Tag: Winter

Family, Humor

Why Are Mothers So Smart?

“It is a difficult thing to do, to stop being a full-speed-ahead student and settle into the more mundane life of a working woman.  Suddenly you find yourself no longer super stimulated, intellectually, or running 100 mph, 24/7.   

It’s very hard to get into the swing of mundane things, and find satisfaction in them.  Learning to love the simple things in life is a art form.  It takes a change of mental attitude and a lot of practice in order to go slow and enjoy the ride.  Instead, we tend to want to fill up our days with things that stimulate, but don’t really feed our needs.  Burnout is the inevitable result.
 
Do get your exercise and healthy food, do go to bed earlier, do say ‘no’ to things, but ‘yes’ to fun, and do let me know if you want me to buy you a light box.”
– Mum

Funny how mother’s just get things, huh?  Like winter funks and the contributing factors.  And how they immediately either make you feel better or know what to suggest that will.  Hope I’m this wise when I’ve got my own spawn to raise!

I’m lucky to have lots of mother figures in my life so here’s a happy birthday to the newest but by no means least, my wonderful Mother-in-Law Darling tomorrow!  I’m lucky to be able to share my families (all of them) with you!

Humor, Sad

Winter Blues

“You know when you take a puppy to the vet, and it get poked and prodded for hours, and when you get it home it’s drained, exhausted, and loopy for days?  That’s you right now.”
– J.

Winter has been rough for me this year.  My theory is that the lack of sunlight (which by itself doesn’t really bug me, seeing as I like rainy, cloudy, and cold weather just fine) combining with birth control hormones for the first time during the dark half of the year has congealed into a perfect cocktail of winter doldrums. 

All I want to do is hibernate.  Even if, in spite of the ridiculous things that wake me up occasionally, I get a full night’s rest, I wake up exhausted every day and completely lacking the will to do anything.  For a week now I’ve hauled myself out of bed mere minutes before we have to dash out the door to work/school.  There’s been a pile of clean clothes sitting on my floor for days because I just can’t muster the strength to sort and store them (sorry, Mum!).  We got these great electric toothbrushes for Christmas from J.’s parents which took some getting used to (i.e. splattering the mirror) which I haven’t dealt with in a week.  And nature might abhor a vacuum, but not as much as me!

This isn’t just run of the mill laziness and I’ve never been this affected by a season before.  I’m in a right dirty winter funk!

Humor, Snark

Brr! And Grr!

“Son of a…”
-Detective M. looking out the window

In December - charming. In April - evil.
In December - charming. In April - evil.

Ok, Mother Nature, you obviously didn’t get the message earlier, either that or you’re just a sadistic psycho wench, so I’m going to make this as clear as I can.

KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE SNOW.  IT IS FREAKING MID-APRIL.  There should be blue skies with plenty of clouds, flowers shooting up left and right, and cheerful springtime animals starting to frolic about.  What twisted alternate time warp are you in?  Have you no sympathy for people’s feelings, let alone the calendar?  I am getting sick of packing up winter sweaters only to drag them out of the closet for 48 hours at a time.  Is there someone else up there we can talk to, because you clearly aren’t managing to get your job done.  To summarize, showers are permissible, blizzards are not.  Fix it.  Now.

Humor

An Edict

April prepares her green traffic light and the world thinks Go. 
-Christopher Morley

I have decided that winter is over.  There will be no future discussion on the matter, I have made my decision.

ist2_2962504-winter-sucksSo all this snow on the mountains?  Yeah, that has got to go.  And further shenanigans with the temperature will not be tolerated, none of this 60 degree weather one day and 20-something degree weather the next.  Icy sidewalks, parking lots, stairways, ramps, and surfaces in general are strictly verboten forthwith.  Boots are again to be considered a fashionable accessory and not a survival necessity, as are scarves, gloves, and hats.  Snow and hail must turn in their resignation, we have decided to move in a new direction, namely “spring showers.”  Sunshine will be mandatory at least four days a week, clouds are permissable if they are of the fluffy white, breezy, or slighly-gray-but-only-passing-through varieties.  Leaves must report for duty on trees immediately!  Repeat immediately!  Flowers to follow shortly thereafter.  Sweaters are to be of the lightweight sort, with an optional jacket, and not layers deep of heavy wool.  Thermometers will hover steadily between 70-85 degrees F.  An aura of general pleasantness and “springness” will pervade the air. 

Decreed this day by C., Empress of the Universe.  Hear that, universe?  I’m in charge and “We are not amused!”

Weird, Work

Lockdowns, Employment and Otherwise

“This having a baby and going right back to work has got to stop.  They may do it in Africa and Asia but here it makes the rest of us look bad!”  
-C. to Tink 

I’m about to have a managerial divorce from my work wife Tink.  She’s going on maternity leave but due to family concerns, a recession-induced hiring freeze on the department, and our need for another dispatcher, she won’t be coming back.  Hennessy is moving over from our Appeals department and she’s going to be lots of fun to work with, but I will miss my work wife!

The majority of my nightmares now include some variation on this theme
The majority of my nightmares now include some variation on this theme

On an unrelated note, I am learning lots about driving in icy weather.  I got my original driver license on Guam where the temperature never dipped below 75 F on a cold day.  I never knew I’d have the experience to physically dig my car out of ice in a parking lot, nearly swerve off a road due to no fault of my own, or live in constant fear of killing a small child inadvertently.  However this morning I discovered a new perplexity: my locks froze!  I eventually got in the passenger’s side door and scooted over to drive to work, by which time that door was functional again, but honestly!