Tag: Klutziness


“I am the only person I know who can miss the ground with both feet.  While walking!”
– C.

At 4:32:05, yesterday afternoon, I tripped while carrying the laundry bags to the car to drop them off at the cleaners.

At 4:32:05:02, suddenly the earth dropped away.  That’s the only explanation.  I was walking merrily along, and then somehow neither of my feet managed to touch bottom.

At 4:32:05:22, the inexorable tug of gravity made its presence known.

At 4:32:05:46, due to the many years of experience I’ve had with this sort of thing, my only working thought was, “Oh, bother.”

At 4:32:05:59, also due to experience, I tried to twist my body such that I would land squarely on my knees without skidding (not that they mind.  As far as I can tell, my knees are used to this sort of abuse).

At 4:32:05:87, with impact approaching, I suddenly realized I was wearing my best trousers.

At 4:32:05:96, thunk!

At 4:32:06:63, I managed to scramble up, assure various passing persons that the only thing damaged is my dignity, and brush myself off when…

At 4:32:06:94, it became very clear that the right knee of my trousers had been shredded.


Caution, Part Deux

Good grief, I am such a spaz!”

klutz_logoMondays are a particular trial.  It’s not the going back to work that I mind so much as the atrophy of my brain that seems to occur on weekends that I’m forced to be reconciled with on Monday.  I trip, break and lose things, and do injury to myself on Mondays more than any other day of the week!  One such day I managed to trip while walking down the stairs, luckily managing to land catlike on my feet, much to J.’s amusement, but I still somehow contrived to drop all of the mail that afternoon, give myself two papercuts, and trip coming up some stairs in the office.  Today has been free of gravitational catastrophe, but I’ve screwed up the same hiring paperwork three times in a row and stabbed myself with a letter opener.  I’m currently trying to see if we can move our sofas into our new apartment tonight…but now I’m wondering if it’s wise to consider moving heavy furniture…