Category: Weekend

How to Look Creepy in Front of Strangers

“When all of a sudden, people say, ‘Wow, you look nice,’ and carry on, it’s shocking.  Really awkward.”
– Nikki Cox
 

Hey kids! Let's learn about history from your bizarre Aunt C.!

If ever you are participating in a group game night with a bunch of people you have only met once before and with whom you share absolutely no history, conversation, or shared interest (because they are part of your brother-in-law’s set and that one time you met them before was over a year ago), and you a playing a game in which you have to describe a person from history…who might not have been a palatable choice for a conservative crowd… 

…do not, under any circumstances, try to get your teammates to guess the name on the card you chose.  Skip it and go to the next card.  Trust me on this. 

Dear, dear. Now we're all uncomfortable, aren't we?

Example:
“Ok!  He’s an 18th century French writer who was extremely controversial.  Got locked up for years because of what he wrote, both in the Bastille and an insane asylum.  To be fair he was basically a filthy, vile pornographer who wrote about horrible things.  Word “sadism” comes from his name.” 

Example Response:
“Um, wow, C., you know a lot about this weirdo…”  

Blast.  I look a pervert.

Beware the Ides of Monday

“Julius Caesar was killed for one reason,
the Senators decided to accuse him of treason,
the day was the Ides and March was the season,
he wanted to be king, they wanted his head.”
– stanza of a poem I wrote ten years ago.  Won me a school competition
.

Monday feels a bit, appropriately, like this today:

Ouch!

 

Editor's Note: If only all brutal monday mornings were accompanied by a young Marlon Brando.

Crunch Time…Can Wait!

“Oh how I love the crazy hedonism of weekends!”
-Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson

We’re officially one month away from the wedding.  Weird.  J. and I spent saturday with his mother Darling going over everything for the luncheon, being dragged all over the site, made to debate the merits of table linens and centerpieces, and having to decide on a desert (we ended up picking two) until I was sure J. was about to claw his ears off so he wouldn’t have to listen to anymore.  And frankly the luncheon is his parents’ party, they are paying for it, so if she wants to do the whole thing in barbie pink and fairy sparkles I’ll (grit my teeth but) not say a word!

Small Dog loves her red velvet!
Small Dog loves her red velvet!

Sunday I flouted my nutritionists (aka Venice and Miyagi) because Fairy threw me a birthday party!  I ate two pieces of red velvet cake, stuffed myself on GS’s famous fruit salsa, accidental made Elle cry (SORRY!), and took lots of food home with me to continue ruining my eating plan with!  Then I spent four hours gossiping with Fairy after everyone else had left before heading home, gorging myself on BBC and another half of cake, and heading to bed way too late.  In other words, a great weekend.

Of course, with only a month to go that means we have at least one major project a week.  Gifts have started flowing in, we’re having pictures taken on wednsday, we have to finalize guest counts for all the functions, figure out to get the out-of-towners (basically anyone related to me) around town, convince some of my other relatives (who are legitimately round the twist) to even come…sigh.  Getting married, not for the feint of heart!

But I’m Le Tired!

“We should get up.”
“Nope.”
-C. and Peregrine

weekendWhen I was a student weekends were for professional procrastination, the deliberate putting off of what we could do today until tomorrow.  Unless it was the weekend before a paper or test, in which case it was a frantic mess of studying, typing, the hot chocolate by the cupload (I prefer sugar to caffeine).  But ever since joining the post-undergraduate workforce, I cannot think of anything less relaxing than a weekend!  Even if they are fun, they are exhausting.  

Peregrine came into town to visit this weekend, YEAH!  She’s making the rounds visiting friends, but crashing at my place.  Thanks to her I think I’ve eaten more calories in the last two days than a small third world country sees in a year, due to our mutual love of heavy cream, french cheeses, and chocolate.  Bad… 

 I saw my godbrother Pieter for the last time in two years, he’s going to be in Belgium (where I used to live!  Eating the waffles I love!  And I’m nowhere around!) doing missionary work.  He’s going to do a lot of good, I know, but I’m going to miss him!  Fairy threw an amazing soiree for him on sunday with waffles as the main event (very cute) to see him off and I was over at their house for six hours.  (In other godfamily news, little Elle is four months old and adorable!  She’s obviously her father’s daughter; for the first two years I knew GBIL every photo I’d seen of him he was sticking his tongue out.  And when I was playing with Elle yesterday she gave me one of her big full body smiles…and stuck her tongue out at me.  She looked so like him that I burst out laughing.  I can’t believe she’s so big.)

I also got some shopping done over the weekend, got a haircut, did my weekly library raid, watched two movies from my list, contemplated (but then rejected) the idea of doing laundry, straighted my flat, paid bills, and balanced my budget.  And now I’m back at work.  Bleh.