Category: Humor

Humor, Links

Weekend Links

“Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.” 
― Henry James

Happy Friday, kittens! The sun is shining and I’ve got a lot of stuff to get through so we’re dropping the links early and hoping neither of my governments do anything particularly horrific before close of play. I’m not sure if this is too hopeful…

Last week we nearly went to war, the US president was credibly accused of rape, and the scale of our horrific treatment towards immigrants and asylum seekers as a nation was on fully display. And in about 48 hours it was all GONE. Barely a blip. We live in the upside down.

As always, I’ve lovingly curated a batch of weekend reading to help you make sense of the world in the year Our Lady Beyonce 2019. I’m not touching the first debates or the uneven Supreme Court rulings because one, it’s far too early to let a circus consume us and two, because I need to do a lot more reading on the latter to fully understand the process and implications of the rulings.

Someday, possibly quite soon, this planet is going to shake us off like a bad case of the fleas.

NO ONE is good enough to work for Beyoncé.

Hyperbolic, generational warfare title aside…the underling premise one I find very compelling and probably correct… “Not all of these problems were first caused by the Boomers, but they each worsened on their watch.” (Note, individuals and systems are not the same thing.)

Reader, I cackled. (h/t to Jeff for this one)

My feelings towards The Intercept are not un-nuanced, shall we say, but this personal piece by a journalist crossing the border is scary and worth a read. Stop law enforcement from acting like a military, 2020.

I’m glad I don’t have to make editorial decisions day to day, but whew do I think some major outlets and platforms are making some bad ones.

In related ranting… After two and half years, we need to stop treating Mr. Trump as if he’s a “normal” politician, working with and through the same old media rules. Misdirection and a scattershot approach to claims are his strength. Stop letting him get away with it: hold the line at the first lie and don’t move past it.

Glad this is happening to the long put upon US Women’s Soccer team, annoyed it took them to utterly dominate their playoffs so far to make it happen.

More money = higher taxes. I don’t understand why this is controversial, and I don’t understand ultrawealthy people being catered to and coddled to avoid this. If, heaven forbid, I ever end up superwealthy, I will absolutely be giving most of it away in my lifetime and at my death. You can’t take it with you.

If you want to help immigrants at the border (THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF WHOM ARE LEGAL ASYLUM SEEKERS), consider donating to Raices who provide legal support and assistance to the most venerable.

My love for dandies is a well established part of my brand.

I think a lot about how being a non-Brit in Britain lends me as many unusual advantages as disadvantages. I toy with trying to write about it, but am not sure how to best address it… While I dabble, of course Hasan Minaj has a brilliant and more thoughtful take on outsider status overall: how it informs his work, uses his perspective, and more.

Trigger warning. The global migration crisis has been put front and center in new ways over recent years, and most effectively in photography. The horrible image of a drowned refugee child in Europe was a galvanizing moment, I’m hopeful that the image captured on the US/Mexico border this week is as well…but I’m afraid hearts have been hardened too much…

This longread piece on Essex and its role in British culture is fascinating reading! I can confirm that Essex Man as a stereotype is alive and well.

Thoughts and prayers.

This story is 100% as bad as it sounds.

Kimberly Clark, drag queen and anti consumerism YouTuber is back online and just in time to drop a timely reminder that corporate pride is not the same thing as truly supporting LGBT+ people and communities.

This is so wholesome.

Humor, Links, News, Politics, Pop Culture

Weekend Links

“At midnight, in the month of June, I stand beneath the mystic moon.” 
― Edgar Allan Poe

Gruntlings, it’s been another long week, but happy solstice. We made it to the halfway point!

At time of writing I’m unsure if we’re head towards another war in the Middle East, Boris Johnson is probably going to be Prime Minister, and another assault allegation has been made against my president. You’ll find out more as soon as I do…

Enjoy the weekend, and if you’re feeling dispirited by the general state of things, don’t. Turn it into action. Fuel something you are passionate about this weekend, even if it’s hard. Especially if it’s hard.

I worked for a police department for five years, and I am not at all surprised to read this reporting at all. My memory of the attitudes towards my then coworkers is much more around gun culture, hyper social conservatism, and militia group interest than overt racism but if the last decade has taught me anything, it’s that racism and misogyny are inherent to these other forms of extreme views, as do certain attitudes towards how they should be able to do their jobs. And worth noting that my old department is embroiled in a scandal about unethical or unlawful dissemination of records. I don’t think all cops are bad, not by a long shot! But I do think we need to look at their systemic power when it leads inevitably to abuse, admit what’s broken, and fix it.

Some people have way too much money.

I’m pretty sure he cheated on her, but nice to hear things are back on track (or at least their PR teams are excellent at their jobs).

Another week, another report that would paralyze or end an administration in normal times. This week the New York Times reported that cyber warfare with Russia is ramping up…and that Pentagon officials aren’t necessarily briefing the President about it. Because they’re afraid he would countermand the work, or divulge it. Cool…. If they’re wrong, this is a horrific breach of the chain of command and if they are right, he probably should have that command in the first place.

I am excited for this exhibit coming to the British Museum!

On The Media has done a new series, about the issue of home eviction in America. Should be a good, and powerful listen.

We’re going to run out of planet.

Let us all be chastened for our snark. All hail Boaty.

“In recent years, there has been enormous concern about the time we spend on our web-connected devices and what that might be doing to our brains. But a related psychological shift has gone largely unremarked: the way that, for a certain segment of the population, the news has come to fill up more and more time – and, more subtly, to occupy centre stage in our subjective sense of reality, so that the world of national politics and international crises can feel more important, even more truly real, than the concrete immediacy of our families, neighbourhoods and workplaces. It’s not simply that we spend too many hours glued to screens. It’s that for some of us, at least, they have altered our way of being in the world such that the news is no longer one aspect of the backdrop to our lives, but the main drama.”

The short video on egg yolks you didn’t know you needed. I now want to make all of these recipes.

…have we all been doing this wrong for centuries? The New Yorker was immediately on the case.

Are straight men ok? (Trick question, we know the answer is “no.”)

Wait…is anybody okay?!

Let’s line up a little summer pleasure reading, shall we? This list of delightfully diverse romance novels is a good place to start and includes the line “Agatha Christie but make it gay!” So you know it’s good.

Speaking of book’s Hannah’s next novel FOUL IS FAIR is coming, and she’s currently hosting an ARC giveaway content on her social media.

Another week in America, another mass shooting. A local photographer managed to photograph the shooter before the attack started and honestly, as much as I don’t want to elevate this man’s profile, it’s such a simple example of what extremism actually looks like in American that I think it needs to be shared. It’s not an brown person of indeterminate origins, it’s typically a white guy in glasses with a horrifying arsenal that no civilian needs. (Continuous developing story at NPR.)

I’m with the swan.

All the bad faith handwringing about whether “detention centers” are “concentration camps” or not, when THIS is happening, “A 14-year-old girl from Guatemala said she had been holding two little girls in her lap. ‘I need comfort, too. I am bigger than they are, but I am a child, too,’ she said.”

We are not safer as a country without a confirmed Secretary of Defense–and a competent one at that. My family and its military members is less safe. The political is personal as well as vice versa.

“Two months into his detention, an immigration officer came to Mr. Mutu with an offer. As he understood it, if he gave up his claim for asylum, he would be deported back to Romania with Constantin. He agreed, and on June 3, 2018, he was released from his cell and loaded into a van. He looked everywhere for Constantin and asked the officers where his son was, but was not given a clear answer. At the airport, he refused to board without the baby. The immigration officers, he said, told him that Constantin would be handed to him once he had taken his seat. But the plane lifted off and the baby never came.” THIS. SHOULD. NOT. BE. POSSIBLE.

This is a parody. Cool cool cool…

I spend a lot of time thinking about how America seems to have squandered a half century of goodwill and leadership in what feels like record time (by historical standards).

Start that podcast.

The longform read that gripped me this week was about the loss of Malaysian Airlines flight 370. It’s riveting: “The disappearance of the airplane has provoked a host of theories. Many are preposterous. All are given life by the fact that, in this age, commercial airplanes don’t just vanish.”

The last link is a really hard hit, so here: have a cheerful dive into the wackiest hats of Ascot this week first.

Famed advice columnist E. Jean Carroll published a gut punch of a piece about her list of “hideous” men. Yes, it includes the president, but that’s not necessarily the most powerful part of the piece–I’m deeply angry to type–it’s that he was is just one of many men who continues to get away with it all. “And many women my age just “get on with it” too. It is how we handle things: Chin up! Stop griping! We do not cast ourselves as victims because we do not see ourselves as victims. While the strategy has worked for me, I wish I hadn’t waited so long to say something about two of my Hideous Men.”

Humor

Three Money Habits to Cultivate That Make a Big Difference

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” 
― Epictetus

Writing publicly about my relationship to money for several years now has been fascinating and helpful. Money is still such a taboo topic for people but I’m convinced that more transparency about all its facets can be extremely beneficial, whether it’s benchmarking your salary more accurately or forming better habits. I’ve benefited from talking more openly about money with friends, colleagues and coworkers, and family members, and trying to turn some behaviors from projects to habits.

There are three in particular that have fundamentally changed my relationship to money, and which I think summarize most good advice out there. Because it’s Monday and you may be looking for some motivation, here they are, in no particular order:

Check your bank account(s) everyday. It’s 2019 and while we live with risks of data breaches everyday, it’s also never been easier to keep track of your money. I still remember my dad teaching me how to physically balance my checkbook when I got my first basic account at 12 years old and while it seems pretty quaint now, the same principle applies: know the exact amount of what you have made available to yourself and proceed through life accordingly. Checking my cash budget is part of my daily routine as much as brushing my teeth: it helps set me for the day and helps me make micro-decisions for the rest of the day. Can I treat myself to a lunch out today? Why yes, because I haven’t bought lunch all week and have a nice little bit extra for a fancy soup. Huh, that number seems lower than it should–ah yes, I have to process some work expenses, let’s do that as soon as I get into the office.

Use your bank for more than just cashflow. Because I was military dependent, I have access to some banks or credit unions that were primarily designed for servicemen and women or their families, often with attendant information and services (especially if you live abroad). I opened my first account with one of these banks at 12 and I will never close my membership. This bank is not the flashiest thing in the world, but their customer service is second to none and they make processes very user friendly. When I took out auto insurance for the first time as an adult, one of the agents went out of their way to educate me when I had “dumb” questions. They also have partnerships with other organisations to include services that I would otherwise have to pay for, such as  I have frequently called them to discuss queries about my accounts and how I can make different services work better for my family, or just to get some general knowledge. Reputable and trusted banks and credit unions are gatekeepers to some pretty important aspects of our lives, often managing both our wealth and risk, so build a relationship with yours and take advantage of the services and expertise they offer you. If you haven’t talked to your bank in a hot minute, make it a priority.

Admit ignorance. If you don’t know how a process works, ask. Ask parents, ask successful friends, ask experts, read a book. Do your research, and fact check the sources of the information you find to ensure it’s sound and from a trustworthy source. Make financial education part of your rolling task list and don’t neglect it. Factor financial reading into your daily or weekly intake, or check out or download a book about a topic that either interests or intimidates you. Ignorance will cost you, in bad decisions, delayed good decisions, or lost benefits or opportunities.

In short: be proactive not passive.

Humor, Links, Politics, Pop Culture

Weekend Links

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV

Happy weekend, ducklings!

Whew, we made it. This has been a rough week for me, with spiking anxiety and attendant issues that (as usual) have little grounding in reality and (as usual) I am unable to control. Brains are weird, troublesome things. I’ve had to break down a few pride barriers and ask for help for things left and right…and the unexpected result has been that I’ve ended up on the receiving end of some staggering pieces of kindness and generosity. I’m still reeling from it and frankly a bit weepy…as I have been for most of the week.

More on that later, perhaps, I’m still processing the feelings and mostly just trying to express gratitude.

I hope you’ve received some kindness or generosity this week too; if you have, tell me about them in the comments. And then kick back and avoid your weekend chores with this batch of reading I’ve lovingly put together for you.

 

No, I’m still not satiated with think pieces on the Fleabag jumpsuit.

Here, have an interview with the costume designer too!

How to radicalize a young person in a few easy clicks.

Dolly Parton is perfect. She always has been.

Standing ovation bloody well deserved, but it’s horrible that he is still having to lead this fight 18 years on.

This is not a feel good story! Nine year olds going into debt for food is a sign that ours, the wealthiest society on earth, is horrifically broken!

Are we allowed to call them concentration camps yet?!

Once again the President just admitted on camera and without coercion that, hey foes, he’s up for crimes if you wanna hang! And once again,  no consequences. It’s incredible. This man should not be running a bowling alley, much less a country.

Mitch McConnell is bad, everybody. Then again, over here in the UK, the race for the next leader of the Tory party (and therefore premiership) is underway and Boris Johnson is in the lead. So truly, who am I to judge.

In Utah/Mormon news…stahp.

In more productive Mormon news, a thoughtful interview on what a patriarchal culture looks like to younger generations in the LDS Church and why they may be troubled by it, while still believing in and actively participating in the truth claims and culture. More nuanced discussions of faith and culture, please.

This is a couple of weeks old now, but I’ve just seen this article and now feel extremely dumb for not having noticed it before.

No, I’m also not done talking about the brilliance of Chernobyl. Have a lovely interview with the woman responsible for the haunting and perfect score. (Also, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?)

As a beauty addict and a marketer, this piece from The Atlantic was fascinating.

Relatedly, this piece on how brand logos have changed over the years was also very interesting!

Good riddance, useless woman.

One of the victims of a homophobic attack which went viral speaks up and shames everyone. Good. Hate crimes towards the LGBT community are on the rise and must be confronted.

We do not deserve Keanu.

This thread is quite the emotional rollercoaster, but keep going with it.

Feminism, Humor, Links, News, Politics, Pop Culture

Weekend Links

“At midnight, in the month of June, I stand beneath the mystic moon.” 
― Edgar Allan Poe

Happy weekend, kittens! Jeff is at a friend’s birthday abroad this weekend, and I’m cheerfully scheming of what I can get away with in his absence. In the midst of all that, I’m also getting a lot of adult tasks done like the usual household maintenance and laundry because adulthood is a never ending list of monotonous chores. Weekend Links

Procrastinate with me by enjoying this nice batch of weekend reading I’ve put together for you. I’m obviously biased, but I think this is a rather nice assemblage of pop culture, feminism, PRIDE celebration, fashion, politics, and archaeology. Why else do you people come to this dinky little site?

The uncomfortable State Visit is over, and here in the UK we’re using some pageantry in the form of Trooping the Colour as a palate cleanser, whilst my president is awkwardly stepping on his own NASA message and conflating the Moon and Mars on Twitter. Totally on par examples of the symbolic role of the state.

I never get over these stories. How do people just misplace this stuff!?

Kimberly Clark–drag queen and YouTube legend of anti-beauty-consumerism–is back!

There is a great interview with Stephen Colbert in the New York Times this week, and it will not surprise you at all to hear that I loved his thoughtful answer to why he loves Tolkien so much. He is a noted fan and, as all the best fans are (regardless of what their fandom is centered on), his reasons for his love are deep and personal. Speaking of, he also gives an excellent answer to what he sees the differences are between good and bad for you faith, interverweaving his own religious faith and life history.

I need this tattooed somewhere.

My interest in J. Crew think pieces is inexhaustible but this Vanity Fair article is pretty darn good despite the plethora of options from which to choose. “The narrowness of the world the company first opened a window to is now, thankfully, a thing of the past. There is no one way to look or dress “American.” So how do you resuscitate a brand built on this definition? And is there still room for it?”

Ooh, our next bonnet and corset drama is coming!

I agree.

Anne Helen Petersen drops her latest deep dive.

Some commentator made the point that at most other points in human history, the inability to plant or harvest an estimated 70% of ones crop might be considered something of a setback…

Step aside, Florida Man!

An excellent piece from Tom and Lorenzo about some of the history and mythology around the Stonewall Riots. Fascinating, PRIDE Month appropriate, and important.

Of wifehood and wifery.

While I’m not at all a fan of those who try to claim Shakespeare was not Shakespeare…I have to admit I liked this article at The Atlantic!

There is an unsubtle connection between misogyny and terrorism. “In 2018, a few months before Beierle stood in that studio, the Southern Poverty Law Center added a new category to its tracking list of hate movements around the country: male supremacy….While old-guard white supremacists revered women as the mothers of the race, younger bigots despise them as just one more group responsible for eroding their status.”

It’s summer. Wear sunscreen.

Rhianna is getting her money, in the literal definition of goals.

There was a fun experience going around social media and specifically Instagram this week, where some simple instructions showed users how to access the information that is used to control the ads that they see on the platform. The joke was, that almost everyone was baffled by what their data showed as their interests…it was almost always weird or wrong (if you believe people on the internet talking about themselves…but mine certainly made little sense!). The consensus opinion being that people are liars or the algorithms are not as strong or correct as we are often led to believe. I lean towards the latter. Algorithms, for all they control our world, are man-made things. Popular science YouTuber Veritasium happened to make a video about this from the YouTube perspective this week, which is worth a view if you want to understand the fraught relationship between platforms, creators, and views–as well as how sensationalism has overtaken…everything. This is true of our politics, media, and publishing worlds as well.

INDEED.

Babies and young children are dying in facilities in which they should not be being held in the first godamn place. If you have extra cash to spare this week, throw it at RAICES who is doing important work on the border. Our president may not be able to make up his mind whether he’s pro or against tariffs (and trying to avoid a fight with his own senate) but children are still dying.

Like everyone else in the world, I am debating whether or not I could pull off THAT Fleabag jumpsuit. I suspect not. I suspect I may buy it anyway….

Straight Pride…I can’t even. What a basket of WTFery.

Exhibit 1,403,582 why PRIDE matters (read the story):

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Beauty, Goals, Humor, Shopping

Makeup No Buy

“Treat your makeup like jewelry for the face. Play with colors, shapes, structure – it can transform you.”
– Francois Nars

At the start of the year I gave myself a goal to not buy any new beauty or makeup products until my birthday in early June. This was partially to reset my buying habits for this, my favorite category of guilty pleasure purchases, and partially to help carve out a little extra savings by reducing or eliminating some necessary spending.

Time for some accountability reporting!

When it comes to skincare, I’ve already blogged about how my habits here are a real source of satisfaction. At 33, my skin is probably the best its ever been and my main goal is to keep it that way as long as possible. Drink water, eat healthy, exfoliate, and don’t screw it up with ingredients that muck up the delicate balance–easy! …Right?

Hm, on to makeup then. In this category I did need to make some purchases that were within the limitations of the self-challenge as I had no backups already on my shelves when they ran out. In the past few months I used up my Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation and a Lancome stick foundation which doubled as a concealer for me due to the consistency of the product. I also used up a tube of Givenchy primer. All of these are excellent products that I’d easily recommend, but in the spirit of my financial challenges I wanted to see if I could find alternatives (at least for now) at lower pricepoints. With summer coming in and my skin in pretty good condition these days, I don’t need full coverage makeup and so picked up a Maybelline blurring primer from the drugstore, a skin tint from Glossier, and (the splurge) a Charlotte Tilbury concealer. All of this are working together really well so once again, I won’t be buying anything in this product category until I use them up.

So other than that, did I meet my goal of not buying new products? Well, no, I slipped up twice.

On a work trip that routed me through Heathrow Airport at an ungodly hour of the morning, the dutyfree beauty counters called to me and I wandered past Burberry in a moment of weakness. I’m not sure what’s happened to Burberry’s beauty brand, they were having a bit of a moment a few years ago under then-Creative Director Wendy Rowe, but that seems to have faded. This is too bad, because they had a lot of really good products and I wish they were easier to find these days. Alas for my self control at 4am, they ARE to be found at Heathrow and that’s how I came home with two additional lip products that I didn’t strictly need.

And then, because my brain really does exist in an all-or-nothing state, and because I had already broken my goal once, I found it easy to justify picking up a handful of beauty products whilst on holiday with X in Italy when we discovered a local brand shop and self indulged. I don’t even have the excuse of an early morning flight and sleep deprivation, it was just weak will. Beauty tourism is one of the pleasures of travelling with girlfriends and Italy is the home of many a global brand’s makeup manufacturing hub. It was always going to be a risk! In our case, we discovered the brand Wycon and I picked up a totally unnecessary highlighter, lipstick, and mascara. I also got a three-pan custom eyeshadow palette in the most shockingly basic shades…and I’m completely thrilled with it. It’s easily one of the most practical beauty purchases I’ve ever made. All of these items were at drugstore prices and, while a lapse, were not nearly on par with my infidelity with Burberry.

I atoned for both of these misdeeds by going through my arsenal to remove at least the same amount of items as I added. My sister is getting some more beauty products (that girl hasn’t had to shop for anything in years), and a few old or expired items went in the bin where they needed to be. My beauty shelves are still bigger than a lot of people’s but they are smaller than the last time I wrote about them. My love of beauty hasn’t changed but my tastes are shifting a bit, as is my knowledge as a consumer.

Most of all, my shopping habits in this area have shifted dramatically. As has been well-documented, I made the consumerist breakthrough with my clothing a long time ago that made me shop almost entirely second hand or through ethical brands with transparent production and labor information. Understanding my style preferences has also helped to shrink my wardrobe over time and shop less overall. The same is happening with my bathroom shelves.

Makeup and beauty is a bit different because they are perishable products, but the same basic premises of “reduce, reuse, and recycle” apply. This project has helped me focus on buying less, using what I already have in creative ways instead of justifying new products, and documenting what I use up (and how bloody long it takes!) before I recycle packaging. Where possible and reasonable I’ve also tried to shop from brands I’m happier to support with my dollars for their commitments to good practice, or just to support independent businesses.

Even though the project is officially ending, I think I’m going to try and keep the spirit of it going through the end of the year. While I may buy beauty items, I’ll continue to do so primarily to replace used up items and if I do buy something totally new, I will first get rid of something I already own that’s similar. I’ll also continue to do Empties blog posts (because I love them) a couple of times a year, so keep an eye out for the next one in August or so. In the meantime, watch this space for a few more posts on how my self has changed over the past couple of years, and why!

Humor

33 Random Facts

“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.” 
― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Today’s my birthday and so I thought I’d drop a few random facts to coordinate with the number of times I’ve been around the sun. Just for kicks! If you’re a long time reader, you may already know most of these and if you’re new you may learn more than you ever wished to. Either way, hope there’s at least one surprise in here:

1. My eye color changes slightly with my mood and Jeff jokes (accurately) that he can tell how angry I am by how bright green my eyes are. Funner fact, I share this trait with my mother and sister. The women of my family come with a warning beacon!

2. I cannot wash dishes for the life of me. Something about the sensation of grimy water triggers a gag reflex in me that I have never been able to overcome and it’s clearly partially psychological because even wearing gloves doesn’t prevent the feeling. I’d rather clean a bathroom top to bottom twice than clean dishes by hand.

3. One of my favorite snacks of all time is the most basic of basic: cheese and crackers. Bliss.

4. Meanwhile my favorite candy is probably sour gummy peaches. I remember going to the movies with my dad as a kid and always bee-lining for the pick-and-mix to buy a scoop or two of these goodies and now in the last year of my early 30s, precisely nothing has changed.

5. My most consistent emotional habit has been being way too influenced by what I’m currently watching, reading, or listening to. A book can absolutely wreck my mood for a week if I’m not careful.

6. I hate having to wash and blowdry my hair. Men and women who enjoy this grooming task baffle me. If I had endless wealth I would absolutely waste a portion of it on professional blowouts so I didn’t have to do it myself.

7. I took piano lessons for 12 years and was an absolute brat about it for most of that time. I didn’t awaken to the underlying parental wisdom until my late teens and subsequently paid for my own lessons whilst in university. Mom was right…

8. (If you’re new around here) I was raised Mormon and very publicly left the faith about five years ago. However I remain deeply interested in and invested in the Mormon community and other intersections of faith, culture, and community building.

9. In the interest of total honesty, I just counted them and I own 26 lipstick or lip products. Believe it or not, this is a dramatic downgrade from previous years. It’s my favorite addiction.

10. Growing up my parents were strict about what constituted appropriate “sabbath day” activities, including TV and movies. My enduring love for PBS 100% springs from the fact that Sunday night nature documentaries and performances felt like such a treat. (Editors note: my parents massively relaxed this rule with their subsequent three children, which I am bitter about to this day.)

11. One of the traits I’m least proud of is how naturally lazy I am. I talk and focus on motivation so much because given half a chance my preference is to be horizontal and lying in a sunbeam like a cat.

12. One of the biggest items on my bucket list is making it to all seven continents: only Africa, South America, and Antarctica to go.

13. Baths are my favorite way to end the day, no matter the weather. It can be high summer and I will still want to soak in hot water to wind down before going to bed.

14. My deep, abiding, and well-documented love of lipstick notwithstanding, if I had to run out the door with only one thing “done” to my face it would be mascara. I’m dark haired but my eyelashes are weirdly and obnoxiously pale so without it, I look like an extremely unwell person.

15. I have seen the classic A&E miniseries version of Pride and Prejudice literally hundreds of times. My mom and I used to watch it together on weekends (see Fact 10) and for a few years we just planned on “P&P Sundays” as we called them. The count, therefore, is exceptionally high. I regret nothing.

16. As a toddler I called bananas “beenas,” which is now something of a family joke.

17. Other family jokes and catchphrases over the years the maxim include, “No bayoneting at the table!” Once exclaimed by a vexed parent, but still sound etiquette advice, I feel.

18. The only video games I have ever gotten into, and it is a loose definition, are Sid Meier’s Civilization and Pokemon.

19. If there is one documentary I would make everyone watch to better understand America and Americans, it’s Ken Burn’s Prohibition. I’m dead serious about this.

20. Likewise if there is one book I would make everyone ready to understand British class and wealth attitudes, it would be Snobs by Julian Fellowes. But don’t try to use it as field guide, I warn you!

21. Favorite artist: Botticelli. Nevertheless…

22. Favorite works of art: Nike of Samothrace for statuary, tie between Botticell’s Birth of Venus and Almond Blossoms by Vincent Van Gogh for painting. Sheep May Softly Graze, by J. S. Bach for pieces of music. I refuse to choose between novels, but I will defend the original Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in its original radio broadcast form to my death as a work of high art.

23. I am just under five feet tall, my husband is over six feet, and yet I require three quarters of our bed space to sleep at night. Thems the rules.

24. We got married one month past my 23rd birthday and I still joke about being a childbride.

25. I blogged anonymously for years because once upon a time (how quaint!) there was this weird idea about anonymity on the internet which seems to have fallen mostly by the wayside. Except for the troll farms.

26. While I may be a makeup and beauty junkie I have not dyed my hair since high school and I have never once worn fake tan or lashes.

27. My favorite color in the world is green. I initially chose it out of spite as a wee tot when a classroom exercise divided children up by eye color and I was the only one with green eyes. Some teasing ensued to which I declared that I didn’t mind standing by myself because my favorite color was green, so there! This story definitely reveals something about my psyche but I’m not sure what it is.

28. I bake when I’m angry or stressed.

29. One of the things that I like least about myself is how much I rely on other people’s praise and good opinion. I’d like to be more badass and say that I don’t care what people think about me…but in my heart of hearts I do.

30. One of the things that I like best about myself is my ability to sustain and enjoy friendships that literally span decades. It’s an investment of love and delight that has paid back more in interest than I could have ever imagined.

31. I got one of those “useless” liberal arts degrees that ends in the word “studies” and mostly made up of coursework in medieval history. It has nothing to do with how my career has subsequently turned out, and if I had to do it all over again, I’d pick the same degree.

32. Until I went to university, I never lived anywhere longer than three years growing up and to this day have a hard time staying in one place (whether that’s a job, an apartment, or a country) longer than that.

33. I have looked forward to my 30s since I was a kid and thus far, the decade is not disappointing me.

Humor, Links, News, Pop Culture

Weekend Links: How the Hell is it Already June, Edition

“Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.”
– Al Bernstein

This was a short work week, and so I’ve mostly been head down and nose firmly to grindstone, ducklings. What did I miss?

[Scans news headlines. Screams into cushion for full five minutes. Rises and shakes self off in a supremely British manner.]

Okay. I’m caught up. Woof. Let’s just get to the weekend reading and sharing of good things, shall we? This weekend we’re brunching with friends, celebrating my birthday, soaking up the sun and yes…unfortunately doing a bit of work. C’est la vie. Share your favorite links and stories with me in the comments and tell me what nice things you are doing with friends, family, or your glorious self. Points for bragging!

First and foremost, happy Pride Month! I hope all in the community and allies are doing something absolutely joyous and fun to celebrate.

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The BBC is about to do it again!

The long term effects of male-preference is going to last for a least a couple of generations, and some sociologists have shown rises in crime or military activity alongside gender ratio imbalances this great. The cost for women is inevitably huge, with rises in trafficking and worse. But the honest question I have in reading so many of these stories is one of foundational math: if you and everyone else you know are having sons, where exactly do you think your grandchildren are coming from?

What a ride this tale was!

A delightful Instagram account for your delectation.

The absolutely galling shenanigans having to do with the USS John McCain this week are embarrassing. Not least of all because the administration tried to put the genie back in the bottle and declare the whole news piece “fake,” after administration official already confirmed it. And frankly, the most generous interpretation of the situation is still pretty bad.

Congress is the only check on the executive that we have in the US system. I feel that Mr. Mueller has made it clear that this is his formal position. His actions have been as per existing law. The trouble…is Congress. And the fact that rules don’t seem to apply anymore.

The systematic changes to how the US government is tracking and publicly reporting on climate change is bad. There is a great The Daily podcast episode on this as well that’s worth a listen.

I delight that someone has studied this.

The kids are alright.

You’re either on the side of women having autonomy over their own bodies or you’re not. It’s that simple.

It’s the end of an era! Sidenote, I definitely have an old iPod with a bunch of unsynced songs somewhere. I should dig that sucker out.

The census isn’t sexy but it’s important and there is a reason that conservatives are targeting it. And they ARE targeting it. Our saving grace may yet be that a lot of bad faith actors reveal themselves to be piss poor at covering their tracks in the end.

So clearly the other side thinks that event went really well.

What is it going to take?!

My people are a proud people, our culture a vibrant culture.

Our president is an idiot or a troll, and either option is Very Bad.

And finally, you cannot convince me that this wasn’t some kind of lifetime high for several people involved:

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Goals, Humor

Year of Discipline: May

“As full of spirit as the month of May, and as gorgeous as the sun in Midsummer.”
– William Shakespeare

What a month this was, my treasures. I’m just going to have to come out and admit that when it comes to goals and personal progress, most of this month was really just about getting through one week at a time with work commitments. That and a little overdue self-indulgence when it came to girl time!

I’m not entirely happy with myself when it comes to a my annual theme lately. I haven’t felt disciplined at all, just swinging from some version of over-severe austerity to utter laxness, with a side helping of emotional overwhelm for good measure. But I think this is why the idea of discipline felt so important for me to focus on, it’s not a natural state for me–at least a healthy version isn’t. The journey to a most sustainable set of habits and expectations which provide the structure I want is going to be a longer one that I thought, but I think that’s okay.

General Motivation: 

Shocking. Nonexistent. If it hasn’t been work or recovery from work, I don’t know her.

Health: 

*shoves another cheesey bread into her face and cackles*

Finances: 

…actually pretty good. My best friend X and I planned a near-impromptu girls trip to Naples and I was actually to pay for the whole thing up front and basically in cash. I was so excited about this milestone…until one of my brothers got engaged and planned a summer wedding in the same year! And while we’re absolutely delighted, we definitely didn’t plan or budget for a trip to the States in 2019. Ah well. Back on the savings to buy a lovely wedding present and humbly having to ask parents to help us out with travel arrangements. My parents are thrilled, it’s been literally ten years since their last wedding (mine) and the siblings are flying in from all across the world (literally) for the shindig. Yay, weddings!

Grooming:

With the warmer weather now fully in play, I’ve found it easier to make the effort to get up just a bit earlier and try and do something with my mane. Most days. The warm weather also brings humidity and its tendency to laugh in my face when I attempt to do anything grown up with my face and hair.

Other stuff:

Continued immigration work prep and conversations with landlord about extending our lease later this year. These are far from settled but it’s good to focus on moving these along. Here’s to not being stateless OR homeless!

Organized my Dropbox photos, especially my recent travel ones.

Set aside some things to hand over to my sister when I see her this summer–spoiled kid.

Tailored and repaired some clothing, as well as properly packed away my cold weather knits with cedar balls for protection against moths. Like a grown up!

Put the biggest corporate event project I work on all year to bed.

Worked on my next 101/1001 list...watch this space!

Favorites, Humor

Five Things I Loved in May

“It’s May, the lusty month of May
That darling month when everyone throws self-control away
It’s time to do a wretched thing or two
And try to make each precious day one you’ll always rue.”
– Camelot

Piglets, another month has flown by and what a month…

Look, the world continues to be a wild ride but we all of us get by with a little help from our friends, small luxuries, cosmic vocations, or funny memes on the internet. You do you, beloveds. Here’s a short list of the things that made the lusty month of May a bit less angst-ridden than it otherwise could have been. Share your own sanity savers and favorite things in the comments and let’s chat about them!

Pompeii

I know, I know, I need to do a proper blog post about it and I’m long overdue but this month I finally got to see Pompeii and my little nerd heart could barely contain itself. The child of a classicist and one of a clan of history buffs, this has been on the To Do list since I was about five years old, but it’s still difficult to express how blown away I was by the completeness of the site. Many archaeological sites are fractured or so eroded that piecing together its mysteries is the work of a life time. Pompeii really is a time capsule tucked under the pseudo-benign shadow of its resident volcano. Please enjoy X’s snap of my general mood above.

 

Chernobyl, by HBO and Sky Atlantic

This miniseries is only five episodes long but is probably the most compelling “horror” piece I have ever watched. Twenty minutes into episode one and my whole body was clenched tight, the dread and slow-dawning fear was that palpable. It recounts the famous nuclear disaster, with an emphasis not so much on the science as the psychology of what it meant for those in the literal blast zone of an unprecedented catastrophic event with millions of lives at stake. The way the series is structured (the first episode recounts mere hours and each chapter encompasses more and more time as the long term consequences become more apparent) is masterful and not a single shot is wasted. It’s beautifully constructed and absolutely gripping. What I found so compelling was the portrayal of so many powerful people in the wake of the immediate aftermath being not just unwilling but in some cases literally unable to comprehend the facts on the ground when it didn’t correspond to their preferred narrative. The use of narrative–what nation states and individuals tell themselves and each other–is the key theme of the series, specifically why and how people lie, and especially when we do it collectively. Even though it’s telling a story over thirty years old, it feels horribly relevant. (A secondary recommendation is the accompanying podcast by the showrunner and NPR’s Peter Sagal about the background and making of the show. It’s excellent.)

 

Tiny Beautiful Things, by Cheryl Strayed

What a gorgeous, generous book this collection was. Taken verbatim from Strayed’s now famous turn as an advice columnist (she’s still doing the gig but now in podcast form), what struck me most in reading her thoughtful and intensely personal responses to the questions her readers placed in her keeping was a deep sense of kindness. Whether dealing with toxic relationships, existential crisis, tragedy and loss, or perseverance, each of her essays are masterclasses in conveying care for her correspondent. I realized in reading the book how few expressions of generosity and kindness I see in most of my culture intake. It’s a vastly underrated thing and while she makes it look easy, I have come to believe that genuine kindness is actually very hard to do. Which is probably why all major religions advocate for it on some level. I’m behind on my reading goals for the year, but I swallowed this book in two sittings over a weekend.

 

Charlotte Tilbury Matte Revolution Lipstick, in English Beauty

Who am I? What am I? What have I become?! Yes kittens, this month I’ve traded in my customary red lipstick for a limited edition nude lipstick by Charlotte Tilbury. A much beloved makeup artist, she launched her eponymous line a few years ago here in the UK and more recently it made its way to the US and elsewhere. The aesthetic of her brand is distinctly glam, and while that’s not really my preferred style, her lip products are to die for. I can recommend her matte formula as one that produces a velvety, opaque color on the lips but does not dry them out or flake as other mattes tend to do. This particular shade is limited edition, but I’m not a person who hoards her rare or expensive products, waiting for the “perfect opportunity” to wear them. Life is short, makeup is perishable. Wear the damn nice stuff!

Girlfriends

This month I dashed off to Italy with X before she started an amazing new job and celebrated Hannah’s upcoming novel with her from afar. A good friend from work announced her pregnancy. Long phone calls, hilarious text chains, great coffee dates, and many a meme were shared. Girl gangs really are the best thing ever created.