“A great source of calamity lies in…anticipation.”
– Oliver Goldsmith
Don’t hold your breath, ducklings.
The big news is that there is no news. Instead of meeting with the Dean, I was going to meet with Chief instead, so Susie informed me. At two. Well, that was fine enough, although I was a bit nervous. But then Chief, who’d been out all last week, had too much to catch up on so he told Susie to tell me that the meeting was going to be pushed back a bit. And when he finally called me in at about three, he told me that he was actually too busy to meet and – since he was going to be out of the office the rest of this week as well – he was postponing meeting with me until next Monday.
Anger is firmly in the collective driving seat right now. I’m sick of being shunted around while people have discussions about me but don’t actually discuss anything with me. I hate this looming, threatening feeling which is, I feel, pretty well undeserved. I was offered a a good opportunity, I chose to pursue it. Mostly, I’m sick of feeling like a target. If the department is going to exact revenge (which I worried about from the beginning), I’d rather them just sack me now instead of letting my stomach slowly corrode itself with stress ulcers for a week.
None of this whole experience has made a lot of sense. This latest event shows no signs of changing that fact.