“University Police, this is C., how can I help you?”
“I’d like to speak to a customer service representative, please.”
“Ma’am-”
“Customer service.”
“Ma’am -”
“Cus-to-mer ser-vice!”
“Ma’am, I’m not a recording. How can I help you?”
“Oh, hello. I lost my purse today. I was coming to campus with my seven grandchildren – Mary, John, Paul, James, Agnes, Peter, and Martha – and we went to the museum, then stopped for lunch and went to the art museum before going to get ice cream.”
“I see. Well, ma’am, the first -”
“They all wanted strawberry, except for Agnes who hates strawberry and had to have chocolate and Peter because he’s lactose intolerant. So when I got them all home I got everything out of my car, it’s a 2008 suburban, tan, and I just got it new tires last week, I also had to get the oil changed!”
“Alright, so what you’ll need to do -”
“And frankly I was less than impressed by how difficult it was to get around campus with seven children, I really think you should make more accommodations for large families. But my purse is a large satchel, canvass, and it has my planner, my medications, and my wallet and I really need it back! Could you send an officer to go look for it?”
“I can try but I strongly recommend you come in and make a police report with us, and that you also -”
“Oh, surely no one would steal my bag and my bank isn’t very helpful. I’ve known the manager for years and you think he would be more respectful to an older woman, especially a neighbor like me. I really think that it’s a shame how people treat ladies my age! The person who served us our ice cream, except for Peter of course, was also not very helpful. You’re not being very helpful either.”
“I am trying my best, ma’am. If you could give me a little more -”
“You’re not listening to me at all. Please transfer me to someone who could be more useful.”
Look for the woman in the dress. If there is no woman, there is no dress. – Coco Chanel
Let’s face it: you, and yes I am looking directly at you with a smirk of approval, are fabulous. And if you were going to live abroad, “abroad,” or even just pop over to a city for a week or two, you would invariably have cause to dress up. Maybe the ambassador would need to invite you to a lavish supper because the country had no other citizens of your nationality to ask, maybe you do something heroic and save an entire city from destruction and have to sit for a parade in your honor, anything could happen, kittens, and like the Boy Scouts you should Be Prepared.
Admittedly in this scenario you are a lot more impressive than I, the best I am hoping for is the wedding of a friend, a Christmas party, or a night out on the town, but the principle is the same. If you’re going anywhere for several months, you are going to need a pretty frock that looks really good, travels well, and doesn’t break the bank.
Remember our cardinal rule: everything you pack must be able to pull double duty. I love a glam sequined dress as much as the next girl but consider, gorgeous as such an item is, you probably cannot wear it to a tasteful country wedding (unless you’re Scarlett). Choose something you could wear to both Christmas mass and a Christmas work party, a New Years Eve bash, a cocktail party, a night out, and – in my case – any graduation festivities that may arise.
As always, stick with your own tastes and don’t try on a new persona at the last minute. Knits are easier to travel with, but might not look as polished unless you really hunt for them, so put in the time to find a good dress you really love. If you’re really flush, I recommend both a Little Black Dress as well as another frock in color. Don’t forget that you can pop down to Camden Market or Portobello Road (or your travel destination’s equivalent) to find a fascinator for a wedding, thrown on a necklace and earrings to glam up for an evening out, and experiment with hair, makeup, and nail colors to change your look. With only two dresses, you may have a closet full of different different looks!
Have at least one pair of really nice dress shoes that you can wear with any formal frock, black is a good standby. It will save suitcase room and won’t let you down.
“Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets.”
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook
Some of you may still be a bit battered by our last exercise, but grudging health commitments have taught me that the only cure for soreness is the hair of the dog and so back into the fray! This time we’re tackling your wardrobe, what are the chances we’ll find Narnia?
Moving is always an excellent excuse to go through your closet because there is generally quite a bit of stuff in it that you don’t wear, doesn’t fit, no longer reflects your style or taste, has started to wear out, or that you are ready to let go of. There is no better excuse for an honest examination (or in the case of some, an archeological expedition) of one’s closet than the knowledge that if you are keeping something you will have to find room for it in two suitcases. And if you aren’t taking it, that you will have to find a place to store it while you are out of the country or gird your loins and get rid of it.
Now I’m not one of those ogresses that demand you chuck everything dear to you (am I, ducklings?), I know that in every closet their lurks some treasures that it simply wouldn’t be feasible to transport but you can’t get rid of. All I’m saying is that you should be honest about what constitutes real treasure. A couple of contrasting examples:
Freshman year some friends of mine had t-shirts made for our group. I’ve carefully preserved that shirt for the memories but haven’t worn it once in nearly 6 years. When I pulled it out of my closet, I grinned a bit remembering some of the scrapes we got into, thought of friends I haven’t seen in a while, and generally reminisced about the four years I spent at university. And then I put it in the donate pile. Hanging onto a shirt that only takes up room in storage when I already don’t wear it doesn’t make a lot of sense. And of course I realized that I don’t necessarily need a shirt to remember people and good times anymore.
Alternatively, in my closet also resides my wedding dress. It too represents memories but the difference between it and a t-shirt (besides price) is not lost on me. If I have a daughter she may want to wear it for her own wedding, or perhaps my sister would like to borrow it for her nuptials – giving my parents a sigh of relief and Snickers more coin to drop on the party itself. Or perhaps someday I’ll donate it to another good cause. But until then, I’m much less willing to part with it rather than an old, never worn t-shirt.
I WISH. Mine is nothing so organized.
And in between these two extremes is most of what I own. I have pretty dresses and skirts that I spent good money on, are in excellent shape, and that I quite like, that won’t be necessary to me overseas. I have tops that I haven’t worn for a long time and won’t miss. I have any number of shoes, including a few pairs from Italy and Paris that I love but won’t stand up to cobbled streets or inclimate weather.
And so, armed with a ruthless will and clear vision of what I intend to hold precious, I fling open the doors and survey everything I own and start asking the practical and philosophical questions about individual items:
Is it in good shape? Are hems fraying, seams ripping, or is it generally falling apart? Is the answer is yes, donate or chuck it.
If it isn’t in good shape, can you get it back into working order? If all that’s wrong with a perfectly good jacket or cardigan is a missing button, it’s beyond foolish to chuck it for a easily repairable flaw.
Have I worn this item in the last six months? If not, you can probably get rid of it without qualm.
Do I still like it? In every closet there resides at least one lapse in sartorial judgment, and if you don’t like it now, you won’t like it later.
Does it still fit properly? There’s no reason to hang on to something that doesn’t.
Will I wear it (which is an entirely different question than “Have I worn it?” I wear lots of things here in the States during summer that might not be so practical for a Fall/Winter school year in Europe)?
If I leave it behind, will I wear it when I get back or will it be too dated, out of style, or no longer practical for my situation in life?
Do I have multiple items that serve the same functions? If so, which one would be more practical to take and would give me the most and best wear?
Any clothing that doesn’t pass muster gets tossed into bin liners to be donated, offered to friends, given to Snickers, or is set aside to be stored. What’s does is what’s coming with you. The next step is make sure you have the necessary items to make it through a calendar year abroad, and we’ll start exploring that in future posts.
So, sound off! What categories of things does an enterprising globe hopper need for a jaunt abroad?
As I made my way around the track, sans Margot, someone or rather something caught my eye. My eyesight, never 20/20 and at the time worsened by sweat, took a minute to adjust, and my brain took an even longer minute to process before I could coherently form the thought, “Are those…knickers?”
And lo, minions, they were. Sort of.
The girl just ahead of me on the track was made up to a ludicrous degree, which (since she was running) looked rather bad; her mascara was starting to run and the carefully applied roses in her cheeks to, er, wilt. Her hair was a shade of blonde not seen in nature, and her skin an equally improbable degree of orange. She was wearing an extremely low tank top that provided no, ahem, support as she moved. But what truly baffled me was that she was wearing a skirt to jog in.
I call it a skirt. Truthfully it barely fit the description, ending as it did just south of the law. Loincloth is more appropriate. And there’s no need to accuse me of clutching my pearls and prudery, if you’d seen it you’d agree. The trouble with this skirt/loincloth was that every time she took a step it rode up to reveal her choice of underwear, which I will only characterize by saying they must have been desperately uncomfortable to run in…if you know what I mean.
I’ve seen people at gyms spending more time gazing at themselves in a mirror or strutting around the machinery to attract attention, but all that paled in comparison. Alright, perhaps I am pearl clutching and getting a bit Victorian Aunty in my old age, but honestly? Knickers on display? At the jogging track? Really?
“The hard must become habit. The habit must become easy. The easy must become beautiful.”
~ Doug Henning
Today’s lecture is on habits, particularly those for physical health. Habits are hard work, making as well as breaking. And if you want to have some good ones while abroad, frankly you’ve got to get cracking on them long before you ever step foot in an airport.
I am not one of those people who naturally likes working out (those endorphins I’m promised? Lies. Never have they once materialized!) and so it’s something I do largely because I know I should, not because I particularly enjoy it. But it’s a habit now and I work hard at keeping it one. First of all, it is much easier to maintain your health, weight, workout schedule, and strength if you’ve already got it stabilized long before you move. Secondly, living abroad can be more physically demanding: no cars, all walking, lots of carrying, etc. It’s much better to already be in shape when you arrive than to spend a miserable few weeks huffing and puffing up and down stairs because you have to buy groceries more frequently (thanks to those tiny ice boxes).
The summer I did a study abroad there was an absurdly large number of girls who packed work out gear, clothes, and shoes that never once saw the light of day. I couldn’t have cared less about whether or not they went running, but as a traveler, I shook my head over the wasted space in their luggage and the silliness of their assumption that even though they weren’t in the habit of working our regularly at home, they would magically acquire it in a foreign country. Learn from their fail.
“Every duke and earl and peer is here Everyone who should be here is here What a smashing, positively dashing spectacle the Ascot opening day.” – My Fair Lady
J.’s never been (understandable) and neither have I (unacceptable). I think we should go next year and mingle with the unhyphenated name crowds that go just for the hat watching. What say ye, minions?
“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” – Tim Cahill
Photo basely stolen from her blog.
Let me refer you an ever fab and ferociously funny cyber-mate of mine, geekgirl and her ongoing series of travel tips (read here for thoughts on shoes, souvenirs, luggage, and the drama of being a runner in a strange land). She will probably offer more tips and tricks for travel so keep checking her out.
“Nowadays, they have more trouble packing hair dryers than baseball equipment.” – Bob Feller
Come on in darlings, and sit down. Tea? Hot chocolate? Huge amounts of doughnuts? Alright, it’s time to face the hard truth. When prepping for a continental move or extended travel, you’re going to have to leave most of your personal things behind and it’s time to start making some cuts.
No, no, come back. *pats couch beside her* This isn’t as harrowing experience as you seem to think, although it might be a bit surreal at times, but Aunty C. is here. There is no need to clutch your pearls, I promise.
Here’s the thing: you probably have a lot more stuff than you think you do. When you live day in and day out with furniture, books, clothes, appliances, computers, serving wear, towels, blankets, and everything else, you tend to stop thinking about it in terms of individual things and more as just the basic equipment that makes a household go. Which is of course exactly what it is, but when push comes to shove, you’d be surprised how little you can actually live on. You will be equally surprised how much stuff that leaves you to get rid of, store, or donate. Let’s start with the biggies:
True. Very True.
Books
Depending on who you are the volume of and attachment towards them may vary. At Chez Small Dog books are sacrosanct, and we have lots of them. Also, we don’t buy books casually, all the books in our library have been thoughtful, deliberate purchases as we refuse to clutter up precious bookcase space with untried tomes – that’s what libraries are for. The practical downside of this, though, is that none of our books are negotiable. Store.
Linen Closet
We have multiple sets of towels, sheets, and blankets. We may or may not take some of these things depending on what housing we get (Dear University, still waiting…) but if so it will be one set of sheets and one blanket and we will pick up anything else that we need there. Ditto for towels. We have a gorgeous quilt made by the sparkling Marie and her mother for our wedding and a pretty afghan my grandmother made for us that will go in storage. The cheap blankets we use for napping on the couch, cuddling during movies, or as throws will go to anyone who wants them, or the donate bin.
Movies/Music
I realize that we’ve moved on from that medieval notion of CDs but you may have some lying around. If they are dear to you, transfer them to your digital library and store the disks. If not, find someone who would like them and get them out of your way. J. and I buy movies like we buy books: deliberately. However our tastes in films is a bit more snobbish, we buy them very rarely and generally ones that will stand the test of time. Decide if you want to take any of your films with you and if so in what format – digital library, their individuals cases (which I don’t recommend at all), or a large multi-disk holder (which I do). Again, remember that wherever you go you will have things like libraries, film festivals, student discounts to movieplexes, and in a pinch Netflix to amuse you. Although if you’re going to a place with a thriving theatre and social scene (read: London) Aunty C. would be ashamed of your for staying inside and watching a film you’ve seen a dozen times on your laptop. Take a few movies for sick days, by all means, minions, but if that’s the extent of your entertainment while living abroad, I wash my hands of you.
Let's pare this lot down a bit, eh?
Jewelry
Most women and some men have a mix of good and cheap jewelry, and it’s time to separate the sheep from the goats. I have only a couple of long, chunky necklaces: I seldom wear them and they aren’t precious – they’ll be shipped off to my sister (Snickers benefits greatly from this move, let me tell you), while I have some very nice pieces that I will take with me. If you have truly precious sparklers, family heirlooms, or anything at all you’re not comfortable traveling with, secure it! Store it properly with Good People or in a safe deposit box, I really don’t recommend taking that sort of thing with you unless the move is permanent (and in your carry on bag, if not on your person!). I have a large, beautiful rosewood jewelry case that was a birthday gift from my parents – it’s being stored and I’m taking to London instead a small box J. got me in Korea. There’s enough room for my wedding rings, a few pairs of my favorite stud earrings, and a couple of pretty, shorter necklaces. Less is more when it comes to baubles, kittens. Also, be aware of the care and cost attached to your pretties: silver tarnishes, diamonds can pop out of their settings, and pearls require frequent wear to keep their lustre. Take only what you know will wear and can care for. Get rid of the cheap stuff (you can always buy more costume jewelry) and properly account for the good stuff.
Electronics
Make common sense decisions. That desktop computer isn’t fitting in your luggage, make arrangements to store it, or sell it (after having it professionally wiped of all personal information!). If you’re a smart cookie, which you are of course, you could trade it in for credit on a laptop that is move friendly or store credit for something else you may want. Do you have old phones that you have long since forgotten in your many upgrades? Give them to younger siblings (hi again, Snickers), friends, or recycle them properly – you can find drop boxes at most tech stores or their customer service people can help you. What about old mp3 players? If they are in good shape, sell or give them to someone you really like. Organize your music and entertainment libraries far in advance of your move. Make decisions about your bigger items (we’re going to sell our large TV to get some extra money out of it, but we’re keeping J.’s beloved Playstation). You’re going to have to store anything you keep, be sure that it’s something can withstand long storage periods, that won’t be obsolete by the time you get back (like certain televisions), and that – if leaving it with friends or family – that it will be properly taken care of.
There, chapter one of your primer is complete, and was it really so bad? If it was, sorry, we at Small Dog are all about tough love. Have some more chocolate. Next step, your closet.
“My spelling is Wobbly. It’s good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.” – A. A. Milne
Pumpkins, you know I try to blend the everyday with humor, toss in a pinch of cynicism, and baste it lovingly with hyperbole before serving it up to you, piping hot…but there are some things that cannot be sugar coated. I hate to break it to you if you didn’t already suspect it, or alternatively confirm your worst fears if you did: the kids are not alright.
"May I have the word again, please?" "Your word is 'cat.'"
At least, their spelling isn’t. I’m again convinced that autocorrect is killing our brains. Here’s a few of our most recent puzzles (from witness statements, appeals, emails, and letters) and our best guesses as to what they are supposed to mean:
hared = hard
vary = very
ad = and
mastak = mistake
whey = why
exspesholy/espetially = especially
roung = wrong
lugudge = luggage
situadion = situation
oll = all
agaon = again
Small Dog Syndrome 