Drama, Humor, Shameful

Battle of the Sexes, Part I

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
-Katherine Hepburn

frustrated20womanIt has been one of those weeks that makes a girl grind her teeth in sheer, agonizing irritation.  Even though most of it has been completely uneventful, wednesdayand thursday were well and truly mind blowing, at least philosophically.  First of all we had a guy come in to report that he was being sexually harassed: about a month ago he had written a letter to the editor of the paper of the university (which is a religiously funded one with a rather conservative mindset.  Which is the understatment of the century…) about people’s various choices in fashion choice, most particularly women, and how immodestly dressed women deserved to be subjected to catcalls, name calling, and other behavior until they “put some clothes on.”  For reasons this knight errant, obsessed with protecting the virtue and chastity of women (what century is this guy living in?), could not fathom some women found this suggested behavior offensive.  Go figure.  And in the spirit of the modern age, these ladies (grand total: 2) created a Facebook group against him, which was the basis for his harassment claim. 

It took about three times longer than it should have to explain to him that while this group could be classified as libel (it was removed from the site, by the way) it did not actually constitute sexual harassment.  While the actions he was advocating, on the other hand, most definitely would fall under that category.
“I didn’t mean it seriously,” this guy huffed.
“Well, sir, the truth is that sarcasm doesn’t translate.  You aren’t responsible for the tone you intended, you are responsible for the words you wrote as they appear.”
“You agree with those girls, huh?” he asked belligerently.
Yes, thought C. nastily.  “Not necessarily,” she said politely, “I’m just pointing out that the only actions that could be construed as sexual harassment in the case are technically coming from you.”
He slouched off muttering under his breath about ten minutes later.  Clearly this guy is one of those poisonous types who think that all women should be dressing like his mother.

To be continued…

Humor, Work

Beating Thursday

“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy!”
-Cynthia Nelms

Smalldog has decided she will have a good day!
Smalldog has decided she will have a good day!

Reasons to be happy today:
1) it’s girl night so Marie and I (and hopefully Kels) will be able to finish the movie we started last week
2) the girl I absolutely hated got kicked off ANTM last night!  Ding dong the witch is dead.  Oh, sorry, was that harsh?
3) the Pandora playlists I’ve been putting together for work have reached near perfection
4) today must be slow because all the stupid, pigheaded, obnoxious people in the universe came in yesterday, therefore the cosmos owes us a break from Idiots At Large
5) I have a whole bunch of new books to read!!

Friends, Life

Girls Interupted

We judge others by their behavior.  We judge ourselves by our intentions. 
-Ian Percy

Ever since taking that personality test I’ve been thinking about personal strengths and weaknesses, and have come to some interesting conclusions.

So...being a lady is a bad thing...
So...being a lady is a bad thing...

Recently I was talking to my dear friend Marie who has endured a hellish past two years, rife with all sorts of problems from the medical to the personal.  She’s doing much better now (from an outsider’s perspective at least) and last monday in particular the girl got empowered.  She got good and mad at her situation for the first time in a long time, got a bunch of people in line where they were slacking, and generally went about setting the world to rights.  She says this is out of character for her, and to a degree that’s true, but what really flummoxed me was that she said she was angry at herself for ever having been a “pushover” in her situation (incidentally, not a word that springs to my mind to describe this woman).  In fact, the thing that I’ve always admired most about Marie is her poise: the way she seemed to handle adversity with grace, gentleness, and quiet determination.  I never thought that what I saw as a real strength would be something she saw as a major life obstacle!

...and being an Ice Queen is...good? HUH?
...and being an Ice Queen is...good? HUH?

But then I considered myself.  Quite a few people recently have told me that they admire my “assertiveness,” “strong will,” and “boldness,” but that aspect of my personality is always something I’ve had mixed feelings about.  I developed a rather aggressive, stand-offish (in some ways) personality to defend myself when no one else in my life seemed able to, to take care of myself when I was well and truly on my own.  I’ll be the first to admit that this forcefulness–not to say intractability– has literally saved my sanity a few times (plus getting a waiter’s attention in any restaurant in Europe would be impossible without it), but that I don’t necessarily like it.  Being bold and appearing confident can be useful, but it can also be abrasive (it earned me the nickname Ice Queen in high school: sometimes it was said with odd admiration, sometimes is wasn’t) .  But still people can like this aspect of me, this facet of my personality that I am sometimes grudgingly thankful for, sometimes outright dislike, but am always willing to use.

Maybe it isn’t too odd that what we see as our greatest weaknesses other see as our greatest strengths.  In the end, we’re probably both right.

Humor, Short, Wedding

Yes, We Get It, I’m Short!

“Well, we’re going to have to hem quite a lot.  Let’s put your shoes on and see if that helps?  …Not really…”
-Seamstress

I have to pay HOW much for the ability to walk?
I have to pay HOW much for the ability to walk?

Could someone please explain how the alterations for a wedding dress cost half as much as the dress itself?  Does this seem right?  I don’t care if they have to take three yards off the bottom so I can walk (slight exaggeration), it still seems horrendously exorbitant!  On the upside, it’s still a gorgeous dress, and I saved it from near ruin.  When I went in to get it altered the seamstresses were working on the same dress for another girl…and they had turned it into some sort of Jane-Austen-wanna-be-meets-prom-dress-gone-horribly wrong mistake.  I am not spending money on something like this only to have it turned into some monstrosity.  Gah, what an escape!

Friends

Hooked

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.  ~Anäis Nin

Once a week my friends from London and I get together, nominally to watch The Office and 30 Rock but really to gossip and catch up and reminisce about England.  I’ll never forgive Marie for going back this summer while I’m here, but I’ll be back in Cambridge for Christmas (this year with a husband.  Weird) so I just have to hold out strong until then. 

84_charing_cross_roadAnyway, in the spirit of Anglophilia, Marie had rented a movie for us to watch and I’m completely smitten!  It’s called 84 Charing Cross Road and chronicles a based-on-a-true-story 20 year correspondence between an American writer and the proprietor and staff of a bookshop in London that specializes in antique books (incidentally, a 200 year old edition of Newton from this place cost less than £5!  Why couldn’t I have lived in the 1940’s?!).  This film is absolutely charming, and I don’t mean it in the patronizing way that word gets used, it’s an engaging, delightful film and you get completely engrossed in the story.  I may have to go on another Amazon.com spree here shortly!  That and the next time I’m in London I’m going to have to find the real 84 Charing Cross, even though I understand the shop isn’t there anymore which is tragic in my opinion.  Excellent choice, Marie.

coldcomfort1But this incident got me thinking: I’m indebted to friends or circumstance for so many of life’s little gems.  Way back when I was living in Micronesia my friend Biscotti Rose, during one of our many slumber parties, declared, “I have a movie you just have to watch!”  And thus I met Cold Comfort Farm, with some of the greatest English actors working today: Kate Beckinsale, Aileen Atkins, Rufus Sewell, Joanna Lumley, and Sir Ian McKellen.  Years later I bought the novel and laughed even harder at it than the film.

Angel introduced me to a science fiction series that I was initially dubious about.  After all, scifi?  Isn’t that for people who go to conventions, think Klingon is a legitimate language, and don’t make physical contact with the opposite sex until their 30’s?  Not so!  You want a series that delves deeply into human psychology, valor, and vice?  Lois McMaster Bujold is the writer for you.  Peregrine, I maintain, is responsible for much of my cultural happiness.  Even though I resisted her civilizing efforts for years.  She first exposed me to Chocolat and Amelie, plus more books and fine food than I can name!  

yourangBBC and PBS stations!  Where would I be without them?  Agatha Christie’s indomitable Belgian detective Hercule Poirot, the upstairs/downstairs dichotomy of London’s 1920’s in You Rang M’Lord?, the hilarious, frantic antics of Hyacinth “Bouquet” (actually pronounced “Bucket”) in Keeping Up Appearances.  I keeping-up-appearances-the-full-bouquet1stumbled upon each of these gems while doing late night laundry across the years and they fulfill my need for British TV (even though You Rang, M’Lord? never shows up here, blast).  I also watched my first opera on PBS when I was 9 and have been hooked ever since. 

 

cyrano_de_bergerac_drg126021French classes exposed to Gerard Depardieu as Cyrano de Bergerac and Le Comte de Monte Cristo, as well as Marcel Pagnol, and the first time I read Rousseau it was his La Nouvelle Heloise.  I read my first ancient Greek play on a whim after pulling down a random book from my mother’s library, but I was hooked and at 13 I wrote a short play on the ancient model that won me a competition and was produced by Theatre Virginia.

IRS Guy introduced me to a fabulous little restaurant called Gloria’s Little Italy and while he didn’t make it past a second date, Gloria and I have been very happy together ever since.  Peregrine (again!) first took me to Bombay House for Indian food.  J., who lived in Korea for 2 years, has completely addicted me to Korean cuisine and knows the best holes in the wall for oriental food, to say nothing of the local hotspots (he’s lived here longer than me).

What sorts of treasures have you discovered through other people?

Home, Snark

Hot Hot Heat

“Val, at this exact moment, I might love you more than my fiance!”
– C.  (Don’t worry, J., I didn’t mean it)

Thank. Gosh.
Thank. Gosh.

I have heating!  Venice’s husband got it up and working last night when I showed up on their doorstep (two doors down from my own) asking pitifully, “I picked up dinner, but can I please eat it here because my place is freezing!”  Val, wonderful guy that he is, grabbed my keys and was off to sort out the problem and by the time I’d finished dinner and dragged Venice back to look at our place (much improved since J. had put furniture together that day and I’d unpacked and sorted a lot of stuff) the temperature had risen significantly.  Thank gosh because the night before last I had to put on leggings, followed by my flannel pajama pants, followed by a thermal shirt, followed by doubled blankets before I could feel the heat stop escaping.  And I like the cold!  But when there is no discernible difference between one’s apartment and the below freezing temperature, I draw a line!

Friends, Humor

What’s Your (Personality) Sign?

“[upon reading result] Sorry.  Giggles are all I can manage.”
“Right?  It makes me giggle too.  Then I cry.”
-C. and Peregrine

Peregrine, during one of our regular marathon phone calls, updated me on her always intriguing love life.  The funny part is that she took the Myers-Briggs Personality Testand it pinpointed her tendencies in romance dead on, much to our amusement.  Out of curiosity I took it too…and had to chuckle.  I’m an ENTJ, and my personality is:

Hardly more than two percent of the total population, ENTJs are bound to lead others, and from an early age they can be observed taking command of groups. In some cases, they simply find themselves in charge of groups, and are mystified as to how this happened. But the reason is that they have a strong natural urge to give structure and direction wherever they are – to harness people in the field and to direct them to achieve distant goals.

For the ENTJ, there must always be a goal-directed reason for doing anything, and people’s feelings usually are not sufficient reason. They prefer decisions to be based on impersonal data, want to work from well thought-out plans, like to use engineered operations – and they expect others to follow suit. They are ever intent on reducing bureaucratic red tape, task redundancy, and aimless confusion in the workplace, and they are willing to dismiss employees who cannot get with the program and increase their efficiency. Although ENTJs are tolerant of established procedures, they can and will abandon any procedure when it can be shown to be ineffective in accomplishing its goal. ENTJs root out and reject ineffectiveness and inefficiency, and are impatient with repetition of error.

ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshall and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way… “I make these little plans that really don’t have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out.” While “compelled” may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types.

ENTJs are often “larger than life” in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline.

TRADEMARK: — “I’m really sorry you have to die.” (I realize this is an overstatement. However, most Fs and other gentle souls usually chuckle knowingly at this description.) *** Favorite quote!

Although ENTJs are not naturally tuned into other people’s feelings, these individuals frequently have very strong sentimental streaks. Often these sentiments are very powerful to the ENTJ, although they will likely hide it from general knowledge, believing the feelings to be a weakness. Because the world of feelings and values is not where the ENTJ naturally functions, they may sometimes make value judgments and hold onto submerged emotions which are ill-founded and inappropriate, and will cause them problems – sometimes rather serious problems.

 

ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows. Few other types can equal their ability to remain resolute in conflict, sending the valiant (and often leading the charge) into the mouth of hell. When challenged, the ENTJ may by reflex become argumentative. Alternatively (s)he may unleash an icy gaze that serves notice: the ENTJ is not one to be trifled with.

napoleonstart20copy-7046175The classic ENTJ: Napoleon.  Um, can anyone say Small Dog Syndrome?  Haha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friends

Book Mavens

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid.”
-Jane Austen

books1I got this questionnaire from Peregrine and since I recently I had to go through all my books before commissioning J. to move several boxes of them into our new place, I figured I was in a good position to talk about them.  My Someday House has a huge library with full shelves around three walls, a fireplace, and the world’s most comfortable couch and chaise for lounging with a cup of tea.  As the years go by and I keep buying more books, my imaginary walls keep expanding and the books have gone from cheap paperback to more impressive and beautiful editions, but the look of my fantasy library remains the same. 

1) What author do you own the most books by?
Probably Lois McMaster Bjuold, followed by Jane Austen, Tolkien, and Marian Keyes.  An odd mix: scifi, classic British Lit, fantasy 9the good kind, not the weird kind) and contemporary Irish

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
I have two copies of Candide.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Nope.  Modern English and its callous disregard for proper form is the only reason most English speakers can understand one another.  

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Good gosh, what a question!  Ultimately probably Miles Vorkosigan, although I admit to crushes on Faramir from the Lord of the Rings and a dark sort of bad-boy-craving for the Vicomte de Valmont from Les Liasons Dangereuse.

5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
I can’t keep track!

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
The Diplomat’s Wife by Pam Jenoff.  I only read it to kill time, but it was an absolutely atrocious book.

8. What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
The Lucifer Effect, by Phillip Zimbardo

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons, the funniest book I have ever read in my life and a work of genius!

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
Ditto to Peregrine, no idea why one person gets it and another doesn’t. 

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I Lucifer, by Glen Duncan…and I just found out a while back that they are!!  With Daniel Craig in the title role (double delicious).  I worry about them getting the metaphysical aspects and scope to translate well onto the screen, but if they can pull it off it will be amazing. 

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
I have no idea, so many of my books are historical classics that have managed to make the transition in various levels of completion.  Then again enough have been butchered…I’ll say Atlas Shrugged, because the interpretation might actually convince me to hate it.   

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
Never had one.

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
Watermelon, by Marian Keyes, which is surprising given my enthusiasm for some of her other novels

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
Probably The Scarlet Letter the first time I had to read it.  I tried it again a couple of years ago and it went down much easier.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
The Merry Wives of Windsor, which no one ever reads but everyone should because it’s a riot!  Saw it at a Shakespeare festival in the States and at the Globe in London.

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
French, but I’ll admit to not really ever giving the Russians a chance.   

18) Roth or Updike?
Neither, my tastes don’t run that modern.  I’ll amend shortly, I promise/

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Sedaris.

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Chaucer for fun, Shakespeare for a good read, Milton when I’m feeling philosophical or intellectual.

21) Austen or Eliot?
Austen, but not obsessively. 

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Anything after 1850, probably.  And American, I don’t read too much of that…I need to expand my repertoire.

23) What is your favorite novel?
That’s like asking me to pick a favorite pair of shoes!  Or a favorite kind of chocolate desert!

24) Play?
Broadway: The Scarlet Pimpernel for fun, Into the Woods for thought.  Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing.  Also in my top five, Congreve’s Way of the World.

25) Poem?
Song of the Wandering Aengus

26) Essay?
Another gap in my reading! 

27) Short Story?
I don’t remember the title, but it was in an anthology of Indian (the subcontinent) American women.

28) Work of nonfiction?
The Story of Britain, by Roy Strong.  Got me through my entire major.

29) Who is your favorite writer?
See #23

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Stephanie Meyer, ephemeral as her books will undoubtedly be in the grand scheme of things her current popularity offends me.

31) What is your desert island book?
Probably an Encyclopedia Britannica, because I’m assuming I’ll be on that island for a while. 

32) And… what are you reading right now?
How to Hug a Porcupine, by John Lund.

Humor, Snark

Hear Me Roar!

“We’ve turned into one of those couples.”
“What sort?”
“IKEA couples.  Yuppies.”
-J. and C.

I woke up yesterday at 6am, was into work at 7:10, dashed home at 8:30 to meet the plumber and still made it back to work within my “lunch hour” time allotment.  Sometime about 2 I snagged a fifteen minute break to set up our electricity and gas bills, which due to the incompetence of customer service people turned into a 45 minute project.  I got off work at 4:20 at which time I dashed home where we managed to get everything left in my old flat into our new one.  At 7:30 we dashed up to IKEA to pick up a bookshelf and dresser and make a pit stop at J.’s parent’s house to pick up the bedframe they’re giving us.  Then home (11pm) where we carried the lot inside, set up my bed, I puttered around setting up necessary stuff before collapsing into bed (1am). 

Oh, and the gas couldn’t get turned on until today so I spent a freezing night bundled up and burrowed under my blankets.

But my stuff is in!  Bills will be paid!  Hypothermia was kept at bay!  AND I showed up at work today with only a slight limp!  I.  Am.  Awesome.