Why Can’t I Press the Button?

“If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.”
~ Frank Lloyd Wright

One of my brothers-in-law works for Motorolla, thus the family often benefits from new phones – sometimes for testing, sometimes just because he’s nice like that.

Saturday evening (the night of the Self Imposed Inquisition) I was having a girl’s night at Fairy’s house with GS, Sadie, and Elle and we were discussing Pieter’s homecoming later this month.  He’s been abroad for a long while and the moment he gets back, they are turning him right about and all going on a trip to France, Belgium, and Switzerland – lucky devils!

Anyway, the subject turned to things he will need, quand il retourne aux Etats-Unis, after his extended jaunt and naturally enough the subject turned to phones.  He’s resuming his business studies and my godmother wanted to know whether he would need a smart phone for his program.  Which discussion segued naturally into a debate about whether smart phones are necessary in today’s society.

Pictured: my techno nightmare.

I said that although I think someday they will be, we’re not there yet.  At least I’m not.  I use my phone for talking to people and occasional text messaging (I’m old school and prefer to have actual conversations with people, and not just sound bytes) but not too much else.  That and I lose it constantly.  If it were up to me, we might never have moved on from stone tablets.

In fact, the analogy I used went like this: “Smart phones are like laser hair removal.  I’d love it, but it’s way too pricey.  A few years from now I’ll probably leap on the bandwagon late, but it will be cheaper.  They’ll have come up with something newer and shinier to do the same job.”  Verbatim.  These are the sorts of deep discussions we have.

C. Canis Minor – classical philosopher.

And wouldn’t you know it, Sunday we had a family dinner with J.’s clan. Present was a sister-in-law visiting from Chicago, the one who happens to be married to the same brother mentioned above.  And guess what presents she arrived with?

The irony of it.

So now I’m trying to figure out this fancy new interface and touch screen, terrified that any second now I’m going to push a button that will cause our phone bill to soar to several thousand dollars a month.  Or that I’ll drop it.  In a fit of paranoia I had to entire rearrange my purse so that my new phone has its own compartment and can’t get scratched by keys, lipstick, or any other paraphernalia.

2 thoughts on “Why Can’t I Press the Button?”

  1. I vote for the return of passenger pigeons.

    I have been through several cellphones, unable to do even the most basic things with them. I try to “lose” them. Not terribly mature, but how stupid can one person feel when defeated by a piece of rubber and rare earth metals?

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