Category: Humor

Beauty, Goals, Humor

Shopping My Beauty Arsenal

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.”
-British wartime slogan

Kittens, I’m in a decluttering mood. I don’t know whether it’s the confused British weather that makes it feel like it’s nearly fall even though it’s barely August, the fact that we are still getting back into the swing of things after a couple of weeks of houseguests, or that work (while still busy) feels a bit less hectic than usual with the summer slowdown…but I’m feeling a strange need to tidy, downsize, and just generally apply some order.

My year of “less but better” remains thematically in place and now, nearly three quarters of a way through it, I’m feeling much better about a lot of my consumption habits in most places. That being said, I’ve recently bought art for our walls and an amazing piece of vintage Aquascutum for my own back, so this clearly isn’t an impulse that’s being felt uniformly. But I recently wrote about streamlining my media, which has been an interesting exercise, and my anxiety and stress are more firmly under control than they’ve been in years, so I feel like my overall balance is in a good place.

Yes, I have quite a bit. And no, I regret none of it.

But one area of consumption in particular has been on my mind of late: I’m definitely wanting to use more of my makeup and skin care products–indeed not just use them, but use some of them up. I’ve put myself on strict “no buying” rules for new makeup (allowing myself the potential exception of buying from the new Estee Lauder and Victoria Beckham collaboration when it launches and a restock of some Glossier products that a pal may be shipping me from the States), and I’m restricting new skincare purchases until I use up what’s in my cabinet. I love beauty and I enjoy consuming it, so this isn’t going to be a hardship. Plus, at some point, when I’ve been better at using what I have, I can look forward to the pleasure of discovering new things when I have a hole in my arsenal to fill. Everyone wins!

And, because it’s me, of course I’ve given myself a few challenges and goals to achieve this!  I’ll check in on Halloween, which is my self-imposed deadline, to see if I’ve been able to get through. And for silliness’ sake, I’ve given myself a holiday appropriate list of 13 things to use up!

Beauty To Dos

Hit pan on at least one color in my Viseart neutral eyeshadow palette. I’m using this palette almost exclusively in order to meet this goal.

Use up my Bite Beauty lipstick in Pepper – my favorite and perfect nude, a shade I will be repurchasing. Eventually.

Finish my Nars Velvet Lip Pencil in Red Square – another favorite that I will probably also repurchase…but only after I also complete other lip products that are similar, though inferior!

Use up my Replica by Maison Margiela perfume in Jazz Club

Use just one blush – Tonga by Cargo – with aim of putting a proper dent in it

Use up one of my (many) sunscreens

Finish my Aesop Parsley Seed Mask

Finish my Glossier Moisturizing Moon Mask

Finish my Kiehl’s mud mask (so many masks…)

Use up one of my hand lotion samples already!

Finish one of my pots of lip salve (Rosebud Salve forever, but no one needs five tins of them)

Finish my current bottle of Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Concentrate

Hit pan on my Glossier Stretch Concealer

Anyone want to join in and commit to using up something–food in your cupboards, a reading list, products, boxes of tea bags that miraculously keep accumulating? Talk to me about something that you want to use up, and whether or not you would repurchase it or replace it when it’s gone? 

Humor, Pop Culture

Keeping Up With the K—er, Pop Culture

“In fact, pop-cultural references have become such potent metaphors in U.S. fiction not only because of how united Americans are in our exposure to mass images but also because of our guilty indulgent psychology with respect to that exposure. Put simply, the pop reference works so well in contemporary fiction because (1) we all recognize such a reference, and (2) we’re all a little uneasy about how we all recognize such a reference.” 
― David Foster Wallace

Kittens, leaving aside news for a moment, there is too much pop culture at the moment and it can be bizarrely anxiety-inducing. At the moment I’m catching up on The Handmaid’s Tale and American Gods, I have three audiobooks and a two week backlog of podcasts on my phone, and have five books checked out from the library. I’m following along the new season of Game of Thrones, and eagerly anticipating a bunch of films and new Netflix series. It’s a lot to keep up with.

A few weeks ago I found myself in a familiar situation: I had reached my limit on both checkouts and holds from my library and was nearing the end of my check out period on several books. I read fast and normally have at least two books going at any one time, but this time I was behind on my reading and I actually felt stressed at the prospect of not finishing books before I had to return them. Not only that, I had been on a waiting list for many of these books for weeks and if I didn’t finish them now, I’d have to wait weeks again before I could get my hands on them. Consequently, stress. Stupid stress, yes, but stress nonetheless.

Too much screen time, not enough walks!

I’m a finisher, almost constitutionally incapable of leaving a book, TV show, or movie only partially consumed. This doesn’t always serve me well as it means that I’ve struggled through pop culture that I have rushed too much to enjoy, wasn’t quite to my taste, and even downright hated all with the aim of just finishing it. For example, Jeff made me watch Twin Peaks with him, a show that I completely missed in its original run and knew only through casual references. Sacrilegious as it may be to say for some, I didn’t like it at all. It simply wasn’t for me. And yet, almost every night for a couple of months, I grudgingly insisted that we sit down and watch an episode just so I could say I had finished the damn thing.

This is, of course, ridiculous. Nevertheless, to solve my book backlog, I signed out of most social media and didn’t log in to Netflix or YouTube for a week so I could finish five books back to back, which made me feel quite cultured and au courant…until I noticed I’d nearly reached my storage limit on my phone because I had not kept up with my podcast feed.

Help!

I hear and read everywhere that we are living in a moment of “peak TV,” but you could also insert any other media platform into that statement quite comfortably. This weekend alone several trailers for upcoming films or TV shows that I’m genuinely excited about dropped. We are downright spoiled for choice when it comes to entertainment. Not only that, new technology and disruptive new platforms means that we have an almost constant stream of new ways to consume media, as well as very often whole new types of media itself.

Part of me thinks this is fantastic as there is so much stuff out there, you are bound to find a program, book, show, podcast, vlog, or feed that seems tailor made to cater to your personal interests and likes. On the other hand, it’s very easy want to consume everything and feel disappointed or frustrated when you can’t. It’s also not nice to feel like you’re out of the loop when friends or people you enjoy talking all things media with are in the know about something you’ve never heard of. The positive upside to this moment of peak pop culture, though, may be the fact that there is so much out there that it is impossible to even attempt to consume everything. Meaning that consumers can find what they actually like and disregard what they don’t.

This is the tack I have taken at least. I’ve given myself permission to not finish books I don’t like, drop shows that don’t appeal to me, and just tap out of pop culture I don’t care about. It’s such a dinky thing, but it’s been weirdly liberating to “give up” on media rather than slog through it or race to catch up with the rest of society.

Is there any pop culture out there that you genuinely love? What about something that you’ve given a total miss because you just aren’t interested? Have you ever felt guilty for not being able to keep up, or is this a weirdly C-specific problem?

Humor, News, Politics

Emotional Journey: The Mooch

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
-Maya Angelou

Ducklings, it’s only Monday. Between the start and finish of our Game of Thrones watch party, Mr. Scaramucci was fired. My full throated laugh in response to this particular sounded not entirely unlike one of the highest and greatest of villainesses in reaction. Gifs of the Grand Evil Dame turned out to illustrate my emotional arc pretty well.

My initial petty reaction:

 

Seriously. Probably enjoying this a bit too much.

 

My internal rendering of Mr. Scaramucci’s surprise.

Not wanted?!

The President, who mistakes attention for progress and infighting for evidence of strength.

Dance, my minions.

 

Me, remembering every time that the Republican party thought he was on their side, or that he could be persuaded to act in their interest or advance their agenda.

Fools.

 

…Then remembering that a guy with an actual nuclear arsenal is treating the global community like an actual elimination style reality TV show.

Three competent generals stand before me, but I have only two slots in my cabinet….

 

Because we elected a guy who literally has never been successful at anything else besides cheap celebrity and getting views, and we gave him a political platform. Yes, we; because we all have to deal with the consequence of this now.

 

Meanwhile, I can only assume somewhere in the bowels of some sanctum somewhere, actual grownups in the Republican party are weighing their options.

Well, I’ll be going…unless you want to talk about cutting taxes for the rich…

 

And finally, my initial burst of malicious mirth subsiding because we are barely six months into this presidency and not a week has gone by without some kind of upset, coarsening of the office, massive gaffe, betrayal of a supposedly trusted subordinate, or a failure of competence.

That evil laugh may have been in poor taste. Let’s dial it down to a cackle, maybe.

 

Jokes aside, let’s now consider the somewhat sobering idea that this guys= might have been brought on board just to get rid of two other characters that the president didn’t like. Characters who, love their politics or hate them, served as the political tie to the Republican party that the president nominally heads. Mr. Scaramucci was a human plot device and he served his purpose. He was then expendable. He’s leaving the scene with a broken marriage, no job, and something of a laughingstock–as did a couple of guys before him. And if that’s not stark warning to anyone cheering on this administration, much less taking a job in it, I don’t know what else I can say about that.

Favorites, Humor

Five Things I Loved In July

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.” 
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Another month gone, another batch of good things to celebrate and share. Beauty, books, and a particularly satisfying piece of art follow–tell me what you discovered and loved this past month in the comments!

Sun Project Water Cream SPF50 by Thank You Farmer
I’m fairly fanatical about sunscreen, but it can be hard to find a face SPF product to love. Texture, weight, and smell are not all created equal so when I find products that I genuinely enjoy using, I shout it from the rooftops. Such a product is this South Korean brand (and South Korean beauty junkies take their sun protection pretty seriously) and I cannot recommend it enough. It goes on smooth, moisturizes, has no white cast on my paler skin, and does not smell like a beach bag you forgot to clean out for six months. Win!

 


The Fernet Branca Alligator
I stumbled across a heritage poster of this old drink brand in a restaurant, and fell in love hard and fast with the sassy alligator mascot. So naturally I found a quality repro company that produces the poster because my new spirit animal needs a home on my walls. It took all my fun money for the month, and I regret nothing.

 

Cold Brew Coffee
Best friend and keeper of all things wise X. turned us on to this on a summer visit last year and Jeff contributed to a crowd funded project to purchase our own cold brew pitcher which arrived this month. As usual, we’re late to the party on so many things, but we’re definitely enjoying this cold brew life…and now we have no excuse to pay for it!

The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas
This novel was fantastic and absolutely devastating to read. Inspiring, shaming, educational, disheartening, and hopeful all at once.

 

Gap dress
I haven’t shopped at Gap in years, but I recently hit up their seasonal sale and came away with a handful of £5 tank tops, a pair of white jeans for £10 (that I would never have bought if not for the price tag as I’m death to all things pristine in spite of loving white clothing), and this dress in two shades for a substantial in store discount. Since then, I’ve been living in them during the work week. It’s the first non-second hand or non-vintage purchase I’ve made in a long, long time but the low price tag and commitment to maximize cost per wear allowed me to justify it.

Humor, Links, News, Politics

Weekend Links

“You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn’t that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.” 
― Jon Stewart

I GIVE UP, 2017 IS THE DARKEST TIMELINE. Let’s recap.

Monday: POTUS reaches out to the kids. Massively inappropriate speech, sir.

Tuesday: Congress votes to move ahead to debate on a bill none of them have seen. Senator McCain returned to the floor from recent surgery…to vote to proceed with this nonsense and then try and fingerwag at his colleagues for their misbegotten tampering of process and hyperpartisanship. As much as I do like the guy, mixed messages there, sir. You’ll also forgive me for still holding you responsible for part of this mess when you gave Governor Palin and her ilk a spotlight, so the fingerwagging does come with some caveats.

Wednesday: a hideous trash tweet from the president stating that trans people will no longer be able to serve in the military (at time of writing, there was plenty of push back on this and no actual Pentagon policy so I’m hoping this is just Mr. Trump being an ass online per usual and speaking without the foggiest idea of how to bring his word vomit to fruition). Ostensibly this is to keep the government from bearing any costs associated with various surgeries or other medical conditions. Newsflash. What garbage.

Thursday: The Pentagon weighs in. The Mooch might have turned out to be a bit of a mistake.  God damn it, there’s even another Kardashian West in the making?! Secretary Clinton dropped some thoughts. And fuck this noise! Oh…wow…The Mooch story…um…got worse?

Friday: The healthcare repeal bid failed (for now). Senator McMain got a lot of credit for casting a “deciding” vote, which was rather obnoxious to some observers who were quick to point out that Senators Murkowski and Collins had held their position line consistently from the get go. Not a great week for The Mooch. HOLY SHIT.

Annnnnd with that, I’m calling it. No more news updates for the week. Everyone go home. I’m tired. Here, have a few more links for your enjoyment and go take a nap this weekend, kittens. I sure as hell intend to.

She’s back!

I mean, how could you not want a retrospective of her work?

I still remember my dad reading me this book as a kid.

This would be sad and not frightening but for the fact that I’ve just finished The Handmaid’s Tale.

Album of the week: Everything Now, by Arcade Fire.

Humor, Links, News, Weekend

Weekend Links

“Nobody knew healthcare could be so complicated.”
– President Donald J. Trump

It was ironic when Republicans had to delay a vote on their healthcare initiative because one of their senior members had to undergo surgery–his healthcare is of course taken care of due to his position in the Senate. It turned tragic when it was later revealed that the surgery exposed the fact that Senator McCain has brain cancer. Senator McCain is one of the elder statesmen of both his party and the country, a veteran of not just military service but the civic process that guides our governing bodies. Despite disagreeing on many positions, I admire him a great deal and was dreading the day that age or health would bring him to retirement, so to see him diagnosed with something so serious is a bit frightening politically as well as personally. Wishing him and his family the best as they gear up for a fight!

The other news was much of the usual recent nonsense, but I’ve included some of the standout stories in the links this week–which are extra long for your enjoyment! Go forth and enjoy the summer weekend, kittens!

I don’t know if I need pink tigers or green pineapples, but I know I need these pyjamas.

My childhood is coming for you and it looks gorgeous.

Keep dreaming, sir. I’m more chilled by the request that the Prime Minister “fix” the media.

Reporter Tamara Keith (of NPR and PBS) pieced together a fascinating and helpful timeline of the Trump campaign as new facts and unreported meetings have come to light.

A single drop or the first of a cascade? I foresee many a book deal after this administration.

The next Doctor Who is a woman and at the announcement, Twitter resounded with the gnashing of teeth of a million dudebros, and the full bodied cheers of women who, in addition to Jedi knights, Ghostbusters, and their own superhero movies, now get to be timelord protagonists. This after the Wrinkle in Time trailer…I could weep with how great pop culture is right now.

Eats, Shoots and Leaves goes next level.

This dude is living his best life and I love him.

Ready for you, Jane.

Let’s just call it, the President doesn’t understand that conversations with Mr. Putin about adoption (off the record ones at that) are actually conversations about sanctions. The wider New York Times piece from which this snippet derives is fascinating.

Color me heartwarmed.

This write up of a “famous online” person, of whom I had never heard, was weirdly fascinating.

One for the fall calendar, if you live in London.

This article on how the beauty industry is being disrupted was catnip to me. I’m in marketing, I’m both a sucker for good branding and a devotee of the power thereof, but

One of NPR’s new podcasts is It’s Been a Minute by Sam Sanders (formerly of the NPR Politics podcast), and the episode containing his conversation with Anne Helen Petersen, author of Too Fat, Too Slutty, Too Loud: The Rise and Reign of the Unruly Woman is a great listen!

Album of the week: Sounds From the Other Side, by Wizkid

 

Humor, Links

Weekend Links

“It makes be utterly bonkers to remember how much everyone hated Mitt Romney.”
– Best Friend X. (editor’s note, I’m one of those who did not like him…and desperately want him and his ilk back)

Okay (cracks knuckles)!

So on Saturday the New York Times broke a story that the President’s son took a meeting he should not have. A series of explanations seem to have been floated until on Tuesday the President’s son simply tweeted the emails that led up to the meeting–apparently trying to preempt the reporter who apparently worked on the story for a year, after months of denial but whatever.

Said emails indicated, rather bluntly, that Don Jr. was invited to take a meeting to learn compromising information about Secretary Clinton or her campaign that was gathered by the Russian state, and was being offered because Mr. Trump was the preferred candidate of said state. Jr.’s best defense at the moment seems to be that the nature of the meeting had been misrepresented to him and the purpose turned out to be discussion issues around international adoption (code word for sanctions). In other words, he tried to collude with a foreign power, but didn’t manage to actually pull it off. TUESDAY. I’m writing this the day of to document the emotional journey I assuming I’ll go on this week, because at this moment, I’m not at all convinced anyone will bear any responsibility for any actions as a result of this. That’s just how 2017 seems to be rolling thus far.

By Friday and into late Saturday, it was revealed that yet more interesting people were at this meeting (some of whom now work in the administration and failed to disclose this meeting–among others–when being vetted), and that Republicans best response to this whole latest fiasco could best be described with a shrug emoji. After spending months denying meetings took place, they switched to denying collusion took place as there was no evidence of intent and now, faced with evidence of intent…crickets.

Ugh. Here are your links, some funny, some serious, but all designed to get you through this latest round of political BS.

Geez…

Follow up: super not great.

Humans are fantastic.

Conflicted about this.

Not conflicted in the slightest about this! Woohoo!

Oh, bless. You’re in for a world of hurt.

Good on ya, Scotland!

Black Panther!

Supporting NPR doesn’t just mean contributing to your local station (though you should totally do that too).

Beam me up, Scotty.

Thank you, Queen! All the blessings!

Nantucket reds, forever.

Album of the week: Mura Masa, by Mura Masa