For the record, gentlemen, ladies do not find most of your “awesome” exploits funny in the least. Neither do the police. If you simply must annoyingly display your affection, stick to pulling our pigtails. Because finding an elk, recently deceased due to an unforeseen run in with a car, decapitating it, and leaving the head on a girl’s kitchen table (shades of The Godfather) does not inspire affection. In fact, it’s considered alarming and creepy.
Also, if you decide to engage in this sort of behavior, don’t post pictures of your exploits on Facebook for the police to find.