Tag: Humor

Incendiary Saturday: Religion and Immigration

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
– Constitution of the United States of America

Two posts in one day, you lucky darlings. But the news of the Executive Order issued by President Trump banning access to the country from several (Islamic) countries has broken and rather consumed our day here at SDS headquarters. He’s not calling it a #MuslimBan (though General Flynn’s son is, for what that’s worth)…but it’s a ban on Muslims. You know how we can tell? Because President Trump also directed that priority for immigration should be given to people from the Middle East…who are Christian. But let’s set that aside for a moment.

I’m not going to go into the minutia of whether or not the President excluded other “problematic” countries from this ban because he has active or prospective business holdings in them.

I’m not going to speculate on how much ammunition this will give to terrorist groups, some of whom have already apparently used the EO in recruiting efforts. Or how this might affect my brother and countless others currently serving in the armed forces.

I’m not going to touch the fact that this EO, steeped in racial tensions and fearmongering, was issued on Holocaust Memorial day.

Instead, I want to talk about some personal background, some legal realities, and the question of motive.

To recap.

On my father’s side, his mother was the daughter of immigrants from Slovakia. They were Roman Catholic at a time when Catholics and immigrants from southern and eastern Europe were viewed as suspect and fundamentally Un-American. My grandmother married a WASP from New York and bore three children, one of whom is my father who served most of my life in the US Air Force. One of my brothers has followed him into service.

On my mother’s side, I am descended from religious converts who came from Scotland and elsewhere to the deserts of the American West to join in a small and somewhat persecuted religious movement–Mormonism. This movement had an extermination order issued against them as a group at one point and were eventually driven out of what then constituted the boundaries of the country. My mother descends from this religious minority, now considered one of the most conservative and patriotic subsections of the country. My dad later converted to this faith and this heritage. I’ve left the former, but carry the latter with me always.

That’s my immigrant and religious minority legacy. Why do I repeat this? Because I’m not special. Most Americans have some kind of story like this in their background, this intertwining of minority and immigrant stories goes right back to our founding myths and has been our day-to-day lived reality for the better part of three centuries. Cracking down on immigrants, especially when you are using religion as part of your reasoning is fundamentally counter intuitive to our national history and story.

Years later, I’m now an immigrant in a Western nation at this very moment. I followed all the laws to legally enter this country and work here, and I have the paperwork to prove it. That is how international immigration and laws work. I’m lucky. I’m white, educated, English speaking, but I’m still an immigrant. My life is here and it is dependent on the goodwill of two governments. If I boarded a plane in the US and arrived in London only to be detained at the border because the Prime Minister had decided that in defiance of laws and regulations in two countries, my right to entry (again, documented in two countries) was suddenly invalidated, I have no idea where I’d be. Catatonic in a corner perhaps. Propublica estimates that up to half a million people are potentially in this situation now. The Washington Post is reporting that the language of the recent executive order that has brought this mess about also applies to people with dual nationalities…aka…citizens of the US. Huffinton Post reports ditto for Green Card holders. Representatives of the government under which I currently live are also reporting that they could not access the US under this EO, which doesn’t make me overly optimistic for continued operational goodwill across borders.

Why do I bring all this up? Because, like me, we are talking about people who have already passed multitudes of tests and requirements to gain access to the country.

There a lot of genuinely necessary conversation and work to do to create a safe, viable immigration network in the 21st century world. But do you know what really is pissing me off? It’s that the basis for this EO is due to fears and anxieties concerning illegal immigration and religious backgrounds. People who have the paperwork to get into this country have, in many cases, already passed a vetting process far more grueling than anyone currently being considered for a position in Mr. Trump’s cabinet! And freedom of worship was one of the first things the Founding Fathers enshrined.

And so, people who voted for this–including some of you who told me that these kinds of actions or bans would never come to fruition: do not tell me that the problem is illegal immigration, and then turn around and start detaining or denying entry first to those who already legally live and work in the US, including citizens. Do not tell me you consider the constitution sacrosanct but then impose a religious litmus test on entry in violation of the Bill of Rights. Do not cite the 9/11 attacks or recent lone wolf actors as a basis for this ban and then apply it to countries who citizens didn’t participate in those atrocities.

You’re either delusional about your motives, or you’re lying.

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Spending Diary Vol. 4

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
-Seneca

After getting a bit sloppy last week, I decided to buckle down and organize more this week. I’m still adjusting to a new schedule and some of my anxiety habits are trying to creep in to muck with things like sleep and morning routines, but progress is being made. Again, food took up a lot of spend, but I feel like I have a much better handle on it this week, and was able to use food prep leftovers better.

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Sunday
I wasn’t feeling well after the march on Saturday so we had a slow day. We went to our local brunch joint, did a decent amount of grocery shopping (heavy on the cheap items like pasta), and then I did some packaging prep for leftovers to take to work tomorrow, plus some portioned green smoothie ingredients in freezer bags.
Brunch: £32.80
Groceries: £44.00
Amazon Prime (a monthly recurring cost): £6.25

Monday
Vexation! I packed both snacks and a lunch and was feeling smug…until the office microwave gave up the ghost spectacularly. Alas that my lunch was soup. I had to buy some food, but forewarned is forearmed, and I prepped salad mixes for future meals this week so as not to rely on the kitchen.
Travel card renewal: £33.00
Lunch: £9.60

Tuesday
Much better behaved today, except for one indulgence…
Coffee (cash): £2.90. Bad, C.!

Wednesday
Lunch with a friend in from out of town: £21.00

Thursday
My sleep had been out of wack for several days now (for no readily apparent reason besides groundless anxiety, which is annoying) and I came home feeling like I’d been smacked with a chair and very much not up for cooking. Indian takeaway order it is, planned to account for multiple meals.
Lunch (cash): £4.20
Snack (cash): £1.60
Dinner: £24.80

Friday
Breakfast (cash): £4.70

Saturday
Solo brunch, Jeff was catching up with some of his buddies and I took myself, a bunch of podcasts, and a book off to a local joint to munch and catch up on my reading. It was delightful!
Brunch: £16.40

Total: £201.25

Thursday Poll: Wants v. Needs

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
― Jackie Mason

Let’s have moment of radical honesty together. Following an earlier post, and in the interest of full disclosure, here’s a by-no-means comprehensive list of things I don’t have and shamelessly want. Some are silly, some are serious, some I clearly don’t need, but if money were no object, these were the things that first sprang to mind:

All debt paid off in an instant

A suddenly, fully furnished apartment

A new pair of high waisted jeans that don’t have holes in the knees

Always more lipstick

Over-the-knee boots

A fully outfitted kitchen

Multiple media subscriptions

A realistic path towards owning property

A TV

Houseplants

An iPad to make work on the go easier

A spa day

Gucci loafers (second hand of course)

A cleaning service

An immediately available annual travel budget

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Literally everything I took with me for a long weekend abroad once. 

But were I not on a shopping ban and suddenly had more spending money for the month, what would I get tomorrow if I had to prioritize? I gave myself a mental exercise and actually thought about this for a while: what do I feel like I actually need right now? I consulted my running lists of personal and home good wants before writing another list down:

A larger monthly payment towards student loans/credit cards. Eliminating these suckers would not just free up income, but reduce a lingering background stressor, and allow us to start saving more.

A monthly contribution towards NPR and PBS, given the current political climate. I classify this as a need, because I am very seriously feeling a need to contribute time and money to the causes I care about moving forward. Talk is cheap!

A stock pot for the purposes of more winter soups and the ability to make larger quantities of food during meal prep.

A new and better quality duvet for our bed. Winter ain’t coming any more, it’s here!

Possibly the unwripped jeans…but I have other trousers to wear so then again, probably not!

And…that’s it. I’m serious. What I want and what feel I need have next to no overlap at the moment. I have a place to live, means to get around, pretty hood health overall, and the ability to buy food. I’m up to date on my health appointments, a huge amount of quality media is available to me either free of charge or relatively cheap, and clothes on my back. Everything else would be nice to have but I’m either working towards it, I can get by with what I’ve got in the meantime, or I frankly don’t need it.

Which leads me to conclude, in spite of a good overall sense of how much I spend, I’ve underestimated how much of my life I’ve framed in terms of “wants.” It’s very easy to want things, it takes discipline to determine actual needs. And I’ve clearly been less disciplined than I’d like to admit.

If you made a list of needs, what would be the top three right now? What about what you want–and remember, this is a judgement free zone! 

Quick Check In

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
― Henry David Thoreau

In my 101/1001 list I have a number of goals that seem to fall into themes, and picking an overarching theme (“Money”) to write about publicly and focus on personally for a month has been a great way to jump start my creative energy towards some personal development. I’m on track to tick off a lot of these individual goals in January. Plus, it’s been fun! I’ve enjoyed putting together a series of posts on a single topic over a month tremendously. I’m thinking of trying to do this or similar projects often throughout year.

And so, SDS Nation, lend me your thoughts in the comments and let me know what you’ve liked about this project, didn’t like, or want to see more of moving forward on this and other topics. Health, style, more adventures in finance, what would you like to read and talk about here?

Money Lessons (and Others Learned) from 2016

“We become aware of the void as we fill it.”
― Antonio Porchia

Full disclaimer, this post is going to come across somewhat grim at times, but stick with me here. 2016 was one of our biggest earning years ever, but it also had some decent setbacks in it as well and reflecting over some lessons learned, I’m realizing why financial planning and accountability were such an important topic for me to focus on at the start of the new year: I’m starting to plan bigger.

For a long time the goals we were working towards had a specific timeline and time frame–graduating high school, graduating university, getting a first job, etc.. Our biggest goals were moving to London and start careers there, which we’ve done and are proud of, but even that was achievable in a specific (relatively short) time. Nothing on the future list is really short term any more. We’re thinking about the next thirty to forty years of our working lives, the pros and cons of buying property, whether or not we’re going to try to have kids, if we want to retire in this country or somewhere else…the big stuff.

Even though most people are already working on their Big Plans in some way, 2017 feels like a year where we’re starting to be much more intentional about it. And therefore, some of the biggest lessons learned from last year have been…

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Sh*t happens. From our landlady deciding to sell our relatively cheap apartment to deaths in the family, financial curveballs were thrown. We’re fortunate that we’re young, able to work, willing to work hard, and making enough to cope with hiccups. But being able to cope is not the same thing as assuming from the outset that hiccups and curveballs are coming and being prepared.

Sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off and sometimes plans fall through. Not to throw shade on parents, teachers, and any number of self-help gurus, but I no longer believe in the simple, “work hard and everything will work out” line. Not that this means I’m allowed to throw in any towels, the onus is still very much on me to put my all into everything I choose to do. But what I’ve learned is that sometimes, no matter how much work you put into something, it simply will not go the way you want. Projects fail, jobs don’t work out the way you hoped, people disappoint you, freelance gigs fall through, pitches die on the slushpile.

Related to this point, setbacks and failures are not critical. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m getting older and more wise, or just more practical, but failing at things no longer affects me the way it did in my school years and early 20s. Time was that a rejected pitch would sucker punch my confidence in a bad way. These days with experience and the wisdom of veteran friends, I know that an ignored pitch is not a crisis so much as a typical Tuesday.

That being said, what working hard and working through those typical Tuesdays does ensure is that opportunities keep coming. And even though some of those opportunities end in the slushpile, lots and lots and lots of other don’t! The successes come intermixed, not unadulterated.

Being busy is not being successful. If you are working round the clock and not any better off for it (in terms of your paycheck, health, balance, ambition, or growth) then what you’re experiencing is not success. It’s a quick route to burnout, which is no good because…

There typically is no big payoff, life just goes on. One of the most interesting aspects of the adult world for me was that it doesn’t stop. There is no summer vacation or end of term, there is no finish line or final project. There is no break until retirement, and for my generation even that is up in the air. Meaning that financial plans, career aspirations, skill development, and goals need to have a longer term view than they used to. See opening paragraph.

Being able to afford an indulgent night out with friends, a good apartment, the ability to go visit family in a crisis…those are small, everyday, but important victories that matter and mean we’re mostly on the right track.

Discussion time in the comments. What big lessons, financial or otherwise, did you take out of last year?

Weekend Links: The OK Ladies Now Let’s Get in Formation Edition

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

In case you missed it, the Womens March on Washington (and sister marches around the world, including the one I participated in in London) might have made some records. The coverage is still coming in and it’s amazing to see — more amazing to have participated in. You can see some my images here, but this is a story worth following and watching. To say nothing of joining in. Welcome to the Grab Back.

Oh yeah, and the US has a new president who doesn’t seem to be “pivoting” from his campaign persona in any way. Shock, surprise. I watched his inauguration because I’m a citizen and think it’s important to support the process of free government. The new First Lady looked absolutely lovely, and I thought it was gracious and correct for Secretary Clinton to show up in spite of how awful I expect it felt. The speech was Orwellian, but bang on from the tone of his campaign. The next day I laced up my shoes and hit the streets to make it clear that he was not elected with a mandate and I will be supporting the issues that I care about with my time, my money, and my voice. Because again, I think it’s important to support the process of free government. This is how it works.

Here are your links, kittens. Tell me what you got up to this weekend.

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I found this piece at Politico a very timely read. It opines that President Trump’s hostility towards the press may be a blessing in disguise. If the traditional lines of communication between the administration and the media are clipped, the press can and should (this writer argues) fan out to the myriad unofficial lines instead and take up the opportunity to do more and more extensive investigative reporting.

Also, what did the administration do on Day 2? Malign the press in the face of documented facts and figures, and talk a lot about himself in his “reach out” to the CIA.

Don’t let anyone say the Women’s March doesn’t matter. 2.9 million participants is not a “tantrum.”

An interesting piece on the physical logistics of changing over an administration.

An important reminder about some of the realities of race and privilege, especially when it comes to assembly. I for one, know I can do better and I intend to.

This SNL from Asiz Ansari was great and nicely nuanced against hysteria. We’ll be fine and the people ultimately set the tone for change, and if yesterday is any indication…

Shut up and take my money.

A bit more fashion levity and some street style.

STOP. I swear every time I read an article like this, my heart breaks a little. I know there are more important immediate issues, such as the civilian lives in the crosshairs right now, but this hateful and deliberate dismantling of human history is also hideous

Album of the week: Radiohead, A Moon Shaped Pool

Spending Diary, Vol. 3

“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
― Françoise Sagan

This was a good week personally but a bit sloppy financially. I started a great new gig contract, and worked towards an amazing opportunity with a magazine that hopefully will pan out soon. Fingers crossed! I had another big (planned) purchase this week and so planned to use the results of my kitchen audit to keep grocery shopping to a minimum in order to use food items we already had in the house as the basis of most of our at home meals.

A little planning goes a long way for me and disruptions to my schedule, even welcome ones like starting a new client contract, can throw me off. I did a decent amount of meal prep, but wasn’t as organized overall as I should have been and so even though I cooked plenty, I didn’t pre-package as I should have. Getting out the door in the morning therefore involved a couple of extra steps, which were all too easy to discard. And now that I’m in a client office all day and coming home later, my willpower to be productive in the evening has been a bit…lacking.  I ended up using over a quarter of my monthly cash allowance on food on the go–definitely one of my Achilles heels.

Therefore this weekend we’re both of us doing some shopping and prep together to do better next week! But first, I’m eating doughnuts following the Womens March in London.

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Sunday
We were naughty and decided to grab Indian takeaway, but in order to justify it, we switched up our normal order to ensure we each got at least three meals each out of our spend, which took care of several dinners this week.
Food: £30.00

Monday
Months ago I signed up for early access to Hamilton tickets, which is opening in London at the end of this year, and buying opened up today. Our show date is months and months away, so there’s no quick emotional payoff, but I managed to score non-nosebleed seats for a fairly reasonable price!
Travel card renewal: £33.00
Hamilton tickets: £115.00
Coffee (cash): £2.75
Quick grocery run (cash): £6.00

Tuesday
Alas for an absent mind and a need for toiletries. We’d made it as long as we could using up our travel sized contact solution bottle, but had run out and so a Boots run was needed.
Coffee (because I left mine at on the counter leaving the house, cash): £2.90
Contact solution and facial cleansing wipes: £14.30

Wednesday
This was the first of a stretch of days where I really failed to get my ducks in a row.
Coffee again (cash): £2.90
Lunch (cash): £9.60

Thursday
I got a better start to the day but had to do another Boots run when we realized we were out of yet more things in the bathroom, like cotton buds.
Boots run for toiletries: £18.50
Lunch: £4.20

Friday
Breakfast (cash): £4.80
Lunch: £4.20
Snack: £.80
Pharmacy shop for, ahem, feminine articles: £3.50
Date night: £23.00

Saturday
Doughnuts to recharge after the Womens March in London: £30.00

Total: £301.25

Public Life, Publicity, and a Prediction

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

I wished President Obama well when he was inaugurated, I liked and supported a majority of his policies, and I have tremendous respect for the respect in turn that he seemed to have for his office in terms of his temperament and behavior. I believe he would have been justified many times in his presidency in lashing out in anger against the blatant disrespect and obstructionism thrown in his face, and I admire him for choosing not to do so. I understand that he was keen to avoid negative racial stereotypes (such as being an “angry black man”) but even in that, I admire his understanding that what the president does sets a precedence. He seemed very keen to always be in control of his self presentation as an aspect of his office.

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image via Wikipedia

If nothing else, I believe a lesson learned for all the citizenry from this political cycle is that a number of expectations Americans have for their political leaders are not necessarily enshrined in law, but rather in precedent and convention. For example, it is correct that the president is not required by law to divest his business interests, but I think it’s fair to say that it’s expected that a man or woman in that position would. That’s what precedent and convention say s/he should do. For all we whine and complain about politicians, there are some age old notions and assumptions that we as a culture cling to about how people in public life ought to behave. It’s the difference between being a public person and being a celebrity and why sex scandals can bring down the one and jumpstart a Kardashian style family empire in the other. I happen to like the distinction because I believe fundamentally that entertainment and politics should be different and want my leaders to follow a degree of convention that I do not expect from celebrities and entertainers.

Of course, that is not the world we are living in. Information and entertainment have become dangerously entwined. But what I find amazing about this in the current moment is that one of the architects of this media landscape…is Donald Trump himself. He was an early reality TV star, a genre that purposefully blurs the line between fact and fiction. He parlayed brand into entertainment, entertainment to media prominence, prominence to the illusion of being a reputable commentator, commentator to candidate, and now elected office.

President Trump is a celebrity first and foremost. This is what has allowed him to survive scandals and kerfuffles that would have brought down a traditional politician in his same shoes. Several supporters hold this up as a virtue, that he cannot be unmade by violations of convention that would taint a more conventional candidate, but I see fundamental danger in it. Celebrities are expected to get ratings, get people talking about them, and get rich off their brand. Elected officials are expected to govern. I don’t trust that he’s made this distinction in his own mind between being media famous and being politically powerful.

My personal prediction is that President Trump will not last a full term of office. I think that impeachment due to his numerous existing and potential future conflicts of interest is very likely. I also think that it’s very likely that the constraints of the office and government bureaucracy (slow by design) may prove frustrating to an obviously impatient man and he may simply quit. His prominence rose out of his own propagation of false news, something that I believe very likely to be turned against him during his term of office–something he has already (ironically, in my opinion) started complaining of. In short, I think his inability to accept the conventions of behavior and action that American’s have historically expected of their leaders may undo him. I think that people may have been willing to accept a media personality on the trail, but will expect a more conventional leader in office…and I don’t think he has it in him. It’s not what’s made him “successful,” and his behavior thus far doesn’t lead me to believe he will make the transition.

Of course, I may be proven wrong and he will turn out great, or at the very least his government will keep a rein on him. I’d actually love to proven wrong and that a man who thus far has seemed uniquely temperamentally unfit, professionally unqualified, and borderline hilariously thin skinned will do a good job. I’ll be the first to put up my hand and declare, “Yep, I got this one way off!” But I doubt it.

Lend me your thoughts or predictions, kittens.

Quick Poll: Reframing Your Narrative

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
― Alexander Graham Bell

This week’s query, kittens, is whether time and distance has ever changed your mind about a financial circumstance or event? Was losing a job ever a blessing in disguise, or did a promotion or a move turn out to be a kick in the teeth?

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Perspective is everything. 

One of the biggest changes of mind I’ve had to make is about my experience with the Great Recession. For a long time I’ve looked on this global circumstance as a personal setback that ever since has had a delaying effect on my career goals and work life. I’ve resented it and oft played the “what if” game, dreaming of what might be different today if I didn’t “get stuck” at the job I had then because I wanted and needed financial stability.

When the truth is that not only was I lucky enough to have a job during that time, I made enough to be the breadwinner while my partner finished both an undergrad and a graduate degree abroad, which in turn is what enabled us to move to the UK. Seen through this much more long term and less childish lens, far from being a setback, my experience was that that dead end job actually turned out to be a launchpad.

Your turn.