“I think we should change the amount of time in each day. Sunday thru Friday should be reduced from 24 hours down to ten minutes, and Saturday would become a 167-hour day. That way, when people ask me what I did all week I could truthfully respond, “I slept all week. But I got a hell of a lot done on Saturday.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They’re Over

Apart from Monday when a shrieking, disturbed man was running straight at me and I had a (surprisingly matter-of-fact), “Great, this is how I die,” moment, this week hasn’t been terribly exciting but for one fact: my family is in town!  I haven’t seen them since Christmas of last year so it’s quite a treat.  Last night J. and I took them to our favorite barbeque joint and then hung out at our place for a couple of hours.  Today they’re going for a hike in the mountains (while I bring home bacon, or whatever) and we’re going to a show this evening.  Tomorrow we’ve got a picnic and dinner at my godparents house.  Needless to say, I’m anxious for the work week to be over.  Here are your links, well beloved minions.  What will you darlings be up to this weekend?

Text speak: not as new as you’d think.

Homeless and abused to artist.  I’m not talking about a person.

The illusion is shattered.

So is a treasured part of my childhood.

Minions!  You are all required to make yourself a signature polish at once!

A six year old who knows her Greek mythology and takes stabs at the plots of great novels based on covers?  Clearly she and Stormaggedon are going to be friends.

Olympics, still happening.  Here’s a great moment from its history.

I am not a girl who squeals at spiders, I am a girl who rolls her eyes at her shrieking roommates, catches spiders, and releases them outside.  I caught snakes in the backyard and out at my family’s land routinely.  I loathe cockroaches but they do not produce fear in me so much as… murderous psychopathy.  But I don’t think I could eat this without at least a few moments hesitation.

No fear of heights either but more than a couple of these would make me dizzy.

Can I just say it?  Ryan Lochte does nothing for me.  Apparently he’s the second coming of Adonis to some, but I don’t get it.  Not least because whenever he opens his mouth (or his Twitter account) he seems less and less…shall we say, articulate?

As our summer blockbusters wind down and the Very Serious Films that could contend for Oscars begin to show up on the radar, here’s Vulture’s list of the 100 Most Valuable Stars, just in case you were wondering.

Take that, poachers!

Honestly, doesn’t that thing go in a safe deposit box or something?  How do you misplace one!