Check In

“There are people who have money and people who are rich” 
– Coco Chanel

My second shopping ban is winding down and as promised, I thought it was a good time to do a budgeting check in as a follow up to my Money Month project. My basic household budget is still accurate, and by rigorously curtailing spending, we’ve been able to chip at some debt in small but steady ways. The hustle continues to pay off and I’m happy to say I’ve landed a new year-long contract that, well shepherded, should enable us to pay off debt a bit more aggressively than we are doing already. It will also allow us to do a bit more travelling, which we very much want to prioritize this year.

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In February I met my goal of not eating out for the entire month–with two exceptions where a meeting or event at work (which promised food) fell through at the last minute. In those instances, I ate at a cheap canteen for less than £5 each. To put it simply, I was shocked at how much savings this produced. I knew I was spending more than I wanted on food on the go, but sometimes it takes a moment of sharp relief to throw it into perspective. Ever since I’ve been recommitted to prepping my meals in advance and have almost entirely eschewed paying for coffee or tea.

As for my other short term goals, I wasn’t able to do my £40/week goal of grocery shopping for this month, but that’s simply due to disorganization on my part and I’ll be returning to this goal at some point.  I did meet my goal of no entertainment spending, however. Netflix and Amazon Prime have been getting a lot of use! We’ve also devised a simple but easily monitored plan to pay off a couple of credit cards quickly and are on track to do so. Regarding donating, I’ve set up a regular donation to my public broadcasting peeps and plan on adding other regular donations to the budget once my new contract kicks in. And I’ve been sticking to my monthly cash budget as an article of faith!

My shopping ban has been another fantastic reset for me. Over the 12 months, 6 of them have been spent consciously not buying new stuff and I think it has helped me get a sense of my retail therapy, impulse purchase, and casual spending habits. It’s forced me to shop my own closet (more on that next month!), and experiment with my makeup and accessories more rather than simply coveting an entire new outfit or piece when I’m bored or frustrated with my wardrobe. I’ll be lifting the ban on April 1st, but don’t expect to dive into a wave of shopping as a result. I’ve got a relatively short list of items I need (mostly work related) but other than that, I’m going to try to stick to what I have until I’ve used more pieces up.

Full disclosure I did make a cheat purchase (a limited edition highlighter from the Estée Lauder and Victoria Beckham collaboration, which I missed out on during it’s original launch), but I felt able to justify it by cutting other discretionary spending that didn’t fall under my ban. For instance, instead of replacing some skincare products when they ran out, I used other items in my bathroom cupboards that I’ve previously passed on in favor of other products or just plain forgot about. I’ve kept my eye on a few new makeup and beauty items over the past few months but by being forced to sit on my hands instead of snapping them up, I’ve been able to evaluate my own needs and desire for them a bit more judiciously. As a result, my shopping list has shrunk to just a couple of items for when my ban expires.

So all in all, instead of stuff, I’d like to focus my money attention for the next few months on continuing debt pay down, travel, and items for the apartment. Not a bad place to be!

Spending Diary Vol. 5

“A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.”
– Jonathan Swift

In the interest of full and final disclosure, here is the last of my spending diary for the month of January this year. I gave myself a final food indulgence and ordered dinner on Tuesday as I committed to not eating out once during February, let’s see how that goes!

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This has been an amazingly useful project, so thanks again for playing along and holding me accountable. And thanks to everyone who commented and shared these posts, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by all the kind and thoughtful engagement from this series. As always, the Minion Coterie are the real MVPs around here.

Sunday
Renewed blog registration: 22.00
Delivery customs charge (for what, I’m not sure, but apparently I have a package incoming?): £14.27

Monday
Lunch: £4.10
Travel card renewal and top up: £43.00

Tuesday
Lunch: £16.50
Coffee for  pal having a bad day: £3.90
Dinner: £24.00
Groceries: £25.00

Total £152.77

The End of “Money Month”

“Being happy isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you have.”
– Carrie Fisher

It’s the end of Money Month and so here’s a bit of an overall update for those who have been playing along. Writing about money and consumption has been a really helpful exercise for me in trying to consciously change or update my habits. In some cases I was surprised at the personal insights I explored, in others, I only confirmed my existing suspicions about my financial choices.

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image via Death to the Stock Photo

What have we done?

As a broad status report, our student loan debt is down from nearly $100k initially to less than $16k. Huzzah!

I’ve written a new household budget that I’ll be sticking to (and reporting back on periodically, as it ticks off a 101/1001 goal).

I kicked off another personal shopping ban, one month of three down!

I reinstated my monthly cash budget and stuck to it. In fact, I took it a step further and consolidated all the spare cash and coins in the house to start using our loose change instead of letting it accumulate. As a result, I didn’t once withdraw cash from an ATM this month.

I ticked off another 101/1001 goal by documenting my spending daily, and I learned quite a bit about my casual spending and how it adds up.

Where do we go from here?

Two more months of a personal spending freeze before another self evaluation.

In February I’m going to try and avoid eating out once to tick off another 101/1001 and save in the area where a lot of my discretionary money has gone.

In March I’m going to try and limit my grocery spending to £40 a week, which will require some more planning than usual.

No entertainment spending for two months as well. Instead of going to the theatre or movies etc., I’m going to put that money towards outstanding credit card balances.

Develop a family monthly credit card payment plan. Some months we’ve paid large payments, others just the minimum. I’d like to set monthly target as part of the larger goal to pay them off entirely in the foreseeable future. With our student loans in hand and a sustainable path forward on them, credit is the area of my financial life I want to tackle next.

Incorporate regular donations to causes I care about. Setting aside the personal if this month has taught me anything it’s that this is not a time in which to stay stay silent.

What I’ve learned:

I still believe I’m not bad with money, but what I’ve discovered I am is unregimented and that needs to change.

Specificity is everything. Limits or targets that I can monitor and track helps tremendously, while having a lofty or vague sort of goal is useless to me. I’m not a vision board girl, I’m a list girl!

Breaking down my financial goals into even smaller increments than I used to also helps me achieve larger aims. Sometimes even monthly goals are too vague for me or too easy to forget–or talk myself out of! Weekly goals, on the other hand, are a lot easier for me to keep at the top of my priority list. I’m amending a lot of my habits around this insight, not just financial ones.

What’s a financial goal you’ll be working on this year? How will you be tracking it? 

Spending Diary Vol. 4

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
-Seneca

After getting a bit sloppy last week, I decided to buckle down and organize more this week. I’m still adjusting to a new schedule and some of my anxiety habits are trying to creep in to muck with things like sleep and morning routines, but progress is being made. Again, food took up a lot of spend, but I feel like I have a much better handle on it this week, and was able to use food prep leftovers better.

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Sunday
I wasn’t feeling well after the march on Saturday so we had a slow day. We went to our local brunch joint, did a decent amount of grocery shopping (heavy on the cheap items like pasta), and then I did some packaging prep for leftovers to take to work tomorrow, plus some portioned green smoothie ingredients in freezer bags.
Brunch: £32.80
Groceries: £44.00
Amazon Prime (a monthly recurring cost): £6.25

Monday
Vexation! I packed both snacks and a lunch and was feeling smug…until the office microwave gave up the ghost spectacularly. Alas that my lunch was soup. I had to buy some food, but forewarned is forearmed, and I prepped salad mixes for future meals this week so as not to rely on the kitchen.
Travel card renewal: £33.00
Lunch: £9.60

Tuesday
Much better behaved today, except for one indulgence…
Coffee (cash): £2.90. Bad, C.!

Wednesday
Lunch with a friend in from out of town: £21.00

Thursday
My sleep had been out of wack for several days now (for no readily apparent reason besides groundless anxiety, which is annoying) and I came home feeling like I’d been smacked with a chair and very much not up for cooking. Indian takeaway order it is, planned to account for multiple meals.
Lunch (cash): £4.20
Snack (cash): £1.60
Dinner: £24.80

Friday
Breakfast (cash): £4.70

Saturday
Solo brunch, Jeff was catching up with some of his buddies and I took myself, a bunch of podcasts, and a book off to a local joint to munch and catch up on my reading. It was delightful!
Brunch: £16.40

Total: £201.25

Thursday Poll: Wants v. Needs

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
― Jackie Mason

Let’s have moment of radical honesty together. Following an earlier post, and in the interest of full disclosure, here’s a by-no-means comprehensive list of things I don’t have and shamelessly want. Some are silly, some are serious, some I clearly don’t need, but if money were no object, these were the things that first sprang to mind:

All debt paid off in an instant

A suddenly, fully furnished apartment

A new pair of high waisted jeans that don’t have holes in the knees

Always more lipstick

Over-the-knee boots

A fully outfitted kitchen

Multiple media subscriptions

A realistic path towards owning property

A TV

Houseplants

An iPad to make work on the go easier

A spa day

Gucci loafers (second hand of course)

A cleaning service

An immediately available annual travel budget

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Literally everything I took with me for a long weekend abroad once. 

But were I not on a shopping ban and suddenly had more spending money for the month, what would I get tomorrow if I had to prioritize? I gave myself a mental exercise and actually thought about this for a while: what do I feel like I actually need right now? I consulted my running lists of personal and home good wants before writing another list down:

A larger monthly payment towards student loans/credit cards. Eliminating these suckers would not just free up income, but reduce a lingering background stressor, and allow us to start saving more.

A monthly contribution towards NPR and PBS, given the current political climate. I classify this as a need, because I am very seriously feeling a need to contribute time and money to the causes I care about moving forward. Talk is cheap!

A stock pot for the purposes of more winter soups and the ability to make larger quantities of food during meal prep.

A new and better quality duvet for our bed. Winter ain’t coming any more, it’s here!

Possibly the unwripped jeans…but I have other trousers to wear so then again, probably not!

And…that’s it. I’m serious. What I want and what feel I need have next to no overlap at the moment. I have a place to live, means to get around, pretty hood health overall, and the ability to buy food. I’m up to date on my health appointments, a huge amount of quality media is available to me either free of charge or relatively cheap, and clothes on my back. Everything else would be nice to have but I’m either working towards it, I can get by with what I’ve got in the meantime, or I frankly don’t need it.

Which leads me to conclude, in spite of a good overall sense of how much I spend, I’ve underestimated how much of my life I’ve framed in terms of “wants.” It’s very easy to want things, it takes discipline to determine actual needs. And I’ve clearly been less disciplined than I’d like to admit.

If you made a list of needs, what would be the top three right now? What about what you want–and remember, this is a judgement free zone! 

Money Lessons (and Others Learned) from 2016

“We become aware of the void as we fill it.”
― Antonio Porchia

Full disclaimer, this post is going to come across somewhat grim at times, but stick with me here. 2016 was one of our biggest earning years ever, but it also had some decent setbacks in it as well and reflecting over some lessons learned, I’m realizing why financial planning and accountability were such an important topic for me to focus on at the start of the new year: I’m starting to plan bigger.

For a long time the goals we were working towards had a specific timeline and time frame–graduating high school, graduating university, getting a first job, etc.. Our biggest goals were moving to London and start careers there, which we’ve done and are proud of, but even that was achievable in a specific (relatively short) time. Nothing on the future list is really short term any more. We’re thinking about the next thirty to forty years of our working lives, the pros and cons of buying property, whether or not we’re going to try to have kids, if we want to retire in this country or somewhere else…the big stuff.

Even though most people are already working on their Big Plans in some way, 2017 feels like a year where we’re starting to be much more intentional about it. And therefore, some of the biggest lessons learned from last year have been…

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Sh*t happens. From our landlady deciding to sell our relatively cheap apartment to deaths in the family, financial curveballs were thrown. We’re fortunate that we’re young, able to work, willing to work hard, and making enough to cope with hiccups. But being able to cope is not the same thing as assuming from the outset that hiccups and curveballs are coming and being prepared.

Sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off and sometimes plans fall through. Not to throw shade on parents, teachers, and any number of self-help gurus, but I no longer believe in the simple, “work hard and everything will work out” line. Not that this means I’m allowed to throw in any towels, the onus is still very much on me to put my all into everything I choose to do. But what I’ve learned is that sometimes, no matter how much work you put into something, it simply will not go the way you want. Projects fail, jobs don’t work out the way you hoped, people disappoint you, freelance gigs fall through, pitches die on the slushpile.

Related to this point, setbacks and failures are not critical. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m getting older and more wise, or just more practical, but failing at things no longer affects me the way it did in my school years and early 20s. Time was that a rejected pitch would sucker punch my confidence in a bad way. These days with experience and the wisdom of veteran friends, I know that an ignored pitch is not a crisis so much as a typical Tuesday.

That being said, what working hard and working through those typical Tuesdays does ensure is that opportunities keep coming. And even though some of those opportunities end in the slushpile, lots and lots and lots of other don’t! The successes come intermixed, not unadulterated.

Being busy is not being successful. If you are working round the clock and not any better off for it (in terms of your paycheck, health, balance, ambition, or growth) then what you’re experiencing is not success. It’s a quick route to burnout, which is no good because…

There typically is no big payoff, life just goes on. One of the most interesting aspects of the adult world for me was that it doesn’t stop. There is no summer vacation or end of term, there is no finish line or final project. There is no break until retirement, and for my generation even that is up in the air. Meaning that financial plans, career aspirations, skill development, and goals need to have a longer term view than they used to. See opening paragraph.

Being able to afford an indulgent night out with friends, a good apartment, the ability to go visit family in a crisis…those are small, everyday, but important victories that matter and mean we’re mostly on the right track.

Discussion time in the comments. What big lessons, financial or otherwise, did you take out of last year?

Weekend Links: The OK Ladies Now Let’s Get in Formation Edition

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

In case you missed it, the Womens March on Washington (and sister marches around the world, including the one I participated in in London) might have made some records. The coverage is still coming in and it’s amazing to see — more amazing to have participated in. You can see some my images here, but this is a story worth following and watching. To say nothing of joining in. Welcome to the Grab Back.

Oh yeah, and the US has a new president who doesn’t seem to be “pivoting” from his campaign persona in any way. Shock, surprise. I watched his inauguration because I’m a citizen and think it’s important to support the process of free government. The new First Lady looked absolutely lovely, and I thought it was gracious and correct for Secretary Clinton to show up in spite of how awful I expect it felt. The speech was Orwellian, but bang on from the tone of his campaign. The next day I laced up my shoes and hit the streets to make it clear that he was not elected with a mandate and I will be supporting the issues that I care about with my time, my money, and my voice. Because again, I think it’s important to support the process of free government. This is how it works.

Here are your links, kittens. Tell me what you got up to this weekend.

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I found this piece at Politico a very timely read. It opines that President Trump’s hostility towards the press may be a blessing in disguise. If the traditional lines of communication between the administration and the media are clipped, the press can and should (this writer argues) fan out to the myriad unofficial lines instead and take up the opportunity to do more and more extensive investigative reporting.

Also, what did the administration do on Day 2? Malign the press in the face of documented facts and figures, and talk a lot about himself in his “reach out” to the CIA.

Don’t let anyone say the Women’s March doesn’t matter. 2.9 million participants is not a “tantrum.”

An interesting piece on the physical logistics of changing over an administration.

An important reminder about some of the realities of race and privilege, especially when it comes to assembly. I for one, know I can do better and I intend to.

This SNL from Asiz Ansari was great and nicely nuanced against hysteria. We’ll be fine and the people ultimately set the tone for change, and if yesterday is any indication…

Shut up and take my money.

A bit more fashion levity and some street style.

STOP. I swear every time I read an article like this, my heart breaks a little. I know there are more important immediate issues, such as the civilian lives in the crosshairs right now, but this hateful and deliberate dismantling of human history is also hideous

Album of the week: Radiohead, A Moon Shaped Pool

Spending Diary, Vol. 3

“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
― Françoise Sagan

This was a good week personally but a bit sloppy financially. I started a great new gig contract, and worked towards an amazing opportunity with a magazine that hopefully will pan out soon. Fingers crossed! I had another big (planned) purchase this week and so planned to use the results of my kitchen audit to keep grocery shopping to a minimum in order to use food items we already had in the house as the basis of most of our at home meals.

A little planning goes a long way for me and disruptions to my schedule, even welcome ones like starting a new client contract, can throw me off. I did a decent amount of meal prep, but wasn’t as organized overall as I should have been and so even though I cooked plenty, I didn’t pre-package as I should have. Getting out the door in the morning therefore involved a couple of extra steps, which were all too easy to discard. And now that I’m in a client office all day and coming home later, my willpower to be productive in the evening has been a bit…lacking.  I ended up using over a quarter of my monthly cash allowance on food on the go–definitely one of my Achilles heels.

Therefore this weekend we’re both of us doing some shopping and prep together to do better next week! But first, I’m eating doughnuts following the Womens March in London.

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Sunday
We were naughty and decided to grab Indian takeaway, but in order to justify it, we switched up our normal order to ensure we each got at least three meals each out of our spend, which took care of several dinners this week.
Food: £30.00

Monday
Months ago I signed up for early access to Hamilton tickets, which is opening in London at the end of this year, and buying opened up today. Our show date is months and months away, so there’s no quick emotional payoff, but I managed to score non-nosebleed seats for a fairly reasonable price!
Travel card renewal: £33.00
Hamilton tickets: £115.00
Coffee (cash): £2.75
Quick grocery run (cash): £6.00

Tuesday
Alas for an absent mind and a need for toiletries. We’d made it as long as we could using up our travel sized contact solution bottle, but had run out and so a Boots run was needed.
Coffee (because I left mine at on the counter leaving the house, cash): £2.90
Contact solution and facial cleansing wipes: £14.30

Wednesday
This was the first of a stretch of days where I really failed to get my ducks in a row.
Coffee again (cash): £2.90
Lunch (cash): £9.60

Thursday
I got a better start to the day but had to do another Boots run when we realized we were out of yet more things in the bathroom, like cotton buds.
Boots run for toiletries: £18.50
Lunch: £4.20

Friday
Breakfast (cash): £4.80
Lunch: £4.20
Snack: £.80
Pharmacy shop for, ahem, feminine articles: £3.50
Date night: £23.00

Saturday
Doughnuts to recharge after the Womens March in London: £30.00

Total: £301.25