Category: Humor

Five Things I Loved in March

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.”
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Another month down, a fistful of good things to love and share! Here are the things I used and abused this March, let me know what pop culture, entertainment, food, beauty, writing, or memes struck your fancy in the comments.

 

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Kimberly Clark Anti-Haul Videos. I found this Youtuber through another Youtuber and have really been enjoying her content. Kimberly Clark is the creator’s drag persona and in it, she makes content that discusses social issues and consumerism in a fun and interestingly POVed way. She’s most notable for her “anti-haul” videos where, instead of hyping beauty products, she lists out products that she’s “not gonna buy,” and more importantly, why not. Jokes, smarter consumerism goals, and fierce af eyeliner. What is not to love?

 

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The Casual Vacancy, by J.K. Rowling. This book has been out for years but I only just got around to reading it. I recall it got mixed reviews but I strongly suspect that’s down to this being the opposite of her famous Harry Potter books in every way. Far from fantastical, it’s about a country community facing internal strife and external pressures; it’s gritty, realistic, and there is no magic to save you, much less add a note of levity. Local politics, poverty, and the small heroics and failures of everyday people are the engine of the drama, and the results of

 

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Sawbones podcast. A work pal introduced me to this “marital tour through misguided medicine,” which goes down all the dark alleyways of medical history to showcase where we humans have gotten things spectacularly and hilariously wrong.

 

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Amuse Bouche Lipstick in Pepper, by Bite Beauty. Now that spring has well and truly sprung (thanks, Daylight Savings Time!), I’m back to the bright lipstick after a lengthy sojourn in neutrals-ville. But this switch is recent and of late my go-to has been this shade from Bite, which is the quintessential “your lips but better” for me, a concept I didn’t properly understand before this particular stick came into my life. I’m back on that orange-y red hustle full time, but I still keep this one in my bag. Just in case.

 

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Modern Mercury highlighter, by Estee Lauder x Victoria Beckham. This was my cheat item from my shopping ban, which actually managed to justify. More on that coming soon, but in the meantime, I have been wearing this almost every day since I bought it and remain hopelessly in love with this stupidly expensive item. This won’t be for everyone, and it’s far from a necessity, but I’ve found this rosy sheen about as resistible as a magpie would a pile of diamonds. It is, to put it succinctly, a beaut.

Budget and Ban Check In

“There are people who have money and people who are rich” 
– Coco Chanel

My second shopping ban is winding down and as promised, I thought it was a good time to do a budgeting check in as a follow up to my Money Month project. My basic household budget is still accurate, and by rigorously curtailing spending, we’ve been able to chip at some debt in small but steady ways. The hustle continues to pay off and I’m happy to say I’ve landed a new year-long contract that, well shepherded, should enable us to pay off debt a bit more aggressively than we are doing already. It will also allow us to do a bit more travelling, which we very much want to prioritize this year.

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In February I met my goal of not eating out for the entire month–with two exceptions where a meeting or event at work (which promised food) fell through at the last minute. In those instances, I ate at a cheap canteen for less than £5 each. To put it simply, I was shocked at how much savings this produced. I knew I was spending more than I wanted on food on the go, but sometimes it takes a moment of sharp relief to throw it into perspective. Ever since I’ve been recommitted to prepping my meals in advance and have almost entirely eschewed paying for coffee or tea.

As for my other short term goals, I wasn’t able to do my £40/week goal of grocery shopping for this month, but that’s simply due to disorganization on my part and I’ll be returning to this goal at some point.  I did meet my goal of no entertainment spending, however. Netflix and Amazon Prime have been getting a lot of use! We’ve also devised a simple but easily monitored plan to pay off a couple of credit cards quickly and are on track to do so. Regarding donating, I’ve set up a regular donation to my public broadcasting peeps and plan on adding other regular donations to the budget once my new contract kicks in. And I’ve been sticking to my monthly cash budget as an article of faith!

My shopping ban has been another fantastic reset for me. Over the 12 months, 6 of them have been spent consciously not buying new stuff and I think it has helped me get a sense of my retail therapy, impulse purchase, and casual spending habits. It’s forced me to shop my own closet (more on that next month!), and experiment with my makeup and accessories more rather than simply coveting an entire new outfit or piece when I’m bored or frustrated with my wardrobe. I’ll be lifting the ban on April 1st, but don’t expect to dive into a wave of shopping as a result. I’ve got a relatively short list of items I need (mostly work related) but other than that, I’m going to try to stick to what I have until I’ve used more pieces up.

Full disclosure I did make a cheat purchase (a limited edition highlighter from the Estée Lauder and Victoria Beckham collaboration, which I missed out on during it’s original launch), but I felt able to justify it by cutting other discretionary spending that didn’t fall under my ban. For instance, instead of replacing some skincare products when they ran out, I used other items in my bathroom cupboards that I’ve previously passed on in favor of other products or just plain forgot about. I’ve kept my eye on a few new makeup and beauty items over the past few months but by being forced to sit on my hands instead of snapping them up, I’ve been able to evaluate my own needs and desire for them a bit more judiciously. As a result, my shopping list has shrunk to just a couple of items for when my ban expires.

So all in all, instead of stuff, I’d like to focus my money attention for the next few months on continuing debt pay down, travel, and items for the apartment. Not a bad place to be!

Quick News Check In and a Brief Plea

Reporters asked [Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX)] why, after Republicans held dozens of nearly-unanimous votes to repeal Obamacare under President Obama, they were getting cold feet now that they control the levers of power.

“Sometimes you’re playing Fantasy Football and sometimes you’re in the real game,” he said. “We knew the president, if we could get a repeal bill to his desk, would almost certainly veto it. This time we knew if it got to the president’s desk it would be signed.”
Talking Points Memo

The thing about the ACA news that’s pissing me off more than anything right now, are the handful of stories or mentions I’m seeing that the GOP are going to “move on” from health care now. Really. After nearly a decade of single minded antagonism. You voted on this issue over 60 times under President Obama (and grand total of 0 under President Trump). Now you’re ready to move on.

Almost as if…for the majority of the party at least…the actual bill itself was never the point…?

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On the other hand, one good thing I’m seeing seems to be some level of introspection of some members of the Republican party.

As the prospect of a loss became more real on Friday, the frustrations of GOP lawmakers loyal to the leadership began to boil over. “I’ve been in this job eight years, and I’m wracking my brain to think of one thing our party has done that’s been something positive, that’s been something other than stopping something else from happening,” Representative Tom Rooney of Florida said in an interview. “We need to start having victories as a party. And if we can’t, then it’s hard to justify why we should be back here.” – from The Atlantic

For nearly a decade, the GOP has defined itself by its perceived enemies and what they were against. They’ve been a protest party, but they are now in charge and a litany of complaints is not a plan, as yesterday and its attendant organizational mess proved. I am desperately hoping that liberals don’t fall into the all too easy trap of doing the same thing in response! Because if ever there was a moment for both sides to lay down rhetorical arms, retreat to their own camps to actually think on and firm up what it is the stand for and not just whom against, and return to the table armed for an intelligent debate about which ideologies our country should espouse and why, instead of scorched earth politics…this is it.

Let’s set aside the ridiculous man in the White House and his sensational, possibly scandal ridden cronies for a moment. Much has been made of the fact that Mr. Trump doesn’t owe Republicans much when it comes to policy making, especially given that most didn’t support him (at least enthusiastically) in the election. I’d suggest that the reverse is also more true than is given credit for. Mr. Trump ran as a Republican but far from sharing a majority of conservative principles, his statement record is all over the map. He doesn’t seem to operate from ideology so much as self-interest. He might have overrun the GOP but he doesn’t lead it. And, more importantly, within the US system it is congress not the executive branch is supposed to take the lead in practical governing anyway. A number of leading conservative and libertarian thinkers have been complaining for years that the executive branch has grown too powerful in the post WWII era. In fact, that was one of their primary complaints about the previous administration!

So, conservative leadership, get to it. Lead. Get your act together. Take the reins. Govern. Remember that you govern all of us, not just the guys who voted for you, and act accordingly. Govern well, else be voted out of office, that’s how this game works. Someone, anyone, step up to claim some sense of ownership and offer, in good faith, to work with liberals on constructive legislation moving forward that actually addresses the current needs of citizens, regardless of what the orange overlord tweets or the blowhards of talk radio spew. Say you want to draw a line under recent vitriol and start anew, and mean it.

I, Jane Taxpayer, solemnly swear to hold my own party accountable if they fail to take you up on your offer.

But at the moment, GOP, this president and the current state of political are largely your mess and, as you like to keep point out, you’re now in charge. Fix it. I’m genuinely rooting for you.

Weekend Links

“We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”
[Remarks on the 20th Anniversary of the Voice of America; Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, February 26, 1962]”
― John F. Kennedy

So. The news. By Wednesday of this week, this whole mess had gone down. Things haven’t gotten much clearer since. Then there was an attack on my beloved adopted hometown of London the same day, seemingly the actions of a lone wolf assailant.

As I put this list together, the American political system is arguing with itself (on a fundamental level) as to whether healthcare (or rather its watered down version of “access to healthcare”) is a right or not. There’s an actual and interesting ideological basis to this debate, but we long ago spun into vitriol and obstruction and I’m not sure that we’re any closer to finding our way out of either. Apparently the leadership is going to force a vote on it today, we will see what happens.

Thus far 2017 seems to be doing its darndest to up our collective rates of cardiac stress and fatigue. Here are your links this weekend, and they are designed to be a politics-lite batch for to give us all a bit of a break.

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The importance of understanding shifting language and context in our culturally ongoing discussions about sexuality and identity.

Relatedly! An interview at Man Repeller about the changing language and communication expectations of our current age.

Female writers on books that influenced them.

The great and good Margaret H. Willison (oft of Pop Culture Happy Hour fame) defends libraries!

Escaping the guardianship laws placed on Saudi women.

Speaking of Pop Culture Happy Hour, this post from NPR’s Monkey See about the podcast Missing Richard Simmons is an interesting exercise in pondering fame.

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her. And then the murders began.”

This article on how ISIS is changing and evolving is worth a read.

The latest trailer for The Handmaid’s Tale is chilling and gripping. I can’t wait for it and am simultaneously a bit chilled.

Why Jane Austen is Wrong for the Alt-Right. I may never have click on an article link this fast in my life.

Album of the week: Paradise by ANOHNI

From Russia, With Love

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
– Winston Churchill

So, to confirm, it was necessary for the FBI to break protocol in October of last year and publicly divulge information about an ongoing investigation into former rep. Anthony Weiner as it hypothetically might have related to Secretary Clinton (turns out, it didn’t). But it was not necessary for the FBI to publicly divulge that then-candidate Trump’s team or campaign was being investigated since July of last year for potential collusion with or ties to a government with an avowed strategy of disrupting US elections in his favor.

Got it. Clear as mud.

God, I’m angry at the state of US politics.

Weekend Links

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.”
― Pablo Neruda

We made it to another weekend, kittens, and here in London at least it feels like spring really has arrived. It’s warming up, the daffodils are out in full force, and I think we are officially out of excuses for not being able to make it to the gym during daylight hours. Crud.

Here are your links, mostly politics free this week, to keep this springtime good mood going. Share your favorite stories from the week in the comments!

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In case you missed the thread or story in question, this piece is worth a read.

This year’s NPR Music Tiny Desk Contest winners are a revelation and a delight!

Lipstick, oppression, empowerment, and the inner female life. Sign me up for whatever it takes to get this film released.

I have…questions

The CBO score on the healthcare reform, put forward by some Republicans and supported (at least initially) by the administration, came out this week. The estimates are 14 million losing insurance by 2018, 24 million by 2026. Read up and inform yourselves. In other political news, the courts temporarily blocked Travel Ban 2.0, a new budget proposal was put forward that amps military spending and cuts things like poverty support, big chunks of funding to whole agencies, and arts endowments (always a sign of great things to come ), and the president’s own party are refusing to back his thus-far-baseless claims of wiretapping. #winning?

I loved this supportive letter from Albert Einstein to Marie Curie.

Dear Saudi Arabia, you messed up

And speaking of messing up, our own military (near and dear to my brat heart) isn’t exactly covering itself in glory on women’s issues lately.

A holy holiday, indeed!

So, minions, if we all pool our money

A fascinating profile on Kellyanne Conway. Love her or loathe her, but this article makes a compelling case that she is, for all functional purposes, almost the acting First Lady in terms of profile, administrative involvement, and propinquity.

Miss Ru got married?! Mazel Tov!

A victory in our time.

Album of the week: Sarah Vaughn, At Mister Kelly‘s

Bistrotheque, East London

“And now leave me in peace for a bit! I don’t want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!”
“Good Heavens!” said Pippin. “At breakfast?”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

As so many of our old food haunts have left us lately, Jeff and I are on the prowl for new places to fall in love with. When a recent local joint stopped serving regular brunch (they tantalize us with promises that the chef may choose to surprise us with it from time to time, those teases), we decided to go on a wander in unfamiliar territory this weekend to explore somewhere new. East London beckoned and my research indicated that Bistrotheque would fit the bill nicely.

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It’s very much the kind of place I like. Tucked away on an unexpected street in a Bethnal Green residential area, if you don’t know what to look for, you could easily pass the entrance. And even walking through the sign-less door and up the stairs, you might have a few qualms that you’re still not in the right place until you burst out into a bright and open industrial space.

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We had to make a reservation to get in and it was fully almost the entire time we were there. Couples, families, and groups of friends all clustered together comfortably with the open kitchen in view, in keeping with the industrial aesthetic. It’s clearly a very family friendly place, in spite of the prodigiously stocked bar, and there were several children in attendance.

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The menu is a great mix of typical brunch and lunch offerings, most of which with a welcome kind of twist. My avocado and eggs were severed on savory cornbread with crunchy spiced corn kernels and hot sauce. Jeff snagged something with chorizo (which will always call to him). I glimpsed some of the sweeter offerings like french toast at nearby tables and it looked decadent enough to warrant the second visit I’m already plotting.

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We pushed the boat entirely out and grabbed some pudding after our main meals because they looked too good to not try. Jeff plumped for the creme brulee (usually my drug of choice) so that I could go for the blood orange panna cotta, smothered in pistachios.

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The atmosphere is nicely urban, the food is flavorful, and though the prices aren’t exactly dirt cheap, the portion sizes are very filling. What more could you want?

Oh, a piano guy who plays medleys of Guns’N’Roses, Michael Jackson, and the Spice Girls while you munch? Yeah, they have that too!

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Incendiary Monday: Nationalistic Purity is a (bad) Myth

“Nationalism is an infantile thing. It is the measles of mankind.”
― Albert Einstein

This tweet and whole story enraged me. When we are speaking of the human race, there is no such thing as “someone else’s babies.” This is shameful, racist nonsense.

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I fundamentally don’t understand the notion that some people seem to hold that there was once a time where every nation on earth (a concept in and of itself only a couple centuries old) had its own pure ethnic, nationalistic, and presumably racial identity. Nope. Lies in almost every case. We humans have been trading, travelling, mixing languages, creating and abolishing religions, warring, peacemaking, marrying, and swapping science globally for all of recorded history. The only things that have changed in the last thousand years is the rapidity with which we do it, the distances we are able to cross to do so, and the scale of our exchange.

But if I can point out evidence of Africans in Britain in the Roman period, the vast reach of the medieval Chinese navy and their explorations across the Pacific, Vikings in the Americas in the 10th century, a millennia of trade along the Silk Road, ancient African trade routes spanning the continent, and Pan-European Celtic road systems dating to before written language…you don’t get to be surprised that people of a different skin color or religion now live next door to you.

The last time we were a “pure” species was in coming out of Africa–and apparently we still  eventually managed to hook up with Neanderthals at some point. Notions of national purity, always an Us And Them narrative, have only ever served to divide and–in modern history–usually to attempt to conquer.

Weekend Links

“There was nothing like a Saturday – unless it was the Saturday leading up to the last week of school and into summer vacation. That of course was all the Saturdays of your life rolled into one big shiny ball.”
― Nora Roberts, Rising Tides

Hi kittens, we’ve made it to another weekend and instead of a rant, how about I just let you get straight to the goodness? There’s a lot of news and fun links this week, but as always, please share your favorite stories, memes, and links from the week in the comments!

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Let’s start off with something cute and purely delightful, shall we?

An ode to the fake fur coat.

So much for seeing the courts…in court. Travel Ban 2.0 was rolled out this week with, it must be said, what looks like some actual thought put into the process and application this time. It’s still garbage. If the ostensible goal is to protect Americans from “radical Islamic terrorists,” the administration has still failed utterly to prove that citizens and refugees from these countries posed a heightened significant entry in the first place. The terrorists or their sympathizers who have carried out violent actions in recent years seem to be made in America, as little as we apparently like to acknowledge that fact. Iraq, the birthplace of ISIS is off the restricted list seeing as they are, ya know, our ally. Meanwhile refugees are going to have to go through a more stringent process than ever before, even though those most needing assistance are the least likely to be able to pass background checks seeing as how (to take Syria as an example) their entire nation state and all its attendant bureaucracies, paperwork, legal histories, and documented evidence have been bombed to oblivion. Meanwhile, I believe there is plenty of evidence of animus towards muslims in statements from the president and his supporters to warrant challenges.

No amount of deleting can un-tweet your tweets, Mr. Stone.

This sounds like a fascinating project and I wish I could see it.

My own representative, Congressman Chaffetz, continues to be the living embodiment of the word “craven,” and his latest gaffe was a right doozy. Let’s set aside this annoying and frankly damaging trope that (presumably) poor people are just irresponsible with money/services and therefore it’s a bad idea to provide them…his math is a joke. Does he live in a world where poor people, to say nothing of working and middle class citizens, buy phones every month? Nay, more than that! According to the National Conference of State Legislatures last year, the annual premium costs for an average family were $18,000. Meaning that you’d have to buy a new iPhone once a month for three years in a row for an equivalence. Meanwhile, I’d like everybody who has ever had a single prescription or procedure cost more than $500 to put their hands up.

Samurai Jack is coming back!

Should the president’s statements/accusations/word vomit that the former president tapped his phones be taken at face value? According to the Press Secretary, and I quote, “Yes it should. Of course it should. No.

This whole story is such a load of sexist garbage. And it’s disheartening.

Also, give this reporter a gold star for questioning why the president is calling for an investigation…if he already is in possession of conclusive evidence that this tapping happened? As I see it, either President Trump lobbed in a completely fabricated conspiracy theory (which in itself should be a scandal as it questions not just where he’s getting his information, but whether he can tell fact from fiction), or he revealed that he/his organization have been the subject of investigations (which is likely also going to be a scandal depending on what he/they were being investigated for). Either way, self inflicted wound.

Got my dose of beauty therapy from sighing lustfully over these statement earrings.

A great new piece of art landed on Wall Street just in time for IWD.

Album of the week: Everything is Forgotten, by Methyl Ethel 

International Women’s Day: The Ironic Wisdom of Learning to Keep My Mouth Shut

“Deeds not words.”
– Suffragette slogan

Becoming aware of how much criticism is heaped on women for their life choices is depressing. Becoming further aware of how much of this criticism stems from other women is downright devastating. For me personally, realizing how guilty I used to be (and occasionally still can be if I don’t watch myself) of this behavior was humbling.

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I grew up in a culture that has highly defined gender roles and a lot of codified expectations for women and girls. I’ve written about the dress codes here, which also touches on the expectation that women “should stay home,” that they should be the primary caregivers to children, and uncomfortable echoes of rape culture. I’m no longer in this culture or ascribe to a lot of those values in the same way. But being out here in wider society as opposed to a small religious group isn’t necessarily easier when it comes to the pressures heaped on women.

Unmaking a lot of the lessons I’d been taught about gender and femaleness from a young age took and still takes a lot of work. In either constructing or reconstructing my own views on gender and the female experience, I’ve had to critically examine not just the views I was raised with, but also the knee-jerk reactionary views I sometimes developed in response to opinions that reminded me of my childhood culture. As fiercely committed as I am to supporting other women and claiming my feminism, I still have a lot of work to do.

Unmaking your own critical tendencies is a hard line to walk. I have just as many opinions about  how to live as anybody, but what I have made a dedicated effort to do in the past few years, is simply decline to judge most women’s life choices. From sex to education, childbearing to careers, I’ve come to the conclusion that how other women choose to order their lives is almost entirely none of my business. Where another person’s choices do not affect me, or does not impact my ability to make my own choices or my legal rights, what I have learned and try awfully hard to practice is the age old wisdom of keeping my mouth shut.*

I’m not talking about politics or policy in this post, what I’m speaking of here is the personal criticisms or judgement we casually fling at women who chose to work full time, stay home with children, hire help, use professional childcare, ask family to babysit regularly, have multiple sex partners, practice celibacy, eat paleo, eat vegan, eschew social media, take selfies, wear short skirts, wear hijab, read Talmud, read romance novels, do bodybuilding, not exercise at all, go into military service, go into nursing, have an abortion, decline to practice birth control, grow their hair long, wear their hair super short, be atheist, pray at the Wailing Wall, have tattoos, cover their skin from neck to ankle…

The list is quite literally endless. It often feels like we can’t win for losing!

Instead of picking apart, examining, or even stressing about other women’s choices, what I’ve committed to is supporting their choices better. They may bear no resemblance to the choices I’d make for myself, my marriage, my family, or my career; I may even disagree outright with her positions. But where her choices work for her, break no laws, and cause no harm, the onus is on me to stand up for her decisions the way I’d hope others will stand up for mine. The world is still plenty hard on women. I’m convinced it will get a bit better if we are easier on one another.

And the only control I have over that goal is starting with my own behavior. I like to think I’ve gotten better, and I like to think I’ll get better still.

Amy Poehler popularly summed this up in her book Yes Please with the phrase, “That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.” This idea is full of generosity and, dare I say, grace.

*I separate this from political activism/engagement, it’s worth noting. I put my money and my time where my values are.