Meet Cuckoo

“There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.”
― G.K. Chesterton

Oh hello Federalist-style-house, lover.

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I do love red brick colonial!

This beauty is Cuckoo, a local landmark for nearly two centuries now, and more or less site of where Jack Jouett set off on his famous ride. He’s considered the Virginian Paul Revere who rode to warn then Governor Thomas Jefferson that the British were coming…to capture the entire state legislature. The British were led by this guy, who aside from a banner British name, was so ruthless that he was in the inspiration for the villain in the Mel Gibson film The Patriot (the one who more or less slaughters an entire family in slow motion. Also played by Ciaran Hinds opposing the slave trade in Amazing Grace – clearly a nasty fellow all around). So, well done there. We wouldn’t have wanted Tommy J. to tangle with him.

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Like every other old house in the area, it was a work in progress, and additions were added as needed by the family.

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You can’t take two steps in this county without tripping over one of these historical markers. The area is lousy with Revolution and Civil War placards. It’s a historical infestation – the one vermin you welcome!

all images my own

Friday Links (Slings and Arrows Edition)

“The whole point of the week is the weekend.”
― Bones, TV show

ETA: Apologies for the delay, minions, the blighted internet has been down all day, I just got it up and running, and fear it could fail at any minute. That’s been a theme this week, the loss of internet, along with only intermittent phone coverage, selling the car (if any minions are in the market in a certain western state, do let me know), and getting our visas!  …Only to be told that the consulate can’t ship them because FedEx doesn’t recognize Jeff’s current zip code, even though it’s the one he mailed off our applications from in the first place. We collectively resisted the urge to bang our heads against something and came up with a solution but seriously. I just want them in our hands already – although we’re really impressed at how quick the turnaround time was for getting them. End addition.

Very busy, must dash. Political people to try and get a hold of and major luxury brands to wrangle interviews from. And cleaning, I must clean. Gah, my vacation is very similar to my regular life, n’est pas? Except for the fact that I’m trying to find ways to use up a truly alarming amount of frozen deer meat in the freezer, that’s definitely new.

Gentlemen, ha. Everyone should read these.

People, we must control ourselves better when the heat rises! Such culinary behavior is totally unwarranted.

Royal Baby Watch reached fever pitch this week. This was one of the better, less invasive features on the subject.

In case I haven’t mentioned it (re: you’re probably sick of hearing it), but I’m tingling with excitement about getting back to Britain and its theatres. Stephen Fry – my spirit animal – is making it worse.

Blog find of the week, which compares past and present, and particularly the influence (and sometimes shameless copycatting of) high art in fashion.

Two great men of letters tell us how to make tea. The comments are equally funny.

Hat tip to one of the girls for this post, because of my recent photo-romance with derelict.

I just want to make everyone aware that this twitter feed exists. You are welcome. It may be that my week was a bit too frantic, but I found this hysterical.

Both lovely and sad.

Pass the Honey (a bit trickier out here)

“I’m covered in bees!”
― Eddie Izzard

My Dad was born in the wrong century, his real vocation is to be a gentleman farmer. Unfortunately he’s a bit hobbled by things like the 21st century and neighbors too close for his liking, but he makes up for these inconveniences by working on his land to turn it into a wild kind of estate.

His projects have run the gamut, including clearing a handful of acres for a meadow, digging for a pond (I’ve driven the excavator and the power trip is enormous!), digging a well and building up a natural stone wall around it, planting an orchard (a bit sparse still but we have high hopes), and planting berry bushes. All of these are ongoing, and lot of fun to help with when we’re in town.

But as far as I’m concerned, his most interesting venture has been beekeeping.

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Amy and Ryan were in town and tagged along like troopers when I wanted to watch him start the summer harvest. As a reward they got to witness the (hilarious, I’m sure) sight of me running to escape a disgruntled worker that at one point tangled up in my ponytail. I’m just glad he didn’t summon his friends!

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Nothing alarming happening here, oh no, sir. Just keep very still.

Wild honey, especially from the forest, looks nothing like what you buy in the store. It’s as dark as molasses and almost punchy with flavor.

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This venture has been completely hobby based. Dad’s built up his supply of equipment and gear piece by piece and solved problems as they’ve come up.

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To pick one example, not entirely at random, the problem of bears has been solved by that electric fence. No one has figured out a solution to the problem of bears in the neighborhood, however.

Once he smokes the bees and takes the hive boxes he wants to harvest, the next step is to extract the honey.

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You use an electric hot knife to slice off the cap of the comb and a machine that uses centrifugal force to spin the honey out of it. Then you take the comb (still intact) back to the bees who will refill it with honey for themselves and use it to survive the winter. Resourceful animals, they make litres of the stuff a year. Dad and I experimented around a bit one evening, entertainment being somewhat harder to find around here, and turned some of those hive caps into a brick of pure beeswax. When you need to strain a pot of  boiling hot liquid, a t-shirt is a normal substitute for cheesecloth right?

The only problem is that we can’t quite eat the stuff fast enough. Amy went home with a jar of it, the better to drink American style tea, my dear, but we need to figure out some other schemes too.

all images my own

Past Education

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.”
― Albert Einstein

Want to see a typical schoolhouse for most of rural America for the better part of two centuries? Brace yourself:

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That thing is, no exaggeration, smaller than most garden sheds I’ve seen. I went to high school in what used to be a WWII weather station, graduating class of 60 students max. Tiny by most suburban measurements (Jeff, for example had a graduating class bigger than my entire school combined). And even I can’t even wrap my head around school in a closet.

4th of July and Local Orientation

“I rode on a float in one of the parades in Mississippi. It’s an experience.”
– Elliott Smith

For the 4th, we went canoeing and kayaking on our river which for obvious practical reasons is not photographically documented. We came back a muddy and poison ivy-ed mess. Then my sister linked up with friends and my brother was pretty done in, so Dad and I packed up some chairs and meandered into town for the local parade.

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Dad found a prime spot.

Locally, the biggest parade of the year is the Christmas one, the Independence Day one is pretty dinky by comparison but still pretty fun. Boy and girl scout troupes marched, so did local veterans associations, and so on. But most importantly the local fire department.

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Our entire county fire department is volunteer based – there simply isn’t enough money to house a full time one and our county is very big, but very empty. The towns came up with a fairly simple but brilliant solution: to share the costs of the equipment needed to fight fires in the country by divvying them up. Thus, one town owns and operates the traditional truck. Another (since water is plentiful but plumbing is not – most ponds near buildings have pumps built into them that serve as fire hydrants), a mobile water tanker. It’s an imperfect system that works remarkably well given their task.

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Some country communities revolve around a town hall or a church. Ours, around the volunteer fire department. There are regular fairs and events to support or raise money for them and they are a source of great community pride.

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All townships, cities, and areas are represented.

Bumpass is justifiably famous for its unusual name, which is incidentally also a source of local pride, but its history is far less colorful than one would hope. It’s an anglicized corruption of  bon pas, or good step, the name of a long ago family.

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Most of main street in one shot. Not pictured (but should be and will get it’s own post), Floozie’s Pie Shop.

Friday Links (Augh! AUGH! Edition)

“The job of the newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”
– Attributed to Finley Peter Dunne

Why I thought my summer would be relaxing is now a mystery to me. Suffice it to say I am busy with super luxury items of the rich and famous, goat raising, senators, and massive excavators. All, sadly unrelated. What a glorious thriller novel that would be!

suspenseHowever, somethings seriously exciting and amazing happened this week…but I am cruel, minions, and will make you wait for the bottom of the links to find out what it is. (Or you can scroll down, whatever, I’m not your boss.) But THAT is among the reasons I’ve been so frantically busy.

Here are your links – enjoy the weekend!

This week was the beginning of Ramadan. Assalamu alaikum.

Summer’s halfway over [pauses to clutch self and demand where the hell this year is going so fast?!], so get thee to a beach!

While we’re still riding the patriotic high, let’s being some of these back, huh?

Do you want to learn about bread in the Middle Ages, including the signs used for it by silent monks and recipes? Of course you do! Please keep the Ergotism under control.

I have absolutely no desire for an iPhone – but I admit this phone case for one makes a pretty compelling argument. I’d forgotten how much pineapples and Virginia go together, and I’ve been pretty pleased to renew the acquaintance.

Weigh in, kittens: is this particular age of conspicuous consumption done?

French women and that je ne sais quoi. Here’s a list of the top 50 chicest of them all. Agree or disagree with the selection?

Both J. Crew and Five Guys are or are about to be open in London. Jeff and I can continue to worship at our respective shrines. When I tweeted the latter to him, he might have done a little dance.

Jeff is among those who “can quit any time he wants to.” I scoff.

As unsettling as the idea of Schrodinger’s Rapist may be, I feel that this it’s important for many men to understand that women live with this horrible thought pretty much most of the time. I wrote a post on this myself a while back.

Great shot, NASA!

London photos, past and present. (I have an overwhelming urge to shout, “Take heart for Mrs. Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!”)

(h/t to Planes, Trains, and Plantagenets for this one) Of course this was going to happen someday. Because of reasons.

And last but not least, I got my first major byline this week for additional reporting on a New York Times story! The delay in informing you has been entirely due to the after effects of happy hyperventilation! Many thanks to Caitlin Kelly for the opportunity to work with her and contribute to it. Great bosses and mentors are hard to find, she is unquestionably both.

Meet Magnolia

“Old houses were scaffolding once and workmen whistling.”
– T.E. Hulme

My desire to own a historic home is a deep, throbbing one born of being travel-spoiled and living too many places with too many fascinating houses (at some point I’ll have to take some photos of some of the local estates that were built before founding of the country!), it messes with your sense of proportion. In Germany we lived in an old house with an orchard in the backyard and a ruined castle up the hill. Our village in England was primarily famous for an Anglo Saxon silver hoard being dug up in someone’s garden. History!

I’m an 18th century house lover myself, but a few miles walk from my parents house is a late 19th century farm house that’s been recently restored. And I want it.

It sits on a couple acres with two huge paddocks/lawns fenced in prettily. It has its own stables (no good to me, I haven’t ridden in years, but it adds beautifully to the charm), and the drive is honest to goodness an old carriage and wagon track. It even has its own herb garden, for heck’s sake. The name of this gem:

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Blame Britain but I am a firm believer that every proper house should have a name. My family’s land doesn’t have a house on it yet (Dad has ambitions) but it’s named Stonewell.

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See? Absolutely charming. As with all local, old farmhouses, at least one extension was built onto the back, though this view hides it. And it isn’t just the house that gets branded:

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In case the horses forget to which house they belong. And, in case you forgot I live in Virginia (home of 18th century, democratic ideals and titles to match), the even older across the country road is called…

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Equanimity Farm. You can’t even see that house, it’s set far back from the road and surrounded by privacy protecting trees.  The whole spot is just riddled with character!

And really, that’s what I love about old houses – they have character. Mass produced houses built inches apart from and completely identical one another seem just utterly soul-less. But these old houses, they have stories behind them. You can see that lives have been lived in them, you can see that time has left it’s mark on them (some more than others) and you want to know how they went from families living there, people being born and dying for generations, to being reclaimed by the woods. Older houses don’t just have characters, like Victor Hugo’s Notre Dame they are characters in their own right.

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Come. On.

Anyone got $350,000 they can spare me?

Ticks

I just had to document, so that you duckling may flinch with me appropriately, that this song exists.

I caught the last line of it while switching through radio stations driving home from the store and it was so crazy that I thought I must have mistaken it.

But no.

It is comparing checking one’s ladyfriend for ticks (the second vilest vermin God ever turned out wandering, after cockroaches alone) to making the beast with two backs.

Seriously.

I take at least a half dozen of those pestilent parasites off the dog daily and it never stops being disgusting.  I feel that I should hastag backwoods or something, but the truth is I’m a bit traumatized.

Worst. Euphemism. Ever.

Movie Night

“Do I want to go to an old drive-in movie theatre [called Goochland] in the Virginia backwoods? What kind of question is that? Get in the car!”
– C.

No doubt about it, things are different ’round here. Last week, after a particularly long day getting my sister to a doctor’s appointment and returning to find the internet in a complete state of disarray (not an unusual event around here, but a consistently frustrating one), I spent the entire afternoon trying to input a load of edits for a project I’d been working on and then send it off. I was also putting a bunch of interview information for another project into some semblance of order. It took hours longer than necessary.

So, when I threw my metaphoric pen down and looked up, I and everybody else were in need of some evening entertainment. The family have turned into big movie goers of late so that’s what they suggested. But going to the movies (locally) these days is taking a step back in time.

Welcome to…

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Goochland Drive In!

Pay your fare, find your preferred space, tune into the correct radio station for audio, and play badminton until your double feature starts.

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What? How do your kith and kin pass the time in a drive in parking lot, then?

Hands down the best thing about Goochland is that they do things old school! Cartoons before previews, animated urgings concerning concessions, and some old Americana (like the famous Keep American Beautiful commercial featuring a weeping Native American). The preshow is just about as fun as the movies themselves and really preserves this form of entertainment nicely.

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Our heroine is kidnapped!

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Our well intentioned, but somewhat clueless hero is finally on the way.

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The dramatic showdown!

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Everything is of course resolved by a quick trip to the concessions stand.

In between features they played old cartoons from the 1960s with villains that looked like these guys:

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With everyone’s car radios around you tuned in the movies, the audio is in magnificent stereo and drowns out even the nighttime frogs and bugs. Fireflies add rather perfectly to the atmosphere too. Just pull up some gravel and enjoy! I highly recommend it.

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