Survival of the Fittest

“I am  never watching The Bachelor again!”
“Didn’t you tell me you said that a couple years ago?”
“This time I mean it!”
-Hennessy and C.

I swear, if I have to hear about The Bachelor’s choice from one more co-worker, friend, or news anchor I may spontaneously combust.  I’ve never watched the show, although Kiri got most of our flatmates hooked on it when we lived together, so perhaps I’m not one to judge…but from my limited expose I venture to postulate it’s one of the sluttiest shows on TV.  It’s in league with Rock of Love in which strippers compete for the fondling–I mean love!–of a fickle rockstar, For the Love of Ray J in which hoes compete for the fondling–I mean love!–of a mediocre R&B star, and any number of MTV’s dating shows.  The crucial difference seems to be that The Bachelor tries to class things up with roses and champagne in an effort to hide the fact that one guy is poly-dating, and everyone is OK with this!

Don't worry, I judge myself.  Doesn't stop me, though...
Don't worry, I judge myself. Doesn't stop me, though...

I like my guilty TV to be absolutely upfront about its triviality.  Hence my guiltiest pleasure, America’s Next Top Model, which starts up its new season tonight.  Peregrine, Mrs. Cakes, J., and pretty much everyone I know either turn a blind eye to my addiction or mock it outright, but it doesn’t deter me.  Tyra Banks’ biggest fan is Tyra Banks and I’m fairly positive she’s insane, I hate the fact that Miss J has better legs than I do, and listening to all those dumber-than-air girls invent words, slaughter grammar, and generally live down to all stereotypes might or might not cause people to lose brain function…in other words it has absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.  Love it!

I guess I have no problem with people making an idiot of themselves on TV, but I do object to people who use it as a dating medium.  If you can’t find love the normal way are are forced to resort to such desperate measures, I figure it might just be Nature’s way of weeding out the undesirables.  Reality TV is destroying good Darwinian principles!

7 thoughts on “Survival of the Fittest”

  1. Every time I sat down to check out the new (ahem) ‘cycle’ of ANTM I could feel a little sliver of my male dignity slowly being stripped away in favor of cheap entertainment.

    Totally worth it!

  2. OMG! Jason is suuuuuuuuuuch a manwhore! Melissa deserves so much better!!!!!

    I’m kidding. C., I’m kidding.

  3. I swear I spent entire days of my precious young life, glued to marathon viewings of Project Runway. At least I can say I was watching creative genius…but wait…no, no I can’t.

  4. There’s a reason why I don’t watch any of these game show type reality shows. I can’t absolve myself of any guilt when it comes to reality TV though. I know you know how much I have addicted J. to Discovery Channel and that is technically “reality TV”.

  5. How rude. I heart ANTM. I just don’t have a cable connection right now, so I sigh when I hear it mentioned. It’s not judging, it’s pining.

    1. Oh but you once gave me a talking to about it, sister-mine! You lectured me on the triviality of ANTM compared to Project Runway 😉

  6. My roommates were watching the Bachelor as I was cooking dinner the other night… I’m pretty sure that this show is the source from which all the girls I’ve ever DTR’d with got their phraseology. I was pretty put off. haha

    Oh, and why were my roommates watching this show??? … I think I’ve told you about this before…

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