“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
Things I really miss about my husband (all of the time, but particularly this week):
1. How buddy buddy we are in public and how sickeningly cute he is in private. One of my best memories of him is from the first year of our marriage. It was the middle of the night and he woke up for some reason and got out of bed which woke me as well. But thinking I was still asleep, he leaned over and kissed me on the nose. Just because.
2. We had a really great household system: I do laundry he does dishes. I hate dishes, loathe them with an intensity usually reserved for cockroaches and split pea soup. With him gone, I am reduced to doing my own dishes, which is a hateful nightly event.
3. How easy it was to talk to my best friend about my day and hear about his. We schedule Skype dates and email and chat regularly throughout the day, but it’s not as satisfying as our conversations during car ride home after work..
4. Cuddling. We are shameless cuddlers. We cuddle on the couch, going to sleep, watching movies, talking, you name it. The most satisfying feeling in the world is his arms around me, and not having it for months at at time makes me excessively grouchy.
5. Believe it or not, listening to or watching sports with him, it’s ridiculously funny to hear my normally calm, reserved guy randomly exploding with, “C’mon!” “He was in!” “Travel? TRAVEL?!”
6. His quiet steadiness. Sometimes I feel like the family tornado, constantly doing something, running, planning, doing until I burn out and collapse on the sofa. Which is usually when he steps in with a grin and calmly handles whatever it was that seemed so overwhelming a mere five minutes ago. No doubt this trait will feature more heavily when we finally decide to spawn.
7. Doing things with him. We are really good about indulging one another’s interests and likes. I bought him tickets to his favorite team for his birthday one year, even though I couldn’t care less about basketball. He returned the favor by taking me to the opera. I had Korean food for the first time with him, he went to England for the first time with me. We’re far more adventurous together than apart.
8. How helpful he is. Since he’s been gone it seems like the flat has decided to show it’s age and start to go to pieces. Cupboards have needed to be fixed, furnaces have needed tweaking, faucets refuse to shut off, oven handles have come undone…the list goes on. Margot’s charming gentleman caller (Wrench) has been an absolute wunderkind and helped out whenever he visits, but keeping up with a house is a full time job. Largely doing it by myself is rotten.
9. Dates. I have no problem going to movies or restaurants by myself, my alone time is valuable and relaxing to me, but there’s no question that dinner with him is ten times better than dinner without him.
10. His scent. His cologne, which I love, is not very powerful, but it lingers. It still haunts his side of the closet, which packs a powerful punch of nostalgia whenever I open it. I miss smelling it every day.
No doubt about it, minions, separation sucks. On the plus side, he’s coming to stay for a few weeks sometime in March or April. On the plusser side, less than six months and we’re done with school and on to the next adventure!