A Freak Out In the Style of Margot

Disheartening : knowing that your fitness goals (lose about one pound every two weeks) are attainable and therefore you have absolutely no excuse not to achieve them.
Soul-destroying : working out religiously all week only to discover you have gained a pound instead of lost it.

GAH!, C. cries out to you in angst.

But, C., you say helpfully and soothingly, you know that muscle weighs more than fat and you have been sticking to your weight lifting with admirable regularity.  You spend an hour in the gym every weekday, and sometimes saturdays, and you try really hard to eat a balanced diet, you even take vitamins.  And look how flat your stomach is!  The arm flab is gone too!  Do try and have a little perspective here.  And C., you say a little more firmly and with much less patience, it is one pound.  Surely your melodramatic tendencies can be put to more effective use on another angsty problem. 

I will not be consoled!
I will not be consoled!

No!  (C. wails)  I am picking up my wedding dress on Saturday and already in a nervous panic to see what they alterations girls have done to it and now I am the size of a walrus!  And it’s not even about the wedding (C. howls, swathing herself in sackcloth)!  I know it’s just one pound.  It’s just one of those days: I’m fed up with my job, my internet keeps cutting out, and I gained a pound.  And I really…want…a brownie…!  !

You, shaking your head in disgust and turning about sharply, merely curl your lip.  C., you are being ludicrous.  Let’s talk when your sense of reality reinstates itself.

(Humbly) Ok.

7 thoughts on “A Freak Out In the Style of Margot”

  1. ahahah you are so funny! man… i need to work out i was eating cookies every day now.. what do you do when you need to write tons of research papers! people like you inspire me!

  2. *In the stance of a monarch*
    Ahem….We are very pleased with this performance.

    Also, C, you look perpetually fabulous. And it was so lovely talking to you last night. Really a joy.

  3. *sigh*

    How sad it is when “pretty” is measured in pounds instead of inches.

    a) You’ve lost inches, so your dress will no doubt look aMAzing.
    b) Now that you have all that muscle, you’ll start losing more fat, too; more muscle helps you burn more fat.
    c) Morgan Spurlock ate only fast food for four weeks; between weeks two and three he lost a pound. o_O

  4. I’m also endlessly amused that you said you’re the size of a walrus. That’s amazingly funny.

  5. You are beautiful inside and out. Your beauty is not measurable and will never be measurable in pounds of all things!

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