Tag: TV

Drama, Marriage, Movies

Classic

“It’s January.  Masterpiece Classic Season!”
“What are you, a fifty year old woman?”
“Sometimes.”
– C. and Brando

I love PBS.  Even with the unexpected gift from the cable gods, still gracing our TV by the way with no end in sight, I flick back to my beloved public broadcasting at almost every commercial break. 

PBS has given me lots of fond memories.  The first time I saw The Marriage of Figaro (my favorite opera) was on a PBS station when I was nine, I’ve watched countless Nature episodes with my parents, Bill Nye the Science Guy and Wishbone when I was younger, and BBC America now that I’m older.  My particularly loves (currently) are Larkrise to Candleford and Sherlock Holmes…and whatever documentary is playing.

Does anyone else miss the Edward Gorey style animation sequence for Mystery! ? No one? Am I really that much of a hopeless nerd? Shutting up...

Some people’s entertainment lives cycle around the sweeps, but not I!  I live and die by PBS’s Masterpiece!  Contemporary I don’t really care for, but during Mystery and Classic season the TV is mine starting 8pm on Sunday evenings.  January is the kickoff for Classic season and I’ve already swallowed Return to Cranford and the first episode of Emma whole.  And!  Not content with just Sundays, I usually develop cravings (staring early January) for costume drama mini-series not currently airing, which means I get on a long waiting list at the local library and torture J. with those on weekdays as well.

J. is tolerant and does homework while I watch, and is occasionally firmly shushed when he commits the cardinal sin of speaking before a commercial break.

Humor, Satisfaction, Work

Boob Tube

“And the Lord did grin.  And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats-”
“Skip a bit, brother…”
– Monty Python and the Holy Grail

No, my darlings, I have not abandoned you, I have merely been extremely busy and important lately (finishing up that so called “Three Month Plan” list Susie gave me to do), but we interrupt this wretched excuse for abandonment to bring you this:

The Cable Gods have looked upon their lowly worshippers (who can afford but the most basic of basic cable packages), shown pity upon them, and twisted the space-time continuum/the cable lines.  The dull waters of ABC and C-SPAN have miraculously  parted and let the humble parishioners pass through to new and exciting channels!  J. is soaking up as much ESPN as possible, while I have been watching The Italian Job, cruising through the Style Network, and even shamefully dipping my toe into the Food Network.  (Have you seen the cake decorating shows?!)

What is not commonly known is that the Cable Gods' evil TV revocation minions resemble cats.
What is not commonly known is that the Cable Gods' evil TV revocation minions resemble cats.

However (realizing that where the Cable Gods giveth, they also taketh away), I called up Comcast to make sure that I won’t be slapped with fees or dour-faced legal types sent to smite (disconnect) us with stern Thou Shalt Not Steal Cable punishments.
“Just making sure there hasn’t been a mistake or a mix-up,” I chirruped into the phone, “because while I think it’s fantastic, I would like to make sure it’s legal.”
“Yep, I checked,” said Carrie, our lovely Comcast customer service representative.  “We have no idea how or why it happened, but you’re not at fault and won’t be penalized for anything.”
“So I should…”
“Live it up while you’ve got it, because I have no idea how long it will last.”

Who am I to question the messanger of the Cable Gods?

Drama, Humor

Survival of the Fittest

“I am  never watching The Bachelor again!”
“Didn’t you tell me you said that a couple years ago?”
“This time I mean it!”
-Hennessy and C.

I swear, if I have to hear about The Bachelor’s choice from one more co-worker, friend, or news anchor I may spontaneously combust.  I’ve never watched the show, although Kiri got most of our flatmates hooked on it when we lived together, so perhaps I’m not one to judge…but from my limited expose I venture to postulate it’s one of the sluttiest shows on TV.  It’s in league with Rock of Love in which strippers compete for the fondling–I mean love!–of a fickle rockstar, For the Love of Ray J in which hoes compete for the fondling–I mean love!–of a mediocre R&B star, and any number of MTV’s dating shows.  The crucial difference seems to be that The Bachelor tries to class things up with roses and champagne in an effort to hide the fact that one guy is poly-dating, and everyone is OK with this!

Don't worry, I judge myself. Doesn't stop me, though...
Don't worry, I judge myself. Doesn't stop me, though...

I like my guilty TV to be absolutely upfront about its triviality.  Hence my guiltiest pleasure, America’s Next Top Model, which starts up its new season tonight.  Peregrine, Mrs. Cakes, J., and pretty much everyone I know either turn a blind eye to my addiction or mock it outright, but it doesn’t deter me.  Tyra Banks’ biggest fan is Tyra Banks and I’m fairly positive she’s insane, I hate the fact that Miss J has better legs than I do, and listening to all those dumber-than-air girls invent words, slaughter grammar, and generally live down to all stereotypes might or might not cause people to lose brain function…in other words it has absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.  Love it!

I guess I have no problem with people making an idiot of themselves on TV, but I do object to people who use it as a dating medium.  If you can’t find love the normal way are are forced to resort to such desperate measures, I figure it might just be Nature’s way of weeding out the undesirables.  Reality TV is destroying good Darwinian principles!