Humor, Work

A Conversation With Myself and Other Job Hunters

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
–Winston Churchill

Let’s get confessional, ducklings.

Here’s the horrible, smug truth – I’ve been offered every job I’ve seriously applied for since I was 16. Yes, some of those opportunities came through connections, dumb luck, and even parental urging, but the fact remains that I have been very luckily in work. I know it and acknowledge it. I’ve been grateful for my good fortune, but I’m also now getting to go through a crash course in the program. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

You will get frustrated. Frustration is fine, but it does not entitle you to complain or get cranky. After a lot of frankly easy good fortune, it is no fun at all to come up against disappointment and difficulty, but you will. Deal with it with humor and dignity. Because…

You’re not special. In a place as varied as London, my skills are not unique and I have a lot of competition for positions. It is nothing personal when I don’t get them. On the other hand…

You have something special to offer. Just because I have the same practical skills as the next girl does not mean we combine them and our personality strengths in the same ways. I am a creative problem solver who is good at making existing systems and programs work better and coming up with solutions when issues arise. Someone else will be an organizer who is able to spot new opportunities and exploit them. Someone else will be team leader who is good at finding the right person to fix certain problems. We all could potentially have the same practical skills and work history, but our strengths are different.

You will make stupid mistakes that will make you cringe. A very kind person recently went out of their way to help me on my job hunt. I thought I had sent a thank you note after a meeting and an extremely thoughtful email, only to discover five days later that I might have written it but I hadn’t clearly sent it when they followed up with me. I was badly embarrassed to have made such a rookie error as to not have doubled checked I sent the damn thing before I closed a page! Double check everything, but know you’re going to make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up too badly when it happens (she says after thunking her head on the desk she felt so stupid), apologize if you can and keep on trucking.

You will feel overwhelmed. I’m effectively trying to make a career change. That means I’m starting from the bottom in a new city, on a new continent up against scary smart competition who are both sharp and local. Forget finding opportunities, I’m having to locate the sites and forums where opportunities are even posted! I’ve been lucky to have been pointed in some good directions, but it’s still a daunting prospect. It’s fine to feel out of your depth, it generally means you’re trying something foreign.

You will be rejected until you’re not. That’s nearly a 100% failure rate. Know that’s what you’re going into and be ready for it. It makes the word “No,” so much less scary than we often give it credit for. Hearing no, and often hearing nothing, has been less than enjoyable to adjust to, but knowing that it’s going to be the norm makes it much easier to deal with.

Again, it’s not personal. Frankly the people I’m applying to don’t know me, therefore it’s not possible for them to dislike me. Ergo, not choosing me for a position isn’t an insult, a slight, or even an opportunity to be mean or hurt my feelings. It’s just a “No, thank you.”

There are some of the lessons I’ve learned or had to relearn. Minion who have or are job hunting, share your wisdom! What did you figure out about job hunting that you didn’t know before hand?

Humor, Writing

Death to the Mythology

“Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.”
― Lemony Snicket

Yesterday a new acquaintance asked what I did and I told her I was a freelance writer.

“Ooh, that sounds posh!” she exclaimed.

It was all I could do to keep from exploding with laughter. I work hard, I love what I do, I hope to do even more of it. But if it were up to me and my pen, dear minions, we would starve. Sex and the City has much to answer for in this respect.

Humor, Husband

Family Corruption

“So, you told me to make sure you worked on your novel today. But if you make cookies, I may look the other way.”
“You’re useless as conscience or encouragement if you’re susceptible to bribery, you know.
“So? I like cookies.”
– Jeff and C.

I sincerely hope Jeff never runs for office. For a number of reasons, but apart from anything else, his moral center is shockingly lax when faced with baked goods. I feel this could present a pretty significant danger to the community if in government.

Humor, Linkstorm, London, Weekend

Friday Links
“I do like escapism. I like going to the movies on a Friday night and seeing something fun.”
– Charlie Kaufman

Yesterday was Jeff’s birthday, he’s solidly late 20s now! Yesterday we did dinner at Scoff and Banter to celebrate, tomorrow we’re going to see this to continue celebrating, which we’ve been looking forward to for month (and had to book months in advance to avoid paying a kidney each). We tend to stretch birthdays out a bit, sans shame. That’s our weekend, what are yours looking like, ducklings? Here are your links!

I have, as you know a deep and abiding interest in all things cheese related.

The Lady sums it up. Lady Edith, who, by the way American minions who have not already pirated it, is killing it on the style front this series in Downtown Abbey would approve. More I cannot on the DA front, but that I have opinions on this season.

Book teas!

This book sounds fascinating, I’m adding it to the To Read list at once!

Ralph Lauren has released images for the Winter 2014 Olympic uniforms. I’m not loving the trousers but I think the coats are great.

Modern dandy portraits. Very nice indeed.

A couple of week ago, Mozart. This week, Beethoven.

This photo is making the social media rounds and I thought it worth sharing again. Caption: “A little break from our crying child. Once I took this picture I teared up with the realization of what my wife was going through.

Someday it will swallow the solar system and engulf it in blazing fury…but until then it is stunning, isn’t it?

This group concept (though sounding, as one commenter rather hilariously put it, a bit like The Hunger Games), actually makes a lot of sense to me. As an American citizen who grew up both internationally and all over the country, I’ve often found the best way to explain the US to some outsiders is to portray the states and the broader areas they are grouped in as something like different countries. Complete with dialects, cultural priorities, and in some places racial and ethnic majorities and minorities. Apart from anything else, it’s a good way to explain why our government is as dysfunctional as it can be. When you stop thinking of the US as one country but several trying (or sometimes refusing) to work together, a lot of things about it make more sense.

These photos – I want to go to there!

Humor, London

In Character

“I’m cool dad, that’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face.”
– Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

The US has Black Friday, that day of dubious renown, to kick off the Christmas season. Here in London, we have the lighting of the annual displays on Regent Street. Every year thousands crowd to watch the lights turn on. Usually there is some kind of sponsor (this year a film) and plenty of performers. Goodness knows I didn’t see much besides the spines of other people – drat my height! – but we got to listen to Leona Lewis and Passenger before several guests of honor took their places to throw the switch, including actor Ty Burrell.

…and nothing happened.

They had to try three times, the last after a bit of an awkward delay when they turned off all the large screens and shuffled around the stage a bit awkwardly. That part I did get to see, since I found a handy curb.

Luckily they did get it all to work eventually, but I rather like the idea of Phil Dunphy doing something to make the lighting a bit more difficult.

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Humor, London

The Moderate British Bake Off

“Empty?! You took all the cookies!”
“They were crying to get out of the jar… Cookies get claustrophobia too, you know!”
― Charles M. Schulz

Britain, I’m devoted to you, but the size of your packages of baking chocolate chunks leaves something to be desired.

2013-11-12 12.57.23

You. Vanilla extract with actual vanilla seeds. You can stay.

2013-11-12 12.57.45

Humor, Linkstorm, London, Weekend

Friday Links (A Blustery Day Edition)

“Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.”
― Roger Miller

Just a few this week because it’s a very blustery and rainy day and I’m behind on projects that must get done before the weekend. Jeff and I will take but a quick evening break tonight to wander down Regent Street, now positively awash in yuletide goodness. Since we’re past bonfire night and Thanksgiving is rather up in the air, it’s seasonally appropriate. Next up, Christmas carols! …Also, I should probably get shopping…

A while back we brought you Star Wars as done by Shakespeare, I’ll now just leave this right there.

Columns – written and otherwise.

Thoughts on writing and rewriting from The Lady. Helpful in trying to produce a first draft.

Twitter feed find, if the Tudors tweeted. (Woof, say that five times fast.)

This headline. Guys, this headline! (#AndMyAxe)

To say that words fail me would be inadequate. On the other hand, a guy from the state I just moved is achieving a degree of internet notoriety for offering $5,000 to anyone who introduces him to the woman he eventually marries. Love is not dead!

Far overdue, but good!

My retail temptation store has followed me across the Atlantic. Is nowhere safe?!

Holidays, Humor, London

A Holiday Issue Arises – Advise!

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes.”
― Erma Bombeck

An admittedly American conundrum. (Among many, apparently.)

Jeff’s work Christmas party is scheduled for Thanksgiving evening and everyone is “highly encouraged” to attend. Spouses aren’t invited. I have thoughts on this, both as to the scheduling (Christmas parties in November violate my sense of order) and the no partners policy.*

I also have a reservation for dinner at The Mayflower – because that was the most on-the-nose Thanksgiving I could possibly have come up with and I thought it would be fun to eat in a pub that commemorates the group that kicked off the holiday to begin with. Very apropos, if not slightly meta.

So. Who can I befriend in less than a month that will go to a major holiday dinner with me and not find it weird? Or do I just ditch the reservation and spend take myself out to a fab day and night on the town and go utterly native by forgoing the only real American holiday? Which I’m not opposed to, but if left to my own devices I feel I should at least do something interesting, but what? Advise me, minions!

*Half of me understands the financial desire to keep numbers down, the other half of me gives this policy serious side eye.

Humor

Overheard at Bonfire Night

“Flora knew her hunting gentry. They were what the Americans, bless them! call dumb.”
– Stella Gibbons, Cold Comfort Farm

After participating in that great British tradition of fireworks in the park, we got to participate in that other great British tradition, the insane bottleneck queuing of people trying to leave said park after said fireworks.

As we shuffled along like penguins on a march, Jeff and I got squished up against a number of people but spent the longest time in close contact with a set of harried parents. Harried because they were outnumbered by their collective posse of children who were behaving, shall I say, less than delightfully. Funny to watch, but I imagine much less funny to wrangle.

A couple of these cherubs were engaged in a slapping war, another pair were shoving the youngest children around, but the most hilarious were a small boy and girl (I’d guess five years old or so) trading insults. Luckily after the following outburst we were shoved in different directions because I don’t think I could have held in my laughter much longer! The hostilities (and their volubility) had intensified pretty dramatically.

“You’re dumb.
“Well you’re stupid.”
“No! You’re a twit.”
“You’re a git.”
“You’re an idiot!”
“You’re a ****!”
“Well you’re…you’re American!

Anchorman-well-that-escalated-quickly

Humor, Husband, Writing

Get Shorty

“Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.”
– The Princess Bride (1987)

There’s going to be a bit more microblogging going down here at Small Dog HQ in the near future. First of all, I like blogging and I don’t like it when I let if fall by the wayside. It’s fun, it forces me to take pictures, that hopeless bane of my existence, and Small Dog minions are the best minions to interact with. But I’m also in the middle of job hunting, an amped freelance schedule, and writing a novel (like everyone else and their dog this month). Therefore, some posts are going to have shorten up.

With that in mind, I was typing frantically away at my murder mystery and having a grand old time when I hit one of those stupid snags that only happens when you’re on a roll. My brain froze trying to name a street in a fictional town in an unnamed state. Yes, I’m a bit sheepish about it too. Anyway, I called out to Jeff who was in the other room, “I need common street names!”
“On it,” he said obligingly.

Odd requests without context make up a large part of our marriage.

Two seconds later he was laughing.
“Ready for this? Most common street names in order of use:
2nd is first
3rd is second
1st is third
4th is fourth.”

America, dear ducklings, is bonkers.