“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.”
— J.M. Barrie

I’m putting together some pieces about what I’ve learned from some of the less typical aspects of my current job as it winds to a close, but it struck me that as I’m gearing up for a new job (hopefully a career) in the near future, I’m already getting some insights into the brave new world of post-university employment.

Working on the Mysterious Project in particular (still secret, details coming soon) has been eyeopening.  It’s been a crash course from an insider on the nitty gritty details of an industry I hope to work in some day in some capacity.  It’s absolutely invaluable, frankly a lot of fun, and if I could do it full time I would in a heart beat…but it’s also giving me a view into how a lot of the world works and the findings have been surprising.

My day job can be roughly described as being the “exclusive personal assistant” to forty separate people, in addition to day to day operations for the department.  I’m constantly juggling priorities, assignments, and shifting duties.  The job I have now is not the job I was hired four years ago to do in a lot of ways.  But in spite of almost constant upheaval (between big cases and department crises), every email is answered and every phone message is returned.  It’s not even an option for me not to.

Working on the MP means constant phone calls and emails – and I have been shocked at how few are responded to.  My prior internships and jobs (NATO, and International Student Services, even research assistant!) all required quick turn around time and explicit acknowledgement of messages.  I didn’t realize that some professions didn’t have that same expectation!  It’s aggravating in the extreme to hear, “Oh yeah, I got that a month ago but I haven’t got around to it yet,” when I’m holding myself to a policy of same day (preferably same hour) response time.

The day job also requires pretty concrete time frames.  “C., I need this done by X day to be ready for Y court date.”  On it.  “C., this project takes priority over everything else until it’s done.”  Understood.  “This isn’t a big deal, but could you tell me when you could have it done by?”  “I will have this to you by end of day/week.”

I was assured an answer to a question last Friday for the MP.  Nearly one week later, nada.  They’ve now assured me I’ll probably hear something this week, but I’m not confident at all they’ll do so without more follow up from me.

Work on the other side of the police department counter is going to be alright.  More than alright, I’m really looking forward to it, but it’s been odd to see a completely different work paradigm from the one I’ve used and functioned in since I was 16.  It’s never convenient to realize that there are other operating systems out in the universe, it means you have to play catch up.  Luckily, I’m more than ready for the challenge!

“One cannot spend one’s entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls!”
― Reif Larsen, The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet

As my time here at Noneofyourbusiness University PD winds down, I’ve got to thinking about what I’ve learned working here.  Sure my typing is faster than it’s ever been and I can set up last minute blood drives, but there are a lot of little things you pick up at a job that have nothing to do with your day to day responsibilities.  Here are some unexpected lessons I’ve learned dropping off and picking up laundry – which involves a lot of time in the men’s restroom.

1. Knock first.  Some surprises aren’t pleasant.
2. People take you largely at your own estimation.  I flat out frightened more than a few boys who wandered in and found me unexpectedly found me hanging gear on lockers, believe me I never thought it would become part of my job description either, but I learned that simply acting like you know what you’re doing is a great deterrent to questions and complaints.  I hope one day to test this theory by simply walking into a high security facility.
3. Things are only strange until they become routine.  These days absolutely no one is surprised to see me going about my job in the bathroom, and the guys are all pretty laid back about it.  Life’s curveballs turn into your new reality pretty quickly, might as well learn to roll with the punches.  (And mix metaphors as necessary.)
4. Dogsbody work is rough, and the people who do it should be appreciated.  I routinely lug 30+ lbs. of clothing around, the hangers have cut my hands, doors have slammed on me, and people (in misguided attempts to be funny) have neglected to hold doors when I’ve asked, in spite of the fact that I’m performing a service for them.  I hate it.  Which now means when I see somebody struggling with a hard task, the moral thing to do is lend a hand if I can.
5. People will blame you for their own errors, like telling the Chief that you are responsible for their lost pants when they have been hanging in his home locker for weeks (I might take that anger to my grave).  It’s a fact of life.  Remember how grouchy it made you and try to make sure you’re never guilty of the same behavior.
6. Find the humor.  It make be a thankless chore, but there’s nothing like the look on a seasoned, grizzled man’s face when you skip merrily out of the men’s room with a chipper, “Good morning!” to make it a little less onerous.