Category: Humor

Humor

Friday Links (‘Hey look! I have a husband again’ Edition)

“I’ll have no husband, if you be not he.”
― William Shakespeare, As You Like It

You know what’s nice? Being with your spouse. Over the last two years we’ve spent ten months apart, which is doable but not my favorite. It’s much better having one’s nice husband around and close at hand.

Mum gets back on Tuesday and John flies in on the 14th so the whole gang will get one last hurrah before we head out. At some point Amy and Ryan will come to visit as well, and I need to head up to DC to see Xarissa and to Williamsburg to see Hannah. All of my friends are finally more or less in the same time zone and I’m leaving the country, typical.

Two weeks from tomorrow is our last day Stateside – suddenly everything is moving into crunch time. Banks are being called! British Pounds are being bought! Last minute purchases are being made when we confirm that certain brands will no longer be available to us! We are a flurry of activity over here.

I have one week left of work and it is a mad scramble to finish some projects – though the sheer amount of content I’ve wrangled, compiled, or scheduled is pretty impressive. Tomorrow we go back to my dad’s new rental property to continue fixing it up and trying to get renters into it. We’re busy over here! Here are your links, and tell me what you’re up to this weekend.

Interesting advice, that I may be taking at some point here in the next year. Thoughts?

80s wedding dresses struck celebrities too. A problem not necessarily confined to the 80s (Emma Thompson, what?!). Agree or disagree with this list?

The National Trust has gifted this Pinterest board to all of us. Be suitably thankful!

This travel journal is spectacular (the artist has a blog too!)  and I’m feeling inadequate again. Heck, I don’t even journal anymore.

I love looking at clever, pretty small apartments and then ponder on the tiny, cramped thing we will probably have to live in once in London. Househunting commences in a couple of weeks and I’m getting a bit stressed when contemplating it.

If Jeff can talk me into having kids (and I’ve got to be honest, after this month of domestic wrangling, his chances are pretty low), I wonder about eye color. All the girls in my family have green eyes and if I have a daughter myself, I always thought it would be nifty if genetics continued the tradition for us. Jeff’s got blue, so apparently the odds are 50/50.

Quoi?!

Kind of loved this.

Amy found this and everyone should check it out.

Family, Home, Humor

Video Killed the Radio Star

“The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.”
– Woody Allen quotes

Girl_listening_to_radioHaving much younger siblings is really fun because our collective cultural consciousness spans a much longer time frame. I was born when the Berlin Wall was still a thing, they can’t remember a time before the internet. It’s fun! We’re constantly introducing one another to interesting stuff in the broader zeitgeist.

But occasionally we treat ourselves to a real throw back and everyone benefits.

Being about the same degree of nerdiness, I introduced them to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy original radio series, which I happen to have on MP3. We all love absurdity, particularly of the British science fiction variety. The other night they asked me to put on the next episode in the queue and the next thing we knew we’d listened to a couple of hours in a row and were laughing uproariously.

Sure we were sitting around my iPod plugged into Brig’s amp and not a huge box that took up half of the room, but if felt very old fashioned and fun to just sit back and let the story lead you away without visuals. I love the radio medium and even if I get my favorite shows via podcast, I think radio still is relevant and can tell stories in a unique way.

I’m pretty well versed on the NPR canon, but are there any other radio shows, programs, or podcasts out there I should be listening to? I’ve got to start filling up a queue for a seriously long flight here soon, so help a girl out!

(image via)

History, Home, Humor

Louisa

“I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past.”
― Patrick Henry

When politicians talk about small town America, this is what they mean. I’m also convinced few of them spend any substantial time in them. I may be a city girl at heart, but it’s kind of great to know that places like this actually still exist tucked away and plugging along much as they always have.

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The historic courthouse and jail to the left. To this day, property auctions take place on the steps.

This courthouse is a bit later, but Louisa’s major claim to fame is that Patrick Henry began his law career here (his first big case was part of the lead up to the Revolution, when King George vetoed a Virginia law in question which the colonists saw as an overstep into their legislative authority. The rest is, extremely well recorded, history). Later he was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses to represent the county, where he kicked off his political one.

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The jailhouse which operated into the early 20th century and was apparently ranked as one of the worst in the country – because in its long history, it wasn’t renovated in any significant way. Rustic charm is all well and good, but not when you’re locked up, apparently. It’s a pretty good representation of 19th century local justice.

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Typical local hours. Very few things can afford to be open all day, every day around here.

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During the Civil War, the railroad was a major Confederate supply line, meaning that battles were fought all over the place. The railroad was also supposed to bring a degree of prosperity that, unfortunately, didn’t really make it into the 20th century. The rail station on the left has beautifully worked gables and was clearly once quite nice, but now it’s boarded up and empty except when the local feed store uses it for storage.

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Humor

Friday links (Tearing Hurry Edition)

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.”
― Lin Yutang, The Importance Of Living

Running errands today, working, and helping dad get a new house set up for renters tomorrow. What’s your weekend looking like?

Bringing back the table that started it all.

File under Badasses. No guns, no radios, no parachutes and so hardcore that taking one down earned a pilot the Iron Cross.

Every day this artist illustrates one of Jay-Z’s now famous 99 problems.

I admit it. I have no desire to participate.

I am sorry to all the cheese-mongers I must have pained over the years with my incorrect behavior.

Kill them all! Also, speaking of weird diseases they carry, don’t know if I mentioned this but there is a rare disease that some of them spread that makes the infected allergic to red meat. Or, what Jeff calls an entirely new level of Hell.

The Associated Press has only just forgiven the Duchess of Cambridge (side rant – I hate that people still call her Kate Middleton. Guys, she has a shiny new title and everything, use it) for not giving birth according to their schedule. I’ll let the Fug Girls take it from here, in their usual hilarious style.

I found this oddly, simply good advice.

This pleases me.

Now that Prince George of Cambridge is actually here (and the paparazzi can stand down for all of five minutes), Jezebel takes us on a brief tour of royal births and the portrayals of royal children through the ages. Also, the look of the lady enduring the c-section is both alarming and priceless. “Uh, excuse me. What the actual hell are you doing?” she seems to say.

Humor

Dog Moment

“Please stop picking ticks of me, I really hate it.”
– I imagine she’s thinking after I took a handful off of her after a long romp in the woods. She really is a good sport about it, though.

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Food, Home, Humor

Burgerology 101

“Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology.”
– Clive James

If I were up to a regular 5+ hour round trip, I can tell you where one of best burgers in Virginia is to be had: Blue Dog Art Cafe in Buena Vista. (Side whine, everything is far away out here, nothing is easy to get to. And poor Mum, this is the same town she teaches at, this is her regular commute!) I had to drop my sister off there the other day for a summer camp and unfortunately they weren’t planning on feeding the kids lunch on the first day, so I had to feed her before leaving her to her fate. Luckily for all concerned we’d passed a rather dilapidated sign on the way into town announcing this gem’s existence. So off we trotted off to support the local economy and eat the local cuisine.

Good. Choice.

Like many businesses in rural Virginia, there isn’t so much as a Facebook page for BDAC, much less a website. Don’t worry. Come visit and I’ll show you the way, like some wise mystic burger guide.

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Pardon the phone picture quality.

Buena Vista is right along the Appalachian Trail and has become a quiet, known only to insider hikers place to stay. Blue Dog Art Cafe actually has a spare room or two for hikers to spend the night. And their walls are covered with the signatures of hikers and where they are/were/started/ended up on the Trail.

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Behold the guestbook.

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Yes, there are deer heads everywhere. And you grab your own cutlery, coffee, and condiments. It’s great!

The menu is almost entirely dog based. The Yorkie, a veggie sandwich. The Irish Wolfhound, no idea but something with meat. But Snickers and I both opted for the Cowboy Joe burger.

Another. Good. Choice.

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Homemade chipotle sauce makes this sucker the glorious, perfectly cooked, bacon wrapped, nothing frozen at all beauty that it is. Those fries, unassuming as they seem, are actually quite deceptive. They’re called Freddie Fries and we couldn’t reach a consensus on their seasoning. We agree there’s something lemony in there along with sea salt, but beyond that it’s a mystery.

all images my own

Home, Humor, Life, Work

You Don’t Know What You’ve Got…

“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

Hey team, glad so many of your are still with me in spite of the crazy pre-scribbled posts I’ve been putting up (though I hope you have been enjoying the snapshots of local life).

Now, a quick vent. As gorgeous as it is, I understand what various family members have said about it being difficult to live out here. We are a good half hour to and hour away from basic things like grocery stores. And I’m not talking a dash on a suburban road, I’m talking a country two lane-r through the woods without shoulders and usually with at least one moderately size roadkill carcass along the way. Possibly stuck behind a very slow moving tractor.

Picking up my mother’s tasks means that I regularly lose several hours round trip on any given day. I’ve taken on quite a bit of the cooking and cleaning as well, plus I just try to help my family out when I come around to visit because I like doing so. But the most inconvenient thing has been trying to work reliably. It’s ten times harder here to do very basic things than I ever imagined possible.

h49CAD505Headache the first: semi-reliable internet. Back West Jeff and I complained about our internet which was, to be fair, not always good. But compared to here in Virginia it was luxurious! The town in which we live (and we live a good 15-20 minutes away from the center of town itself) is far enough off the beaten path that there is no real infrastructure to connect it up. My parents have to make due with a wifi hotspot creator which is so laughably bad it makes me want to cry. First and foremost it doesn’t hold a charge – for reasons the local service provider can’t explain satisfactorily – and second it only broadcasts a signal for about three minutes before dying – for reasons the local service provider also can’t explain. Dad’s already replaced it once in the month I’ve been here and it hasn’t helped at all.

Headache the second: mobile phone service. Mine vanished last Saturday and has yet to reemerge. Calls to the provider only serve to tell me that they are aware and working on it but can’t give me an estimate when coverage will be restored. Causing a minor panic because even though the internet at home is non-existent, I could still get and respond to work emails from my mobile. It’s been three days without that thing and I swear my blood pressure has spiked as I try to scramble to get work projects done borrowing my father’s mobile between his own calls and needs. I’ve started coming into work with him at 7:30 in the morning and borrowing an unused conference room (with permission of course) just to have a place with an internet connection.

I think my data needs rather perplex my family who by now are used to getting by with much less…but when your job is information gathering, blogging, social media management, and being able to respond quickly, the lack of connectivity is a legitimate terror. It’s barely Tuesday and I feel jittery and stressed trying to accomplish what should be quick and easy tasks that now stretch far longer than they should.

On the other hand, all whining can and should be kept to a minimum. Our visas have been approved and are on their way to us. Jeff flies in a week from today, which is an instant balm to my stress level. Weekends without the internet, though initially vexing, are really quite relaxing. Inconvenient work is a pain, but it won’t kill me. It’s also compelled me to learn some basic blogging skills – such as scheduling posts ahead of time, cheers.

History, Humor

Meet Cuckoo

“There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.”
― G.K. Chesterton

Oh hello Federalist-style-house, lover.

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I do love red brick colonial!

This beauty is Cuckoo, a local landmark for nearly two centuries now, and more or less site of where Jack Jouett set off on his famous ride. He’s considered the Virginian Paul Revere who rode to warn then Governor Thomas Jefferson that the British were coming…to capture the entire state legislature. The British were led by this guy, who aside from a banner British name, was so ruthless that he was in the inspiration for the villain in the Mel Gibson film The Patriot (the one who more or less slaughters an entire family in slow motion. Also played by Ciaran Hinds opposing the slave trade in Amazing Grace – clearly a nasty fellow all around). So, well done there. We wouldn’t have wanted Tommy J. to tangle with him.

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Like every other old house in the area, it was a work in progress, and additions were added as needed by the family.

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You can’t take two steps in this county without tripping over one of these historical markers. The area is lousy with Revolution and Civil War placards. It’s a historical infestation – the one vermin you welcome!

all images my own

Humor

Friday Links (Slings and Arrows Edition)

“The whole point of the week is the weekend.”
― Bones, TV show

ETA: Apologies for the delay, minions, the blighted internet has been down all day, I just got it up and running, and fear it could fail at any minute. That’s been a theme this week, the loss of internet, along with only intermittent phone coverage, selling the car (if any minions are in the market in a certain western state, do let me know), and getting our visas!  …Only to be told that the consulate can’t ship them because FedEx doesn’t recognize Jeff’s current zip code, even though it’s the one he mailed off our applications from in the first place. We collectively resisted the urge to bang our heads against something and came up with a solution but seriously. I just want them in our hands already – although we’re really impressed at how quick the turnaround time was for getting them. End addition.

Very busy, must dash. Political people to try and get a hold of and major luxury brands to wrangle interviews from. And cleaning, I must clean. Gah, my vacation is very similar to my regular life, n’est pas? Except for the fact that I’m trying to find ways to use up a truly alarming amount of frozen deer meat in the freezer, that’s definitely new.

Gentlemen, ha. Everyone should read these.

People, we must control ourselves better when the heat rises! Such culinary behavior is totally unwarranted.

Royal Baby Watch reached fever pitch this week. This was one of the better, less invasive features on the subject.

In case I haven’t mentioned it (re: you’re probably sick of hearing it), but I’m tingling with excitement about getting back to Britain and its theatres. Stephen Fry – my spirit animal – is making it worse.

Blog find of the week, which compares past and present, and particularly the influence (and sometimes shameless copycatting of) high art in fashion.

Two great men of letters tell us how to make tea. The comments are equally funny.

Hat tip to one of the girls for this post, because of my recent photo-romance with derelict.

I just want to make everyone aware that this twitter feed exists. You are welcome. It may be that my week was a bit too frantic, but I found this hysterical.

Both lovely and sad.

Home, Humor

Pass the Honey (a bit trickier out here)

“I’m covered in bees!”
― Eddie Izzard

My Dad was born in the wrong century, his real vocation is to be a gentleman farmer. Unfortunately he’s a bit hobbled by things like the 21st century and neighbors too close for his liking, but he makes up for these inconveniences by working on his land to turn it into a wild kind of estate.

His projects have run the gamut, including clearing a handful of acres for a meadow, digging for a pond (I’ve driven the excavator and the power trip is enormous!), digging a well and building up a natural stone wall around it, planting an orchard (a bit sparse still but we have high hopes), and planting berry bushes. All of these are ongoing, and lot of fun to help with when we’re in town.

But as far as I’m concerned, his most interesting venture has been beekeeping.

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Amy and Ryan were in town and tagged along like troopers when I wanted to watch him start the summer harvest. As a reward they got to witness the (hilarious, I’m sure) sight of me running to escape a disgruntled worker that at one point tangled up in my ponytail. I’m just glad he didn’t summon his friends!

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Nothing alarming happening here, oh no, sir. Just keep very still.

Wild honey, especially from the forest, looks nothing like what you buy in the store. It’s as dark as molasses and almost punchy with flavor.

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This venture has been completely hobby based. Dad’s built up his supply of equipment and gear piece by piece and solved problems as they’ve come up.

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To pick one example, not entirely at random, the problem of bears has been solved by that electric fence. No one has figured out a solution to the problem of bears in the neighborhood, however.

Once he smokes the bees and takes the hive boxes he wants to harvest, the next step is to extract the honey.

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You use an electric hot knife to slice off the cap of the comb and a machine that uses centrifugal force to spin the honey out of it. Then you take the comb (still intact) back to the bees who will refill it with honey for themselves and use it to survive the winter. Resourceful animals, they make litres of the stuff a year. Dad and I experimented around a bit one evening, entertainment being somewhat harder to find around here, and turned some of those hive caps into a brick of pure beeswax. When you need to strain a pot of  boiling hot liquid, a t-shirt is a normal substitute for cheesecloth right?

The only problem is that we can’t quite eat the stuff fast enough. Amy went home with a jar of it, the better to drink American style tea, my dear, but we need to figure out some other schemes too.

all images my own