“This is what fellows always run up against in the detective novels–What to Do With the Body. They manage the murder part of it all right, and then stub their toes on the body problem.”
-P.G. Woodhoues
The other day, Susie was taking a break and walked around the office when she came up short at the copy machine station and froze with a sort of irritated sound.
“C., is this yours?”
In her hands was a photo of a particularly grisly murder scene that our department investigated some years back. After even just three years working here, and murder hardly a typical event, this is utterly unfazing to me. Even less so for Susie who has a good decade on me. We’re excellent people to have around in emergencies.
“Ah,” I squinted at it, “no. Definitely not. And it absolutely should not be laying around.”
See, apart from being inappropriate and gory, it’s rather a huge records protection issue to leave sensitive stuff like that just hanging out on a work table.
“Do you know the case?”
I did, from my adventure in the media lab last year.
“Would you mind – ” she thrust it at me with a wave to indicate my general responsibility and returned to her regular, less gruesome duties.
Of course, this sort of surreptitiousness (unusual in our gossipy office) aroused considerable interest on the part of some of the student employees as I went from department to department with the large photos pressed tightly to my body trying to keep them from seeing as they begged, cajoled, and outright tried to bribe me for a peek. Eventually Lt. Citrus claimed them. He had no idea how they got where they did – which seeing as it’s Halloween season, doesn’t inspire confidence as to whether or not our campus is located on an ancient burial ground filled with restless spirits.
There are days, ducklings, where the weirdness of my job is thrown into sharp relief. Most of the time it’s notarization, stolen bikes or backpacks, or basic receptionist work. Every once and a while, I’m skulking murder documents around the office like MI5.
Weirdest thing that’s happened to you at work recently, kittens?
Small Dog Syndrome 
Wow. Hard to top that one!
Probably by far? Having to call the cops on the weird neighbors next door. It was a little….unnerving to say the least.
I’m generally non confrontational when it comes to them (they scare the bejebus out of me) and either avoid them or smile and move quickly. But this particular day they were accenting my air with a bevy of foul language and other pleasantries. I decided to go with avoidance (as its been working for 6 months why would it fail me now?) and popped in my iPod buds to drown them out. Little did I realize that they were screaming loudly enough I could hear them over my full blast iPod in my ears.