Life January 16, 2009January 20, 2009

Do Not Disturb

“What are you doing this weekend, anything fun?”
“Sleeping. I can’t wait.”
-Data and C.

This is mostly fantasy since there's snow on the ground, but I feel just about as good

I submit that, to a working woman, nothing could be as remotely glorious as a three day weekend. The sheer amount of possibility is fantastic, all those ways to waste time! Half of the joy is making a list of things that need to be done and then blowing off each, one at a time like picking petals off a daisie (she folds laundry, she folds it not…). I’m debating not even getting out of bed until noon on Monday (which isn’t a civil right, but is definitely still worthy of celebration).

Tuesday I’ll spend clued to CNN.com to watch the inauguration, Thursday is Girl Night with my friends from London, and I’m fairly positive Venice and I will hit up at least one store…but until then, I think I will live in my flannel pants, watch old movies that I’ve rented, go running for long periods of time at a luxuriously slow-burn kind of pace, go food shopping only at dire need, and double my chocolate intake on the weekend.

Work January 15, 2009November 3, 2009

To Catch a Thief

“They said they were just doing it for fun.”
“To the tune of Grand Theft Auto? What is this, a video game?!”
-Detective South and C.

Law enforcement, even from a secretarial standpoint, is pretty interesting. I’d never make a career out of it, but I’m getting a lot of fun info on people that I’ll hopefully be able to turn into good writing one day. But some of the stuff we deal with is stranger than fiction, no one could make this stuff up!

That big case that the detectives cracked? Turns out a bunch of college freshman went on a burglary spree that eventually culminated in finding dropped keys taking the car, and using it for a week before dumping. It only took one tip and somehow the detectives managed to unravel it all, high five, guys. But, heck, these kids weren’t even born in the same decade as me!

Another robbery occurred yesterday in the campus library. Thanks to a description by the victim, we found the stolen item listed for sale on Craigslist, matched the seller info to Facebook (of all things!) where he was handily wearing the exact same clothes in half of his online photos as in the security footage, and voila!

Oh, and who gets to do all the paperwork for these sorts of things (all criminal counts for our friends the car thieves that all have to be recorded, filed, copied, put into correct format, and hand delivered to the county attorneys)? Your friendly neighborhood secretary, C.!

Hopefully since they managed to solve almost every theft case from the end of last year in one feel swoop, I’ll be able to get some of the more mundane work done that I haven’t for a couple weeks. Office supplies must be ordered, stats must be entered, letters must be written. Obviously I get to do all the fun stuff around here…

Home, Life January 13, 2009May 22, 2009

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

“I hate the word housewife; I don’t like the word homemaker either. I want to be called Domestic Goddess.”
-Roseanne

I was up past midnight cleaning my flat for our semesterly cleaning check, even though out of sheer laziness our complex management simply decided to forgo it last Fall. Slowly over the years, as I’ve grown up and moved into a place relatively my own, I have become convinced of a fundamental war between good and evil: order and chaos locked in eternal combat, and their battleground is housekeeping. I’m pretty sure the Apocalypse will happen in my apartment.

I am become Cleaning, the destroyer of sanity

There are divine entities at work too, I’m positive. There is a malicious God of the Dryer who demands the sacrifice of socks to appease his hunger. These hapless cotton victims vanish into an alternate dimension never to be seen again, that’s the only explanation I can satisfactorily come to. I bought two dozen a couple months ago, I’m down to nine (not pairs, total). Also, my flat in particular is plagued by a Dust Demon that periodically covers all it sees with a tangible layer, courtesy of a filthy vent (thanks, management, for helping us out with that). Another entity is our resident Garbage Disposal Goddess who is by turns benevolent and heartless, currently the latter. Thankfully for us all the Second Coming of the Vacuum redeemed us all (three months after it died, a brighter shiny new version arose to take its place).

I’m sorry to say my flatmates aren’t always the cleanest (neither am I, but at least I try!) and occasionally they call Domestic Divine Wrath down upon us. The most recent and notable example is my flatmates leaving two plastic jugs of milk (I’ll call one Sodom and the other Gomorrah) out on the counter for at least 5 days. I woke up one morning, late as usual, and was scampering about to get to work on time when upon entering the kitchen, I found the jugs had exploded all over my counter. Something resembling the unholy love child of cottage cheese and sour cream had erupted everywhere and I was late to work because I had to clean it up or asphyxiate. I suppose that makes me a great crusader at some level but at the time all I was was pissed and, I feel, righteously angry.

This little incident broke the camel’s back for me. When J. came over that night I snapped, very uncharacteristically, “I’ve decided we should get married. Next week.”
Kudos to him, he understood perfectly. He just sighed and asked, “What happened?”
I will say one argument in favor of matrimony and child bearing would be the eventual slave labor offspring provide doing chores. Maybe that’s the reason my mother had four of us.

Anyway, after several hours scrubbing, chemicals, vacuuming, and many socks sacraficed, my flat looks pretty good. The forces of Good have prevailed, for a week at least.

Life January 9, 2009January 12, 2009

TGIF

“If you must have motivation, think of Friday.”
-Noel Coward

Was disgustingly ill yesterday with everything from full body muscle cramps, to migraines, to nausea. I made it half and hour at work before rather inelegantly losing my breakfast and deciding the only rational place to be was in bed, I only managed to get up when J. brought painkillers sometime in the afternoon.

Today, thankfully, the plague seems to have passed, but I’m perplexed my a question of arithmetic. When I was in England and gone for over a week I returned to a horrid pile of work on my desk, that I managed to get through (surprisingly) before lunch. Riddle me this! I took yesterday off sick, and have barely managed to scratch the surface of my projects today. Does not compute!

On a happier note, I have a subvertive plan for fun with Venice this weekend, will enjoy restocking my “Read These First” bookshelf from Barnes and Noble and the public library, and fully plan on spending as much time on Sunday as possible horizontal and comatose!

Work January 6, 2009

Just Another Manic…Tuesday

“Is it just me, or does lying in a hammock on a beach while sipping down a virgin strawberry daiquiri sound really good right about now?!”
-Tink

Small Dog is a little under the weather...

Some people loathe Mondays with a passion, I am not one of them. My anger is reserved for Tuesdays. This is because even though you’ve survived the first day of a week…you’re still stuck at the beginning of it. Today is proving no exception. Six days into the new year, I’m happy to report my goal is still holding up (which comparatively to years past is pretty good) and I’m still getting up earlier and eating breakfast. The downside? No amount of good intention or resolution stands up against the twisted machinations of the universe. I was up, showered, made up, coiffed, and fed by 7:30 so I could head out to work a bit earlier and beat the almost knee deep snow in my parking lot. Trouble was, my keys went missing.

Along with Tuesdays I am plauged by missing keys. Freshman year I kept my roomates in a state of constant irritation as every morning I inevitably turned our dormroom upside down in a frantic search for them. This morning my entire flat fell prey to my ravages.

So, couple missing keys with bad weather to make me a half hour late to work, toss in a power outage that knocked out our office for several minutes (to boost hope of our being sent home early, only to have it wrenched cruelly away when the lights flickered on again), and a bad hair day…not even my new leopard print shoes can bring me joy. And it is a bleak day indeed when shoes can’t makes my spirits soar!

Life January 2, 2009

Year in Review, Preview of Coming Attractions

What I’ve been most grateful for in ’08:

-Graduating
-Finding a job so soon after graduating
-Getting to live in London for 2 months
-The friends I made there, life without Marie would be bleak indeed
-The friends I made here at home, I’d be lost without my BFF Venice and my work wife Tink
-My family, goobers that they are
-My sort-of family, my “sister” Peregrine and my godfamily without whom ’08 would have been catastrophic
-J., it isn’t often that dating someone makes me a better person, but he’s just awesome like that
-Getting a car. Tears of joy.

What I’m looking forward to in ’09

-Working out more, sadly necessary even if it’s the go-to resolution
-Eating better, I’ve been on a health kick I’d like to keep up
-Getting better at my job
-Writing more
-Saving $$$
-Jeopardizing my previous entry by buying things for my flat and for myself
-Spending time with friends
-Hopefully getting back to England at some point with Marie and some other friends
-Making headway into my Must-Read and Must-Watch lists of books and movies

Just over a year ago when I started blogging my goal for the coming year was to be happy, and I’m currently the happiest I’ve ever been. Usually I’d think that it was about time for the other shoe to drop, but in the spirit of the new year I think I’ll table the cynicism for a while yet and just enjoy the ride.

Home, Travel January 2, 2009January 21, 2009

Happy Christmas/New Year

“Ma’am, there’s something a little off with your passport.”
“(Ulp).”
“Ma’am?”
“Cold hand of fear. What’s the problem?”
-UK border guard and C.

border-control Apart from that one tiny hiccup, I had a great holiday. Apparently, despite current dates, special stamps, and a British visa, my passport lost its premium when I was no longer a legal military dependent of my father (graduation day in August). Luckily for me those visas, stamps, and current dates seemed to convince Her Magesty’sGovernment that I was not coming into the country for nefarious purposes and I was admitted to “sort it all out with the Americans.”

My mother and I got into a fight (predictably) the first day I was there, my first brother Giovanni is now HUGE and my second, Buddy, is not far behind. Somehow since summer my ragamuffin little sister Snickers has turned into a girl who wants to cut and dye her hair and wear clothes that are not my brothers’ castoffs, it’s weird. I took my dog on long walks through the English countryside, feeding ponies, letting her chase birds through farmers fields, and taking pictures of Gypsy caravan wagons (I hear Marie, Kels, and Abfab grinding their teeth already, but I did bring Cadburys, girls, so don’t hurt me!)

My mother (after the fight was forgotten, which took about a day), sister, and I took a girls day and went to one of my favorite villages, Lavenham. It’s a medieval wool town that’s absolutely charming, mostly because sometime in the Victorian period someone decided to resurface some of the houses and pulled off the drab outer layer…to discover perfectly preserved Tudor bases beneath! The whole old town was similarly stripped and now High Street is a marvel of wildly crooked houses in striped black and white! We went to the world’s greatest antique shop so my mom could expand her collection of 18thcentury crockery, I could find a few presents, and Snickers could root through everything. We finished with lunch at The Swan, a fantastic hotel made from a medieval ale house with massive fireplaces, old dark wood, and great food!

The Swan, even better on the inside that out, if you can believe it!

The Christmas party we went to was full of Americans as well as Brits so we combined Cajun-fried turkey with paper-crowns for a mixed holiday! We had Victorian fortune telling fish (put the little cellophane slip in your hand and however it moves reveals something about you, but I’m not telling what mine was!) and cracker (you and a mate each hold an end and deafen everybody).

New Year’s Eve was spent packing, New Year’s Day was spent flying, now I’m home and trying to think up some resolutions, I’ll get back to you on that. Hope 2009 brings all the best, friends!

Home, Travel, Work December 22, 2008December 22, 2008

Evil Forces at Work

I must stop this whole thing!
-The Grinch

The weather gods are against me! I fly out to London tomorrow and currently the snow is inches deep and still falling in my western city. And through Minnesota too! Every ten seconds I look out the windows at the ever rising white stuff and have to make a conscious effort not to gnaw my nails down to the knuckles as I envision being trapped in Minneapolis with nothing but moose and my thwarted rage for company on Christmas Day.

I have a suitcase full of presents, it’s my younger brother’s birthday on the 27th, I haven’t seen the other brother in over a year, my little sister is getting bigger all the time and the next time I see her she’ll be 12, I want to sing carols at the top of my lungs while my mom and I cook Roast Beast, and I want my dog!

Why why WHY must the fates ally against me? Every year I go through this panic. Freshman year I was caught in D.C. for a night due to a broken down plane, another year there was a near miss flying out of NY. This year I’m cutting it very close by flying in on Christmas Eve.

On a more positive note, the snow is slowing and they are closing the university early so I can finish packing before heading up to Fairy’s house to spend the night. Fingers crossed for good travel, best of luck to all and to all a goodnight!

Work December 18, 2008December 18, 2008

We’re in the Money

Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.
-Helen Gurley Brown

So Christmas is costing close to a $900.00 for me this year. BREATHE, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Half of it is airfare to get back to England, the rest is presents and postage for assorted family, godfamily, friends, coworkers, boyfriend and family, birthdays, and the bevy of newborn babies that have put in appearances.

Small Dog is rolling in it! And will not share!

However, I noticed something funny while doing my usual bank account check the other day. I read the list and checked it twice and still it remained. Somehow, despite rent, mobile phone bill, food, and date funds, there was money left over. Lots. And then when I checked my debit/credit cards and saw that even though all my Christmas payments had gone through, there was still money left over. Lots. Not even counting my savings where I have the tidy sum of my plane ticket tucked away to pay my dad with (he actually bought it, I’m paying half). AND payday is friday when I’ll get even more.

Did I ever complain about adulthood? Did I ever question it’s intricacies and complexities? Did I ever muse despondently on it’s ethical mires and shifting sense of identity? I take it all back. Right now, at this very moment, adulthood is AWESOME!

Life December 17, 2008

Walking (Sliding/Tripping/Dying) In a Winter Wonderland

“Weather’s turned. You’ll have to give up your heels.”
“No way! These things double as ice picks!”
-Doll and C.

We just got a major dumping of snow and I’m frolicking from my desk like a little elf. I don’t care that it’s inconvenient, that it makes getting anywhere a misery, or that it turns the world in to a gorgeous death trap, I love snow. I love snow angels, sledding, snowball fights, and shoving it down peoples’ backs (I’m malicious. It’s not exactly a secret). Come May when blizzards are still blowing I’m sure I’ll be miserable, but in the meantime I’ll be out in the ice.

On the downside, driving in the snow. New experience for me. No mishaps yet, but I’m sure they will follow.

Small Dog Syndrome