Say What?

“The cat likes overhearing children stories.”
– Amelie (2001)

Let's listen in, shall we?

Working at University Police Department, one overhears things.  And if one is like me, with the unnatural ability to tune into conversations at the oddest, most embarrassing, or just when it’s heading for the HR office reportable. one overhears too much.

Can you guess the context of what was overheard this week?

“I need to go put a shirt on.”
A) Lt. Colossus gets in from his shift at Chippendales
B) A load of pasta had spilled down Lt. Figaro’s best uniform
C) A student officer, forced to strip when he got soaked in a downpour, relates his frustration

“She was the least flexible woman I’ve ever done!”
A) Wise relates a tale from her pregnancy yoga class
B) Lt. Citrus accidentally lets slip an insight to his scandal ridden past
C) Officer Lampost fingerprints an octogenarian

“Wow, I’ve never seen you in clothes!”
A) Bebe reveals her scandalous affair, HR is called
B) Bebe reveals her propensity to visit Chippendales (see Number 1)
C) Bebe embarrasses an officer when we get a rare glimpse of him in street clothes

“Have you ever been jogging with fireflies.  Magical!
A) A student officer is on drugs
B) A student officer is severely concussed
C) Hell if we know…

A) A student officer is on drugs, again
B) A student officer ate a whole bag of Jolly Ranchers and is vibrating from a sugar high
C) …???

The answers are all “C”
1-2 correct: you’ve a filthy mind
3-4 correct: you’ve a boring mind
5 correct: cheater!

36 thoughts on “Say What?”

  1. These are hilarious. I tend to have the unfortunate luck of falling into conversations at the wrong moments as well. Makes for good stories though…and obviously good posts too. Congrats on being FP’ed!

  2. When I’m really sleepy, like during a several-hours-long train ride, and there are people nearby speaking to each other in a non-English language, just as I’m about to fall asleep the strangest thing happens: I begin to understand wha they are saying! It’s something that goes on in my unconscious, where it seems to just make sense. Anyone else experience this phenomena?

  3. Congratulations on being featured on Freshly Pressed? Overhearing a conversation can really ’cause a lot of confusion and embarrassment especially if it is taken out of context.
    Thanks for sharing your wonderful sense of humour.

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