The Reading Woman

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be thrown with great force.”
– Dorothy Parker

image via
image via

This sounds like such a stupid thing to say, but it’s true: I’ve rediscovered reading.  Well, that’s not exactly it, let’s say rather, I’ve recommitted to it.

When I was a kid I would wolf down novels by the bucketful, and my reading list was pretty impressive.  The highlight of the month was getting the book catalogs that I would lovingly peruse and circle the tomes I wanted.  And don’t get me started on the annual book fairs – those were heaven.  Many were the days that I would scarf down my food between classes and spend the lunch period devouring one series after another.

As an early teenager and inspired by Emma (though perhaps she was not the best example) and Little Women, I took seriously the idea that I needed to read some books, whether or not I liked them, because they were important and were part of a well rounded individual’s cultural knowledge.  At thirteen I trudged through Caesar’s Commentaries on the Gallic War and a few of the other classical books that pack my parents’ shelves – because I was going to a educated lady, damn it!

At fifteen when the powers that be chucked us off to the Pacific, where the size of my school’s library – to say nothing of the school itself – was unsettlingly small, I trudged on.  More of my parents’ books, and eventually trying to augment my conversationally-good-but-writing-challenged French with the literature (with my teacher’s blessing, while the rest of my class watched movies dubbed into French instead).  It took weeks but I managed Rousseau’s Julie, ou la nouvelle Héloïse – with the help of a French grammar book and dictionary.

University was a dream because I got my degree in European Studies with a minor in History, which meant I spent four years reading on subjects that fascinated me.  Read this book on piracy in early America, do research on the last reining empress of China for a practice thesis paper, analyze The Beggar’s Opera for class, and get through the chapters on the Belgian Counter Reformation?  Sir, yes sir!

But since graduating, the truth is I’ve gotten intellectually lazy.  The media consuming culture around me requires people to take in information in short, truncated batches (which I truly think has started to rewire my brain to expect data in 140 characters or less).  Much of public discourse requires participants to know the talking points and soundbites that back up their opinions, but seldom the deeper underlying issues and philosophies.  I can instantly click to any topic I want from the comfort of my chair, instead of going to a library, talking to someone who knows about the subject, or otherwise physically engaging in any way with other people or the world.

None of this is an excuse, I know, but I honestly believe that being an educated and well-rounded person is paradoxically more challenging now than a decade ago.  We are surrounded by more information than ever before, but people (or maybe just the university students I’m inundated with) seem increasingly incapable of carrying that information in their own head – since a smartphone is much easier.  Or making connections and drawing conclusions.  Or engaging in critical thinking.  And if I’m honest, my own ability to do so is waning.  And I think it’s because I’m reading less.  There is no doubt in my mind but that I could not now manage an 18th century novel in another language – and I’d probably give up after a few days of trying.

But the other night, I got a book from the library that I’d been waiting for for weeks.  I took it home, told J. that I was going to be busy for the rest of the night, shut myself in our bedroom, and took in all four hundred some odd pages in one sitting.  And when I was done, I felt refreshed.  Invigorated, even.  And then I grabbed another book.

So, like I said, I’ve recommitted.  One of my resolutions is going to be to regain some teenager enthusiasm and take charge of my own education again.  Starting with more reading.  And I’m back on track, I think.

Happy Christmas!

Time for another true I’m-not-really-an-adult-at-all-inside confession.  One of my favorite descriptions of Christmas comes from The Muppet Christmas Carol: “It is the summer of the soul in December.”

And so it is!  The collective decision that right around the darkest, longest night of the year, when most of the vegetation is dead, most places are colder, and supplies are running low, is the perfect time to celebrate belief/hope, kith and kin, and all the good things is one of the great cultural triumphs of mankind.  Or so I think.

Hope you and yours have a whole lot of comfort and joy this holiday season, whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, New Year, or just a couple of days off here and there!

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Friday Links XLVI (Yep, stil alive)

Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.
– Lenora Mattingly Weber, Extension

You guys do know I continue on the back, right?  No?  Oops...
You guys do know I continue on the back, right? No? Oops…

The world didn’t end, the zombies didn’t rise, and nothing came through any portal.  Alas!  We’re just getting through the last couple of hours before the Christmas holiday officially kicks of.  I have girl dates with Venice and Angel (both visiting from out of town) this weekend and then we spend Monday and Tuesday being cheerfully bossed about by nieces and nephews – as the sole purpose for our existence is to amuse them, and we know it!  What are your Christmas plans, my pumpkins?

Who did the paperwork on this?!

What do you think of this list, anything important missed?  (I’m trying to streamline my life here, with a move coming up.)

Perspective.

This Pintrest board is fantastic!

This tumblr is equal in fantastic-ness.

Holiday party dresses are clearly on my mind.  This one is honestly more my style, but this one is calling to my inner flapper with it’s sparkly siren song…

On the flight to my parents house I read a fabulous article in the airline’s magazine (an underrated publication, I feel) that I had to share!  …Classic me, I wrote down the title and promptly lost it.  But thanks to the magic of the internets, voila.  Tell me what you think I really enjoyed the piece (I also want to befriend her so I can go to her summer luncheons).

Last minute gift that also does good?  Have no fear.

Anyone else think the price tag is, shall we say, a bit much?

So, moment of shameless bragging.  The other week someone said that J. looked like a mix between Jonathan Rhys Meyer and Benedict Cumberbatch.  You can imagine the smugness – coupled with feeling suddenly okay with having children someday as those are some genes that clearly need to be passed on.  I also have a friend (Scarlett) who is an absolute dead wringer for Alessandra Ambrosia, go figure.  These  are also pretty impressive.

This is very interesting to me, and I’m curious as to your thoughts, minions.  There seems to be, in some spheres, a bit of a backlash against the omnipresence of media and instant availability, particularly with social media.  I know a lot of people who are dialing back their online profiles and involvement, many report feeling happier and having a great deal more time on their hands.  Do you guys think this is a broader trend? Good or bad?  Let me know what you think!

The weekly sheep, courtesy of the other blog.

Sing To Me, Muse, of the Rage of C. Smalldog…

“Get mad, then get over it.”
~ Colin Powell

This holiday season has been fraught and no mistake.  The weekend was a good chance to sort of recover from some personal stuff last week – many thanks to Margot whose Christmas present to me was a ticket to a concert that we went to together.  Christmas music is wonderfully soothing.

And I needed to be soothed because last week I was angry.  It’s not very Christmas-y but deal, kittens, holiday mirth will soon resume.

Anger-and-HealthI think anger is a hugely underrated emotion.  It’s something we’re supposed to tamp down, turn away from, or disavow.  I disagree.  Granted there is a difference between allowing yourself to feel anger and being consumed by it and that should be appreciated, but if you are a healthy, balanced person who is in control of yourself and your actions I say: go ahead, get angry.

I don’t mind feeling it.  I jokingly (but semi-seriously) refer to it as my “backup emotion” because when able to choose between feeling hurt or sad or angry, I will always pick the latter.  I don’t really get personally offended, but I do get angry.  Generally feeling it means I perceive that a wrong has been done within my sphere of influence, and feeling it usually motivates me to do something to try and either fix or ameliorate the wrong.

It has practical benefits as well.  The house is never so clean as it is after a particularly bad day at work.  My involvement in events and causes is ten times more stalwart when I’ve been personally angered by a behavior or policy.  I can cook a week’s worth of food in a couple of hours, to say nothing of a pile of baked goods, when properly hyped up on righteous indignation.  It’s invigorating, it’s energizing, it gets stuff done.

I admit I’m usually pretty well in control of myself.  I learned to control my anger as a teenager and change it from something that could be destructive into something constructive.  To use it as a motivator instead of a end of itself; it’s one of the best personal lessons I’ve ever learned.

The trouble with anger, at least as I’ve experienced it, is that it’s a fossil fuel: it can get you a long way, you can power a whole Industrial Revolution with it maybe, but it’s a finite resource.  Sooner or later, it’s not sustainable.  No healthy person can feel angry all of the time – it takes up way too much energy!  Oh, I’ve lasted months on it, but in the end it runs out, and if the thing that made you angry is still hovering around, meddling in your life, it can be really easy to feel exhausted, hounded, and generally just really disheartened.

And I’ve never really been able to get a grip on being disheartened, I’ve not learned to channel that into optimism or anything really useful.  It mostly congeals into sad, tight little ball of stress that I tuck down somewhere and try to get over.  Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes not.  Last week I managed a lot on anger, but I ended up disheartened pretty quickly and was surprised by how draining that was too.

Thank God for support teams, and no mistake!  Husband, parents, and good friend do a lot to make you take heart again.  Ultimately all anger burns itself out.  I’m now trying to learn, when I start feeling grim, to just outlive the bastards.

But I’m curious.  Does anyone else have a backup emotion, or something potentially bad that they have managed to harness for motivation?  Is it healthy for you personally?  Unhealthy, but it works?  How do you cope?

Friday Links XLV (Don’t Want to Live On This Planet Edition)

“Exhaustion and exasperation are frequently the handmaidens of legislative decision.”
Barber B. Conable

headdeskI’ve been a bit distant this past while, and for once it’s not because I am lazy.  There was a bit of a… community kerfuffle that happened that I (naturally) am involved in that’s been going down .  And to be honest, it was stinging, exhausting, embittering, and generally just very tough.  So I took a break from other projects to focus, to deal, and to rest when I needed it.  Phone calls with friends (shout out, Savvy) and parents helped, J. helped, and all was fine.  Or it will be.

And then a man shot and killed many children today and I’m trying really hard not to feel generally depressed about the state of humanity as a group.

Here are your links.  Let’s send kind thoughts to people who have been hurt, in whatever way, and remember that Advent is a wonderful time for rest, renewal, healing, and general goodwill.  Even when it’s hard.

I’ve been around guns my whole life, my family owns several, my father taught me to hunt and to care for and clean firearms before he ever put that first dinky single shot tube in my hands.  J. and I have discussed gun ownership for the future.  And I say gun control is a topic that desperately needs more informed discussion and less inflamed rhetoric.

London, London, mere months ’til London…  London really is getting me through.  If anything yanks it out from under me, you will find me catatonic in the fetal position somewhere.  I have no faith in anything this week…

I need to be able to buy this for someone (preferably someone who’s read the book and is just as adoring of it as I am).

*Snicker.

I’m about a foot too short to join the team, but I still thought this was fun.

The Australian PM made my day with this one.

Inform yourselves, offenders!

Thoughts on this?  I think it’s rather hideous.

My inner Indian Jones is getting all it-belongs-in-a-museum twitchy over this, but how nifty is this story?

Someday I vow to build this (or something strongly akin to it) for my children!  (Who am I kidding, totally for me!  “Where’s Mummy got to?”  “Oh, just Narnia.”)

Annnnnd Scene!

J: “You have to wrap my presents!’
C: “We don’t even have a tree to put them under.”
J: “We have an [exercise] bike.  I’ve draped it with jackets, it looks like snow.”
C: “It’s not the same thing!”

The Christmas spirit is clearly kicking at Chez Small Dog.  All are welcome at the festivities, which include napping.

Winter’s (Lovely) Chill

“I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape – the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter.  Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show.”
~ Andrew Wyeth

A strange lethargy has overtaken me, kittens.  I’m busier at work than I’ve ever been in recent memory and when I get home I’m wiped.  Things like making dinner seem outrageously hard, the thought of cleaning or straightening anything is downright laughable, and I’m in bed early.  Ever since my relaxing Thanksgiving holiday, anything past 10:30pm feels late.

Winter hibernation has moved in and is here to stay until March at the earliest.

I had great ambitions last night of making a curry for dinner, snatching a sweater on sale, buying wrapping gear for some presents, wrapping said presents, and folding laundry.  I managed the sweater and wrapping boxes and called it quits.  J. and I watched a few missed TV episodes, got hamburgers, and cuddled on the couch instead.  We regret nothing.

We finally got our first December snow, we had to turn on our heater for the first time, we’re buying a box of clementines and a couple of pomegranates a week, and the sun goes down before I get out of work – I think it’s winter, guys.  Anyone else up for a few months’ long nap?

(image via BBC)
(image via BBC)

Friday Links XLIV

“In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director.”
– Alfred Hitchcock

Hi!  Sorry, just got back from a documentary screening, but I couldn’t possibly leave you hanging.  That wouldn’t be in the spirit of the season at all. To the links:

North Korea – your ability to to be laughably insane and tragically oppressive never ceases to amaze me.

One of The Girls works at the Chronicle of Higher Education and always alerts me to the best of their articles and projects, here’s her latest recommendation.

I couldn’t fingerpaint to save my life as a kid…

His Holiness is now…on Twitter.  I’m not sure what to think of this.

This is a great documentary I caught on PBS a while back, well worth a look in by anyone who is interested in the history of televised entertainment.

Christmas is coming, and I can only assume that a few of you, like myself, are scrambling for some last minute gifts.  Have no fear, stationery to the rescue!  Seriously, I am coveting several of those stamps…there are some really cute things here.

‘Tis also the season for Christmas jumpers, enjoy Topman’s offerings.

Anything Katharine Hepburn is approved!

I’m not counting down the days until I can wander around London again or anything, no not at all…

This is My Jam

“And therefore, Uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that [Christmas] has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

My deep love for traditional carols is well documented, and highly unlikely to change, but some Hipster tunes have recently been brought to my attention that I am not at all loathe to add to my Vince Guaraldi.

Hey, It’s Christmas produces an album a year with lesser known artists delivering Christmas songs, some traditional and some totally new.  You can stream them for free or you can pay what you think they’re worth to download.  Here are Volume I, Volume II, and Volume III.

What do you guys think?

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