Humor, Shopping

Things I Want to Buy But Can’t

“It’s a horrible thing to have champagne taste and a soda budget.”
– Mum

I have to keep reminding myself that as fabulous as I am in my head, I still haven’t managed to finagle a book deal, become the mistress of some Italian magnate, or convince Society to sponsor me as a witty companion…ergo I am still poor.   Especially since I am still financially recovering from Christmas shopping for approximately thirty million people (and/or the items on my lust list are prohibitively expensive and I could never justify it):

Let's start with the most expensive and unnecessary shall we? Because I cannot have it.
An absolutely gorgeous print from Spanish artist Blanca Gomez, and which costs $12 just to ship. Which does not matter because I cannot have it.
Also comes in Navy, which is sold out of my size. But it doesn't matter because I cannot have it.
Holidays, Humor, Money

Money Honey

“Guys! Problem! I’m huge, I’m hurting people, and I’m misunderstood!”
“Just like the IRS!”
– The Fairly Odd Parents

Hello, darlings.  Did we all survive the late nights, vicious hangovers, and the guilt of (most likely) already breaking one or two resolutions?  Yes?  Excellent, sounds like you had a great holiday!

We went to a mocktail party at GS and GBIL’s place on New Year’s Eve and spent most of the weekend on the couch recuperating from late nights.  I was unaccountably grouchy, still riding the Birth Control roller coaster, but things look to be improving.  I’m old and tired at 24, pumpkins.

Now that we are emerging from the wreckage of a truly great holiday season, J. and I are taking stock.  Financially speaking this was a rough winter on us because we did Christmas and paid the (exorbitant, outrageous, soul-bleeding) fees for grad school applications all at the same time.  Higher Education is running a racket in this country – pay to apply, pay to get in, pay to register, fees, books, pay to graduate, pay to get copies of transcripts and/or diplomas, woof.  So we paid a small fortune to apply and, once we figure out where we’re going, we get to start the process of taking out loans to finance more school.

Ergo we’re filing taxes the moment that we can, got to build up our reserve again.  The goal is a healthy pile in our savings that we can live off of for the year J. is in his program.  That way we will only spend half of our lives and have to sell just one or two of our children to pay it off.  A good plan, n’est pas?

Family, Friends, Humor, Life

2010, We Hardly Knew Ye

“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.”
– Oprah Winfrey

A decade, dears.  There have been revolutions, wars, natural disasters.  There have been cures for diseases, leaps in technology, triumphs of humanity.  The iPod is approaching its 10th anniversary.  I’m 10 years on since starting high school…where does time go, exactly?

A big decade for me, all things considered.  Lots of good stuff happened, some bad as well but surprisingly little in comparison I find (which belies all my complaining, shhh).  My small galaxy of people had a pretty stellar year too.  Jane had to move three times in one year as she and her husband struggled with the economy, jobs, and life, but now they seem pretty settled (and much closer to me than California!).  Janssen had a lovely little girl.  Wise is about to follow Jannsen’s maternal lead any second now and her husband got a clerkship post that they are thrilled about.  Hennessy got married and bought a house.  Sav is graduating and her husband got into the grad school of his choice – hurray!  Venice moved (which I’m still not over) but it was the right choice for her and Val and they have a bright future ahead.  Peregrine also moved back to DC, has a fabulous job and a very special – but sadly top secret – project she’s working on.  Scarlett is in grad school in New York, dealing with personal demons (aren’t we all?) but doing so with her usual clear-eyed honesty and personal flair.  Angel got a great new job.  Margot is having some truly heinous battles in the teaching craft, but I’ve never seen her more awesome, (which, if you knew her, you would realize is a statement of gargantuan proportions).  Dad retired, Mum got a job teaching at university and they moved to the US to enjoy retirement (by which I mean, Dad flung himself into manual labor to turn a patch of East Coast backwoods into an estate).  Gio graduated high school and is on to uni himself.  Buddy and Snickers started at a new school in a new country and are doing swimmingly.

Next year will find J. graduated and off to grad school, goodness knows where.  Most likely we’ll be moving as all but one of the schools he’s applied to are in different states and/or countries.  2011 will be a year of adventures and I’m thrilled.  It’s been too long since I’ve had one.

Obligatory Goals:
Shop less.
Eat better.
Save more.
Exercise longer.
Love harder.
Complain less.
Anticipate more.

Hope the New Year brings you all the adventures you desire, kittens.  See you on the other side.

Humor, Husband, PBS

Hello, Lover!

“Bestow thy flickering light forever.”
– Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

You haven’t heard from me much, piglets.  Shall I tell you why?  And shall we agree that you won’t judge me about it – at least not very much?

Well, as you may recall, J. and I canceled our cable.  Our cable company, being the dirty rotten sort that they are, was going to hike our monthly fee to over a hundred dollars!  Outrageous!  If you haven’t noticed, you can watch most shows online these days (completely legally, even!), so paying $100 for something you can get for free is ludicrous even by cable companies’ skewed logic.  We gleefully turned in our modem and bade adieu over a lunch break.

We were sheepishly astonished at how much free time we had after severing all ties.  Embarrassed really.  J. missed his sports channels, but he has several friends in the area to watch sports with at their houses (his own loving wife having still not quite learned to love ESPN).  The real blow for me was giving up PBS (love of my life).  However, using our TV just for movies was a good choice in a lot of ways, and I still had the internet to indulge in this Masterpiece Mystery – speaking of which, have you seen Sherlock yet?  No?!  Find it and watch it at once.

But then.  Then.

J. bought me a digital antenna for Christmas.  I now have not one but five PBS channels plus several others this magical little box sitting on our TV stand plucked out of the ether.  I like that guy so much.

And thus, I am as good as dead to the word.

Sigh. I have missed thee.
Family, Food, Holidays, Humor

Food Coma

Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
~Jim Davis

Hello, darlings.  All alive out there, no major holiday-induced injuries?  Good.  We spent this holiday with J.’s family.  Wrestling with nephews, performing in a small Christmas concert organized by nieces, and eating!

Honestly, I can’t remember eating so much anytime in recent memory.  I struggle with eating enough, I just don’t get hungry very often – much to the confusion of my husband who marvels that I can survive on a diet that’s a fraction of his.  Small amounts of food fill a small body up…usually.

No more pie! Just leave me!

I went completely overboard this weekend!  Cinnamon Pecan French Toast, ham and piles of western potatoes (meaning slathered in sour cream, cheese, and onions), my culinary genius sister-in-law’s baked ziti, and not nearly enough salad.  To say nothing of the goodies that came in stockings.  And the candy scattered all over three houses.  Oh dear.

Which, as you may have guessed, means that the obligatory New Year’s diet starts a bit sooner this year.  The combined forces of Birth Control, laziness, and the all-consuming desire I have to hibernate in winter have turned my physique inside out and that ends today!

Maybe.

Humor, Work

Stir. Crazy.

“The cure for boredom is curiosity.  There is no cure for curiosity.”
– Ellen Parr

Minions.

I’ve done it.

It took me three days of no work coupled with a hyperactive personality, but I’ve done it.

I’ve come to the end of the internet.

Save me.

NOTHING LEFT TO CHEW OR READ OR WRITE OR DESTROY OR CLEAN OR BAKE OR SHOP FOR OR...

 

Humor, Work

Are We On Holiday Yet?!

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.  For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much – the wheel, New York, wars and so on – whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.  But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man – for precisely the same reasons.
~Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

All this down time at the office leaves too much time for internet surfing.  And internet surfing leads, as you know, to things like the following:

Humor, Office, Work

Correction! Very, Very Dinted!

“Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.”
– Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson

For the love of chocolate, kittens! Yesterday there was a lovely covering of white muffling everything. Today there is a sprawling death trap of white, hell bent on destroying your elders and devouring your young! J. had to dig out our car this morning and I was over half an hour late because we could only move at a crawl through unploughed streets. Wise was an hour late. Lots of people still haven’t showed up, several probably just won’t. Cars are getting stuck all over the place.

In spite of the weather we are throwing Wise’s baby shower today, but if it keeps coming down, I wouldn’t be surprised if the administration orders people home early.

The practical upshot in this mess is that trying to climb in the car from the wrong side, carrying Christmas presents and baby shower gifts, using my heels as ice picks for traction, and J. having to drop me off in the middle of a parking lot to wade through a foot of snow and slush…means that I finally got up the gumption to buy a decent pair of boots.

Holidays, Humor, Work

The Snow Lay…Not Dinted

“Where the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even…”
– Good King Wenceslas

Dumplings!

That horrid cold is 99.5% vanquished, my Christmas shopping is 99.5% done, and I chopped off…ha!  Only about half of my hair.  I was feeling a change somewhat in advance of the new year so off it went, from mid-back to above my shoulders.

And so, I’m back at work and twiddling my thumbs because campus is vacant and covered in a soft, undisturbed cover of white (which is growing thicker by the hour).  There is very little do at work…and so much to do at home!  I could finish wrapping presents, be baking something, be working out to counteract all said baking.  I could be wrapped up in a blanket sipping tea and watching Christmas movies.  Yikes…on that note, I could do some of the laundry I’ve been avoiding all week…