Tag: Humor

Friday Links

“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

I’m getting sick. I only get sick when I honestly can’t afford to – and I can’t. I’ve got assignments coming out of my ears and the first leg of a move coming up in five days. Immigration to-do lists are driving me mad. The basement that is our current headquarters is an absolute disaster, which twists me into knots of guilt but every time I try to tackle it, I just seem to make the mess bigger. We’re trying to copy and store everything we own electronically, which is an easy but highly time consuming task.

I have all kinds of blog posts I want to do – serious ones, goofy ones, tales of our adventures of upgrading our tech products after half a decade (at least!) of avoiding doing so, plans for a new camera, you name it. Alas, they all have to wait. In the meantime here are your links – gotta dash!

Yikes!

It’s nice to see a tasteful kind of luxury, with the just the bare necessities…(that is a sarcastic ellipsis).

Equal parts touching and sad.

Hot dog, all one needs is a cardboard box?! That’ll kill some major industries. Kidding, kidding. This is actually quite an interesting program.

Need to hard-core up your tea? I’ve got just the thing.

The last performance is literally days before I arrive in the country. The theatre gods are cruel. (Also I’m hoping for Kerry from Planes, Trains, and Plantagenets – which you should all be reading – to pick up the slack here, because I must experience this even vicariously).

I want to go to there. All the theres. Grab your passports, minions.

Clothes, their prices, their worth, and their impact have been a bit of a pet topic around here lately. Let’s add fuel to the fire with a glimpse of the price difference between the Vogues of 1913 and 2013. Hint: woof!

Destiny is biology? There’s a twist!

It’s something of a mantra around here to take pleasure in small things.

Friday Links (Scribbling Away Edition)

“Birthdays are nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.”
― Jo Brand

Marriage to J. has expanded my birthday wonderfully. Instead of lasting a single day I can sometimes span that sucker out for a week. For example last Saturday we went to pick up my present (a new iPod – since my last one was nearly a decade old. I’m absolutely flabbergasted by how much memory they have now compared to my dinosaur of a nano), and passing back through Nordstrom on the way to the car I saw the last item on my “To Buy Before Moving” list: high quality leather ballet flats on sale. Which have been ludicrously hard to find, hence their being the last entry on said list. And, because it was my birthday, J. told me to get both colors I wanted. Excellent. At some point this weekend I’ll take advantage of the extra perks corporate America gives you for just being born by using a restaurant’s birthday coupon as well. Some people hate getting older, I rather enjoy it.

In any case, I’ve got copy for a contributor piece due this even so here you go. Out the links come, lickety split!

I love bars for entertaining. Granted I go more for ice cream and sandwiches, but here’s a build-your-own-bar of the adult libations variety that might be fun for summer.

Puns? And history? Lead on!

Good idea. True story, I found one of my favorite novels in a tiny hotel in the Cinque Terre of Italy on vacation on the public bookshelf by the front desk, stocked by the leavings of previous guests. I read it nonstop for a day on the beach and hadn’t finished it but couldn’t bear to leave it behind, so I left the book I’d brought myself in exchange.

The winner of headline of the week is…

Late to the party with this one and don’t even care. Savvy, I’m disappointed not to have discovered this from you, it’s straight up your alley.

Public radio. Bad ass since…well, apparently now.

How do you speak? I have an indeterminate accent due to lifelong globe trotting.

So…basically he got caught? Right?

This man sounds like an absolute loon. Also, I really want to read that book. My Amazon.com wishlist is getting epic.

Great photos!

Friday Links (Almost 27 Edition)

“If you care about what you do and work hard at it, there isn’t anything you can’t do if you want to.”
― Jim Henson

Ain't no party like a Small Dog Party.
Ain’t no party like a Small Dog Party.

Still working away over here. That long weekend was just what I needed – unfortunately I feel like I need another one now. I’m a terrible ingrate.

Luckily this weekend is my birthday, and I’ll officially be in my late 20’s. Surely that means maturity and wisdom will be descending any day now…right?  Here are your links, and have a good weekend. Let me know what you’re up to!

Are your lives insufficiently shiny lately? Never fear. Also, who the hell swims in $75,000 diamonds?

I heartily approve. I’m hoping the trend continues towards women’s fashion as well. I honestly believe that the reason the clothing of yesteryear still appeals to us, aside from the fact that they used better quality materials than the vast majority of “fast fashion” clothes we have these days, is because the clothes fit the wearer. Instead of simply ordering everything in predetermined sizes, you would either make your own clothes or have clothes made for you, your shape, your size. There is nothing like individual tailoring to make a person look put together and even nice, high quality clothing doesn’t benefit you if it doesn’t fit you right. /rant

I’m afraid to share this because J. might insist on a road trip.

PBS for the win!

Dame Helen Mirren steps in.

So, can I blame the Jazz Age for the fact that my husband parcels the year into very distinct and separate sports seasons? It’s the equivalent of a liturgical calendar to the man!

It might be declasse, but I say rock on, Lady Canarvon. Those estates don’t pay for themselves anymore, now that serfs and farm mechanization have brought them down – the inconveniences of upstart peasants! In the words of another of Julian Fellowes characters, Lady Uckfield (from my favorite guilty pleasure novel Snobs), “Running a house like Broughton, or Feltham for that matter, is just slog once the gilt’s worn off. It’s paperwork and committees. It’s arguing with English Heritage inspectors who all hate you for living there and want to make everything as difficult for you as they possibly can. It’s pleading with government departments and economising on the heating. Those houses are fun to stay in. Even ‘London Ladies’ like that. But they’re hard, hard work to own.”

Is no food safe to eat!?

Stop perpetuating these lies!

Nifty.

For the occasional moment of crushing doubt.

Friday Links

I forced myself to put on real pants to avoid slothfulness as I’m doing a bit of work in the morning, and everybody knows pajama pants are the world’s greatest killer of productivity.
– C.

Terribly busy, sorry. Freelance projects to finish, dinner this evening with Angel and her husband who are back from South Korea and Hawaii, and I’ve got a fit in a shower at some point. Nothing but glamor happening over here, kittens. How are you weekends looking?

GOLDFISH CRACKERS. Sorry…did I just reveal an addiction?

Yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more! I’m just over a week away from 27…and I endorse this message.

In the dear dead PD days gone by, I became familiar with creepers. Or did I?

English is a language comprised entirely of exceptions rather than rules.

Nope.

Two please. Also, can we hear it for the girls? A couple of weeks ago a girl who invented an app to hide TV spoilers on Twitter and now this.

I love English, I love its history and the rule exceptions, and just how it sounds. But I am 100% in favor of introducing some of these – “grief bacon” in particular – for precision’s sake.

Love these houses, almost taken straight from Homer’s account of Penelope and Odysseus’ bed.

Ladies swag. Regency/Victorian/Edwardian style.

Friday Links (Fancy Dress Party Edition)

A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will accomplish with all the tools in a machine shop.
– Robert Hughes

Boy golly. I just got thrown another wrench, ducklings. Although this is largely a good wrench it is still necessary to recalibrate some plans – which is rather turning out to be my constant state of existence these days. Details about this good wrench to follow pending some scheduling and finalization. My we’ve gotten secretive here at Small Dog Headquarters!

Anyway, I’m editing more website copy and banging out a last minute press release and then reveling in a marathon phone call with Marie. Tomorrow Margot is throwing herself a going away party with dinner and drinks at a favorite restaurant and then going to see what Peregrine called “THE STUPID FLAPPER MOVIE, YAY!” Long pearl necklaces and dark makeup encouraged.

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This hotel. “I want to go to there.” American hotels make a big song and dance about their continental breakfasts – usually consisting of stale donuts, separated juices, and crumbly cereal. A real continental breakfast (on the actual European continent) is a magnificent thing by contrast. I can’t wait to have one again.

I may not be a fashion maven, but I am a beauty junkie. Okay, fine, I’m strictly speaking a skin care junkie. But if it came down to choosing between good clothes and flawless skin, I’d take the latter every single time. And a tube of really good red lipstick.

First Richard III and now this, all archeologists should probably report to British car parks immediately, quite possibly just in Leicester. (And of course I get Douglas Adams stuck in my head for the rest of the day. “The car park! What are you doing in the car park?” “Parking cars, what else, dumb dumb?”)

Here’s a tribute to one of the masters of stop motion animation. Which, since it produced Wallace and Gromit (among other great wonders) I will hear not a word against. That plus Jason and the Argonauts is another childhood favorite that everyone needs to see.

Know your insult.

Margot’s throwing a 20’s themed going away bash tomorrow: dinner, drinks, and The Great Gatsby. Tiffany designed several pieces of jewelry for the film and apparently there was an intense amount of security on set. Lots of it isn’t my favorite, but I admit that Daisy’s diamond headband is so unbelievably over the top that I kind of love it.

People. People! Like any other app or site it’s a tool. I don’t have Pinterest angst, but I can see how people can get it by forgetting that it’s a tool and thinking it’s a competition. (Which can sum up a lot of life and cultural problems, frankly.)

How cool.

Mothers’ Day

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.
-Spanish Proverb

My mother, as has been established, is certifiably awesome.

Some of my favorite memories with her have been the day trips we took together, when I finally got out of the twerpy teenager phase and could really appreciate them. When we lived in Belgium she and I went down to Versailles together overnight, just the two of us, just because. We also wandered through Antwerp, Ghent, and Brugges. In the UK we did Cambridge regularly. It was great fun and I didn’t appreciate them close to enough at the time.

But I’m going to make darn sure I do the same with my spawn. Those hours or days, just the two of us that she carved out just to be with me, we’re just extended “I Love Yous” with hyper impressive scenery.

Maman à Versailles.
Maman à Versailles.

So, just in case I didn’t say it enough then, I love you back, Mum.

Friday Links (Every Day I’m Hustlin’ Edition)

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
― Confucius

I have neglected you. In my defense I have been editing/tweaking website copy, knocking together an article for a Hawaiian magazine, and creating blogs and posts for DC startups. I’m literally working one end of the country to the other! That and the cold that plagued me for all of April decided to make a return visit, much to my irritation. Here are your links, tell me what you’re up to this weekend!

champagne
In honor of both Friday and that Jazz Age movie, you may have heard of it, that I can’t decide if I want to see in theatres or not.

 

Loved this short article from Elle. I’ve been thinking a lot about clothes the past year. We’ve invested in building Jeff’s new work wardrobe and I’ve been paring mine down to get rid of old, worn, or out of date pieces. I read a book that really made me rethink my clothing choices and have since been looking to build a wardrobe of high quality clothing that will last long, wear well, and age appropriately – which feels ridiculously difficult in an age of fast fashion to start, compounded by the fact that at my heart I am a jeans and t-shirts kind of girl. I’ve fought it, but there it is. I can do that or a little black dress, but precious little in between with aplomb. It’s a work in process.

I’m listening

It may be the packing, storing, shifting, and donating – it could definitely be the nearer and nearer move – but whatever the reason, I’ve got decor on the brain. And assuming that all of our funds will go to rent itself, decorating will probably have to be all imaginary, alas, and we’ll use crates for furniture. Which is where cute pieces like this come in.

This pinterest board exists. You’re welcome.

This week I used coding for the first time for a freelance project. It was laughably simple and small but boy I felt my face light up as it made sense. Then I read this article and tumbled straight back down a well of inadequacy.

Fascinating.

Indiana Jones meets the Wind in the Willows. I know everyone knows them as pests, but I always found it funny to come outside in the morning, when my family lived in the English country and see mounds of dirt that had sprung up overnight from moles tunneling away. The dog would go crazy trying to dig down into them.

Loved this. It’s important.

And the winner of headline of the week is

Fun for travelers and global enthusiasts a like!

*Snort. Yeah, I can see it.

Friday Links (Working Girl Edition)

“Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

(via)
(via)

Well beloved minions! It’s my first Friday as a totally self employed woman and do you know – it kinda rocks. I’m still busy beyond belief, I’m still scrambling around, but the projects I’m working on are fantastic, the experience is already leaps and bounds ahead of where I was, and I’m learning all sorts of new programs, ticks, and skills.

The pay is small, the hours irregular, and the projects all completely unrelated. It’s bloody incredible! I should have gone for full time freelancing years ago! I’ve got a couple of clients that I’m doing virtual assisting for (one of them none other than incredible and incredibly prolific Caitlin Kelly!) doing everything from research, to editing, to press releases, to social media, and now on to professional networking and branding. It’s a brilliant apprenticeship! Once I get all my current projects well handled, I’ll start sending out more pitches of my own and see where I can go.

Here are you links, kittens. Even in the midst of this sea of change you know I’d never forget your need for a little light Friday reading. Let me know what you’re up to this weekend.

In case you haven’t seen it.

Librarians are awesome.

Busy as I am, I know of no one who’s this desperate. Although frankly who knows what our space in London will be like so maybe I need to look into it.

This brings back some mighty fun memories. King Mendenbar for me, please, and Edward Cullen can take a flying leap for all I care. (And with that I’ve lost a significant percentage of my audience…remember this is a safe “team” space, everyone!)

I admit it, I am somewhat conflicted about many Disney films for these very reasons.

Visions of the future from the past.

This made the rounds across media a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t think I shared it anywhere. And it very much needs to be shared.

I was a good kid who didn’t get pregnant, do drugs, or generally mess up. You’re welcome, siblings. (More importantly you’re also welcome, parents.)

Here’s a great article about the role that dance played in women’s liberation in the 1920s – possibly my favorite decade.

One of The Girls works at Colonial Williamsburg, which means I get archeological gossip before it hits the presses (the delights of historical nerdiness!) so I’ve been sitting on this one for about a week. Which is morbidly hilarious because it’s long been established in the courts of historical gossip, to say nothing of the historical record, to be true, but now they have proof, alas for those who have dismissed it as slur and slander all these years! Being an adopted Virginia girl, we learned about the Starving Time in school, but I suspect it’s often left out of other history books. Suffice it to say, looking back, I really do marvel that the US ever materialized, the odds against it at every turn were astronomical.

Friday Links (Severely Run Down Edition)

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”
― David Mamet, Boston Marriage

stress-antistresskitThe good news: it’s not mono or strep throat. Yes, I got myself checked out this week because I’m still not over being sick. The bad news is that the doctor confirmed what I already knew, “There’s nothing really wrong except you’re badly in need of rest.” $35 copay for that advice. Blerg.

On the other hand, my dating approach to furniture sales is working! Sold my beloved exercise bike Harley yesterday, and someone is coming to check out the shelving unit we’ve used as a TV stand this afternoon. Tomorrow our mattress and boxspring will be hauled away. We hope. Please, universe, send our couches some suitors!

It’s also graduation day which means the population of people on campus (already in the multiple tens of thousands) has effectively doubled and everyone is getting in accidents, getting tickets, and getting in fistfights over parking spaces. The entire town is virtually shut down due to traffic and I haven’t actually been in my office since before one due to running errands. And I still have to pack up another car load of things for J. to haul to store away properly and get some freelance assignments done (why don’t people answer emails?!). As you can tell things are just a bit frantic over here so here are you links and let’s talk later, k thanks bye.

Fascinating.

Kind of a hilarious photo gallery. I find teenage determination to refuse to enjoy anything hysterically funny now, but I know I was just as bad a perpetrator as any of them.

As the lifelong human companion of a particularly valiant and devoted teddy bear (who incidentally linked up with me the day I was born and to this day sleeps on my bed and is transported in my carry-on luggage because I will not trust her to baggage claim – and regarding all of this I have no shame whatsoever) I heartily approve this Facebook post.

A very smart adult literacy campaign.

Ever wondered who makes the Queen’s headgear? Wonder no more.

Oops.

Semi-funny photo aside, it’s amazing to think about

Interesting article about confidence in general and women in particular (in response to that Dove ad that took over my Facebook page for a few days). Thoughts?

I am an unabashed Game of Thrones fan. Here’s a fun piece about creating the languages for the series – bet you didn’t know we’ve all be pronouncing Khaleesi wrong.

If ever I design my own house, I am definitely throwing in some hidden nooks and crannies.

I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major Theatre Geek

“Oh Frederic, can you not in the calm excellence of your wisdom reconcile it with your conscience to say something that will easy my father’s sorrow?”
“…What?”
“Can’t you cheer him up?”
– The Pirates of Penzance

Ah yeah, ladies, you want this.
Ah yeah, ladies, you want this.

Without doubt, one of the best things about working for a university with several renowned performing arts programs and groups, and the talent they manage to attract – is coupling all that with the sweet staff and faculty discount I get on tickets. I’ve seen at least one opera or musical and play every year I’ve lived here (The Magic Flute was painfully mediocre – although the witch trio was amazing, Die Fledermaus was one of my favorite comic performances ever, The Phantom of the Opera could have been mistaken for a Broadway or West End performance, Love’s Labour’s Lost – set in WWII France – was brilliant).

Today I bought my last tickets as a staff member: a summer performance of Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Pirates of Penzance (the movie version of which starring Kevin Kline and so delightfully, purposefully camp was a childhood favorite). It felt bittersweet tucking my last discounted ticket envelope into my bag.

Then I got an email about next year’s lineup for touring performers. John Lithgow, Audra McDonald, and Joshua Bell. As well as a Middle Eastern group performing an adaptation of Hamlet in Farsi, a marionette troupe, and some really great looking Shakespeare.

Bittersweet to just bitter, alas!

…But then I think about how I can go to performances at The Globe and in the West End…and I’m mollified.