Tag: Humor

Humor, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XXXIII

“Cheers to the freakin’ weekend, I’ll drink to that…”
– Rhianna

Thank goodness for the end of the  week, muffins.  I’m tired and I want to watch Götterdämmerung tonight in my pajamas and a big football game tomorrow (we’re pancultural like that).  Also, I really should clean the house at some point because it’s getting unfit for human society.  Most importantly, I intend to nap with great enthusiasm.  Let me know what your plans for the weekend are, darlings, and here are you links!

I, for one, am grateful the corsets didn’t make it.

I’ve always wanted to go to Iceland (flying through the airport simply doesn’t count), and this photo log is not making my craving any easier.

As we move forward into this political season, I expect to see a lot more of this going on.  Brace yourselves.

Therefore, in the interest of increased meaningful cultural dialog, here’s an excellent explanatory piece as to just why the film mocking the Prophet Muhammed is as offensive as it is.  I enjoy learning about religions and have tried to learn about Islam, but this explained a few things in a really good way.  The more you know, kittens.

Current beauty craving.  Because there are some days where washing your hair is just going to have to wait until you get back from kickboxing class.

Other beauty craving.  The 90’s style dark lips (thankfully sans darker lip liner!) may not be my thing, but this is totally wearable.

Dr. Who is back (that shrieking you heard was me losing it)!  To that end, here’s a funny t-shirt for the lovers out there.

History Nerds!  This is amazing!

Most of us type it at least once a day, now here’s why.

The weekly sheep.

Family, Humor, Husband, PBS

Reason #498 Why I Love My Marriage

“I have witnessed and enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.”
– Mark Twain

PBS (my Great American Love) is in the middle of doing Wagner’s entire Ring Cycle on it’s Great Performances at the Met program, starting with an introductory program on the staging of Robert Lepage’s fantastical set for the Met’s production.  We’re loving it and staying up way too late to enjoy it.  And we would feel bad about listening to Wagner late at night except that our neighbors have been treating us to a  rather tone deaf rendition of Les Miserables for the better part of the week.   We’ll see your French suffering and raise you the fall of the German/Icelandic gods.

Of course, tonight is Die Walkure, so we had to prepare properly.  Naturally by watching this.

The Small Dog editorial team: mature, educated, cultured.

Humor

Where Have You Been?!

“What follows will be my book-the book of Catherine, called Little Bird or Birdy, daughter of Rollo and the lady Aislinn, sister to Thomas, Edward, and the abominable Robert, of the village of Stonebridge in the shire of Lincoln, in the country of England, in the hands of God. Begun this 19th day of September in the year of Our Lord 1290, the fourteenth year of my life. The skins are my father’s, left over from the household accounts, and the ink also. The writing I learned of my brother Edward, but the words are my own.

Picked off twenty-nine fleas today.”
– Catherine, Called Birdy Karen Cushman

Writing is hard, kittens.  Coming up with something to talk about that is engaging, interesting, clever (hopefully), and worth someone’s time to read is hard.  The reason I blog is to keep my hand in with writing until such a time as I can try and make it my full time career, but it is hard.  And I find that when I take breaks, or frankly get busy trying to get through the day job, it can be difficult to start up again.

Case in point.  Work got ridiculously busy a couple of weeks ago, to the point that I was staying late and even coming in early some morning to just get through my To Do list that day.  I had no free time to even think of things to write about.  Around about the same time a couple of things happened that made be extremely – well, not angry, let’s say terminally grouchy, and I made a conscious decision not to write for a few days because blogs are trick mediums.  You can spend hours clacking away at your keyboard only to hit publish and find out too late that you over shared something, or divulged something you did not really wish to.  Blogs, in my opinion and speaking strictly on behalf of Small Dog Enterprises, can be places of blowing off steam (as long as you tell a good story to go with it) but some people have a tendency to use it in lieu of therapy.  There’s nothing wrong with it, but I know it would be a really unhelpful and pointless thing for me to do.

So, I step back.  I take breaks.  I feel it’s right to do so.

But then I try to get back into the swing of things and feel so utterly stumped.  Writing requires practice, there are few geniuses at it, and even most of those require some forethought before they put pen to page.  I find when I get out of the habit of writing, just like exercising, or putting on my makeup, it can get easier to put it off longer and longer.

So down with laziness!  Things have returned to normal (as normal as they ever get here in Nowhereford, Noneofyourbusinesshire University PD), and my neglect of practice will end.  What have you been up to in the last couple of week, minions?

Humor, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XXXII (Heavy On the Pics)

Fridays are not ‘pants optional’.
– Nancy Cartwright

Better late than never, darlings!  Here are your links, quick and dirty.

Tom and Lorenzo get some well deserved kudos.

Here are the top fifty “Pictures of the Day” for 2012 as chosen by Twisted Sifter.

I wonder if this actually works.  Because this was a week of lethal irritability, kittens.  I could have gleefully stuffed a fist down more than one throat.  Luckily I’m sensible, mature, and much better behaved.  Drat.

J. found more Muppets goodness and insisted, insisted I share them with you.  The whole Small Dog clan loved you, minions!

Downton Abbey is inching closer.  Here’s the full promo, recently released to whet the appetites of ravenous devotees.

Teeth.  I can’t stress how important they are.

Good dog!

The weekly sheep is number nine.  Beware.

Humor, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XXXI

“I am somewhat exhausted; I wonder how a battery feels when it pours electricity into a non-conductor?”
― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventure Of The Dying Detective

Any week includes the following in a conversation with your best friend, “Wait, you’re having a torrid, clandestine co-worker affair with a nice Jewish boy?” must have been a good one.  And it has been, busy but good.  This is the same friend who once had a man ask her to be his mistress, for the record.  Apart from being an extraordinary friend and wonderful all around person, she is an excellent dinner guest – her stories are amazing.  Anyway, I’m fiercely glad it’s a long weekend, because good as it’s been, I’m ready for a break.  What are you doing next Monday?  Sound off in the comments.

Check this out, and then respond with your best skewers!  I expect some great zingers in the comments, minions.

What’s that, she-minions?  You’re having a bit of a blah day, and you need something scrumptious to look at.  We live to serve: behold!

Of course.

We had the musical Camelot on VHS when I was a kid (remember VHS?  Did I just out my age?), and though I recall being extremely irritated with several of the characters for their life choices, I loved the look of Vanessa Redgrave’s Guinevere.  I remember being extremely taken by her first knuckle ring and thinking how unusual and elegant I found it.  Alas that my fingers never grew into long aristocratic tapers, so I could never pull them off, but more lengthy she-minions are encouraged to try.

This mouthwatering recipe is brought to you courtesy of the ever lovely Janssen.

New TV seasons are starting up soon and frankly I could leave most of them.  But my guilty pleasure of Downton Abbey will be back before we know it.  Here’s a cheeky cheat sheet just in case you’ve gotten confused as to what’s going on.

Message in a bottle! (Sung to the tune of the Sting and the Police song of the same name)

Impossibly pretty people with impossible access to impossibly high end products lead us lesser life forms in search for the perfect red lipstick.  I only post this because I love red lipstick.  What?  It’s my blog, I’ll link what I want!

This is a horrible product  that would give me heart attacks galore.

The President responds to Clint Eastwood’s (bizarre, odd, discordant, rambling…) bit with the chair at the Republican National Convention.   Politics aside, Twitter burn!

Transporting livestock – get creative.

And speaking of, the weekly sheep.  You know, just being adorable.

Humor, Work

Backstory is Overrated

“You’re the Anne to my Mitt.”
“Huh?”
“You make me look better.  I’m not exactly a nice person.”
“Yes you are!”
“Darling, I just stabbed you with a fork.”
“…Yeah.  That’s true.”
– C. and J.

This is the first time I’ve gotten on WordPress in days, kittens.  It’s the first week of the term and the stress is unbelievable.  This year, instead of spacing the hiring, the start of the term, the various upgrades to university systems (and their inevitable collapses and IT breakdowns), the start of the football season, and the training of our new employees, we get the dubious pleasure of all the aforementioned at once.  Last night I bit the bullet and took drugs – and it was glorious – because I haven’t been sleeping, and when I did manage to doze off I was grinding my teeth.

So, this is just a little reminder that Aunty C. hasn’t forgotten you.  Small Dog Snark Inc. will be up and rolling again shortly.  In the meantime, what are you up to, darlings?

Humor, Linkstorm, Weekend

Friday Links XXX (Nearly There…)

“If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.”
– Noel Coward

Let’s not even talk about how my house is a disaster zone either, there’s only a small chance that I’ll get around to it this weekend.

I’m so close to dead, kittens, it’s not even funny.  The week before the new term starts is always dreadful, and this year has been no different.

Here’s your links.  We’ll talk later.

Tumblr of the week.

Confession, I have a seldom indulged love of rosewater.  I had a sweet milk drink at an Indian restaurant that had rosewater as a main ingredient the other day, and it was odd by delicious.  My favorite quirky perfume is Tokyo Milk’s Gin and Rosewater.  I used to have a rosewater face tonic that did magical things to complexion but was far too expensive to keep up.  I’m not nearly crafty enough to try this, but minions who are should report back after making this.

The only thing worse than badly intentioned clever people are well intentioned idiots.  See politics.  And also this dear little old lady…

I’ve been on a stationary kick lately, something about them seems unbelievably adult and finished.  A couple of friends of mine have personalized stationary and whenever I receive anything from them in the mail I’m impressed.  There is a look that comes with well chosen stationary that proclaims to the world, “Here is a person who has his/her act together.  Do not mess.”  Here are a few of the paper goods that have recently caught my eye.

I want this cat, purely for decorative purposes.

Trends might no longer be as all important as they once were in fashion.  Which is good news for me, because as much as I enjoy fashion, I’ve accepted that I will never wear a peplum, and the dark 90’s style lip is great but not for me, but I do love the equestrian style that’s cropping up.  Oh, but I’m poor.  Classics it is!

 

Sheep of the week.

Humor, Linkstorm, Wedding

Friday Links XXIX (Science, Sharks, and Sheep)

There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
~ Rod Schmidt

To the law school, take none alive!

Another week, another barbarian invasion.  After they’ve burned down the student center and looted the vending machines, normalcy should restore itself.  In any case, this weekend is going to be a calmer one without major projects (besides grocery shopping) and my brother’s birthday – Gio turns 20 and I feel old, coming to a theatre near you tomorrow.  Here are you links, ducklings, be sure to tell me what marvelous adventures you’re having so I can live vicariously through you.

A fabulous photo and essay blog by a beauty veteran.

I lectured you on European vs. American hot chocolate a while back and I’ve apparently drunk my own Kool-aid (to mix both metaphors and drinks, because it’s Friday) and want to try and make this the moment the weather changes.

Tumblr find of the week, let’s hear it for the girls.

I’ve been reading up about the universe lately, kittens, and quantum theories are my latest science nerd subject of study, but dying stars are pretty cool too, I guess.

The Olympics are over but the memories remain (and you don’t judge me that I got more excited over the Spice Girls than most of the events, do you?  No you don’t, kittens, it’s why I adore you!).

Speaking of the Olympics…yeah.  Looks about right.

Here’s an interesting article, could you go on a mirror fast?

Someday, after the zombie apocalypse (or global warming destroys us all, whichever comes first), when the alien archeologists come to study what remains of our civilization, they are going to think Shark Week was some sort of major religious festival, or something.  I don’t know a single person who isn’t obsessed with it.

I have been perusing this site for a while now, the galleries are just fantastic (I really like this one: not just dour faced pillars of morality!)

Ever noticed that some days waking up is harder than others?  The problem may be when you’re going to bed – apparently your body has very specific sleep cycles and if you wake up in the middle of one, your body will punish you the rest of the day.  But worry no more, here’s a way to figure out what times are best for you to wake up, depending on what times you fall asleep, and vice versa (minions should keep in mind that it takes an average of 14 minutes to doze off).  I’m really curious if this works, so try it and report back.

The weekly sheep.

Family, Humor

The Family Lexicon

“Unless you know the code, it has no meaning.”
― John Connolly, The Book of Lost Things

Last week’s post, and my family coming into town this week, got me thinking about some of the other quirks, inside jokes, and private definitions that make up my clan’s collective unconscious.

My mother has battled depression (tooth and nail) for most of her life.  It’s a nasty, insidious enemy that takes over in a big way, but thanks to improved treatments, it’s much more manageable than it was twenty years ago.  Now and then, in times of great stress or just because chemical levels get a bit off, things get harder for her.  The way the sibs, Dad, and I communicate this to one another by saying, “We’re in a dip.”  It’s code that means help out a bit more, give the benefit of the doubt, and love a little harder for the next few weeks.

Most of the time, we are model children in public (seriously, we’re the kind you brag about at dinner parties), but it would be a lie to say that we’re completely civilized.  In private we tend towards the ridiculous..  We have two dinnertime rules 1) don’t wait for the hostess to start eating, unless it’s a formal dinner or holiday, and 2) “No bayonetting at the table.”   I actually have no idea how this entered the lexicon, but I am willing to be money that some sibling was poking another with a stick at the time.  Our napkins may be on our laps, and we may know exactly what forks to use for fish, desert, and salads, but this veneer of gentility hides inner savagery.

Speaking of.  Whenever the kids act out one or both parents will threaten to “subject us to civilization!”

Speaking of further.  J. and I both like the computer game “Civilization,” probably because of innate Napoleonic tendencies towards global domination.  For those not in the know, it’s a nerd’s dream: you choose which historical leader you want to be, and try to take over the world, build world wonders, negotiate treaties – fun!  I find, however, that I tend towards military attempts and so J. coined the phrase, “killing people,” to refer towards gaming.  As in, “Pass the laptop, I think I’ll kill people for an hour before bedtime.”  Note: as psychotic as this sounds it’s not an indicator of unstable mental health, although using the term in an airport might make people around you look at you in alarm and leave you to an embarrassed explanation.  Avoid this.

What inside jokes or phrases do you minions have amongst your nearest and dearest?  Any good stories behind them you care to share with the coterie?