Dress, Distress, Duress

“I had my second dress fitting.”
“How’s it looking?”
“Fine.  The only problem is me in it.”
-C. and Venice

Small Dog has body issues.
Small Dog has body issues.

I work our regularly, my weight hovers between a very healthy 115 and 120, I have low blood pressure, and I’ve achieved that rare state in a woman: I think my body looks pretty good.  Or at least I did.  On saturday I went in for another wedding dress fitting and my confidence crumbled at my feet.  I don’t care if you’re freaking Gisele Bundchen, put on a form hugging dress in a really light color, turn on glaring, unforgiving fluorescent lights, and stand in front of nearly 360 degree mirrors and even you would suddenly feel whale-ish. 

In other depressing wedding news, our invitations have come and while they look lovely, my mother wants them hand addressed.  ?!?!?!  I may have to get all my girlfriends together one night, promise them food in exchange for services, and beg them for their help because not only is my handwriting atrocious, the idea of addressing even just my share of our 400 invitations makes me want to cry!  I’m fully aware that the reception is my parents’ party, they are paying for it, they are throwing it, they are hosting it, but I have this small whiny child inside me who wails, “Do I have to?”

4 thoughts on “Dress, Distress, Duress”

  1. Things I shouldn’t say: can’t you just hand address the one to your mom and print the rest? She’ll never know…

  2. Alternate title for this post: “Before you dress, distress!” Ah classic Caress ads 🙂

    Oh and if you do in fact decide to follow Venice’s tip, I’d be slightly more sneaky than that. There’s a few random people that it might still be good to do handwritten addressing for, just in case. But I like it, it’s brilliant!

  3. Hand address the older folks’s; the younger ones don’t care and won’t appreciate it.

    I have a mean calligraphy ability if you’d like help. I also and very bored at work.

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