“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.”
– Lao Tzu
I’ve never been big on Valentine’s day, some of it is a bit over processed for me (although the history I can clearly get behind) and a lot is just a bit too cheesy. When J. and I were dating and we both knew we were moving towards getting married, I actually threatened him with rejection if he proposed to me on V Day – to which he burst out laughing and declared, “Understood.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the love but the pink and red of it all just strike me as a little bit too much.
Longwinded way of saying if you came here looking for hearts and sparkles, kittens, trot off elsewhere. It’s just isn’t our style.
I spent the first half of the day at the office finishing up some pretty somber assignments for a couple of really sad cases (the kind that are hard to work on) and half battling a sort of pre-cold that refuses to either go away or develop into the full blown thing. I threw in the towel at lunchtime, got home, worked frantically on the MP for a couple hours, trie to get some sort of rest in because we have a newborn in the flat below us and a baby being sleep trained in the one above which means haven’t had a full night of sleep in weeks (subtext: I am never having children!), only to be thwarted in the rest attempt by…the screaming infants.
I actually forgot it was Valentine’s Day until I lurched through the door and J. (working at home in his basketball shorts and an old t-shirt) reminded me from the couch.
“Good,” muttered I. “By the way, our tax return came through, let’s pay off the credit card.”
We didn’t do presents and the only way we are celebrating is by going out to a nice dinner in a restaurant we’ve both wanted to go to for a while. We’ll dress up a bit, him in the suit he likes best, me in my favorite little black dress and we’ll enjoy ourselves. But the truth is, we’ll probably go to the gym first.
Here’s the thing about stylized romance that I find so annoying – I think it’s often used to sell a bad product. No amount of roses or over the top dates turns The Bachelor into a show about love. Oceans of wine and acres of flowers don’t make a steady relationship. Making out in the rain is cold, wet, and uncomfortable and only to be attempted when making a perfume add under the watchful eye of trained couturiers. Romance is not (in my opinion) dying for love, or sonnets, or grand gestures – those are surprisingly easy, even the first one if half the poets are to be believed. Sometimes it’s about not buying flowers so that money can go to our upcoming move to London – where we both want to go and have been working towards for years. Together.
*Oh fine, minions here are some valentines for you:
These are for the history nerds (and I’ve decided when in London I am going to seek this woman out because anyone with that level of love for the Plantagenet dynasty is someone I was clearly destined to be friends with).
And these are for the Lizzie Bennett Diaries/Jane Austen fans out there. Let’s not dissemble, we’re all friends here.