“However did you get your couches in? Doesn’t seem like there’d be enough room on the walkway.”
“Val and his friends lifted it over the railing.”
“Oh, very nice. Man-ual labor.”
-C. and Venice
J. and I enlisted Scotticus and my godbrother Bear today (many thanks, gentlemen) for the picking up, maneuvering, and dropping off of our sofa and loveseat today. Huzzah, they’re in! AND I got my landlord (who is probably heartily sick of me at this point, what will all my calls, questions, and obsequious permission asking) to give me the go ahead to paint. Et voila, I have a major weekend project! I’m probably biting off way more than I can chew, but that sort of thinking goes with the whole, “Let’s get married,” theme.
Mattress comes tomorrow, and I should be ready to start bringing stuff in this weekend. And apart from the total lack of pots, pans, towels, tools, and various other things one get from registering for gifts (all of which are pretty necessary so living without them will be an adventure) I’ll be set.
Mom approved the wedding invitations so basically I’m through planning this Carroll-esque caucus race! Hurrah!
Mondays are a particular trial. It’s not the going back to work that I mind so much as the atrophy of my brain that seems to occur on weekends that I’m forced to be reconciled with on Monday. I trip, break and lose things, and do injury to myself on Mondays more than any other day of the week! One such day I managed to trip while walking down the stairs, luckily managing to land catlike on my feet, much to J.’s amusement, but I still somehow contrived to drop all of the mail that afternoon, give myself two papercuts, and trip coming up some stairs in the office. Today has been free of gravitational catastrophe, but I’ve screwed up the same hiring paperwork three times in a row and stabbed myself with a letter opener. I’m currently trying to see if we can move our sofas into our new apartment tonight…but now I’m wondering if it’s wise to consider moving heavy furniture…
While there is no known cure for this rotting of the soul, there are several ways to retard the symptoms. Some of the most popular of these techniques include: inventing sports to be played with office supplies, faking long “important” conversations with coworkers the topic of which suspiciously changes to something rather trivial when the boss leaves the area, or surfing the internet until you feel your brain turning to putty between your ears. Personally I blog and read books online, although Hennessy and Daae to chat it up a lot when we get the chance! Another tactic is to strategically let my work pile up in the morning so I have something to do all afternoon, while still appearing to be busy will the boring office maintenance stuff I have to get done every day.
So all this snow on the mountains? Yeah, that has got to go. And further shenanigans with the temperature will not be tolerated, none of this 60 degree weather one day and 20-something degree weather the next. Icy sidewalks, parking lots, stairways, ramps, and surfaces in general are strictly verboten forthwith. Boots are again to be considered a fashionable accessory and not a survival necessity, as are scarves, gloves, and hats. Snow and hail must turn in their resignation, we have decided to move in a new direction, namely “spring showers.” Sunshine will be mandatory at least four days a week, clouds are permissable if they are of the fluffy white, breezy, or slighly-gray-but-only-passing-through varieties. Leaves must report for duty on trees immediately! Repeat immediately! Flowers to follow shortly thereafter. Sweaters are to be of the lightweight sort, with an optional jacket, and not layers deep of heavy wool. Thermometers will hover steadily between 70-85 degrees F. An aura of general pleasantness and “springness” will pervade the air. 
It’s a common set up: pretend to be interested in something someone is selling, volunteer to send a money order to lock in the deal, send a fake check set up to electronically tap into your victim’s bank account when they try to cash it, steal every penny they have. You wouldn’t believe how many fraud and theft reports I’ve taken for exactly the same scenario. Nevertheless, I send out my normal formal response most of these inquiries with my landlord’s information and telling the writer to contact him for more information. “University Police, Investigations Secretary” is written right beneath my name in my electronic signature. Still they ask me to send money on to their starving relatives in Uganda, China, and Bolivia! 
Small Dog Syndrome 
