Category: Fashion

Dork, Fabulous, Fashion, Humor

Top. Hat.

“Wearing a hat is like having a baby or a puppy; everyone stops to coo and talk about it.”
– Louise Green

And if I could, I'd be there right now, wearing this. Eliza Doolittle in the 21st century! A bit tame, but oh so pretty!

Not that anyone cares this side of the Atlantic, but the Royal Ascot is a big deal and it’s going on now en Angleterre.  And the hats are as weird, fabulous, odd, chic, and grotesque as ever.

No one wears hats over here.  And don’t try to sell me on the Kentucky Derby, it’s peanuts compared to the towering plumes, wires, and (apparently this year) legos of Ascot.  When Mum and I were talking about my then-pending nuptials, I briefly entertained the idea of getting married in England, so that we could have our reception at The Swan in Lavenham, and so that the ladies could all wear hats!  Luckily common sense prevailed, J.’s family, which is several times larger than mine, are all here.  And the mass exodus to Suffolk would have cost a fortune.  Almost as much as a hat for Ascot!

Go here or here to check out Tom and Lorenzo’s breakdown of the headgear.  And here’s one to whet your appetite for the goodies to come:

Yes. That is Edward Michael "Bear" Grylls in a pink hat. You may retrieve your collective jaws from the floor.

For more horsey fun, check out the Australians going nuts for racing fashion, T&L may think the Brits are wacky, but they have nothing on the Aussies!

Photo from wireimage.com, care of Tom and Lorenzo.
My dream hat photo from Louise Green Millinery.

Beauty, Fashion, Humor, Life

Anti. Aging.

 “God has given you one face and you make yourself another.”
– Shakespeare

A little while ago Sav wrote a post about her foray into the au naturale world of skin care, and it got me thinking. 

I remember going through the usual litany of cleansers, toners, and gadgets when I was a teenager (maybe less than some girls, since I didn’t learn how to be a girl myself until about 17).  I started with Clean and Clear, moved on to Neutrogena, and then cast it ruthlessly aside for Biore, more particularly, their Pore Strips.  Amazing! 

We're close to the same age, sweetie, but you're still looking like jailbait.
"We're close to the same age, but I'm still trying to look like jailbait. I'm reinforcing the crippling self-doubt you are probably experiencing right now just looking at my airbrushed face. Hey! We've got a product for that!"

But these days…a funny thing has started happening.  The commercials that make me sit up and pay attention, or the things I’d want to buy, are being sold by older women.  The endless parade of Disney Channel prodigies, starlets,  and pop stars that probably would have sent me scampering to the chemist’s shelves for the products they were endorsing in my youth…are children, babies!  I wouldn’t let them sell me cement, much less something to put on my face! 

Has anyone else noticed this? 

"You're obviously thinking way too hard about this one, C. Accept your ceaseless crawl towards maturity with grace. I'll be getting plastic surgery in a year or two, myself."
Fabulous, Fashion, Friends, Humor, Marriage, Shopping, Wedding

Think Pink!

“Ah, here it is.  Here’s our theme.  Here’s our answer.  Pink.  I want dresses made up in this pink.  Babs, take this to Kaiser Delmont.  I want shoes and stockings in this color.  Laura, everything goes pink.  I want the whole issue pink.  I want the whole country pink!  Lettie, take an editorial, ‘To the women of America-”  No, make it, ‘To the women everywhere.’  Banish the black, burn the blue, and bury the beige.” 
– Funny Face, 1957

Suddenly the shoe is on the other foot and I’m the one bridesmaid dress shopping.  And again, Shabby Apple (which has just launched their new bridesmaid line!) may save my butt, it depends on whether Marie will be having all us girls in the same outfit or just the same color. 

And what color could that possibly be for the bride who loves argyle, pearls, knee-socks, and perfect hair?  Pink of course!

I wish I wasn’t so technologically hopeless, I’d post pictures of the dresses I’ve found so far, but here are the links.

1st Option: really cute!

2nd Option: not great, but with a cute accessory, could be.

3rd Options: I can’t afford but love.

4th Option: favorite.  Duh.  It’s Dolce and Gabbanna.  It’s also prohibitively expensive.  But I’m thinking that’s the hair/lip/face look I’ll go for, if there aren’t any limitations placed. 

5th-11th Option: be my panel of judges, darlings.  What are your opinions of these?

Can anybody say “Color explosion?”

Fashion, Friends, Health, Humor, Husband, Money, Shopping, Working Out

This. And That.

“Good God, woman, where have you been?” he cried furiously.
A morbid lunacy overtook her.  She smiled fiercely and held up the bag.
“Shopping.  Want to see what I bought?”
– Lois McMaster Bujold

My wallet is now under permanent lock-down.  Because of going to That Show, I bought this and this (the latter for my sister-in-law’s upcoming wedding), but unfortunately not this because it did not look at all good on a less-than-five-foot woman.  I looked a frilly mess.

Pictured: the THAT in question.

Then, the other day, Venice called me (from two doors down in her flat) and said I had to come over right now.  I obligingly threw on some basketball shorts and scampered on over only to behold this. 
“Where did you get that?!” I screeched in excitement. 
“From that place we hate,” she triumphed.
“You’re kidding!”
“Nope.  For $87.00!”
“I NEED THAT!”

The next step was to get J. to agree.  I pitched it as the perfect solution to this problem, which has been exacerbated since getting married as the only time I really get to see my husband is the time I used to go to the gym.  I pinky-promised my way through the usual litany of bargains (to use it everyday, not to be a little grump when he reminds me that I haven’t worked out that day, etc.) and expounded its virtues (it’s cheap, it’s nice and small – C. sized! – it’s light, and it’s portable for future moves). 

If anything else, the sheer guilt that would come from having that sitting in my house (staring at me) will motivate me to use it.  It’s easy to ignore the gym when it’s not sitting in your living room!  So, with J.’s consent, I bought it. 

I really think this could be a solution to my exercise problem.  After coming home from work in the evening to feed this guy, coupled with the desire to enjoy this, and the lack of desire to drive back to campus to deal with this, the idea that I could work out in my own home sounds pretty darn good. 

What do you think of this plan, darlings? 

**And by the way, if I start talking about buying anything else in the near future, jump me, steal and hide my wallet, and under no circumstances return it to me.

Fashion, Humor

The Downside

“Darling, the legs aren’t so beautiful, I just know what to do with them.”
– Marlene Dietrich

Last week in an effort to hurry Spring along by dressing the part (which worked swimmingly, by the way!) I broke out this pretty thing I scored on Ebay:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Darling, no? 

The problem?  As J. and I were walking to the car for lunch, I happened to glance down and see this:

Pictured: artist's rendering of my legs.

 

“Why did you let me outside looking like this?!” I demanded.
“You’re a quarter Slovak, I have no idea why you have albino legs,” he retorted.

Family, Fashion, Shopping, Wedding

Dress Up

“I wore dresses all the time.  I like to wear dresses.”
– Willard Scott

Anyone else hitting up this awesomeness next week?  Better believe I am!  My sister-in-law is getting married in a month and I still don’t have a dress to wear.  My beloved Shabby Apple is going to be selling their fab frocks at the Riverwoods this weekend at discount.  If I don’t score this for the upcoming nuptials (which look, by the way, to be the social event of the season!) it won’t be my fault!

Fabulous, Fashion, Humor

Dressing Up/Dressing Down

“Fashion is like the id.  It makes you desire things you shouldn’t.”
– Bob Morris

Well well, it was the night of Marchesa, Armani Prive,  and Elie Saab!  There were some good, some bad, and some ugly.  Metallics, ruffles blush/nude/pale colors, thigh-high slits, and jeweled shoulder accents gave a good showing and though perhaps not as daring as last year, I was still impressed.  Heck, even Kristen Stewart cleaned up!

The Good

Vera Farmiga  and Sandra Bullock in Marchesa.  Bullock gets top marks for classy hair and the pop of red lips.

Elizabeth Banks and Demi Moore in Versace.  Banks is better here though both are on point with the ruffles, gray is an undervauled color in my opinion.

The fabulous Meryl Streep in Chris March and Kristen Stewart (surprisingly washed and coiffed) in Monique Lhullier.

Anna Kendrick and Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab.  Kendrick’s isn’t the best of the best, but she’s on point and the blush goes good with the dark hair.  McAdams was my favorite dress of the night.  Way to rock a print at the Oscars, only you and Maggie did it and both pulled it off.  Ah, Elie Saab, my love affair with you continues…

Queen Latifa in Mischka Badgley, showing how you’re supposed to dress luscious curves: right color, right accents.  Carey Mulligan in Prada, doing another cut-away-in-the-front dress.  Works!

The Bad

Amanda Seyfried and Jennifer Lopez’s stylists obviously aren’t BFFs, otherwise they might have warned one another that their clients would both be rocking Armani Prive in basically the same material.  This is purely fabric dislike on my part.  And though Lopez gets points for daring, I’m still not loving the bunch on her hip.  In Seyfried’s case, the color washes her out.

In Gabourey Sidibe’s case, I wanted to like her gown, after all it’s another Marchesa and a fantastic color but I really dislike the applique florals.  They bring down the dress for me, to a crazy nursing home belle.  If she had stuck with just this gorgeous draped blue fabric with just the sparkles on her wrist and ears it would have been classed up.  Charlize Theron, in Dior, was bad.  No one should have a perverted Miss America sash groping you.  Period.

Anika Noni Rose in (didn’t catch the designer) and Zoe Saldana in Givenchy.  Both these girls had the same problem: their bejeweled bustiers made an appearance.  The bottom of Saldana’s gown is interesting, but I’m going to have to give both of these a thumbs down.

The Ugly

Diane Kruger and Sara Jessica Parker both bombed in Chanel (impossible, you say?  This is Chanel after all.  Yes).  There were good elements in both gowns, but neither translated on the wearers, I thought.  The first is Eliza Doolittle Goes to the Races, and the second is a sack. 

Congratulations, Mariah Carey, you managed to make Valentino look bad.  The proportions here are just all wrong.  And, Miley sweetie, better than last year but you join Saldana with underwear as outerwear for a top.  And you’re tiny but you looked so cinched in you might as well have been wearing Spanx.  Keep trying, you’re getting there.

And the dress I wanted to take home for myself (I don’t think I could pull off the McAdams dress, unfortunately, but this one would more than compensate): Penelope Cruz’s Donna Karan.

Thoughts?  Compare to last year, what do you think?  

 

Fabulous, Fashion, Humor, Movies

And the Award Goes To…

“That’s a bingo!  …Is that the way you say it?  ‘That’s a bingo?'”
“You just say bingo.”
“Ah!  Bingo!  How fun!  But I digress.  Where were we?”
– Inglorious Basterds

Today has been a lovely Sunday, it’s sunny and gorgeous outside, you can smell Spring in the air in spite of the snow on the mountains, J. and I made a to-die-for mac and cheese recipe that had pretentious enough ingredients to make it seem much more difficult than it actually was, and I’m whipping up cookies (plus snacking on kettlecorn as I dash back and forth between the kitchen and the red-carpet interviews, my dedication is being tested…).

I’ll be doing my annual Oscar dress review tomorrow, but let me just say this now:

If Christoph Waltz doesn’t win best supporting actor, I shall be extremely vexed.  And if Avatar wins Best Picture I will lose all faith in Hollywood.  J. wants The Cove to win best documentary.  I want the fabulous Carey Mulligan or divine Sandra Bullock to win best actress but Helen Miren (aka The Queen), the precious Gabourey Sidibe, and the goddess that is Meryl Streep will give them stiff competition.  I think Mo’nique will win best supporting actress (indeed that seems to be the real story of this Oscar Award Season).  I pick Up for best animated feature, The Young Victoria for costume design (might be wistful thinking, I wouldn’t mind Coco Avant Chanel either again based on personal prejudice for Chanel and Audrey Tautou), I pick Katheryn Bigelow for best director for The Hurt Locker (go women!).  The Hurt Locker seems to be the frontrunner for Best Picture.  And I can’t pick a best actor, I’d love to see Morgan Freeman win in this category after a career of famous supporting rolls, and who doesn’t have a soft spot for Mr. Darcy…er…Colin Firth.  And again, not to harp, but GO CHRISTOPH WALTZ!

Any last minute pics out there?  Raging debate?  Big bets?  Do share!

Remember this scene? Better than that whole "plot" of Avatar's.
Fabulous, Fashion, Humor, Movies

Fabulous, Darling

“Fashion is what one wears oneself.  Unfashionable, is what other people wear.”
– An Ideal Husband

I’ve been following both the New York and London Fashion Weeks, and last night I celebrated both by renting The September Issue and drooling over the beautiful spreads.  I’ve been resisting the desire to wear large sunglasses indoors and limit my smiling to almost unseeable bursts of rare approval ever since. 

And for those who love fashion and also have a sense of humor, here’s a website for you to check out.  Enjoy!