“Hi, this is [ahem] from the History department.  We’ve just received a package that appears to contain a human skull.  Could you send someone over, please?”
– [ahem] from History department

See above.

We sent over an officer half expecting to uncover a Halloween decoration with “Made in China” stamped merrily across it.  Imagine our surprise then when he carted back a box containing two and half genuine human noggins!  Look to be Native American remains, they’re trying to trace them now.  Naturally the desecration of human bodies and disturbing of Indian remains is both illegal and (especially at this time of year) liable to open portals into the nether world, but sue me, I’m thrilled.  I dashed back to the patrol room, slapped on a pair of plastic gloves, and got to handle them under the officer’s watchful eye.  It’s the most interesting thing that’s happened in a couple of weeks!  And if I drop dead in the near future, you can snuff it up to an ancient curse.

In less bizarre but equally exciting news, poodles, come back tomorrow for an exciting new giveaway!

Note: the prize will not include federally protected remains, items, artwork, etc.  Apologies in advance for any disappointment.