“Because it is my name!  Because I cannot have another!”
– The Crucible

Let’s continue on the baby rant theme, shall we?  Or perhaps a variation of it…the names some people inflict on their children.  Unusual names are fine, I have one for heaven’s sake, but some names seem more cruel than anything else.  Here’s a few that have come across my desk in the past few weeks (J., please read this and admit that the nice English names I want to bestow on our children, though odd to an American ear, are far from the worst I could come up with):

Boys

Oral – why, by Jove?!
Hildebrande – named after what was no doubt an embarrassing uncle
Balthazar – are you a video game character?  No?  Bad choice
Stetson – are you a Mountie’s hat?  No?  Bad choice
Turk – is your last name Irish in any way?  If so (it was) bad choice
Jumber – baffling

Girls

Jaraka – an Anglo-American girl from somewhere in the midwest
Daxy – after, apparently, a Star Trek character
Camillo – wrong last letter
Moment – it only takes a moment…to make your child hate you forever

Just so we’re clear, lots of unusual names are quite nice – Janssen’s baby’s name is not common and it’s adorable.  Ditto on my godniece.  But let’s be clear just because your spawn’s name is unique, it does not follow that it’s in good taste.

PS – See J.?  My ideas are looking better and better, aren’t they?