Tag: Holidays

Family, Holidays, Humor

Thanksgiving

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
― Jon Stewart

Going home for the holidays is always so restful for me – sure a tiff or two might crop up, but they’re rare, usually solved with a tussle or a game, and the food more than makes up for it. Besides my house is the only place where the following conversation could take place and everyone would think it was normal:

Me, to Buddy: “You needed a fez for that.”
Buddy: “I know, but I couldn’t find one.”
Dad: “What do you mean?  I have a fez.”
Buddy (incensed): “How did I not know this!”
Dad (matter-of-factly): “Not my fault.  You have never asked me if I had a fez.”

A typical Autumn evening with the Small Dog clan.

This image of my brothers might provide some visual clarity to our collective mental state.

This year the turkey surprised us all by finishing a full two hours ahead of schedule (seriously, we’re baffled, we’ve only ever experienced the opposite) and we had to scramble and mobilize all the troops to get things finished and the table set for our feast.  But all was well!

It is not possible that you could sense this through the screen, kittens, but these are the two best pies in creation – both recipes family secrets – and I will fight anyone who says differently.

These pies were the source of much hilarity.  You see, that pie on the right is my mother’s rightly famous one, and she has always had very particular ideas about how it should be done.  Namely, there is normally a piece of dough fashioned in the shape of autumn leaves that it left on top and bakes nicely into the pumpkin filling (made, traditionally, from the remains of our Halloween jack-o’lanterns).  The last time we were there for Thanksgiving my mother, upon realizing that she had popped the pie in the oven without it’s customary finishing leaf, whipped up a special batch of dough just to put the darn thing on.  This year I pointed out that the leaf was missing and she tossed her head with a magnificent, “Whatever!”

The road to our land, loving referred to as The Estate.

My father’s land is also the source of some hilarity for me, but perhaps I’ll save that for another post.  It’s his pride and joy.  When he first bought it, the handful of acres that weren’t forest were covered in brush taller than I was at the time.  Now he has several cleared acres that support his berry bushes, a small orchard in the making, and plans for a pond.  He was born in the wrong century, he was meant to be a gentleman farmer.

Fun fact about our land, American Founding Father Patrick Henry had his first job as a lawyer in our town, the road he walked to get to work runs across our property, and won his first election to represent the county locally.  Also, the parents of J. Sargeant Reynolds (of the aluminum fame) are supposedly buried somewhere on our property as well, though we don’t have a lot of proof for that one.  There are an amazing amount of old houses (with fantastic estate names) and many of the families have been in the area for generations (and a handful for centuries) so many properties have private family cemeteries on them – but alas for the Reynolds, they’ll only be discovered if we ever break ground for a house or something.

Dad’s latest project is bee-keeping. And those little guys are prolific, we have several pounds of wild honey stored in the basement.

That J. and I have puppy lust is already well documented, but he compounded the problem by spending the entire vacation playing with Mika, supplanting all of us in her affections by tummy rubs, sneaking her treats, and taking her for runs.  The man needs a dog.  We also went out to play with Maxi and Niney, the dogs on our property to keep it deer and bear free.  Oh, and a bear apparently lives in a copse behind a house just up the street from my parents and likes to set all the neighborhood pets off at night by wandering around.

One of the dogs frolicking.

A week of doing next to nothing means that in the eternal balance of things, I’m now absolutely swamped at work.  The continued lack of a replacement for Officer Lampost really is affecting my ability to work as effectively as I would like (which is a much less whiny way of saying that I had a twenty minute lunch break on Monday and Tuesday, and still had to stay after a full two hours on the latter to just get through my list of things to do).  Vacation is over, friends, and no mistake!  Luckily, I’m working on a few projects I’m really interested in and my work seems to be impressing several of my bosses, so onward towards Christmas, minions.

Holidays, Humor

So Close!

“I need to ask you to come over and clean my house,” Chief exclaimed when he saw my outfit today.
“Sir?”
“You’re supposed to be a cleaner, right?  Or a housekeeper?”
Quoth I, cheerfully but not without a bit of spice, “I am the exact opposite of a housekeeper.”

J. managed to use that tree to “Popeye” my forearm a bit. We are neither of us photographers.
Holidays, Humor

Campus Costumes

“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”
~Author Unknown

People really get into the spirit of Halloween on our humble campus, and what’s really valued is creativity.  No “sexy Mrs. Potato Heads” here if you please, we want to see you come up with something clever!  And I fail almost every time to remember my camera.  Some bloggers live to Instagram, kittens, and I struggle with not dropping smartphones.  C’est la vie.

So far I’ve seen:

Ash Ketchem and Pikachu (of Pokemon fame), couples costume
The Doctor (as interpreted by David Tennant)
Zombies, as a group
A spider
Robin Hood
A wizard
Snow White
A bumblebee
Far too many girls in cat ears with whiskers drawn on their face
Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz
Minnie Mouse
At least three people with name tags reading “Maybe”
A Lego brick

Dressing up is something I still love and plan on enjoying until age and infirmity take me.  This year I’m Rosie the Riveter.  We’ll see if we get around to documenting it.  We can do it!

Holidays, Humor, Work

Guns, Booze, and Steel

“An inherent cultural passion for things that went boom, perhaps.”
– Louis McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campaign

I’m at work today kittens, this is one of our busiest days of the year on account of the parades, local events, and stadium fireworks show.

If we judge by history, at least one police officer will be hit by a car this evening – due to the fact that people turn into jerks when told they can’t jump the line to get out of the parking lot ahead of the fifteen thousand other cars.  Seventeen people will try to bring their firearms into the stadium and throw a fit when they are turned away.  Five thousand mothers will try to bring outside food in and their children will throw fits when we tell them they cannot.  Four fistfights will breakout twixt fans of different sports team persuasions.  Twenty five people will be arrest for public intoxication.  Three small fire will be started from poorly monitored firecrackers.

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Actually, I love July 4th.  I like picnics with friends, getting out in the summer sun, the local fairs and parades that spring up everywhere, getting to a park early to claim a comfy spot of grass with blankets, and watching fireworks.  But I’d be lying if I said that July 4th didn’t bring out some unfortunate behavior that I wish didn’t get slathered with a veneer of patriotism.  Drunk and disorderly is still drunk and disorderly, and slurring, “You carn arressssst muh, ‘s a frey country!” is not a legal defense.

On a more practical note, be careful with the fireworks, kittens.  Half the country is already on fire.

Family, Fashion, Friends, Holidays

Hi Again

“New Year’s Day – now is the accepted time to make your annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
– Mark Twain

Hello and Happy New Year, kittens!  I have missed our little chats, and I’m sure I should be sorry for neglecting you, but the truth is, I’m not.  Not in the slightest.  I spent nearly two weeks in Virginia with all my siblings (for once!), my parents, Marie and her husband (who spent Christmas with us, aren’t I lucky?), and my husband.  Marie took pictures, and thank goodness because I never remember to, go check them out.  There was shameless amounts of cuddling, lots of games, and way too much food.  Perfect.

The boys went shooting, J. and I spent a couple of days helping Dad clear the land (our “estate” is looking more impressive all the time) and playing with the dogs, and the girls baked up a storm.  We watched movies, slept late, and dined when we damn well pleased.  The Christmas Eve roast was perfect, as were the pies.  J. was conscripted for some heavy labor in moving some furniture around for my parents, whose collection of Asian antiques still is Not Quite Right, even after two years of shuffling it all around (to say nothing of that tiny little earthquake a while back), and helping Dad hang the two deer he and Buddy bagged from the rafters of the garage.  It was lovely.

On New Year’s Day Gio drove us to D.C. and we had a lovely evening out on the town with Peregrine, who graciously put us up for the night and took us to the airport the next morning.  Seeing her always does me good.  She’s a city girl extraordinaire who took us to one of José Andrés’ amazing restaurants, who she claimed spiritually “communes with Brussels sprouts,” and as usual, she was right.  If ever you get the pleasure of dining there, try them roasted.  Trust me.

Now I’m back at home, again husbandless but still happy.  You know it’s been a good vacation when going back to work after a day spent in the airports doesn’t seem entirely like drudgery. I have a refrigerator to stock, friends to see, and things to do.  My life, for all that I complain about it is very, very good and I’m lucky to have it.

So, here’s to good holidays, good friends, good times, and hopefully a good year in 2012.  And here’s to you, ducklings.  Better, cleverer, funnier, lovelier minions there never were.  Small Dog and Co. wish you all the best.  Let’s keep up the adventures in 2012.

Holidays, Humor

Short. Out.

“I’ve got the brain of a four year old.  I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.”
– Groucho Marx

Apparently, without my knowledge, consent, or approbation, my brain has thrown up its metaphorical hands and decided it’s going on holiday now, the next five days be damned.

My Christmas shopping is done, the presents are (mostly) wrapped, many of them have gone out in the mail, the place card holders for Pieter and Sadie’s wedding are done, and the list of things for her bacherlorette party is done.  “Therefore,” my brain thought decisively to itself, “I am done.  There is nothing else that I am taking care of until January, and you can’t make me!”

The symptoms of this revolt have been acute and worrying.  I tried to do some last minute shopping in Barnes and Nobel the other day when I suddenly felt tired.  Spying one of the rarely vacant armchairs was unoccupied, I sat down for a second.  Five minutes later I woke up (gasping and clutching my purse in belated panic), but unscathed.

Yesterday I got a quick lunch with a co-worker, which I couldn’t finish so I decided to save in the department fridge for lunch today.  This morning, I woke up thinking I’d forgotten to pack a lunch the night before and dashed around the kitchen trying to throw things together at the last moment.  Only to get to work and remember that I have a lunch date with Savvy today.  So I have a carton of Chinese food and a tupperware of chicken soup sitting pretty in the break room that will just have to come back home with me today.

I’ve lost my keys in my own hand and my glasses on my head.  I’ve gone to the library to return things, only to to realize I’ve left the books on the kitchen table.  I walk into rooms and completely space why I entered them in the first place.

It’s grim, possums.  A vacation is clearly required.  Two more days of work, one wedding, and I can check out.  In the meantime, is anyone else sliding into a holiday coma, or have I just well and truly shorted out?

 

Family, Friends, Holidays, Humor, Shopping

Fantasy Shopping Continues

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.  Men invade another country.  It’s a whole different way of thinking.”
~Elayne Boosler

Shopping for men is rough, kittens, and believe me, I know.  Most of my friends growing up were boys, my major was mostly made up of men, I preferred hanging out with J.’s roommates to my own when we were dating, the list goes on.  I have two brothers and one sister, two godbrothers and one godsister, three brothers-in-law and two sisters-in-law (not counting respective spouses)… the girls are outnumbered.  But that’s okay, because most of the ladies I know are pretty lucky in their male chums, significant others, and family members, so we should dig in and get them cool (fake) presents anyway.  Any to add to the list?

For your all American brother-in-law who spends the summer either on the green or at the grill.
For the guy friend who almost blew a snyapse when he found out they were making a new Muppets movie.
For your British mystery loving in-law.
For the guy you met in your major who now teaches English in Korea, even though he studied Medieval French Literature, and is an unrepentant nerd.
For your nephews who have never seen it - shame!
For you guy pal who thinks he's Don Draper, and who you care about too much to disillusion.
For you friend who just got his first Real Job and needs to dress the part.
For the slightly wacky but nice gun enthusiast neighbor of your parents.
Holidays, Humor, Shopping

Fantasy Shopping

“A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.”
– Anonymous

This post shamelessly inspired by Janssen’s fab one on present giving – though not quite as impressively frugal.  I’m in the midst of Christmas shopping and nearly done with it, but still very much in the mood.  Let’s do some fantasy shopping, ducklings, and pretend that none of us are paying off our husband’s student loans, prepping for a baby, a bit cash strapped this year, putting a wedding together, or just generally Scroogey, and spend fake money together.  Ladies first, just click to be linked for more info on what I’d buy you all if I could.

Note to friends and family, ha!  As if I’d post your prezzies all over the internet, nice try.  Move along and stop trying to peek into the proverbial parents’ closet to figure out what you’re getting, just trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

For your stylish best friend who organizes her bookshelves by color - because they look better that way.
For the Francophile, cheese addicted couple.
For the globetrotting best friend who still prefers handwritten letters to emails.
For the best friend who manages to look chic in sunglasses nearly as large as her face.
For the Jane Austen addict best friend.
For the best friend who can say she's a writer, and not mean it wistfully.
For the girlfriend whose extended family won't stop asking her when she's going to spawn.
For you Potterhead/valedictorian friend.
For your East Coast relations.
For your history nerd friend.
For fellow London cronies currently marooned stateside (and other items for the friend who can literally wear anything and get away with it).
For the nail polish addict.

What random things have you come across that instantly put a specific person into your head when shopping?

Holidays, Humor

*Checks Watch *Panics

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”
– Garrison Keillor

Merciful turkey and stuffing, I have so much to do!

I’d never lie to you, kittens, it hasn’t felt very holiday-y this year so far with J. gone.  The holidays for me are really all about traditions, but we haven’t really developed any of our own so far.  Being young, relatively poor, and childless, we have never really felt the urge to decorate our flat with various wreaths or garlands, preferring instead to hang out with friends and family who transform their abodes into festive wonderlands.   We live in a desert, meaning that raking leaves is sort of out.  I have an unbreakable rule that I will not listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving (one holiday at a time, people).  With just me to feed, massive amounts of baking seems excessive.  So, sans any sort of holiday-ish things to do, and minus husband, here we are two days out from Thanksgiving, and I feel as if the season has rather snuck up on me.

I only really processed that Thanksgiving was this week yesterday and was immediately beset by holiday panic.  A gift list was assembled and purchases are being made!  Hot chocolate or spiced tea is being taken with every meal!  An outfit has been selected for Thanksgiving Dinner (which, incidentally will be enjoyed at Marie’s house)!

I am on this!

After all, I’m literally a month away from seeing my husband, which will make the present ever.  (All together now, “Awww…”)

What are your plans for the season, my partridges?  And have you fallen a bit behind the times like me?  How do you get in the holiday spirit?