Category: Life

Who’s In Charge Here?

“Children have one kind of silliness, as you know, and grown-ups have another kind.”
– C.S. Lewis

J. and I both had, “Oh dear, we’re grown up…” moments last night.

J.’s experience was in a grocery store where he heard two girls talking about graduating, and they looked so young! “There are full grown adults,” he said, with some resignation in his voice, “who are younger than us.”

This is a pretty surprising thing, to be honest.  Working at a university, living in a university town, it gets a bit easy to smugly lump the majority of the residence together as “those helpless little darlings,” that you tend to see the most of – freshmen and sophmores who generally haven’t a clue.  But we’ve lived here long enough post my graduation that entire class of students has cycled through their four year degrees and scampered off to greater things.  To many of them, we are their Five Year Plan personified – there’s horror for you.

My clash with age was at my zumba class where for fun the instructor taught us the routine to Michael Jackson’s Thriller, which I thought was great fun for the upcoming holiday spirit.  Walking out of the gym, I overheard two girls talking to one another.
“I liked it except for that weird monster dance we did.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t even a good song.”
Cue C. clutching herself in horror.

The decade I was born in is now something to be trotted out in fashion or for parties, usually “ironically.”  I lived before the internet – something we’re only a couple of freshman classes away from being ancient history.  I lived during the bleeding Cold War, when the Soviet Union was a country, Europe was split down the middle, and communism was still a threat, instead of a largely pejorative term to be hurled at anyone who disagrees with you socially.   And these people have no idea who Michael Jackson was except for the last few, collapsing years of his life!  What gives!

J.’s less than a month away from 27, which somehow seems unnervingly closer to 30 than 26 for some reason, and he’s only seven months older than me.  We’re the grown ups.

Dear heavens…

Get Up, Get Out

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
– Albert Einstein

Thanks for your lovely encouragement the other week.  All evil overladies should have a coterie of such fabulous minions.  I’m taking it to heart and working out a few schemes!

J. and I went on a bit of a spree last night.  He picked me up from the gym and we ran a couple of boring errands – and quite suddenly we decided to run more errands for fun and ended up driving nearly all the way to the city mostly just to wander around shops.  And this is not a pastime either of us are known for.  I found his birthday present and took advantage of free samples (I am a sucker for lotions and potions, particularly the kind I don’t have to pay for).  Burgundy was on the mind, we both trawled for the shade – he for pants I for a blazer.  We ended up getting ice cream, which we haven’t done in months if not a couple of years.

It was delightful!  It’s nothing big but we’ve not done anything spontaneous of late and deciding in the late evening (still dressed in workout gear) to just go was remarkably refreshing.  There is nothing so mind numbing as routine and boredom.  Slough it off whenever you can.

If necessary, fight.

More of the Same

“Even boredom has its crises.”
– Mason Cooley

There’s been more than the usual amount of radio silence here at Small Dog Enterprises.  We’ve had a few shifts around at work which has meant short (if any) lunch breaks and coming in early/staying late.  And as lunch is when I do a good portion of my writing, you can see how this leads to a general problem.  Never fear, this is (supposedly) a limited issue and hopefully a replacement will be found for the cad who’s departure left us in the lurch – looking at you, Off. Lampost!

The long and short of it is that I’ve taken on all police front desk area work so my workload has at least doubled.  The irony of it.  I’ve been asking for more things to do since about the time I started here four years ago (Sidenote- gack!  Four years!  Time to go) and I’m sure there are any number of quotes to the effect that Providence punishes people by giving them exactly what they ask for.

But also, as per usual for this time of year, I’m feeling stuck again.  I think Autumn is so wrapped up in my head with new changes, projects and challenges that when it rolls around and nothing changes significantly, I start to get antsy.

I am ready to move on.  I’ve come to appreciate this job, as much as I like to grouse about it, because it has taught me to work.  I thought I knew what work was when I graduated university – four years later I look back on my younger self with a headshake and a, “Oh, honey, just you wait.”  But now that I have some applicable skills under my belt, I want to do something with them besides just answering phones and puncturing helicopter parents when they start to swell up because their beloved child got in trouble.  I’m nervous to look for work again, but oddly excited too.

I am ready to live somewhere new.  I grew up moving so much that staying in one place for too long makes me claustrophobic, and I’ve now been in this corner of the world for longer than I’ve lived anywhere.  It would be going too far to say that I hate it here, but it’s not an exaggeration that I could never set foot here again and be perfectly happy.  I stayed for J., and I’ve never regretted it for one moment, but that doesn’t mean I won’t gleefully drive away and never look back.

I am so ready for us to be a two income family (apparently the term for that is DINK – dual income, no kids.  I’m not sure I’ll categorize myself as such, though) and not stuck in this quasi-student exsistence.

I cannot wait to be back in London, where you can’t be bored or stiffled if you tried.  The weather may be terrible, the rent may be high, the practicalities of life might weigh, but there is always somewhere to go, something to do, places to just be.  You’ll never run into the same person twice (as opposed to where we are now where the vast majority of the population seem to be clones of one another, albeit in a more futile than frigtening way).  And there is always something to explore.

I am ready for change, ducklings, and so these days, with their oppresive Sameness are just a bit more smothering than usual.

So!  How do you get through the boring bits?  Clearly this isn’t a life skill I’ve properly developed, which is why it’s such a handy thing to have lovely minions to interrogate.  Share your thoughts and recommendations, Aunty C. needs them.

Jupiter Ammon! My worst fear incarnated!

Treasure; A Philosphy

“There’s all the difference in the world between treasure and money.”
– Roderick Townley, The Great Good Thing

My favorite of the concepts my family raised us with is the idea of treasure.  I used it in a post title the other day cavalierly and only later realized that how unique and loaded a word it is to me.  The initial definition would be almost identical to a dictionary’s, if I’m honest, but there’s a rich history behind that word’s use in my family.

I don’t know exactly how or when this word entered clan lexicon in the capacity we use it, but to our tribe it has a very specific yet not easily explained translation.  It’s complicated because to us, treasure can be anything you value.  Anything at all.  Often it’s associated with travel or adventure, something picked up in an exotic locale, but it can just as easily be something bland that still manages to inspire the bearer to see the extraordinary.

Throughout my childhood the term applied equally to a dried seahorse purchased on a Venetian canal, a handful of pretty pebbles, the wooden dinosaur skeleton models my father would purchase and then assemble with me after returning from long trips, a Turkish wedding belt woven from goat fur that (as I recall, which to be fair could be a totally warped memory) was given to me by a shop owner in Turkey for no reason at all, a particularly straight stick (useful for walking, poking, and play fighting in the backyard), a piece of partially knapped flint discarded by some ancient people and found by me in a dried up riverbed hunting on a Texas ranch that belonged to a friend of my dad’s, the small sweater my mother made for my teddy bear when her fur began rubbing off from too much love, some coins that became obsolete when the Euro was adopted, and so on. Treasure was everywhere growing up.

There were and are some rules.  It can’t be kitsch, or stuff for stuff’s sake – it has to be meaningful and important for more than just taking up shelf space.  A little statuette of Michelangelo’s David sold in a tourist trap in Italy is memorabilia; a reproduction of Botticelli’s Birth of Venus bought from a slightly seedy looking street salesman literally off of a dusty Florentine cobblestone way is treasure.

It doesn’t have to be impulse, you can have an idea of what you’re looking for when you go on the hunt.  When I went to Milan for the first time I knew I wanted to get a pair of shoes.  Since it’s one of the great fashion capitals, it seemed appropriate.  I still have them years later, and I also have a pair of flats I got in Paris as well.  There’s nothing like walking around in something you bought on the Champs-Élysée when you’re having a bad day.

Treasure doesn’t have to be for you.  Some of my most valued finds are things that I had no intention of keeping for myself.  There is something unimaginably thrilling about finding the perfect gift for something, looking at an obscure object and knowing another person so well that you can see what its value would be in their eyes.  I sent my high school mentor, a Middle Ages buff, a medieval coin found in a small English shop.  I recently discovered a pullover for a friend that will make the most hilarious Christmas present – more I cannot say, she may be reading!  Treasure is not so selfish as to be exclusive to oneself.

Freshman year of university when my family was living in Belgium, I returned to school with boxes of hand crafted and personally selected chocolates for my friends from some of Brussels’ finest chocolatiers.  One of my friends was from Hershey, Pennsylvania and gave me a giant Hershey Kiss in exchange.  On this recent trip to London I found a small booth in Borough Market selling small bottles of truffle oil so I paid   £7 for a small bit of extra deliciousness the next time I feel like impressing someone in the kitchen.  I also came back with several boxes of Twinings tea (unattainable where we live), and a chic blazer.  Treasure doesn’t have to be permanent.

My ideas of treasure have evolved somewhat since my secret box (originally a gift from Morocco from my father and treasure itself) hid the things I valued away – key from the grandfather I’ve barely known my whole life, a bookmark given to me by my mother, a cheap necklace.  Now my tastes run more like my parents and I look for things that remind me of places I’ve been or memories I want to protect.  We’re not and have never really been a picture taking family, we collect our memories in stories instead and hang the reminders of our adventures on walls.  Prints, Balinese baskets artfully arranged, wooden screens from the Orient used as wall decor, bowls purchased in the Levant, a couple of items inherited from ancestors.

But writing this and thinking back, I think I’ve figured out why the concept of treasure was (and continues to be) so important to me.  My parents love interesting things and they’ve passed the love of them on to the four of us.  Our house is crammed to bursting with the Asian antiques my mother gathers that remind her of her childhood in Japan, the rugs my father collected on his many trips to the Middle East, the more colorful the better (there’s a Tibetan prayer rug that’s over a century old that graces our floor and always leaves me half Indian Jones “It belongs in a museum!” baffled, and half shamefully proud that we walk over it everyday).  And I think because things have value to them, not in the vulgar way possessions do to some people, they recognized and shared the value we kids found in much less impressive things.

There is wisdom, and I think greatness, in parents who will look at an excited child’s fistful of rocks and breathe a solemn pronouncement that they are worth just as much as the carpet that used to make up a wall in a Kazakh’s tent.  My mother’s exclamations over bird feathers then are just as excited as ones over antique shop finds now, and my father still smiles the same smile that crinkles his eyes only slightly more these days when one of us opens our hands at him to show our latest token and he says in a slow and important voice, “Ah!  Treasure!”

The value of value is, ultimately I think, one of the most important lessons they’ve taught me.

Scene of the Crimes

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”
– Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It’s been a busy day prepping for the Fourth tomorrow, so here are a few smidgins of evidence that we’re alive, kicking and living it up. Yeah, I know.  I’m shocked I thought to take pictures too…

The other groomsmen and myself from Flyboy’s wedding. My dress was still too big after alterations, but tis the life of the petite female. It wasn’t my wedding, so who cared about my dress! Weddings are a lot less stressful when they aren’t your own.  Those guys were charming, by the way.  Flyboy clearly knows how to collect good friends (*wink).

We live in a notorious marriage mart of a town, but clearly things didn’t work out typically for this gentleman…  And apparently he has very cruel friends or relationships.  Snagged this sad gem in a local parking lot.
Heading out to my car for work this morning, I was startled by a roaring sound above my head. It turned out to be a low drifting balloon from a local July 4th festival (which apparently happened on the 3rd). Believe it or not it was much lower to start with, I had to scrambled in my purse for the camera a bit and the balloon had risen by the time I fished it out. These were all over the sky this morning.
That’s, um, not a cloud. Half of the country is on fire, in case you hadn’t noticed, and apparently so is the city a bit up from us. We’ll keep an eye on this one, I think.